You're There For Me--Part 3 of 3
by VeraRose19
Summary: Gloria is being released from prison and is ready to take her life back. Intent on reconciling with her children, she is forced to confront many demons from her past. Never alone, Red's love is something she can always depend on. As they continue to work to overcome their obstacles and blend their two families into one, their relationship and love only strengthens. [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

Gloria Mendoza was already dressed when the lights in the dorm turned on. The blissful quiet was immediately replaced by the sound of several inmates getting ready to begin another day in prison. Sitting atop her bunk with Red's crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Gloria rubbed her bleary eyes and decided to go for a walk now that her roommates were awake. The last thing she felt like doing was entering into a monotonous conversation about things, and with people, who were no longer relevant to her.

What was just another day wasted for the other prisoners of Litchfield, was the day that Gloria had been anticipating with desperate longing for the past eight years of her life. It was her release day, and she was so ready to walk out those doors and never look back. Gloria didn't care whether the new head cook in the kitchen was a suitable replacement or about any of the other issues that cropped up during a typical day in prison. Everything that had mattered and that had been necessary for her survival in this place was suddenly of no consequence. Accepting that realization made Gloria feel as liberated as if they had already discharged her.

As she walked out the door into the wonderfully vacant yard, so early in the morning it still was, Gloria peeled an orange she had smuggled out of the kitchen the night before. She enjoyed the sweetness of it igniting her taste buds as her mind whirled with the thoughts of everything that the promise of today would soon bring. If she hadn't been feeling so happy, perhaps she would have paid more attention to the nervous knot in her stomach. She wasn't in denial about the challenges awaiting her on the outside, it was just that there were so many better things to think about right now. Red would be arriving to pick her up very soon, she'd be able to kiss her sons before they went to sleep tonight, and she was also very excited to just have a fresh cigarette. Maybe it was going to be hard, but Gloria still felt like she was coming home to a pretty good life.

Lately, Red seemed to have decided to take a reprieve from the tension that had been steadily building between them for weeks. Ever since Gloria had informed her that she was going to move in with Lourdes when she got released, things hadn't been quite right. It had been a relief for Gloria that their conversations over the phone lately had recommenced exuding the same warmth that she had come to depend on. The excitement of her homecoming temporarily overshadowed the more difficult components of their situation. She understood that Red was disappointed, just as she was, but as a mother she believed she was acting in her sons' best interests. Especially after Red had stood Benny up for his school event.

The only factor that stopped Gloria from feeling too angry was Red's obvious regret for her actions. Still, she hated that her son had been let down again and she was disappointed for all of them. It had been hard sitting in prison while she knew that Red and her boys were out in the world having fun and spending time together. It had amazed her that Red had succeeded in winning Benny's trust in the first place and she had loved how much of a family they had become, as though they were always meant to be that way.

Gloria had really been looking forward to being a part of that at last, but now everything had blown apart. Benny had withdrawn into himself and barely spoke. He still drove up with Red and Julio to visit his mom on the weekends, but there was obvious disengagement between them. Benny wasn't rude, he just was cold and untrusting. He refused to talk about Red or admit that she had hurt his feelings when Gloria had asked him about it over the phone. He just seemed to want to pretend that it had never happened, and he tolerated Red's presence but had emotionally disconnected from her in every way.

Red's response had been to make herself scarce. She still drove Benny, along with Julio, to visit Gloria every week but she often excused herself from the visitation room half-way through. She'd go wait in the car so that the mother and sons could be alone. It broke Gloria's heart and she didn't know exactly how to approach the situation. Benny could be stubborn on a good day, and when he was feeling rejected or betrayed it would be almost impossible to get him to let it go.

Without really thinking about it, Gloria was making her way towards the garden that Red had once tended with such care. She ran her fingers mindlessly along the fence that surrounded it, as thoughts of all the wonderful hours they had spent out here together flooded her mind. Back when they had been at Litchfield, the garden had given them some semblance of privacy. The kitchen had been where they had gotten to know one another, but the garden had given them the space to temporarily forget about everything but each other.

"Are you taking a walk through the place one last time to make sure you won't forget?" a gruff voice interrupted her thoughts. Gloria looked up to spy Frieda walking out of the greenhouse.

"Hardly," Gloria scoffed as she walked closer to the older woman, "if I wake up tomorrow and can't remember anything about this place, I'll be a very happy lady."

"I think you'll be a happy lady either way," Freida told her, "you're free."

"Almost," Gloria replied. She crossed her arms across her chest and gently kicked the garden fence.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised to see you out here all by yourself." Frieda commented, "don't you need to say goodbye to people and pack things before they call you?"

"Well, all my people are on the outside waiting for me," Gloria replied, "and I'm hiding from everybody else. I don't want any fuss. I just want to get out of here as fast as I can."

"Can't find fault with that," Frieda chuckled, "and the garden is a pretty good spot if you're looking for some time to yourself."

A mischievous smile played on Gloria's lips.

"It certainly is," she replied. Frieda shook her head in puzzlement and then pulled a pair of dirty gardening gloves out of her sweater pockets and slid them over her hands.

"So, what are you working on today?" Gloria asked conversationally.

"I'm going to work on the roses," Frieda replied.

"Red planted those ones," Gloria said quietly, her eyes focused upon the deep red petals of one.

"I suppose she did," Frieda replied, "how is she doing, anyway?"

"She's fine," Gloria said softly, "she's picking me up today."

"How nice," said Frieda, as she walked over to the roses and knelt down in the rich soil. Gloria considered leaving Frieda to her task and continuing on her solitary walk, but decided she'd prefer a little company right now. She stepped inside the garden and walked over to admire the roses that were so beautifully maintained.

"I never had much of a green thumb," she said, "the school would always send my kids home with a seed in a cup of soil for Mother's Day. Sometimes we'd get a stem to sprout but it never turned into a flower."

She smiled as she stroked the petals with a gentle finger, "now, I could tell you at least five different ways this flower could be used for healing purposes."

"Are you a naturopath?" asked Frieda.

"My aunt is a Santeria," Gloria replied, "she taught me everything I know."

"Well, I don't begin to understand what a 'Santeria' is supposed to be," Frieda replied, "but I can definitely get behind knowing how to use nature to benefit yourself. My father taught me to be a survivalist. Most people can't look past how pretty a flower is. They wouldn't know how to use it."

"Sometimes it being pretty is enough, though," Gloria replied.

"Here," Frieda said, holding out the pair of scissors she was using.

"What?" blinked Gloria.

"The way you're admiring that flower so much you may as well take it with you," Frieda told her, "consider it a going away present."

"Alright," Gloria shrugged, accepting the scissors and cutting the single red rose free. She brought it to her nose and inhaled the flowery scent, which helped her relax.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"You're welcome," Frieda replied simply.

"Do you want some help with anything?" Gloria asked a moment later as she watched Frieda bustling about the garden silently.

"About to walk out of this place and now you decide you'd like to join the gardening club?" Frieda asked.

"Well, I just could use something to do to make the time go a little quicker," Gloria admitted, "I'm getting antsy."

"Are you nervous?" asked Frieda.

"Not as much as I should be," Gloria replied. "I have two teenage sons to go home to, and the youngest in particular can be quite the handful. But, mainly I'm just excited."

"I think you'll be fine," Frieda replied, "you're still young enough that it won't be too big of a culture shock. Me? I don't think I'd know what to do with myself out there."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about you," Gloria told her, "you're a born survivor. Tougher than anyone else in here."

Frieda scoffed but looked pleased at the compliment.

"Is there ever a chance?" Gloria asked hesitantly.

"Chance of what?" asked Frieda.

"Of you getting out," Gloria clarified, "you've got good behaviour."

"And five murder convictions," Frieda replied, "at least, I think it is five. I can't remember if I got caught for that one." She frowned and held out her gloved hand as she used her fingers to count. Gloria almost could have laughed at the absurdity of having trouble keeping track of every person you had killed and been prosecuted for.

"Four, five, doesn't matter," Frieda shrugged good-humouredly, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry to here that," said Gloria, scratching at one of the roses thorns with her finger nail.

"Doesn't matter," said Frieda, "I don't have kids out there or anybody waiting for me. I'm probably better off in here. I'm content."

" _Mendoza, report to processing,"_ a voice called over the loudspeaker.

"I've got to go," Gloria said.

"Hurry, before you piss them off," Frieda smiled sadly, "get out of here."

"I'll write you," Gloria said, not knowing if what she said was true. She just felt terrible realizing that Frieda would never get to go home. Litchfield was the only life she had.

"Good luck," Frieda said.

"Thanks for the rose," Gloria said, turning on her heel and hurrying back towards the building as quickly as she could.

She walked briskly as she still needed to grab the small bag of belongings that she was planning to take with her. Mainly just photographs, letters from Lourdes, letters from Red, and things her boys had sent her over the years. Most of them were dated for the first few years of her incarceration when they had been little boys. Everything else was staying behind. She had donated all of the books to the library and given most of her belongings to friends in her dorm.

As Gloria reached her bed, her fingers clasped around Red's old blanket and she squeezed it to herself while she questioned whether or not to take it. With her other hand, she picked up her bag and turned to exit the dorm. She paused midway down the aisle and dropped the blanket onto the vacant bunk of one of the newcomers to Spanish Harlem. It was a younger girl named Martina, who had started working in the kitchen. Gloria had said goodbye to her, and everybody else she had associated with, the night before. She didn't really feel like seeing anybody right now. Talking to them would only make her feel even more guilty about getting released when they, like Frieda, had to stay behind. It wasn't her fault, but Gloria felt bad about it nonetheless.

"Your last day and we still can't even get a smile out of you?" Caputo called as he passed her in the hallway, carrying a mug of coffee. Gloria was waiting impatiently in the hall for a guard to begin processing her out. She had expected to be reprimanded for taking too long to get there, but they hadn't been ready for her anyway.

"There's nobody in here I feel like smiling at," Gloria scoffed, "I think I'll save it."

"Good luck, Mendoza," Caputo said kindly, halting in his step for a moment as he addressed her, "I hope you have a good life. You'll be missed."

"Thank you," Gloria nodded, but didn't really know what else to say.

"Take care," Caputo said awkwardly, before continuing his trek down the hallway.

Gloria waited another minute for a guard to call her in for discharging. She signed all of the paperwork and followed all their instructions precisely and impatiently. She was just so eager to be done and out of this place. The guards had gone through her belongings to approve what was being taken out and had issued her some jeans, a gray t-shirt, and sneakers to wear. The shoes fit, but the clothes were much too large for her and her figure was completely hidden.

Gloria had not taken more than two steps out of the building when she was engulfed in a strong embrace. The bag she had been carrying dropped to the ground as Gloria reciprocated the hug, pulling her as close as she could, while angling her head as she buried her face in Red's hair. After approximately thirty seconds, the limit imposed upon hugs in the visitation room, Gloria instinctively began to pull away.

"You don't have to stop," Red said huskily, "we don't ever have to stop." She pulled Gloria closer once again. Gloria's legs were shaky with anxious emotion and she let out an involuntary giggle before bestowing a kiss high on Red's cheekbone.

"I forgot," Gloria whispered, and Red could detect the smile that had been saved just for her. Gloria began trailing kisses down Red's cheek slowly until she finally reached her mouth. Red's lips automatically parted and Gloria ran her tongue across the inside of her bottom lip gently until she got the urge to friskily bite down. She giggled as she released her, only to meet her lips strongly once again. Swaying on the spot, Gloria wrapped her arms around Red's neck and leaned even closer into the kiss.

"I love you," Gloria said breathlessly, pulling back.

"I love you, too," Red said quietly, smiling as she ran her thumb back and forth against Gloria's warm cheek.

"Let's get you in the car, hmm?" Red murmured, "I want to take you far away from here."


	2. Chapter 2

The trip back to Queens was over far too quickly. Gloria turned on the radio and rolled down the windows to invite in the warm summer breeze. She rested her hand on Red's thigh and could not resist continually leaning over to kiss her cheek or collar bone. Gloria loved the little smile that played on the rouge lips when she did so and thought Red had never looked more beautiful. Both women had the tendency to sometimes be too serious, but together they laughed, teased, and played. They stopped for ice-cream at a road-stop and then stopped a second time just because they saw a pretty park that seemed like it would be an enjoyable walk. Neither was in too big of a hurry to get back. With Gloria's two sons to consider, it remained to be see how much time they would get alone to do things like this.

As the city came into view, Gloria sat up straighter and tapped her foot nervously against the floor of the car. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and she had never appreciated it more. Despite all the new buildings that had appeared during her absence, she was relieved to see that much remained the same. It was something she took great comfort in.

"There's the park I used to take the boys to play at!" Gloria said, shaking Red's arm excitedly, "although it's definitely gotten an upgrade since then." She craned her head every which way to take in all the sights of her old neighbourhood. Red smiled as Gloria shared all the memories that came to mind as they drove through town.

"So, where am I taking you?" asked Red, "do you want to come to my place? Or maybe go to Lourdes' to get settled in?" There was a slight edge in her tone that made it clear she still was upset about their living situations. She had just gotten Gloria back, and the last thing she wanted to do today was leave her. Saying goodbye was going to be excruciating.

"I want to see Julio and Benny," Gloria said honestly, squeezing Red's arm tighter, "I can't wait any longer."

"They're at school," Red reminder her, "it's Monday." She glanced over at Gloria through the corner of her eye and pursed her lips at the look of disappointment that had appeared on her face.

"They get an hour at noon for lunch," Red said, inwardly beating down the selfish part of her who wanted Gloria to herself for a few more hours, "and it's almost that time now. Do you want me to take you to the school?"

Gloria nodded, "maybe we could all go out to lunch."

"You want me to go too?" asked Red in surprise, turning down the road that led to Julio and Benny's high school.

"No, you can wait in the car," Gloria said sarcastically. She gave Red a piercing stare and ran her palm soothingly up and down her thigh.

"You know I hated it when you would excuse yourself midway through visitation," Gloria said quietly, "I wanted you with me." She felt the need to speak up and to address the distance that had become an obvious strain on everybody. Julio and Red were still incredibly close, but it seemed to her that Red had just about given up on trying to right things with Benny. Gloria wasn't about to let her get away with that.

"It's been so uncomfortable with Benny that I figured it would be easier if I just kept some distance," Red said. The muscles in her thigh twitched spontaneously, and Gloria began to scratch lightly over the fabric of her skirt.

"Maybe sometimes," Gloria reasoned, "but avoidance won't help anything".

"You say things like this but then you insist living with me would be a huge mistake," Red said, almost to herself, as she parked the car. Pulling out her phone, she sent a quick message to Julio.

"Not upsetting the boys living situation during this time of transition is not avoiding you," Gloria said patiently, "haven't you accepted that yet?" She reached for Red's hand and entwined their fingers. Red turned her head to stare out the window.

"Julio stops by your place several times a week," Gloria said, "same as Benny did before _you_ made the choice to not turn up for him."

"How many times can a person apologize for one night?" Red said, whirling her head around to look at her, "it was one mistake, after doing about a million good things for that boy."

"I know that and so does Benny," Gloria said, rubbing their joined hands back and forth over Red's thigh, "my point was that we can all spend time together and be close without living under the same roof."

"There isn't even any room for you at Lourdes'," Red pointed out, "you're going to have to sleep on the floor."

"I'll sleep on the couch," Gloria replied, they had been through this several times already, "it's going to be fine."

"Whatever you want," Red said tightly.

"I think it's best," said Gloria, "and I need you to respect my decisions as a mother. We can't keep going around in circles about all of this. It's only making me doubt myself."

Red looked taken-a-back, "well, that's the last thing I want to do."

"I know," Gloria said quietly. She stiffened in her seat as she spotted her two sons walking across the law towards the waiting car. She lifted Red's hand towards her mouth for a kiss before letting go.

"There they are!" she said excitedly. She quickly unfastened her seat belt and jumped out of the car. Julio and Benny spotted her standing there and picked up the pace of their walking

"Hey, mom," Julio said, laughing a bit nervously as Gloria pulled him into a big hug. Benny stood watching them with his hands in his pockets and an unreadable expression on his face. When Gloria turned to embrace him however, he moved back a step.

"Mom, not at school," he protested.

"Oh, you're going to be like that, huh?" Gloria retorted, dabbing at her eye with the sleeve from her baggy t-shirt.

"you're going to make a scene," Benny told her, "don't embarrass me."

Julio rolled his eyes at his brother's antics and glanced at the car where Red was waiting. She was staring determinedly down at her phone and feeling like something of an intruder for witnessing such a reunion. Julio opened the rear door of the car and slid into the seat behind her. Despite confronting her about breaking her word to Benny, he knew people made mistakes and he forgave her.

"Hi, Galina," he said politely, "isn't this a great day?"

"The best day," Red replied, turning around in her seat to smile at him, "we just happened to get back at the same time you boys were going to be having your lunch break. Your mom wanted to surprise you."

"I'm glad she did," Julio replied, "this day was going so slow with waiting."

"I'll bet," said Red.

"Are we going to get something to eat?" Julio asked, "I'm starved."

"Of course, where would you like to go?" Red asked, just as Gloria and Benny joined them in the car.

"Mom, is out of control, Julio," Benny said loudly.

"What did she do?" asked Julio in amusement.

"Is it too much to ask that I get a hug from my son?" Gloria asked, as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Alright, fine," Benny relented, "I'll forgive you for the hug. But did you have to kiss me?"

"You used to kiss me all the time," Gloria told him, turning around in her seat to look back at him.

"Yeah, when I was a little kid," Benny scoffed.

"Julio and I were just trying to decide where we were going to eat," Red said, peering at him through the rear-view mirror, "what would you like, Benny?"

"I dunno," Benny shrugged noncommittally. Gloria raised her eyebrows expectantly at him.

"Casa Adela?" she suggested, "is that still open? We used to like going there."

"Sounds good, mom," said Julio brightly, "we still go there sometimes." Lourdes had actually taken him and Benny there for his birthday last year.

"Great," said Gloria, "how about you, Benny?"

"Sure," said Benny skeptically.

"Well, someone is going to have to tell me how to get there," Red said, as she started the car, "that's not the sort of place I usually go to."

"Get used to it," Gloria smiled at her. It was a Puerto Rican restaurant that she and her family used to patron quite frequently in the past. Julio leaned forward in his seat to direct Red on where to go.

"We should have just traded places," Julio told her "I could use more practice driving the city streets."

"You can drive back to the school," Red told him. Julio had gotten his license a few months ago and Red usually allowed him to drive when they were together. He had gotten a fair bit of highway driving practice going back and forth to visit his mom in prison.

"I still can't get over you being old enough to drive a car," Gloria shook her head.

"And he's a very good driver too," Red added proudly.

"I've only feared for my life twice," Benny said, "which is nothing compared to what happens when I'm in a car with Tia Lourdes, Mom. I seriously think she might be getting too old to drive."

"No, she's always driven like that," Gloria said smoothly, "I used to pray a couple of hail Mary's before getting in the car with her. Who do you think gave her all those St. Christopher medals? Patron saint of travellers."

"You believe in that?" Red glanced at her through the corner of her eye.

"We're all still alive," Gloria said matter-of-factly.

The restaurant they had selected was casual and nearly empty when they walked in. Despite his reluctance to hug her outside his school, Benny walked very close to his mother's side as the server took them to their seats.

"Sit beside me," Benny said to her, as he slid into the booth. Gloria did as he asked.

"I just realized," Gloria said hesitantly, biting her bottom lip as she stared across the table at Red, "all I have is twenty dollars on me. I have a little money in the bank, but I need to borrow until—"

"This is on me," Red interrupted, speaking barely above a whisper, "don't say another word about that." Gloria's face flushed with relief as she accepted the menu that the server handed her. Silence fell across the table as they all decided what to order.

"Well, I guess I can't go wrong with chicken," Red said. She had put her glasses on and been staring at the entrée selection blankly for awhile.

She looked up at Julio, "they don't do anything in this place to make it too spicy, do they?"

"I think you'll be okay," Julio smiled.

"I want that," Benny said, leaning over Gloria's shoulder and pointing at his selection.

"Okay," Gloria murmured.

"And a root beer to drink," he added.

"Why are you telling me?" asked Gloria, "you're a big boy. You can order for yourself."

"I don't like to talk to strangers," Benny replied.

"That's true, mom," Julio jumped in, "usually he makes me give his order to the waiter."

"Alright," Gloria relented, and when their server came back she ordered food for both Benny and herself. She tried not to show how peculiar she considered her outspoken son not wanting to order his own food at a restaurant to be. She would have just brushed it off as him being goofy with her right now, but learning that Julio was in the habit of handling such basic tasks for his younger brother concerned her a little.

However, odd behaviour aside, it made Gloria realize that she didn't really know any of the little things about her children. She knew about their news, but nothing much about their quirks. The ones she remembered from when they had been eight and nine might even have been outgrown. She really needed to take the time to get to know them again. Yet, at the same time, they were her sons and she felt she instinctively knew enough for now.

Their lunch was comfortable. Benny didn't say much but ate his food quietly at the table while he slumped against his mom. Gloria focused most of her attention upon Julio. He talked willingly with them all, and Gloria enjoying seeing how close he and Red obviously were. She had known that already, but there was something different about getting to see her family in natural settings, rather than in a prison visitation room.

All efforts to engage Benny in the conversation were futile. Most of his replies to any questions directed at him were shoulder shrugs, but he did not object as his mom rubbed soothing circles on his back. The last time Gloria had been able to touch him for more thirty-seconds had been when he was eight years old. Benny hadn't realized until now how much he had missed it.

"I guess we better be getting you guys back to school," Gloria said, a half an hour later after they had all finished eating the dessert Red had insisted they order.

"Seriously?" Benny groaned.

"Yeah, I think you should let us skip this afternoon so we can all spend more time together," Julio said, turning to Red.

"You only have two more weeks left," Red pointed out.

"Exactly," said Julio, "they aren't going to teach anything new."

"But you have exams coming up so you shouldn't miss the review," Red said knowledgeably, taking a sip of her coffee. She was very well informed about the school schedule and what was going on with the boys. Julio spent a lot of time with her and regularly asked her to read through his assignments before he handed them in. Red really enjoyed that level of trust and comfortability he expressed. It reminded her of helping her own sons with their homework when they had been in school.

Julio frowned but gave up the argument. Gloria had watched the exchange between them curiously. There was such a level of respect there, although she wasn't sure whether it bothered her or not that her son looked to Red for permission instead of her. She supposed it was only natural. Red was very present in his life and Gloria was just really coming back into it now. It would probably take awhile before he instinctively turned to her that same way. It was an adjustment for all of them.

"Mom, you should just let us skip," Benny said, still leaning lazily against her as he wiped his fingers with a serviette.

"Should I?" said Gloria, as she took a sip from her water glass.

"I haven't hung out with you in a long time," Benny pointed out.

"Yeah, but we'll have lots of opportunity for that now," Gloria said, "so I don't think missing an afternoon of school is necessary. I'll be there as soon as you get out and we can walk home together." Benny glanced over at Red for a brief second.

"Are you going to come just by yourself?" he asked, turning back to look at his mother. Nobody could mistake the hopefulness in his tone. It was obvious that he didn't want Red there. It wasn't unreasonable for him to want time alone with his mom, but Gloria had already reassured him several times over the phone that they would spend lots of time alone together. Making it obvious that Red wasn't welcome was not necessary.

"Yes, Benny," Gloria said, pinching his arm warningly, "I'll come by myself."

"Ow," Benny scowled, rubbing his arm as he glanced up at his mother's reproving stare.

"Why don't you go bring the car around to the door?" Red said to Julio, handing him her car keys, "I'll pay and we'll meet you out there." She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and determinedly did not look over at Benny or give any inclination that his rejection bothered her. It upset her that he could become so dismissive because of one broken promise, when she had kept so many others. She knew he had been let down in the past and this overreaction was probably rooted in something much deeper than just her. However, that didn't make it much easier to deal with the contempt in the moment.

"Okay," Julio agreed, eagerly taking the keys. Although he could now drive alone, he hadn't had very many chances to do so. Red usually drove with him when he took hers and Lourdes' car was currently in the shop. Vasily, a mechanic by trade, was doing the labour for free and had even managed to order the replacement parts at a discount for her though. Lourdes had been very grateful.

Julio was annoyed at Benny for bringing tension into what had been a pleasant lunch. Although he understood what his brother was feeling better than anybody else possibly could, he wished that he would give Galina a second chance. He had been nervous about what it would be like to spend time with her and his mom together, but was grateful that they were keeping enough distance between them so that nobody would feel uncomfortable.

"You're a good driver," Gloria said, as she gave him a quick hug after he had taken them back to the school. Red had returned to the driver's seat and was waiting patiently while they said goodbye.

"Why, because we didn't crash?" Julio teased his mom, "did you remember to say a Hail Mary?"

"I didn't," Gloria smiled, "so I guess that means you're just that skilled. Who taught you? Certainly not Lourdes."

"I took Driver's Ed," Julio replied, "and Galina's son, Max, took me out a couple of times to practice before my road test."

"Oh, that's nice," Gloria said, "I like him." She turned to look at Benny who was leaning against a tree waiting for her to acknowledge him.

"Do I get a hug goodbye?" she asked him.

"Fine," Benny sighed, dragging his feet as he walked back over to her.

"Have a good afternoon," Gloria told him, "I'll be back at three-thirty."

"Don't be late," Benny said, "it gets hot waiting outside."

Gloria re-joined Red in the car and immediately took her hand in hers. She suggested they go back to Red's place to relax for a little while.

"Is Nicky going to be home?" Gloria asked.

"I don't think so," Red mused, "she doesn't work until six o'clock today, but she's probably over at Lorna's." The two of them had been nearly inseparable ever since Piper and Alex's wedding.

"I'm looking forward to seeing her, but I mostly am just glad to have some time alone with you," Gloria admitted with a wry grin. Red blushed slightly under her stare and steered the car onto the street where her apartment was located.

"Yuri lives there," Red said, pointing a red polished finger at the apartment building where her oldest son lived, "and I'm only about a twenty-minute walk from Lourdes'."

They pulled up to the apartment where Red lived with Nicky. Hand in hand they walked up the steps to the front door. Red's dog was waiting to eagerly greet them. Gloria held out a hand which he sniffed approvingly. Then she walked inside, kicking off her sneakers in the entry.

She smiled as she walked around the apartment taking everything in. The place was spotless, comfortable, and simply decorated. Photographs of Red's children and grandchildren were on the wall, a tall bookshelf sat against one wall, and the throw blanket tossed over the side of the couch made the place look warm and inviting. It was small and beautiful. Almost exactly how Gloria had imagined the place where Red lived to look.

"It's obvious that Nicky isn't home," she observed, "the place is too clean."

"Go look in her bedroom," Red rolled her eyes, "I make her leave the door shut so I don't have an anxiety attack whenever I walk down the hall."

"Mhmm," Gloria murmured. She took Red by the hand and pulled her down the hall towards her bedroom. It was directly across from Nicky's, which Gloria identified by the closed door.

Red's room was as warm and orderly as the living room and kitchen had been. Gloria's heart fluttered when she saw the lavender coloured bedspread. She knew instantly that it must have been chosen with her in mind. That was her favourite colour, a detail Red would have remembered because she was thoughtful like that. Gloria looked slowly around the room taking careful note of the double dresser and the matching nightstands on either side of the bed. This room had clearly been put together under the assumption that two people would be sharing it.

"This feels like home," Gloria whispered, leaning back as Red wrapped her arms around her from behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Gloria leaned against a tree with her arms crossed and attempted to stifle a yawn. She looked down at the black leggings she was wearing, paired with a long flowy blue shirt, and was pleased with what she saw. It was amazing how much normal clothing, even clothes that didn't belong to her, could make her feel like a person again. She felt like an ordinary mom just waiting for her kids to get out of school and couldn't stop worrying that she would soon wake up at Litchfield and realize that this was only a dream. She had been garbed in prison scrubs and talking to a convicted killer with a life sentence only that morning. Now she was out in the real world jumping straight back into the life she had left behind. What a difference a few hours could make.

All things considered, she was very glad that they had taken the boys back to school and had gotten a little more time alone together. Gloria had needed a chance to unwind and process the multitude of changes she was encountering. Interacting with her sons was making her feel like the pieces of her broken heart were finally being mended, but she also felt wholly unprepared. There was so much to anticipate, so much to regret, and so much to learn. It was mentally exhausting her. Fortunately, Gloria was with somebody who seemed to have an innate understanding of what she needed, even though Gloria could not help but meet Red's efforts with resistance—she wasn't used to being taken care of. But Red had drawn her a bath anyway, and relaxing in it had made Gloria feel as deliciously pampered as though she were at some fancy spa. She felt blessed.

After her bath, Gloria had wandered naked back into Red's bedroom to rummage through her closet for something to wear. Their styles and sizes might be different, but anything would be better than what she had worn home from prison and refused to put back on. Gloria didn't think she would ever be inclined to wear gray or beige again, and had been annoyed that the majority of Red's wardrobe was black. She had found the pair of leggings folded neatly in a dresser drawer with the tags still attached. Lida must have picked them out and Red had just never gotten around to returning them. They suited Gloria's purposes now though, and she selected a shirt and a pair of black flats to go with. It was quite convenient that they both wore a size eight shoe.

When Red had come to find her a few minutes later, she discovered Gloria curled up beneath the bed covers fast asleep. It was such an emotionally taxing day and she couldn't have kept her eyes open for another moment. She hadn't even been able to summon enough energy to dress after the hassle of picking out her outfit. The clothes and shoes she had selected were sat on the edge of the bed.

Red was just glad to see Gloria getting some rest. She still had just over an hour before school got out. She made sure to set an alarm on her phone so that Gloria would not oversleep and be late picking up the boys. Then, taking great care not to disturb her, Red had laid down in the bed as well. She loved the way Gloria had instinctively moved closer to her in sleep.

Being rudely awoken by an alarm and realizing that it was time for her to leave had been difficult. Gloria could not remember the last time she had ever felt so safe and she wasn't feeling ready to give up this comfort that she needed. It had been a relief when Red had offered to walk to the school with her, reasoning that she needed to walk the dog anyway. Neither had felt quite ready to say goodbye and Gloria really appreciated the level of caring she was receiving that continually reminded her that she at least had one person in this world who was completely on her side. She was too embarrassed to voice aloud that she was a little nervous to face her aunt and see what her place was going to be in the family. Yes, she was Julio and Benny's mother, but Lourdes had been their constant and the person raising them for the past eight years. Gloria wasn't exactly sure how she was going to fit.

"That was a complete waste of time," Benny complained, as he walked up to his mother with a blue backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Do you have a lot of homework?" Gloria asked, "that bag looks pretty full."

"I'm going to have back problems when I'm older, thanks to this place," Benny complained, "the number of books they expect me to carry!"

"Maybe your back wouldn't hurt if you didn't have your bag just slung over one shoulder," Gloria suggested, "they give you two straps for a reason. Evens out the weight."

"Yeah, yeah," Benny grumbled. He dropped the bag onto the grass with a thump, and then sat down beside it.

"So, Julio isn't here yet," he stated unnecessarily, wiggling over a bit so that he could casually lean back against Gloria's legs.

"Well, you are among one of the first kids out of there," Gloria reasoned, looking down at him, "you must have been running in the halls."

"I did not!" Benny protested, "I just brought my backpack to my last class so that I wouldn't need to walk all the way to my locker when the bell rang."

"There's your brother," Gloria pointed towards the front doors that Julio had just emerged from. He was walking with a group of other kids, but when he spotted his mom and brother he said goodbye and hurried over to join them.

"Hey mom," Julio said, as he reached them, "sorry to keep you waiting."

"That's alright," Gloria said, as she reached out to squeeze his arm. Benny clamoured to his feet and swung his backpack over a single shoulder, despite his mom's advice. They began walking in the direction of the apartment they had lived in ever since they had returned from Florida.

Before Gloria's incarceration, she and her sons had lived in an apartment above the convenient store that she had managed. Her boyfriend, Arturo, had often hung around and spent the night. Lourdes had lived in a small one-bedroom pad in the same neighbourhood and frequently joined them for dinner. After she had been arrested, the boys had moved in with Lourdes. She had given them her bedroom, while she slept on the couch. After about a year of this arrangement, Lourdes had moved them to Florida where she had cousins willing to help out.

Gloria had been heartbroken that they were moving across the country and would not be able to visit her. Lourdes had thought the change of scenery and being around family would be good for the boys. She herself was still trying to overcome the shock that Gloria was in prison at all. Whatever fraud she had committed, Lourdes had truly never believed that they would lock up a mother and keep her from her children. In her naiveite, Lourdes had never expected her niece to get more than community service.

Gloria was really glad to be getting this glimpse into her sons' day to day lives as she walked home with them. It was probably the only chance she would get to do this. They were teenagers after all, and more than capable of getting to school and back by themselves, but she was glad they humoured her a little bit on this first day. She listened as they complained about teachers and assignments, and wondered what else they normally talked about on these walks. She was curious if the two of them ever discussed her or whether they generally had avoided the subject of having a mother in prison.

They reached the plain five-story building and walked up the stairwell that led to their unit. Julio took out his key and opened the door to the small entryway that they all crowded into. After they had removed their shoes and placed them on the mat, the boys gave her a tour of their home. There was a narrow hall that turned off into separate rooms for the kitchen and living room. Julio and Benny shared a bedroom off the living room that consisted of two twin beds and a dresser jammed between them.

"They could be made into bunk beds so that there would be more floor space," Julio reasoned, "but we couldn't decide who would sleep on the top so we took them apart."

Gloria peered into her aunt's room which was the smaller of the two and didn't have a closet. She felt the same familiar pang in her stomach that she always got when faced with a reminder of just how much her aunt had sacrificed for her. Lourdes worked full-time to provide for the two great-nephews Gloria had left in her care and she was nearing her seventieth birthday. She simply hadn't been able to afford to retire. Gloria knew that one of the first things on her to-do list needed to be finding a job so that Lourdes could finally quit hers.

"What time does Tia get home?" asked Gloria, wandering back into the kitchen where the boys were fixing themselves a snack.

"Usually around seven," said Julio, "but she said she'd try to get home earlier tonight if she can."

"Well that gives us plenty of time to have supper ready before she gets here," Gloria said brightly, "so, Benny, put that bag of chips away."

"Oh, come on," Benny complained, his mouth full of chips.

"I mean it guys," Gloria said, "Julio, stop making that sandwich. Let's have something you haven't had in awhile."

"Like what?" Julio asked curiously, obediently replacing the lid on the container of peanut butter and putting his bread away. Benny snuck another handful of chips before he returned the bag to its cupboard.

"What would you like?" Gloria asked, "maybe something I used to make for you before?" She was eager to be useful and step right in to doing the things she had done for them in the past. Something that would make her feel like a regular mother.

" _Arroz Con Gandules_?" Benny suggested, naming a rice dish that had been one of the few things she could get him to eat when he had been little. Benny had always been very particular about his food.

"Sure," Gloria agreed. She started rummaging through the fridge and the cupboards to see what ingredients she had on hand and what she needed to send one of the boys across the street to the store for.

Gloria hadn't wanted to initially accept it, but she had been grateful when Red had slipped her a few twenty-dollar bills before she let her leave that afternoon. Red had said not to be stubborn about it—quite a stretch coming from her, but she understood what it was like to get out of prison and need to completely start over. However, unlike Gloria, Red had been blessed with three grown sons who had stayed by her side constantly checking to see if she was okay, a daughter-in-law who had made sure she had everything she needed, and a little bit of financial security.

Surprisingly, Dmitri had chosen not to remove her as his beneficiary on his life insurance policy after their divorce had been finalized. Despite seeming to have no qualms about cheating and lying to her for years, Dmitri did seem to have some loyalty to the woman he had married and who was the mother of his children. Yuri had handled his father's affairs after he died and had told his mother that Dmitri had left her most of what he had, and had said to tell her he was 'sorry it wasn't more'." Red supposed that this had been Dmitri's way of trying to dismantle his guilt about being directly responsible for much of what had happened to her, but she had appreciated the help. It was only natural for her to want to help make Gloria's transition into the real world go as smoothly as possible.

Gloria had been looking inside the fridge for ingredients and nearly tripped over Benny when she turned around. He had been standing almost directly behind her without any clear motive. He just seemed to have decided to become her shadow.

"Benny, run down to the store for me, will you?" Gloria asked, holding out a twenty-dollar bill to him.

"Can't Julio go?" Benny asked, as his brother wandered back into the kitchen to join them.

"Can't you go?" Gloria replied, leaning against the closed refrigerator door.

"I want to hang out with you," Benny said, hoisting himself up onto the kitchen counter, "Julio, will go. He doesn't mind."

"Yeah, I don't," Julio said agreeably, taking the money from his mother's hand.

"I need a red pepper and some mushrooms," Gloria told him, "thanks, baby."

"Get your ass off the counter," she then scolded Benny, lightly slapping his leg. Benny slid back to the ground and moved over to a chair at the table. He silently watched as Gloria filled a pot with water to boil for their rice and then laid the cutting board next to him on the table. She went to retrieve the pork she had found in the fridge, and began slicing it into small pieces.

"You okay, _papi_?" Gloria asked.

"Yeah…." said Benny awkwardly, resting his head in his hands.

"It's been a strange day," Gloria said tentatively, trying to see if he would open up now that it was just them. He was such a peculiar child. So often surly, headstrong, and withdrawn, but at the same time was refusing to let her out of his sight. It was obvious how much he wanted her close, which was a relief after enduring so much silence from him over the years when he'd refuse to visit or take her phone calls. It also hadn't escaped her notice that he even seemed a little possessive at the moment, and slightly reluctant to share her with his brother. He had needed her for so long and been forced to go without. It broke Gloria's heart.

"Not really," Benny replied, lowering his head to the table.

"No?" Gloria asked, sounding surprised. She paused momentarily in her cutting to look over at him.

"It's been strange for years," Benny explained, "a mom is supposed to be around doing these things. Today is the first normal day in like forever."

"You're right," Gloria agreed, feeling like her heart was in her throat, "it's time things get back to normal around here." Benny nodded slowly in agreement. Gloria turned back to her cutting and silence resumed.

"Why don't you go pour the rice into the pot for me," she said a few minutes later, "the water is boiling."

Benny did as she said without argument and then knowledgeably turned down the burner without needing to be told. Once his task was complete he went back to sit at the table. Julio returned with the vegetables his mom had asked for and placed her change respectfully on the kitchen counter.

"Tia texted me to ask how you were," Julio told her, "she says she'll be home pretty soon." He hesitated for a brief second and then walked over to rest his chin on his mom's shoulder for a moment. Gloria tilted her head so that it fell against his.

"Great," she replied, "we'll all be able to sit down and eat together."

"Like a real family," grinned Julio, he moved to sit down at the table across from Benny.

"Exactly," Gloria said softly. She walked over to set the pork in a pan on the stove to cook and then went back to the table to begin dicing the vegetables up. Julio opened up his backpack and pulled out a green binder.

"Homework?" Gloria asked him, as casually as if this normalcy was typical for them. In actuality, everything about this simple evening felt like a special occasion.

"My history teacher gave us a practice exam," Julio said, holding it up to show her, "I don't have to do it, but figured I'd try and see how many questions I could answer without looking in the book."

"That's good," said Gloria, "I could quiz you after dinner, if you want?"

"Yeah, thanks" Julio smiled.

"I can't believe that you're graduating from high school in a couple of weeks," Gloria said, as she went to add her diced up vegetables to the rice. The pork was cooked so she stirred that into the pot of rice as well. Everything was pretty much done.

She heard a key in the door that announced Lourdes arrival. Gloria quickly hurried into the hall to greet her.

"Look who's here!" Lourdes said jovially. She smiled tiredly up at her niece as they embraced.

"Thank God this nightmare is finally over," Lourdes breathed, patting Gloria on the back, "what time did you get here?"

"The same time as the boys, I met them at the school," Gloria replied.

"I have a key to the apartment made for you," said Lourdes, "don't let me forget." She turned to hang her purse on the hook. Then yawned loudly and sat down on the bench to remove her shoes.

"It really is good to see you," Lourdes said, getting back to her feet and reaching up to pat Gloria's cheek. Gloria nodded as she swallowed the lump that had begun to form in her throat. Lourdes smiled understandingly and walked into the kitchen.

"Something smells good," she observed. She went over to the stove and lifted the lid on the pot to examine her cooking.

" _Arroz Con Gandules_ ," Lourdes murmured in approval, "we haven't had that it quite awhile. It looks done to me, _Florescita_."

"I think so," Gloria agreed, feeling a warmth spread through her at the sound of the pet name her aunt used to address her by all the time. Lourdes continued to stir the rice in the pot.

"Tia, let me finish up there," Gloria spoke up, "why don't you just sit down and relax for a little while? You've had a long day."

"I think I've forgotten how to do that," Lourdes said, but she stepped away from the stove and sat down heavily into a chair between her two great-nephews.

"Julio, get these books off of the table since we're about to eat," Lourdes instructed him, "and Benny, you can set the table," she added.

Benny slowly got to his feet and went over to the cupboard above the sink where the plates and glasses were. Julio shoved his books back into his backpack and took it out of the kitchen.

"I guess you boys are pretty happy to have your mother back," Lourdes said, when Julio had returned. Benny brought the plates, glasses, and silverware to the table in one trip and set four places. Gloria came over with the pot of rice and served her aunt first.

" _Gracias_ , Gloria," said Lourdes.

" _De Nada_ ," Gloria replied, and then she dished out some on both of her sons' plates before serving herself.

Gloria's first dinner home was pleasant and uneventful. Although Lourdes seemed very tired, she went out of her way to make Gloria feel welcome. She complimented her cooking and said at least three more times how good it was to finally have her there. She had been very missed. When the meal was finished, Gloria told Julio to help her do the dishes and then she could quiz him for his history exam.

"What about you, Benny?" Lourdes asked him. He was standing next to his mom by the sink while she washed and Julio dried. Occasionally he would hand her one of the dirty dishes that were already well within her reach, just to feel like he was contributing in some way. Really, he just wanted to be close to his mom, although he would deny it if anybody asked.

"What about me?" Benny said back.

"Don't you have homework you should be doing?" Lourdes asked, "and don't lie to me by saying you don't have any or I'll call your teacher and ask." Gloria could feel Benny stiffen defensively next to her.

"We're just supposed to study for exams," said Benny, "but they aren't until next week. I've got time."

"Maybe if you didn't save things until the last minute you wouldn't be going to summer school," Lourdes gave him a knowing look. "Which reminds me, have you gotten anymore information about that from your guidance counsellor? You know you're supposed to put it on the fridge so I see it."

Benny shrugged and mumbled something incoherent.

"Come go through your bag with me," Lourdes told him, "right now."

Benny opened his mouth to argue but Gloria nudged him deliberately with her hip, as she continued to wash the dishes. There had been a definite shift in power the moment Lourdes had walked through the doors and Gloria was well aware of it. She remembered what it was like to be in Benny's shoes, when she had been a teenager with Lourdes nagging at her. However, Gloria knew it was necessary to back her aunt up and insist Benny be respectful.

Benny muttered some choice words as he left the room to go retrieve his backpack from the hallway.

"If you're tired, Lourdes, I could do that," Gloria offered.

"No, you can't," Lourdes yawned, "I'm his legal guardian so I'm the one who has to fill out the paperwork and sign things." Benny came back into the room, dragging his backpack across the floor.

"Well, that's going to have to change," Gloria said quietly, reaching for another glass to wash. She could feel her aunt's eyes on her back as she spoke.

"Benny," Lourdes sighed, "why do you insist on packing your bag so full? You can't even shut it the entire way. That's why the strap on your last backpack broke."

"Maybe the bigger question here is why do schools give students more stuff than will fit into a standard size backpack?" Benny said sarcastically. He kneeled on the floor and pulled out a few textbooks and a heavy binder.

"You say you don't plan to do anything today because exams aren't for another week and yet you felt the need to bring all of these books home?" Lourdes said in exasperation, as Benny made a small tower out of them on the floor.

"I needed them for my last class," Benny replied, "and I wasn't going to walk to the other side of the school to put them in my locker."

Lourdes scowled as she pulled out a crumpled up yellow form that had been jammed at the bottom of the bag, along with several candy wrappers, and two half-full water bottles.

"How long has this been in here?" she demanded, unravelling the crumpled paper which was his summer school course registration list.

"I don't know," Benny shrugged, "it is important?"

"You are sixteen years old," Lourdes scolded, "I shouldn't need to look over your shoulder all the time to make sure you're being responsible."

She ran her hand over the sheet attempting to smooth it as much as possible and then reached for a pen. She signed the form that gave her consent for Benny to be enrolled in the summer math and science courses, which he had failed in semester one that past year.

"Make sure you hand that in at school tomorrow," Lourdes said as she passed it back to him.

"I've been doing good in school," Benny said frustratingly, shoving the consent form roughly back into his bag.

"Lately, you have been," Lourdes agreed.

"But you're still making me go?" he said angrily.

"You're going to repeat the courses you failed last semester," Lourdes reminded him, "the courses you're taking now have no bearing on that. You won't need to do anything more for them—provided you pass your exams next week, of course."

"Oh, I'll pass," Benny said irritably. He returned his books to his bag and then wandered off to the living room. A few minutes later they could all here the sound of the television playing.

"Gloria, is it alright with you if I turn in?" Lourdes asked apologetically, "I know it's your first night home, but I'm exhausted. I'm working in the morning too."

"Of course, not," Gloria said, draining the sink while Julio dried his hands on a towel, "I understand." She walked over to give her aunt a kiss on both cheeks.

"Just make sure Benny doesn't stay up too late," Lourdes told her, "he never wants to go to bed and then it's hell getting him to school in the morning. Julio, will tell you."

Gloria finished wiping down the counter and then went to join her sons in the living room. Julio was curled up in the arm chair with his notebook in his lap, though his eyes were fixed on the television that Benny had turned on. Gloria sat down on the couch beside Benny and held out her hand for Julio's notebook.

"Why don't you go get me the stuff for one of your classes, Benny?" Gloria suggested, "I can quiz you both, we'll go back and forth."

"I don't feel like it," Benny said, "I won't be able to concentrate right now anyway. Too much happened today, and I'm not good at school."

"You're good at writing," Gloria said, as she opened Julio's notebook up to the first page, "you got an award for one of your essays a few weeks ago. We all have our strengths."

Benny made a face at what she had said. The story of that night was still a sensitive subject for him and he preferred to block it out. Gloria did not say anything more about it as she began testing Julio on the American Revolution. Benny turned his attention back to the television but moved over to the center of the couch to be closer to his mother. With her eyes focused on Julio while he answered a question, Gloria began running her hand through Benny's thick brown hair. He seemed to enjoy the affection as he leaned back against her and continued to watch his show.

"I think you'll get an A," Gloria told Julio confidently, closing the book once she had finished quizzing him on all of his notes.

"Probably not," said Julio, "but I should pass."

"You only couldn't answer three out of like a hundred things I asked you," Gloria pointed out, "I think you're good, _papi_." She linked her fingers together and stretched her arms out in front of her. She'd have gotten up to stretch too, but Benny was leaning heavily against her and she didn't want him to move.

"Thank God you finished just in time for The Simpsons, Julio," said Benny, "listening to all that history junk was giving me a headache."

"Don't get too comfortable," Gloria warned him, "I'm letting you slack tonight, but tomorrow we're going to work on your school stuff." Benny's response was to grab her hand and place it back on top of his head.

"It felt good," he explained simply, as Gloria resumed playing with his hair.

The three of them stayed up for a few more hours watching television as the sky began to darken. Then Julio excused himself to go take a shower before bed. Benny was still resting against his mother and seemed to be in no hurry to go anywhere. He was being just such a mama's boy and Gloria was overjoyed to finally know for certain that he didn't hate her. He had been keeping in touch and visiting regularly ever since Christmas, but she still had never been entirely sure what he was thinking. There were a lot of wounds there, but it seemed like there was also enough trust to overcome them. She was starting to not worry about him as much.

After giving her some resistance, Benny begrudgingly went to get ready for bed as well. Gloria was sure if she hadn't said anything he would have camped out on the couch with her all night. The idea appealed to her but Lourdes had explicitly said to make sure he went to bed at a reasonable hour, and Gloria was not about to antagonize her aunt after the nice evening they had shared. She made up her bed on the sofa with the blankets and sheets that Lourdes had gotten out for her before going to sleep. When the boys were finished in the bathroom, Gloria went in to brush her teeth and throw on an old night shirt Lourdes had left out for her.

"I just wanted to say goodnight," Gloria said a few minutes later, poking her head inside Julio and Benny's bedroom. Both had already gotten into bed. The room was darkened except for a small night light at the foot of Benny's bed. Gloria glanced at it and realized that it was the same Mickey Mouse one she had turned on for him when he was still a little boy afraid of the dark. Seeing it now confused her, and she wondered if its presence meant that her sixteen-year-old son, who loved pretending to be a tough guy, was still afraid of the dark. She knew better than to ask though.

"Night, mom," said Julio warmly.

"I'll see you in the morning, baby," Gloria said, walking over to his bed and kissing the top of his head, "and I'm so glad I get to say that now."

"To you too," she added, turning around to kiss Benny, "goodnight, _papi_."

"Good night," Benny said quietly.

Gloria went to retrieve her pack of cigarettes and lighter from her bag and then stepped outside to smoke. Despite saying she felt awful for enabling this terrible habit and would prefer not to feel like she was kissing an ashtray, Red had bought her the smokes on her way to Litchfield. Gloria had been saying for weeks on the phone how much she was looking forward to having one. She had been forced to quit when she'd gone to prison, but even after eight years she still enjoyed them as much as ever.

It was time to go to bed. In Litchfield, the lights would have already been turned off hours ago and Gloria's body was begging for sleep. Her mind had other plans though, and was continually replaying everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. She went back into the living room and sat on the couch. Now that everybody was asleep the apartment felt almost too quiet. When you lived in an overcrowded dorm with several women you got used to the presence of other people. Never having any privacy was annoying, but now that she was by herself she just felt lonely.

Gloria flicked on the television to distract herself and contemplated calling Red to say goodnight but decided not to. Speaking to her right now would just make Gloria miss her more. She was fine without her when she busied herself with her sons. It was just now, when they were in bed, and everything was quiet, that Gloria wished she was there to hold her. Their too-short nap that afternoon together had been heavenly. She didn't want to sleep alone. Deciding something, Gloria turned the television off and walked into Lourdes' room.

"Tia, Lourdes, wake up," Gloria whispered, shaking her aunt's arm firmly.

"Gosh, Gloria!" Lourdes jumped as she awoke, "what is it? What's wrong?" She sat up in bed looking alarmed.

"Can I talk to you?" Gloria asked.

"Now?" Lourdes asked in amazement, "that's why you decided to almost give me a heart attack. It can't wait until morning?"

"I didn't want to talk about this in front of the boys," Gloria answered apologetically, "I'm sorry, _Nina_."

"Alright," Lourdes gave in. She sighed and patted the space on the bed beside her, "come here."

"Benny still sleeps with a nightlight?" Gloria stated questioningly, once she was seated cross-legged on the bed next to her aunt.

Lourdes shrugged impatiently, "and?" she prodded.

"And…I find that strange," Gloria continued, "he doesn't like to order his own food at a restaurant either."

"He can be a bit odd," Lourdes agreed, "but it's not like he won't order his food himself. He does it all the time. He's very self-sufficient. It's just, if he finds somebody that will do things for him, he uses that. He likes to be coddled. Or maybe he's just being lazy."

"Julio is so protective of him," Gloria said softly, "I was just wondering if you thought all his little quirks were my fault?"

"Well, I think it's only natural that seeing your mother put into handcuffs and sentenced to prison as a young child would invoke some anxiety," Lourdes said reasonably. "I'm not blaming you, Gloria, but that is probably why."

"I thought he was better now," Gloria said quietly, her shoulders slumped defeatedly.

"He is," Lourdes said, "I'd say not skipping school and breaking things in the apartment every time he gets angry is a definite improvement. He liked spending time with Galina and her family, that seemed to make a difference. Having you home will probably help him a lot too."

"How do you think Julio is?" Gloria pressed on, "do you have any concerns about him?"

"Julio's fine," Lourdes said dismissively, "he almost never gives me any trouble. Well, he always was a pretty good boy."

"I just worry," Gloria shrugged, "wondering if he's internalizing everything. Or whether he gets enough attention?"

"Gloria, I give my best to those boys," Lourdes said, sounding defensive, "I work a lot to keep a roof over their heads so yes, I'm not around as much as they probably would have liked, but I'm only one person.

"I didn't mean I don't think you give him enough attention," Gloria said quickly, placing a hand on her aunt's arm, "Tia…. you know how much I appreciate you. I don't know what I would have done after everything went down if you hadn't been here to take care of them for me. I just meant that Benny has always sort of monopolized everything because he's the louder one. He's such a handful, Julio sometimes gets cast aside."

"Well, I think Galina has been very good for that," Lourdes said, calming down now that she understood Gloria was not insulting her parenting, "Julio has spent a lot of time alone with her. It's been good for him to get that sort of attention. Which, by the way, if you're asking if I approve, I certainly do—but you already knew that."

"Yes," Gloria said softly, "but it's nice to hear."

"Can I go back to sleep now?" Lourdes asked, "it must be midnight by now."

"Tia, I want custody again," Gloria said firmly, "I'm home and that's the right thing. I need to be the one who signs school forms and who takes them to the doctor when they get sick."

"Okay, Gloria," Lourdes interrupted, "you realize that Julio will be turning eighteen in November, right? It's a little late to be worrying about this. They're almost grown men. I'm sorry you missed watching them grow up but that doesn't change the facts."

"Benny won't be eighteen for two more years," Gloria argued, "and even five months is still something. I'm their mother. It's only right."

"You are their mother," Lourdes said patiently, "but I have been the one who has been there every single day looking after them. I've been to all their parent-teacher conferences, looked after them when they were sick, comforted them whenever they had a bad dream."

Gloria opened her mouth to respond but Lourdes placed a hand on her arm to silence her.

"I never told you about how Julio went mute after you were arrested. Just stopped talking for months," Lourdes said bluntly, "or about how Benny started having night terrors and that it took nearly two weeks for the black eye Arturo gave him to fade. I didn't want to make you feel worse than you already did."

"You think it's odd that a sixteen-year-old boy needs to sleep with a nightlight on? When you went to prison he didn't sleep through the night for over a year. He'd wake up crying for you and I'd need to remind him where you were and promise him that I was going to take care of him. He'd have panic attacks at school and I was being called at work nearly everyday. Why do you think I took them to Florida? It wasn't because I wanted to move them away from you. I lost the job I had worked at for over ten years!"

Gloria had begun openly sobbing now as she listened to her aunt's words. "I'm sorry, Tia," she choked out, "I'm so sorry."

"Gloria," Lourdes sighed, "I'm not trying to hurt you. I just want you to understand that you can't just expect me to sign them back to you and act like I haven't been the one parenting them for half of their lives. However, the truth is that I'm an old woman and I'm tired. I'd like to retire and not come home at night to argue with a mouthy teenager about homework. So, if it's important to you that everything legal is put back in your name, we can do that. We can start the process tomorrow if you want."

"I just want to do the right thing," Gloria sniffled, with her eyes full of tears, "and not hurt anybody anymore. I hate what my actions did to my sons, that my daughters completely cut me out, and that you had to give up your life because of me."

Lourdes eyes softened, " _Va a estar bien_. It's going to be okay," she soothed, rubbing Gloria's arms, "it's over now. You're home."


	4. Chapter 4

Having always been an early riser, Gloria was naturally the first person in the apartment to wake up the next morning. She wouldn't have objected to a little more sleep. It was a luxury she could afford now that she no longer needed to contend with long lines for the shower if she didn't hurry. However, despite the late night, Gloria was wide awake at six o'clock. It had always been her favourite time of day and she enjoyed it even more now that the hours that stretched ahead of her were full of possibilities and choices that she was free to make for herself.

Taking care not to wake her aunt, Gloria crawled out of the bed and tiptoed into the living room. She wandered over to the made-up sofa that she had never bothered to return to during the night, and sat down. Lourdes hadn't had the drive to kick her out and had consented to share her bed under the condition that her niece stop talking and let her sleep. Gloria had lain silently awake for a long while trying to absorb everything that had been revealed about her sons to her. Her guilt was insurmountable, but at the same time, Gloria was committed to finding ways to move them forward rather than wallowing in her own regrets. There was still time to make everything better.

Gloria hugged her knees to her chest as she began contemplating what she intended to accomplish in the hours allotted to her while the boys were at school. Of course, she was planning to spend every minute she could with Red, but Gloria also needed to go shopping for clothes that would actually fit her properly and begin searching for a job. The rest of the time, Gloria was committed to being completely available and present to her sons above all else. More than anything she could give them, her mother intuitiveness told her that Julio and Benny really needed some consistency amidst all of these changes. That was essential.

Julio walked out of the bedroom in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and no shirt. He yawned loudly and then his face broke into a smile when he caught sight of his mother.

"Morning, mom," he said, stretching his arms above his head, "you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," Gloria lied, "I did. You hungry?"

"I guess," Julio said, "are you offering to make me breakfast?"

"What would you like?" Gloria asked him.

"Pancakes?" Julio shrugged.

"Sure," said Gloria, getting to her feet. "why don't you go get dressed and then join me in the kitchen?"

Gloria had always laughed when Red would insist that the most important ingredient in any dish was the love. Gloria was a good cook, some people might even say that out of the two women they preferred her food, but she didn't have Red's passion for it. She followed recipes from a book and sometimes made improvements on them, but her emotional state never had any impact on how things turned out. Despite what Red wanted to believe, it was just food.

If Gloria only had to worry about feeding herself, she'd probably be content to live off of take-out and ramen noodles. She had loved teasing Red that once she came home to her she wasn't going into the kitchen ever again, except to eat what was already prepared for her. However, she had loved making supper for her family last night and was happy to fix their breakfast this morning. As Gloria prepared the batter from scratch and set the griddle up she realized she was enjoying herself because it was a good way to show her boys how much she cared. Maybe it didn't affect the taste of the food, but Gloria felt like there was a heaping of love in the kitchen this morning. She hoped her sons could sense it too.

Julio had already changed into a pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt. He grabbed a mug from the cupboard and then poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot the Gloria had just made.

"You drink coffee?" Gloria frowned, watching him add a generous helping of cream to it.

"Yeah," said Julio, taking his usual seat at the table, "just in the morning."

"That just seems wrong," Gloria shook her head, "coffee is for old people like me who can barely open their eyes until they get a shot of caffeine. You shouldn't need it at your age."

"I like the taste," Julio told her, reaching for the sugar bowl in the center of the table and adding a heaping spoonful to his cup.

"You just like the taste of sugar," Gloria said reprovingly, "if you're looking for something sweet you could have some orange juice."

"No, I'll just stick with the coffee," Julio replied with a small smile. "Does it bother you that much, mom?"

"It makes you seem old," Gloria shrugged, resting her hand on her hip while she waited to flip the first set of pancakes.

"It makes me seem my age," Julio told her, "which shouldn't matter anyway. Even when I start college in September, I'm not moving out or anything."

"Good, because I'm not ready to let you go yet," said Gloria, bringing his plate over to the table, "or to stop making you the funny shaped pancakes you used to beg for when you were little. So, enjoy eating them with your coffee, big man."

"You put in chocolate chips too," he nodded approvingly, "thanks, mom. Usually I just have a piece of toast. This is awesome."

"There were only enough chocolate chips in the baking cupboard for your pancakes," Gloria told him, as she placed the maple syrup and butter tray beside him, "so don't tell Benny."

"I won't," promised Julio.

Lourdes walked slowly into the room and sank deeply into the chair at the table beside Julio. She was dressed for work in a pair of navy blue slacks with a patterned blouse.

"Morning, Tia," Julio said, after he had swallowed the bite of food in his mouth, "we're having pancakes this morning. Do you want some?"

"Sure," Lourdes said, "and maybe some coffee, Gloria? It was a late night, after all."

Gloria poured some more pancake batter onto the griddle and then went to get her aunt a coffee.

"I'm sorry, Tia," she said apologetically, placing the mug in front of her, "I didn't want you to be tired today."

" _Esta Bien_ , that's okay," Lourdes said lightly, "I think we needed that time together. Just don't think I'll let you get away with waking me up again this night."

"I promise," Gloria said, "but I might still share your bed tonight. Even though you snore!"

"Sometimes I can hear her through the wall," Julio joked.

Lourdes rolled her eyes and took a large sip of her coffee. Julio finished up the last of his pancakes and brought his dishes to the sink.

"Julio," Lourdes said.

"Yeah?" asked Julio.

"If you're finished eating, will you go wake up your brother for me?" she asked, "otherwise, he won't have time for breakfast."

"Sure—"

"Why don't you take over here, _papi_ ," Gloria said, handing Julio the spatula, "I'll go get him."

"Have fun," Julio grinned slyly.

Benny was sleeping with his head facing the wall and one leg out of the covers. He was a stomach sleeper, just like his mother, although Gloria hoped she didn't look quite so tense when she was asleep. Who was she kidding though? She probably did. Benny's jaw was clenched tightly and his hand was balled into a fist. It was sad that he didn't even appear to let his guard down while at rest. Although, he had seemed content enough when he'd been lying on the couch with her the previous night. Maybe he could be taught how to relax.

First though, she needed to irritate him. It was time to wake up if he was going to have any hope of making it to school on time. Gloria walked quietly into the room and sat gently on the edge of his bed. She ran a hand through his dark locks of hair and then down his back. Such a blessing it was to be able to finally be here. Normally at this hour, she'd have been busy in the prison kitchen serving breakfast and ready to pull her hair out if even one more inmate approached her with some bullshit allergy request. This was so much better.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Gloria said, shaking Benny's shoulder lightly.

"Get off of me, Julio," Benny moaned sleepily. His eyes were still firmly closed. He shrugged her hand off of his shoulder and pulled his blanket over his head.

"It's not Julio," Gloria corrected him, "it's your mother." She took hold of his comforter and pulled it down,

"Oh, yeah," Benny said lazily, rolling onto his back to stare up at her, "I forgot for a second." He sighed and closed his eyes once again.

"You need to get ready for school, _Papi_ ," Gloria told him, a bit more sternly, "and then you can have some pancakes for breakfast." She pulled the blanket completely off of him. Benny pretended to shiver, despite it being a warm day in June.

"The frozen kind?" Benny scoffed, he turned on his side and buried his face back against his pillow.

"No, I made batter from scratch," Gloria replied, "will that please, his highness?"

Benny shrugged his shoulders but did not lift his face off the pillow. Gloria rolled her eyes and laid down in the bed next to him.

"Come on," Gloria coaxed, shaking him again, "you don't want to be late."

"Go away," Benny groaned, "let me be. Let me sleep."

"No, you can't miss class," said Gloria firmly.

"It's just review today anyway," Benny reminded her, "what if I agree to read my textbook all day on the couch if you let me stay home?"

"No way," Gloria protested, "I couldn't even get you to study for one-hour, last night. Tia will have both our heads if I let you stay home. Now get up."

"You just want me gone so that you can go see _her_ ," Benny said grumpily, his words slightly muffled as he spoke them into his pillow.

"I don't want you gone," Gloria told him, "but you're not sick so you can't just stay home from school. I'll be here when you get back though, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried," Benny replied, "I'm just not an idiot."

"I never implied that you were," Gloria said slowly, "and that I have plans with her isn't a secret. I need to go shopping. I'm not really feeling this old nightgown of Tia's.

"You shouldn't, it's hideous," Benny grumbled.

"If you really don't want to go to school, I guess Galina and I could take you to the mall with us," Gloria smirked, "you can hold my bags and help me decide what to buy, while I try on clothes."

"Forget it," Benny scoffed, "I'll go to school."

"So, get up then," Gloria prodded.

"Stop rushing me," Benny complained, "I'll get there. I'm a fast runner."

"Benny," Gloria said warningly, tickling his ribs. He tried to grab her arm to stop the attack but Gloria just pinned his arm down and continued.

"Stop it!" Benny cried, roaring with laughter as he tried and failed to get away, "what's wrong with you?"

"Will you wake up?" Gloria asked breathlessly, refusing to let him go until he agreed.

"Yes, yes!" Benny bemoaned, "fine!"

Gloria let him go and stood up to leave.

"What kind of a mother are you?" Benny fixed her with a glare as he sat up in bed.

"The sort of mother who will come back in here and kick your ass if you're not at the kitchen table in five minutes," Gloria replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Is he coming?" Lourdes asked, when Gloria returned to the kitchen a few minutes later. She had changed out of the borrowed nightgown and was now re-wearing her clothes from yesterday.

"Reluctantly," Gloria replied, as she walked over to the stove, "but yeah, he is."

Julio was playing a game on his phone while Lourdes finished up her breakfast. She glanced anxiously at the clock and took another sip of her coffee. Gloria poured the batter for Benny's pancakes and then turned back around to look at her aunt.

"Do you have my bank card handy?" Gloria asked her, "I need it."

"Why, are you going somewhere?" Lourdes asked her, "don't think you'll get too far with that."

"It should get me far enough to buy at least one decent outfit to go job hunting in," Gloria replied, "and a pair of jeans that actually fit. The rest can wait until I start working."

"Well, you're going to need a little bit more than that," Lourdes reasoned. She went into her wallet and pulled out five twenty-dollar bills, which she handed to Gloria.

"Don't take anything out of your bank account until you know there is income going back in," Lourdes said wisely.

"I'll pay you back," Gloria said, feeling guilty as she stared down at the bills in her hand.

"Only if you can," Lourdes replied simply.

Benny walked into the kitchen, dressed for school, and sat down at the table. Gloria plated his pancakes and placed them before him. He brightened at the different designs she had formed them into for him and then drowned them in syrup.

"Don't forget to give your guidance counsellor that note today," Lourdes reminded him.

"I know," Benny replied, with his mouth full of food.

Lourdes gave him a reproving glance as she went to put her shoes on and grab her purse. Gloria was leaning against the counter, at last eating some breakfast herself.

"I almost forgot," Lourdes said, hurriedly walking back over to Gloria, "I have a key to the apartment for you."

"Oh, right," said Gloria, taking the key from her aunt, "thanks."

"Do you want me to leave you my cell phone in case you need to call?" Lourdes asked, "you could reach me on the work phone."

"No, that's alright," Gloria said smoothly, "if I need you, I can borrow Galina's."

Gloria didn't miss the way Benny rolled his eyes at the table and she pursed her lips at him, before turning her attention back to her aunt.

"Well, I wrote down my cell phone and work numbers for you anyway," Lourdes said briskly, "I should be home around six today."

"I'll have supper waiting for you," Gloria said, "it's the least I can do."

"Perfect," Lourdes replied, "I need to go or I'll be late. Boys, you better be right behind me because I'm not writing any excuse notes if you don't get there on time."

After Lourdes left, the boys hurried to put on their shoes and grab their backpacks. Benny retreated back to the stove to grab a remaining pancake to eat on the walk to school. Gloria reminded them that she would be here when they got home, and then watched from the doorway as they headed off. As soon as they were out of sight, she sprang into action, rushing through the dishes and clean up in the kitchen so that she could leave. She had places to be.

A little breathless from her hurried walk, Gloria was about to knock on Red's door when she had the idea to check under the welcome mat instead. Nothing there, Gloria side eyed the large cascading flower pot and brushed away just a light layer of soil to reveal a key. She had to laugh to herself at the idea of finding it there in the most obvious of places. It was probably Nicky's doing, Gloria decided as she quietly unlocked the door and let herself into the apartment. Red had too many trust issues to ever think of hiding a key outside.

Gloria almost tripped upon entering the room. She rolled her eyes at the black pair of converse sneakers that had been left right in the doorway, and impatiently kicked them to the side. Obviously, Nicky was home. The place was quiet and the living room and kitchen were still darkened. Everyone still appeared to be sleeping and she was excited about being there when Red woke up. She tiptoed down the hall, noting the purse and black bartender apron that Nicky had dropped on her way to her room.

"I can't believe she's allowed to get away with that," Gloria shook her head, as she pushed on the bedroom door that had been left open ajar.

"What are you doing here?" Red asked in amazement. She was sitting up in bed, the dog at her side, still dressed in her pajamas, with a book across her lap.

"I wanted to surprise you," Gloria said excitedly, crawling up onto the bed and shuffling over to Red on her knees.

"Good morning," Gloria whispered, after she had given her a hello kiss.

"Good morning," Red smiled back. She marked her page in the book and placed it on her bed-side-table. She took off her reading glasses and laid them on the table as well.

"Did you miss me?" Gloria purred. She pulled back the blankets so that she could crawl in next to her. Red's dog seemed offended by this intrusion and jumped off the bed to go find a more peaceful place to sleep. He turned back to give his owner a very pointed look of annoyance.

"I think he likes me," Gloria remarked with a giggle.

"Probably more than Benny likes me," Red twisted her lips. Gloria sighed and snuggled deeper beneath the covers.

"Benny likes you," Gloria said quietly, resting her head against Red's shoulder and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I think he used to," Red replied, wrapping her arm around Gloria's shoulder and gently scratching her bare arm, "but I really hurt him. I didn't realize that me not showing up would matter that much, or maybe I didn't want to believe it would."

"Well, I've really hurt him too," Gloria said sadly, "and Julio too.

"And my daughters," she added, "but I can't even think about that right now because it's already just too much."

"You're a good mother, Gloria," Red said, leaning forward to kiss her temple, "and those boys have never seemed more content to me than they did yesterday with you. I could see it in their eyes."

"It's a start," Gloria smiled, "we had a good night together."

"Yeah?" Red smiled, "I'm so glad. What did you do?"

"Oh, nothing fancy," Gloria replied. She reached for Red's hand and began running her fingers across her palm.

"I cooked their favourite dinner," she smiled, "I helped Julio review for an exam. Benny mainly just wanted to be where I was. It was like no time had passed in some ways."

"See? Everything's going to be okay," Red murmured, running her hand up and down Gloria's arm affectionately.

"I think Benny was jealous that I was coming here today, though," Gloria admitted. Red tightened her grip on Gloria's arm.

"He just doesn't want to share his mom," said Red, "he's missed you so much. I understand some of what he's going through. Sometimes I don't want to share you either."

Gloria leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "well, right now you don't have to," she whispered, "it's just you and me here." She reached up to cup Red's face and ran her thumb over the spot her lips had just touched. Red smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Gloria's ear for her.

"Are we completely alone, though?" asked Red, "did you happen to notice if Nicky was home?"

"Well, judging by the trail of items leading from the front door to her bedroom, I'd have to say yes," said Gloria lazily. She rested her head back against Red's shoulder and moved her hand down her thigh, "you let her do that?"

"I was asleep," Red protested, "I'll make her clean it up."

"Uh huh," Gloria smiled. She turned to kiss her jawline, "or would you rather just admit that you're going soft?"

"I'll never admit to that," Red smirked, "I am a very strict mother…. just ask my boys."

"I don't know," Gloria laughed, "I think you'd let that girl get away with murder."

She gently ran kisses down the side of Red's neck, savouring the closeness that had been forbidden them for so long. Gloria easily could have laid in bed all day, spending every moment she had getting reacquainted with Galina's love in every way, but she knew they needed to get going if they would ever have enough time to accomplish everything during the boys' school day.

XXX

"Judging by the glow on your face, I guess I made the right call about waiting to say hi until you came out yourself," Nicky teased, when they emerged from the bedroom.

"Nicky, what are you doing up already?" Red asked, looking slightly flustered.

"Make that a glow on _both_ of your faces," Nicky laughed, "or is that just embarrassment? I can't tell. Don't be embarrassed though, I only needed to turn the volume on the television up a couple of notches."

"Maybe instead of watching television you could have used that time to clean up all your things that you left on the floor last night," Gloria retorted, "I almost tripped over your shoes because you left them right in the doorway."

"Oh, I keep them there in case we have an intruder in the night," Nicky smiled, "never know when a sex-crazed Latina is going to come bursting in here."

"Nicky!" Red exclaimed.

"What?" asked Nicky innocently, "I thought you'd appreciate that humour."

"I'd appreciate you putting your things away," Red told her, "this isn't Marka's house. We don't have a maid to pick up after you all day."

"No, I have a mother to do that now," Nicky joked. At the look on Red's face however, she got to her feet and immediately started gathering up her belongings.

"How did you get in here yourself, anyway?" Red asked Gloria, "I forgot to make a key for you before you got out. Or did Nicky leave the door unlocked again?"

"Why would you assume it was me?" asked Nicky, returning to the couch after throwing her things roughly through the door of her messy bedroom.

"A key in a flower pot?" Gloria raised her eyebrows at Red, "not very original, darling. That's one of the first places people check."

"I tried to tell her that," Nicky sighed exasperatingly.

"Key in a flower pot?" Red frowned in confusion, "but I never—"

She glanced over at Nicky.

"What?" asked Nicky.

"Did you bury your key in the flowers?" Red asked.

"I kept losing it," Nicky admitted easily, "this way is better."

"What do you mean _kept_ losing it?" Red frowned reprovingly.

"I made a copy of yours," Nicky replied, "this is like my third one."

Red glared at her while Gloria laughed heartily at their ridiculousness. She'd forgotten how lively even the simplest of conversations could become when they were all together.

"I figured it would be safer in the flower pot," Nicky explained, "how was I supposed to know that Gloria would use it to break in here? Which, you seem to have enjoyed exponentially, evidently. So really, you should be thanking me."

"What if a burglar wanted to break in here though?" Red scolded.

"Hate to break it to you, Ma," Nicky said, turning her attention back to the television, "but if a burglar wanted to break in here, they'd do it no matter what. At least if I left a key out that might spare us from needing to replace a broken window or door."

"Well, on that happy note, you ready to go shopping with me?" Gloria asked Red, patting her hand.

"Where are you going shopping?" Nicky asked them brightly.

"Just the mall down the street," Red replied, "Gloria needs to buy new clothes and I'm questioning whether I should change the locks."

"Nah, we're fine," Nicky said dismissively, "but if you're going to get a key cut for Gloria today, can you have a couple extra made?"

"Why? You planning to lose another one?" Gloria asked.

"I just want to plan ahead," Nicky replied.

Red rolled her eyes as she and Gloria made for the door.

"Wait, don't go yet," Nicky said quickly, "I want to come too!"

Red and Gloria exchanged looks of amusement as Nicky rushed to her bedroom. She emerged about a minute later changed into a faded denim skirt, black tank top, and the black converses that Gloria had almost fallen over that morning. She slung her black purse over one arm and led the way out of the apartment.

"Maybe we should go to a movie after?" Nicky said enthusiastically, as she rushed quickly down the stairs, "we should do something to celebrate all three of us being back together again!"

Gloria linked her arm in Red's as the walked down the stairs in Nicky's wake. She felt surrounded by love.


	5. Chapter 5

The shopping mall wasn't too busy on a Tuesday morning. Gloria walked with a purpose, eyeing all the different stores as she tried to find a place that would suit her needs at the lowest price. She paused to admire a window display of colourful sandals, but then continued on without going into that store. She couldn't afford anything like that. All she was planning to do today was buy a few things to hold her over until she started working. She by-passed all the fancier boutiques and followed the signs that led the way to a discount department store. She could buy the basics there.

"You're too fast when you're on a mission," Red teased, scratching Gloria's back lightly when she caught up to her.

Gloria had been unintentionally walking ahead ever since they had entered the mall. She had naturally picked up her pace as she'd been looking around taking everything in. She felt like a kid in a candy store. Ordinary things she used to do all the time in the past now just seemed extraordinary. Gloria used to spend a lot of time browsing and window shopping at the mall when her boys had been young. She'd push them in their double stroller and check out the shoes she coveted but seldom could afford to buy. Then she'd take them to the toy store to run around and get tired before they went home. It was a tactic she often employed when her live-in boyfriend Arturo would be in a particularly bad mood. It was a good place to be when she had just needed to escape.

"Sorry," Gloria smiled at her, "I'm just sort of excited to be here."

"I can tell," Red replied, discreetly kissing Gloria's shoulder.

"Every little thing feels like a big adventure right now," Gloria explained, reaching a hand up to tuck a lock of Red's hair behind her ear, "was it like that for you at first?"

"Not really, I was a mess," Red admitted, straightening up and adjusting her purse. "Everything stressed me out. I remember I was shaking so hard that I couldn't even fasten my own seatbelt on the way home. Vasily had to do it for me. I had a hard time sleeping at night when the house was too quiet. I wasn't used to sleeping in a room alone. I'd hear Vera wake up and I'd volunteer to take her once Lida finished feeding because I just needed something to do. The first few days I didn't even leave the house unless somebody was with me."

"I'm not stressed anywhere near that level," Gloria said softly, "although, I guess I have it a bit easier since you and Nicky have already been in my shoes. You had to come home to a place where nobody could really understand what you were going through."

"I suppose in some ways," Red reasoned, "but I think it would be harder to come home and immediately have to jump back into being a full-time parent without a chance to catch your breath. In my situation, my children were all grown up and wanted to take care of _me_. They were so protective that it started to get on my nerves. Nothing was really expected of me besides doing what I felt like doing."

Their eyes met and Gloria's expression softened exponentially as she felt her internal struggle validated. The level of understanding between them just made everything easier. It was incredibly comforting to have the difficulties mixed in with her blessings recognized. So grateful to have this second chance to be her sons' mother, Gloria had been unwilling to vocalize the harder aspects of her situation because she didn't want to seem selfish. She was in such a habit of internalizing her emotions since nobody had ever cared much about them anyway, but Red had just worded her feelings perfectly.

"I feel so blessed," Gloria began, "but….it is a little overwhelming,"

She bit her lip after she admitted what she considered to be a terrible secret. Yet, there was nobody else who she felt she could be this honest with. She reached out to gently stroke Red's elbow with her thumb. She was so thankful for her.

"Being home, I can see even more clearly how my mistakes have hurt them," Gloria said quietly, "I can barely think about myself because I'm just so focused on trying to fix everything for them."

"Well, that's why I'm here," Red said, lightly tapping her hand, "to make sure that you don't forget about yourself through all of this. Of course, Julio and Benny come first, but you matter too. I wish you would let me do more."

"Thanks for waiting for me!" an annoyed voice called behind them. Their moment of confession interrupted, Gloria and Red exchanged meaningful looks before turning around. Nicky was hurrying towards them carrying a giant pretzel in one hand.

"We are waiting for you," Gloria said, when Nicky reached them, "we're not standing outside the store just for the hell of it."

"What were you doing anyway?" Red asked, "I thought you were right behind us."

"I needed to buy this," Nicky motioned to her pretzel, "I told you to stop walking, but you both just ignored me. I turned around and had no clue where you had gone."

"I didn't hear you," Red said apologetically.

"But, you found us alright," said Gloria, "how was I supposed to know you'd need to stuff your face as soon as we got here?"

"I can't shop on an empty stomach," Nicky explained, "and Red didn't even make breakfast this morning."

"She had better things to do," Gloria grinned slyly.

"Well how nice for you," Nicky rolled her eyes, "even if you have no consideration for me."

"Oh, poor girl," Gloria soothed sarcastically, "you'd think a woman in her thirties would be capable of preparing her own breakfast time to time."

"I am capable," Nicky reasoned, "but making me things to eat is how Red shows me she loves me."

"Well, I'm not going to expect my cooking to generate the same sentiments," said Gloria, "but after we're done here I'd like to go to the grocery store and pick up a few things to make everybody dinner. I want you both to come over tonight."

She turned to look directly at Red, "promise?" she said with a knowing look.

"Sure," Red shrugged, "you can deal with Benny's irritation about it when I'm gone."

"Perfect," Gloria smiled, turning to walk into the store without a backwards glance. Red and Nicky were left standing behind in her wake.

"Nicky, they're not going to let you in with that," Red reproached, tugging on her arm when Nicky made to follow Gloria into the store.

"I paid five dollars for this pretzel, I'm not giving it up," Nicky replied, taking another large bite.

"Finish it out here before we go in," Red suggested.

"If a salesperson wants to complain about it, I'll just stuff it in my purse," Nicky reasoned.

Red rolled her eyes and they headed inside together. Gloria was already in the women's clothing section, busy slinging different sizes of blue jeans and black slacks off of a discount rack for herself to try on. She looked entirely methodical about the process. She then turned her attention to a rack of shirts and began shuffling through them intently. Nicky plopped herself down on a bench to wait while Red went over to join Gloria.

"Can I hold stuff for you?" Red asked, taking the large bundle of clothing out of Gloria's arms before she could stop her.

"You don't have to do that," Gloria weakly protested, but she smiled graciously.

"We can go somewhere else when you're done here," Red said quietly, "I have some money for you to buy things with too."

"I don't want to take your money," Gloria said, her eyes focused on the rack of shirts she was perusing, "I don't even want to take Lourdes', but I don't really have a choice. I just don't want to feel like I owe you anything. I don't want to start us off that way."

"It's a gift," Red said, readjusting her hold on the clothing in her arms, "I would have used it to buy you some things before but I knew you'd need to try everything on."

"I don't know," Gloria murmured quietly. "You've already bought me food and cigarettes. I don't want to keep taking from you."

Red rolled her eyes as Gloria moved around the rest of the racks grabbing a few more shirts from clearance, as well as a short khaki skirt. Then she moved swiftly over to intimates' section to pick out a bra, some underwear, and socks. Nicky had grown bored of waiting on the bench and had been trailing silently behind them unnoticed.

"Okay, this is where I draw the line," she spoke up, "Gloria, you cannot buy some granny bra from a clearance rack."

"It's nice," Gloria protested, examining a plain black bra, "and it's cheap. Sold."

"It's just not very exciting," Nicky replied, "you want me to help you pick out some hot lingerie? I buy Lorna presents from this store just a few down all the time."

"How thoughtful of you," Gloria said dryly, "but I think I'll pass. You can save all your hot little suggestions for Lorna. I'm going to try this stuff on."

"I'm going to look for the washroom," Red said, handing Gloria back all of the clothes she had been holding for her."

"Okay," Gloria said agreeably, barely able to see over the mountain of clothes in her arms, "I'll be here."

"I'll leave Nicky with you," Red smiled mischievously, "I won't be long."

Gloria walked over to the dressing room to try everything on. She had grabbed several sizes of the same items because she could never tell what size she was going to be until she had the clothes on. It was one of the difficulties of being so curvy. Everything looked great once you found something that actually fit properly, but getting to that point always took some effort.

"Where are you going?" Nicky asked Red curiously, following her towards the exit.

"There's something I want to pick up," Red explained nonchalantly, "this seems like as good a time as any. Text me if you leave this store before I get back, hmm?"

Leaving a perplexed Nicky behind, Red walked swiftly back the way they had come. She headed straight towards the store Gloria had paused by to admire the shoes in the window display. That hadn't escaped Red's notice and she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

Red had every intention of helping Gloria buy the things she needed to start over. It upset her that Gloria was still so hesitant to accept her help after everything they had been through together. It was as if Gloria didn't feel like she deserved it. She felt incredibly small after accepting yet more money from Lourdes, but she also was powerless without it. Red could appreciate Gloria's concerns about not wanting to depend on her in a similar way, but her fear that it would undermine their equal partnership was completely unfounded.

Red had been in Gloria's situation not long ago, and she understood what it was like to have nothing and need other people to provide for your most basic needs. It had been tremendously difficult to accept the way her sons and Lida had coddled her in the early days, ensuring that one of them was always with her, but it had been exactly what she had needed. Gloria would feel better once she had a job and was earning her own living. She had a need to assert herself and Red knew that must be respected. Even something as simple as buying her a new pair of sandals needed to be done in a way that would not undermine what little control Gloria felt she had. For Gloria had felt powerless in her life long before she had ever been sentenced to prison.

Perusing the display, Red went into the store to buy a pair of colourful sandals that she believed Gloria would love. They could always exchange them if she preferred a different pair, but Red thought she knew Gloria's taste pretty well. At the cash, she added a pair of aviator sunglasses to the purchase on a whim. After paying, Red could not resist the impulse to walk into the store that Nicky had suggested. There she selected a few beautiful matching sets of bras and panties and a pair of capris pajama pants with a matching top to sleep in. Gloria deserved some nice things.

Feeling satisfied about the gifts she had purchased, Red decided she had been gone long enough and needed to head back to find the other two. She walked briskly down the mall strip with her purse over one shoulder and the bags in her hand. She hoped that Gloria wouldn't be annoyed at her for going behind her back to do a little extra shopping. Red knew it wouldn't be easy for her to accept either, had their positions been reversed, but there was nothing she wanted to do more right now than spoil Gloria a little bit. Gloria's life had been so bleak for too long and she still had a long trek ahead of her. It would be easier if Gloria would be more willing to accept her help.

"Mama?" Red heard someone call. She paused mid-step and glanced behind her to see her middle son Maxim coming out of a gaming store. She hadn't expected to run into any of her boys at the mall at this time of day. He should have been at work. Maxim walked over and bent down to kiss her cheek.

"Hi, honey," Red said, reaching up to give him a single-armed hug, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm on my lunch break," Maxim explained, "so I decided to swing by here and buy Luca a birthday present. I got him the new game he wanted," he motioned to the small bag in his hand.

"Oh, that's right," Red brushed her hair back with her free hand, "his birthday is this Friday, right?"

"Yep," Maxim nodded, "and we're all going out for dinner. Remember?" He gave her a pointed look.

"Of course," Red replied, "I didn't forget. I have it marked on my calendar."

"We have reservations for seven," Maxim reminded her, "and then we'll go back to my house for the cake. Nicky told me the other day to make sure you bring home a piece for her."

"She's upset she has to work," Red told him, "they wouldn't give her the night off."

"I know," Maxim replied, "that's okay. We'll have to plan something another time that everybody can make it to. It's hard to get the entire family under one roof at the same time when our schedules are so different."

"Mhmm," Red nodded in agreement. She bumped against him as they began walking slowly together in the direction that she had been headed in.

Maxim hesitated and then asked, "do you think Gloria would like to come on Friday? You can ask her, you know. Julio and Benny too, obviously.

"I think it's a little too soon," Red answered immediately, "I'll probably just come by myself."

"Sure," Maxim nodded.

"Would you like me to bake the cake?" she asked, "I could make the Strawberry-Amaretto he liked so much at Easter."

"Sounds great," Maxim replied.

"I still need to get him a gift though," Red mused, "but you need to tell me what to get him since I have no ideas. Unless twenty dollars in a card would suffice?"

"I think you can do something a little more thoughtful," Maxim smiled, "I'll help you think of it. Where are you headed now?"

"I'm supposed to meet Gloria and Nicky," Red replied, "they're shopping for clothes and I just needed to grab a few things by myself."

"How is Gloria?" Maxim asked concernedly, "the boys must be ecstatic that she's home."

"They are," Red nodded, "and so is she. It's all good."

"Good," Maxim nodded, not sure what else he could say.

Red swallowed a lump in her throat and then asked in a shaky voice, "do you want to come say hello?"

"Sure," said Maxim agreeably, "I'd like that."

Red visibly relaxed at his casualness. Although Maxim had already met Gloria, he had never seen them together openly. None of her children had. Still, she was taken a-back by her own nervousness. She had thought the hard part was behind her once she had told them the truth, but involving them in a relationship that had been more or less tucked away until now was going to be a whole new experience. Still, she felt a little embarrassed about how hard this surprisingly was for her and how uncertain she felt about involving her sons. Especially because she knew that what she needed to do was nothing compared to what Gloria was facing with Julio and Benny.

Red's sons were all grown men and her relationship had very little repercussions for them. Gloria's sons were affected very much and Red suddenly felt a flush of guilt about perhaps expecting a little too much from them as of late. Resolving to get better at exercising patience, especially with Benny, Red smiled up at Maxim. If she had to choose one of her boys to be here right now, without question it would be him. Just like Dmitri, Maxim was very gentle and welcoming. His calmness endeared people to him in the same way his mother and brothers' dramatics amused them. He was just a nice person and Red knew that Gloria would like him.

"There you are!" Gloria exclaimed, when she saw Red approaching with Maxim. She and Nicky were waiting outside the store for her. Gloria had been standing, with her arms folded, and bags at her feet while Nicky paid for a session in the massage chair.

"We thought you got lost!" Nicky added, "hey, Max." Her voice was stuttery as the massage chair vibrated against the back of her head.

"Well, I went shopping for a few things and then we ran into one another," Red replied.

"Gloria, you remember my middle son, Maxim, yes?" Red said uncertainly, patting Maxim on the arm as she spoke.

"It's good to see you again," Maxim said politely to Gloria, extending a hand to shake, "and especially in a much happier environment."

"Thanks," Gloria smiled, "same to you."

"So, did you have any luck?" Red asked Gloria, as a bit of an awkward silence fell over them.

"Yeah, I got some things," Gloria replied, motioning to the bags set at her feet.

"Boring things though," Nicky added, as she deposited more money into the chair for another round, "I tried to help her."

"Remind me why you left her with me again?" Gloria crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows at Red, "was it just because you didn't want to deal?"

"Deal with what?" Nicky scoffed, "I'm a delight. I just offered a few suggestions."

"Black leather pants?" Gloria rolled her eyes, "for summer? When I just finished telling you I was only0 buying a few staples today?"

"They would have looked nice," Nicky shrugged.

"She's not wrong," Red murmured coyly.

"She's a pest," Gloria exclaimed.

"Are you still mad about what I said in the change room?" Nicky asked.

"What did you say?" Max asked in amusement.

"Gloria came out to show me an outfit she had tried on," Nicky said, "and I told her what I thought would improve it."

"Which was?" Red asked, looking slightly exasperated.

"A smile," Nicky grinned mischievously, "because she always has this look about her as though something is annoying her. I see it all the time."

"I wonder why that is?" Gloria asked her sarcastically, shaking her head at Red with a tired smile, "trouble."

"So, I wish I could be there for the birthday party this Friday," Nicky told Maxim apologetically, "but my boss is a jerk and Piper is still on her honeymoon so the place is short staffed."

"I know, that sucks," Maxim said sympathetically, "you'll be missed."

"Are you going to Luca's party, Gloria?" Nicky asked directly.

Red's eyes widened alarmingly at Nicky's blunt question. Gloria didn't even know about the party because she had neglected to mention it. Truthfully, Red had meant it when she told Maxim that she thought it was too soon. She did think exposing her entire family to Gloria all in one shot when she had just gotten home would be too much. However, she was thinking about herself most of all in that instance. She didn't want to make any of her children uncomfortable. Perhaps, her fears were a bit unwarranted, but she had always been a bit more reserved by nature and this was no exception. Red didn't know how Dmitri had found the nerve to introduce his mistress to his sons and expect them all to become one happy family. Had their roles been reversed, Red knew she would have never done what her Dmitri had, although it seemed to work out for him. This was hard enough.

"Umm…I don't know," Gloria glanced at Red uncertainly, "I'm not sure if I'll be busy that night or not…"

"So, is that a polite no?" Nicky asked her.

"That's a we'll see, and mind your business," Gloria said sternly.

"Well, you're very welcome if you decide to come," Maxim told Gloria, "everyone is looking forward to meeting you. But, I mean, I know you must have a million things to do right now, so no pressure at all."

"Okay, thanks," Gloria smiled sincerely.

"I better head out or I'll be late getting back to work," Maxim said, after he had checked the time on his phone. He repocketed it.

"It's great to see you again though," he said to Gloria.

"Bye, Ma," he said, leaning down to kiss Red's cheek once more, "see you, Nicky."

"I'll talk to you later, darling," Red told him, "I'll try to call tonight and you can help me decide what to buy him."

"Alright," Maxim said easily.

"Bye," said Nicky.

After Maxim had left, Red asked Gloria whether there were any other stores she wanted to visit but Gloria reckoned that she had already spent enough money. They decided to go to the grocery store instead.

"Lorna just texted and asked me if I wanted to meet up," Nicky announced, as she walked distractedly by Red's side.

"Oh," murmured Red, "are you going to?"

"Probably," said Nicky, "unless you both can't stand to see me go."

"How will we survive?" Gloria joked dryly.

"You'll miss me!" Nicky smiled confidently.

"Who could miss that mouth?" Gloria retorted, "just don't think I'll be offering to cook for you again anytime soon. I hope you enjoyed your pretzel!"

As they walked back outside Nicky bade them both farewell and went to find a cab that would take her to Lorna's. Red and Gloria began walking in the direction of the supermarket. The energy between them was quite subdued.

"Are you going to show me what's in those bags?" Gloria asked after a moment, "I'm guessing you weren't shopping for yourself? I knew you were taking too long!"

"I'll show you when we get to your home," Red replied, "otherwise, I'm afraid you'd make me return them."

Grocery shopping together was surprisingly fun. Both enjoyed these domestic tasks and neither had ever had anybody really accompany them before. They bought everything that Gloria needed and were weighed down with bags as they left.

"I didn't plan to keep Luca's Birthday party a secret," Red said, as they walked down the street in the direction of Lourdes' apartment, "I'd like you there if you want to come."

"Do you really though?" Gloria asked, point blank, "I feel like I'm getting some mixed signals."

At the look of hurt on Red's face, Gloria exhaled a deep breath. "But, I'm not entirely sure I would have wanted to go even if you had asked me yourself. It's just…"

"A lot?" Red finished for her.

"Yeah," Gloria nodded, "I just have enough to sort out with my own kids right now. I feel a little crazy at the thought of attempting to integrate myself into your family too, no matter how great I'm sure they all are. I mean, Maxim is the only one I've ever really interacted with so far, but he's been lovely every time."

"He is," Red smiled, "but, I understand. To be honest, when Nicky brought that up right in front of the two of you I just suddenly felt very panicked at the idea."

"Oh, I could tell," Gloria laughed, "it was written all over your face. Quite a talent, that girl has, getting everything out into the open like that."

"I thought I was ready because I had spent so much time with your sons and really felt prepared to take them on in my life," Red said honestly.

"And I still do," she added quickly, "don't get me wrong. I'd be happy to live under the same roof as you and your boys in a heartbeat. It's _my_ boys that worry me."

"Why?" asked Gloria.

"I just don't want them to think differently of me, now that all of this is happening," Red confided, "and I know it's all in my head, because my sons aren't like that. They are all grown up with their own lives and if I'm happy than I know they will be too."

"So, then it's yourself that you need to work on," Gloria said wisely, "not them. They're fine."

They reached the steps that led up to the apartment and silently climbed them together. Gloria unlocked the door with the key that Lourdes had given her that morning, and they both went into the kitchen to unburden themselves of their bags. Red unpacked all of their groceries while Gloria stowed them away in the cupboards, except for what she was planning to use right away to cook supper.

"You know…." Red began thoughtfully, sitting down at the table and folding her hands together, "running into Maxim so unexpectedly today and realizing how unprepared I felt...I almost didn't even tell him that I was at the mall with you. Not because I was ashamed, just…it's an odd situation. It made me think."

"Uh huh," Gloria murmured encouragingly, "what about exactly?". She was on her hands and knees on the floor rummaging way in the back of a bottom cupboard for a roasting pan she needed.

"Mostly about Benny," Red began, "and about how sorry I am for giving you such a hard time about staying here…you made the right decision."

Gloria rested the pan on her lap and stared up at Red, from her place kneeling on the floor. Hearing the validation of her decisions gave her such a boost of morale and a surge of confidence. She had been feeling terrible for upsetting Red, and constantly second guessing what she was doing. It was her natural inclination to assume that whenever anybody was unhappy that it had to be fault. Arturo had always blamed her for every little thing, and she had of course committed real crimes with disastrous consequences. So, she had hated feeling like she was pushing away, and risking potentially losing, somebody she loved and cared about very much. Gloria felt like she was saying no to Red at every turn, burdening her with refusals left and right, and with a son who was resistant to the entire idea of them. It was a lot, and Red telling her that she was handling things well, made all the difference in the world.

Stretching to place the roasting pan on the counter, Gloria shuffled over to the table on her knees and laid her head in Red's lap.

"Thank you," she whispered, emotionally, "I'm trying to do the right thing."

"You are," Red murmured, "one-hundred percent." Her hand immediately began caressing Gloria's dark locks affectionately.

"If you had come live with me, none of us would have been happy. It would have been disrespectful to Lourdes and utterly unfair to the boys. I just presumed if I got to know them and formed an attachment with them that everything would fall into place. It wouldn't have though. Julio probably would have made the best of things because he's just that sort of person, but it would have been just way too much all at once. And Benny would have suffered, probably start staying out more and potentially getting into trouble, just because he felt uncomfortable in his own home. Neither of them needs that and Benny does not want to share you, he's made that quite clear."

"I mean…it's not like it's never going to happen," Gloria said quietly, her head still resting in Red's lap, "we both know what we want and eventually we're going to have that. I think living apart is the best thing while the boys are still at home, but we can still be a family. Us going there, you coming here, going out places, holidays. Them just getting used to us together. Maybe that will be enough for now. It's a start, at least."

"I agree," said Red. And Gloria leaned up to kiss her lips.

"I love you, Galina," Gloria whispered, stroking her cheek with her thumb.

"I love you, too," Red replied, "and you can take all the time you need. All the time that _they_ need. I'm not going anywhere."

Gloria wrapped her arms around her neck in a tight embrace. Wondering how she had ever survived without this. Feeling so understood, respected, and valued. She didn't feel torn between doing what was right for her sons while trying to find enough balance so that Red would not feel rejected. Right now, she knew that they were undoubtedly on the same team. Gloria felt free to focus on her sons as a good mother should and know she had somebody who wanted nothing more than to support her through it all. This is what love was. This is what everybody deserved to find.

"Do you want to see what I bought you now?" Red asked, brushing Gloria's lips with hers, "I got you presents."

"Even after I told you not to," Gloria shook her head reproachfully, but looked ecstatic.

"It's not leather pants," Red told her, a note of mock apology in her voice, "but after Nicky's suggestion, maybe I should run back and consider it."

"I think you've already spoiled me enough," Gloria replied, peaking into the bag Red handed to her.

"Not nearly enough," Red replied, "you deserve so much more."

"They're beautiful," Gloria gushed, pulling out the sandals she had been ogling in the display case, "but…they aren't cheap."

"So, they're good quality and will probably last longer," Red said simply, "it's fine."

"I love them," Gloria said, slipping them on as she sat on the floor. Hardly able to take her eyes off of her new sandals, Gloria glanced into the other bag and saw the new pajama set, the bras, and panties.

"It's so much," Gloria bit her lip, completely overcome by how blessed she felt.

"No, it's not," Red replied, "you're starting over and you need new things. You're not taking from me. I have nearly a two-year head start out here. So of course, I'm in a better position at the moment. It won't always feel unbalanced, and you shouldn't feel bad for letting me help you. We're together, and what I have, I want to share with you."

"How did I get so lucky?" Gloria asked, stretching up for another kiss.

"That's the question I ask myself whenever I'm with you," was the reply.


	6. Chapter 6

A little over a week had passed, and Gloria was becoming increasingly frustrated about the lack of productivity in her life. She had filled out countless job applications and now had nothing else to do besides wait for a call. Until then, she spent the days cleaning, cooking, and running any errand Lourdes could come up with. It was her way of trying to stay relevant until she could begin contributing financially. Red had needed to return to work after spending Gloria's first couple of days home with her, and now the days were becoming incessantly lonely. They didn't get much time to themselves anymore. Having dinner with Gloria's family and meeting for a hurried cup of coffee in the morning was just not enough.

Which was why Gloria had been overjoyed and surprised when Red had phoned to ask if she wanted to go downtown to the Farmer's Market that afternoon. She had been allowed to leave work after lunch, although originally Gloria had not expected to see her until five. The plan had been for Gloria to bring the boys over to Red's apartment so they could have supper with her and Nicky that night, but this was even better. As soon as she had hung up the phone, Gloria had promptly changed out of her sweats and into a cute pair of denim shorts and a black tank top. She applied makeup and popped on the sunglasses and sandals that Red had bought her. Feeling cute, Gloria had then decided to wait outside. She was happy to turn off the television and escape a monotonous afternoon of boring talk shows.

There were at least a hundred different vendors in the market, right in the heart of downtown Queens. They were surrounded by restaurants and stores that had their front doors opened out onto the street. Musicians and street performers hung about, ready to entertain. Everywhere Gloria looked, there was something interesting to see. She had never spent much time in this area, but the way Red moved naturally about made it obvious that this place was her home. Gloria tucked her hand in the crook of Red's arm and they talked non-stop about anything and everything, as they maneuvered through the market, pausing to purchase fresh corn on the cob from one vendor, and some tomatoes from another. They bought a small carton of raspberries and snacked on them while they continued on with their shopping. Gloria didn't see any dramatic difference between the produce they bought today, compared to the convenience of the grocery store, but this was definitely more fun. The perfect sort of day to just be outside, enjoying life, with the person you loved.

"I wish everyday could be just like this," Gloria sighed contentedly, leaning her head against Red's shoulder momentarily as they walked, "no responsibilities, no stress…"

"And I'm only going to be doing half-days on Tuesdays and Thursdays now," Red reminded her, adjusting the strap of the casual navy dress she was wearing.

"I know," Gloria said happily. She slid her hand down Red's forearm to grip her hand, which she brought to her lips for a kiss. When she had asked Red why she had left work so early, Red had coyly replied that she had managed to rearrange her schedule so that they could spend more time together. It meant she now needed to work every Saturday, but that was a reasonable sacrifice if it would ensure they get a little time alone during the week.

"Hopefully, once I finally get a job our schedules won't become too out of sync," Gloria said skeptically.

"We'll make it work," Red said confidently.

"I know," Gloria said brightly, "we always do."

She cocked her head to the side and smiled, "do you feel like a treat?" she asked, licking her lips excitedly.

"Ice cream?" Red asked uncertainly, looking over at the place Gloria had just beckoned to.

"Not ice-cream, frozen yogurt," Gloria corrected, "my favourite. It's a hot day."

"We just had raspberries," Red reminded her.

"Then order a different flavour," Gloria replied, "come on." She grabbed Red's hand and pulled her into the shop. Afterwards, they strolled down the sidewalk, each with a cone of frozen yogurt. They sat down once they happened upon a vacant park bench in some shade.

"I should have just gotten the raspberry kind," Red commented, taking a tentative lick of the watermelon flavoured that she had ordered.

"You just don't like trying anything new," Gloria chided, "here, have a taste of mine. You'll like it." She held her cone of blueberry yogurt to Red's lips.

"I like yours better," Red conceded.

"Better?" Gloria asked. She giggled and leaned over to kiss a dab of the frozen yogurt that had been at the corner of her mouth.

"Mmm," Gloria licked her lips, "kissing you is always delicious but I especially enjoyed that. Maybe I should get you some flavoured chap stick."

"You're silly," Red rolled her eyes, although she couldn't keep herself from smiling.

She held out her cone to Gloria, "try some of this and we'll see what you say. Maybe it's not just trying something new that phases me."

"I don't know what your complaining about," Gloria said, after she had taken a hearty taste, "that was delicious.

"Hmm," Red murmured thoughtfully, wiping the remnants from Gloria's cool lips. She then licked the yogurt off of her finger, "I think I liked it better the second try."

"You would," smiled Gloria. She leaned back against the bench and sighed peacefully.

"You seem happy," Red observed.

Gloria nodded contentedly, "I am happy."

"So am I," said Red quietly, "I don't think I can remember a time in my life when I felt this happy. A close second would be when my boys were little, but those years were also chaotic and stressful. The children were a handful, well I guess not so much Maxim, he was always my calm one. Dmitri and I started fighting a lot after we had our first. Becoming parents just brought all the problems in our relationship out into the open and I'm sure even a complete stranger could have felt the tension. Our home was never as happy as I had hoped to provide for the boys."

"Parenting is hard," Gloria said sympathetically, "it probably strains even the happiest of marriages."

"And we weren't that happy to begin with," Red scoffed, "well…we were alright, I guess. Better than a lot of people."

"Better than my marriage," Gloria said bluntly. Red turned to look at her with wide eyes, wondering if she was going to get more. Gloria still didn't like to talk much about her past relationships. It was a part of herself she still mostly kept hidden away from everybody, even Red.

Gloria shrugged her shoulders, "we only got married _because_ he got me pregnant though, so we were sort of doomed from the start."

She shook her head as though trying to clear away some bad memories. Then she smiled a bit forcibly, eager to turn the conversation away from her ex-husband.

"Sometimes I miss when my kids were so young and innocent, but I do not miss the sleepless nights one bit," Gloria said. "My girls slept through the night at six and eight months old, Julio was only two weeks old when he started, and Benny…" she let out a dry laugh.

"Poor Benny," teased Red, "did he have colic?"

"Of course, he did," Gloria rolled her eyes, "he came out of me screaming. Then for the longest time he would cry the second I put him down, so I just carried him around for months. He didn't get any teeth until after his first birthday and then they came in all at once...I didn't sleep for six months."

"Aww, he didn't make things easy for you, did he?" said Red with a wicked smile, "not much seems to have changed, I guess."

"Tell me about it," scoffed Gloria, "I'm still pissed at him for my C-section scar. I had three babies with not so much as a stretch mark to show, and then number four comes along with his feet first and a big head."

"I think it's beautiful," Red said honestly, gently touching the part of Gloria's lower abdomen where she knew the C-section scar to be, "it makes you seem even more womanly, some how."

Gloria covered Red's hand with hers and pressed it tighter against herself for a moment. Then she released her hand and silence fell between them. Gloria quietly finished off her cone, while Red eyed hers with disdain before getting up to toss it in the trash.

"None of my sons would let me put them down," said Red, rejoining Gloria on the bench again. "So, I'd wear the baby in a sling in order to have my hands free to work. I'd co-sleep with the baby at night so that I could nurse on my side without fully waking up."

"Your breasts must have gotten cold in the winter," teased Gloria, "always popped out of your nightgown."

"It was worth it just to not have to get up every time the baby would wake up," said Red, "because none of my boys were good sleepers. Unless they were snuggled up with me."

"Dmitri didn't mind?" Gloria asked in surprise, "none of my kids ever were allowed to sleep in my bed…" She let her sentence hang as a look of regret came over her face. Her posture stiffened as she thought about all of the cuddles and closeness she had missed out on when her kids had been little.

"Arturo, would have been furious if one of the boys ever crawled in with us…he didn't even like me going to them if they cried out in the night. He wanted me all to himself," Gloria said sadly.

"That must have been awful," Red said quietly.

"It wasn't always," Gloria shrugged, "and a lot of it was my own fault. They were my kids, in the end it was my decision."

"I suppose," Red said concernedly, "but you must have felt pressured to do things his way and he shouldn't have interfered. He wasn't even their father, so I don't think he deserved any say."

"Dmitri _was_ your sons' father though," Gloria laughed, "and I suspect you didn't give his thoughts much consideration when making the parenting decisions."

"Well, no," Red admitted, "but he preferred it that way anyways. He liked to leave the worrying up to me because he couldn't handle it. So, for many years, he bunked in the single bed we bought for Yuri, and the boys slept in the master bedroom with me."

"You're making me feel a bit sorry for the guy," Gloria sighed, "don't do that."

"We still had sex," Red said bluntly, "I'd visit."

"How romantic," Gloria rolled her eyes, "you couldn't make that sound more uncomfortable if you tried."

"I always hated having to share a bed with him," Red continued on, "he wouldn't stay on his side of the mattress and his toenails were always too long and would scratch me.

"You're ridiculous," Gloria laughed, getting to her feet, "and I'll be sure to give myself regular pedicures so that you'll have no objections about me."

"As if I ever could," Red said gruffly, accepting Gloria's extended hand. "There is no comparison between Dmitri and you, my love."

They began wandering down the block with no real purpose besides not wanting this day to end. However, after a few minutes, it seemed to Gloria that Red had a destination in mind. She led them out of the main market square and down a busy road lined with restaurants and stores. Gloria held a cloth bag of groceries in her outer hand, while her other was wound tightly over Red's forearm. Red was walking quickly, her eyes flashing all around her as though anxious something was about to jump out at them. Her rouge lips were pursed anxiously, as she perused her environment.

"Where are we going?" Gloria asked suspiciously, squeezing Red's arm a little tighter.

"I just wanted to see something," Red quietly replied.

"What's down here?" Gloria frowned, her eyes scanning all the different wayward businesses, "your old house?"

"How did you know that?" Red asked in amazement.

"Well, you used to live in this neighbourhood," said Gloria, "so it really wasn't that hard to guess. What do you do? Pop by to spy on the new owners every week after you finish your shopping?"

Red shook her head no, "I haven't been down this way since before I was arrested."

"You mean you haven't seen it since you got out?" Gloria widened her eyes in astonishment, "that surprises me. I thought it would have been one of the first places you'd go."

"It always was supposed to be," Red said honestly, "back before I discovered that Dmitri had closed the shop I had always believed that I would just move back here someday and recommence living the same life I had been living before."

She let out a throaty cackle, "of course, it might have been a bit crowded considering that Dmitri had that woman in my bed."

"Ohhhh," Gloria murmured sympathetically.

"I would love to know how he was planning to confess that to me," Red said, "if he hadn't died and the place had not sold. Would he have just continued living in our home with her, banished me to go live with one of the boys?"

"Well, in all fairness you had no intention of moving back with him before he died anyway," Gloria reasoned, "you had filed for divorce."

"Hmpf," Red huffed.

"I'm a little curious as to why Klara moved out of the place after Dmitri died, though" Gloria pressed on, "as wrong as it was, she had made that place her home for fifteen plus years. Maybe it would have been too hard to live there alone?"

"She couldn't have stayed even if she had wanted to," Red said coldly, "my name was on all of the paperwork. Yuri handled all of my affairs when I was inside and he put the place up for sale after Dmitri died. I got my half and the boys split their father's between them. As far as I know, Dmitri didn't leave her anything.

"Well, she is a widow," Gloria reasoned, "so I bet her late husband made sure that she was looked after. She didn't need Dmitri for that."

"Who cares?" said Red grumpily, "the fact that Dmitri didn't try to screw me out of what little we had, doesn't make up for betraying me."

"Of course, it doesn't," Gloria replied, patting her arm comfortingly, "and I'm sure that Dmitri lived in fear of the day that you came home, love."

"Good," Red said coldly. She stopped suddenly on the sidewalk and focused her eyes intensely across the road. Gloria halted mid-step and looked at Red with a scrutinizing stare.

"Right there," Red growled, pointing across the street, "that room upstairs that has the window open and the white curtains blowing? That was our bedroom."

Gloria followed Red's finger to look at an older two-story brown brick building. The downstairs had a large glass window, though the glare from the sun made it impossible to see through it. A sign reading "Nemo's" in bright red letters hung over the door. Above the restaurant, the apartment windows were all swung open to invite in the gentle summer breeze. A smile played on Gloria's lips as she pictured Red in this setting. Married to the first man she had ever dated and raising their three sons together. Back before Gloria had known her, when they were both still young and complete innocents in comparison to who they were today.

"Oh, good lord," Red blurted out, and Gloria turned back to look at her.

"What?" asked Gloria, raising her eyebrows.

"I can't believe Dmitri let the Italians take over it!" Red said spitefully, "idiot man."

"Business looks good," Gloria commented with a slight giggle, "and I thought Yuri was the one who sold the place? Talk to him.

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying this," Red said, looking utterly offended at Gloria making light of the situation. "I put my blood, sweat, and tears into that place, but Dmitri couldn't manage to keep it open. He failed at that, just like he failed at looking after our boys himself—had to bring in a mistress to do the job for him."

"Oh, dear," Gloria sighed, "I wouldn't have agreed to come down here if I knew it was going to upset you. And it makes sense that being back here would just make everything that happened with Dmitri seem so much more real. It's okay."

"I don't care about Dmitri," Red said quickly, not sounding at all convincing, "or what he did with _that_ woman, provided that she stays away from me as much as possible."

"If you say so," Gloria muttered, glancing sideways back at Red's old place, "do you want to go inside? Check the place out?"

"Absolutely not," Red scoffed.

"We could have lunch?" Gloria teased, "pasta?" She crawled her fingers playfully up Red's arm and to her neck.

Red rolled her eyes and turned to walk back the way they had come. Gloria clicked her tongue and followed after, placing her hand on the small of Red's back as she did. When Red still didn't smile, Gloria leaned up to kiss the corner of her mouth.

"Are you alright?" Gloria asked softly.

"I'm not upset," Red said strongly.

"Maybe a little angry," she conceded, after catching sight of the look of incredulity on Gloria's face.

"You have the right to be," Gloria said, linking their arms as they walked.

"I wouldn't change where I am right now," Red smiled at her, and a look of relief swept over Gloria's face, "it's just…it feels like being violated, knowing that Dmitri had her in our home. That was the place where we raised our sons and lived as husband and wife…"

"It's hard to move past it when he's not around to confront and get closure from," Gloria said softly.

"We were never very happy though," Red admitted.

"That's not an acceptable excuse for his dishonesty though," Gloria replied, "it doesn't make cheating okay."

"You're right, as always," Red sighed.

"See? What would you do without me?" Gloria asked teasingly.

"Honestly, I have no idea," Red said seriously.

"So, do you want to go somewhere else while we're here?" Gloria asked, pulling her phone lazily out of the back pocket of her shorts, "maybe we could—oh, shit!"

"What's wrong?" Red frowned. Gloria's eyes bulged and her face paled as she stared at her phone.

"It's almost four," Gloria said frantically, stuffing the phone back into her pocket, "I thought we still had another hour."

"Do you need to go home?" Red asked calmly.

"I should have already been there," Gloria said distressingly, "I completely lost track of the time. The boys are going to be home from school any minute and I won't be there!"

"Well, let's go now," Red said, "you won't be more than a half an hour behind them. Nobody is going to get upset over that."

It had been very important to Gloria that she be ready and waiting every day when Julio and Benny came home from school. Not because they needed her there but because she wanted to spend time with them and get them used to having her around again. It had been especially obvious to Gloria how much Benny appreciated it. Julio would sometimes get home late if he went out with friends or had something at school he needed to do late, but Benny always hurried home to see her every day without fail. She hated to think that he would feel let down by her absence. Gloria knew things were in a very vulnerable place right now between them. And it wouldn't be the first time that she disappointed him.

The apartment was quiet when Gloria let herself and Red in. They could hear the hum from the television and it was the living room that Gloria headed for as soon as she'd taken her sandals off.

"Hey, bud, sorry I'm late," said Gloria.

Benny was sitting on the couch with his feet resting on the coffee table. He still was wearing a dirty old pair of running shoes. He didn't bother to answer her, but kept his eyes glued to the television screen.

"I just lost track of the time," Gloria admitted, "we were doing some shopping at the market. We thought maybe we'd have corn on the cob and some garden salad for supper tonight?

"I'm not hungry," Benny said stiffly.

"Maybe not now, but you will be soon," Gloria told him lightly.

"Maybe you're wrong," Benny rolled his eyes, "you don't know me."

"Benjamin Mendoza, that's not fair," Gloria said quietly, trying to hide how much his words had stung her, "maybe I don't know everything about you, but I'm learning more every day."

Benny widened his eyes in a look of exasperation and nodded his head sarcastically.

"How was school today?" Gloria asked lightly.

Benny shrugged impassively.

Gloria took a deep breath and walked closer. She tapped his shoe meaningfully, which earned her a harsh glare.

"Can you take those off inside, Benny?" she asked patiently. Benny kicked them off and flung them off across the room with such force that they hit the wall.

"That was not necessary!" Gloria snapped, but Benny didn't even react. He just turned back to the television and stared numbly at the screen.

"I'm sorry I was late," Gloria sighed, trying to regain control over her temper.

"You don't need to be here if you have better things to do," Benny said coldly, "I'm pretty much used to taking care of myself since Lourdes is always gone and you've been in prison for the past eight years. You're just trying to feel important by thinking it matters whether or not you're here, but we've been managing fine."

Gloria wavered slightly on the spot and swallowed the lump in her throat to keep her tears, and her temper, at bay. Benny's distance was an obvious result of her failing to do what she said she would. He was unbending and intolerant, but it came from a lifetime of disappointments and adults who had shattered his trust.

"You're my baby," Gloria said emotionally, and Benny rolled his eyes, "even if you don't need me, I still want to be there."

"Whatever," said Benny, getting to his feet and walking towards his bedroom.

"Wait, Benny!" Gloria called, following after him. She was about to walk under the threshold of the door when it slammed promptly I her face.

"You almost hit me!" Gloria said angrily, swinging the door open with force.

"I didn't know you were right behind me," Benny retorted. He had thrown himself onto his bed.

Julio, who had been sitting cross legged on his bed surrounded by papers, looked anxiously back and forth between his brother and mother. Then, wordlessly, he shoved his school things back into his backpack and left the room.

"Hi," Julio greeted Red quietly, walking into the kitchen.

"Hi," Red said back, "I was just putting away some groceries for your mother. I left some corn here, you could have that and a salad for supper. Do you want me to start it for you before I go?"

"So, I guess we're not having supper at your place tonight," Julio said quietly.

"I don't think your brother would agree to come," Red said quietly, "he seems pretty upset."

"Benny's always upset," Julio said tiredly, "it gets exhausting sometimes."

"Well, it's not fair to you," Red replied, putting the last of the groceries away. She shut the fridge door. The sounds of Gloria and Benny's voices were getting so loud that Red could now hear them from the kitchen. It was very awkward. She felt awful for keeping Gloria out too late and not noticing the time. Now there was nothing she could do to help with the situation besides make herself scarce. She wasn't wrong to assume that seeing her would only antagonize Benny more.

"Okay," she breathed, eager to escape the confines of the apartment, "I'm going to go home now, unless you want me to start supper for you?"

"No, that's okay," Julio laughed weakly, it was obvious how eager she was to get out of there. Not that he could blame her.

"I think I can handle throwing corn into a pot and boiling water," he hesitated, "It's just…"

"Just, what?" Red prompted.

"Well, I don't know," Julio shrugged, "I was just going to go to Starbucks or somewhere to finish my paper. I won't be able to concentrate here."

"Do you want to come with me?" Red asked him, "you can work at my place. You could even spend the night if you'd like."

Julio nodded and a slight smile appeared on his face. It was exactly what he had hoped she would offer.

"Just go tell your mother," Red said.

"If you're going to be like that, then just stay in here!" Gloria snapped, slamming the bedroom door with almost the same amount of force as Benny had used. She walked over to the couch and threw herself down, covering her head with her hands.

"Mom?" Julio said questioningly, walking into the living room, "I'm going to go to Galina's apartment tonight. I have a final paper to finish and she said I could work there. Okay?"

"I think that's a very good idea," Gloria sighed, she motioned with her hand to the closed door, "I'm sorry about this. I don't know why he needs to overreact about such a small thing."

"Yeah, well," Julio hesitated, "I'll talk to you later."

"I love you," Gloria told him.

"I love you too," Julio replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Red and Julio were to be disappointed if they had been hoping her place would bring some quiet. The sounds of laughter and chatter could be heard before Red even opened the door. At least the imminent chaos was of a happy kind though, since Julio had been so eager to escape the conflict of his own home. When they entered the place, it became apparent that Nicky had decided to throw herself an impromptu little gathering.

She was lounging in the arm chair with her little dog, Daisy, on her lap, and Lorna squeezed in beside her. Piper and Alex were both sitting cross-legged on the sofa. Four glasses rested on the coffee table, with not a coaster in sight. Red's eyes widened at the sight of her stove and countertops. Everything had been sparkling clean when she'd left for work that morning, but in her absence the kitchen surfaces had been buried beneath what had to be every pot and pan in the apartment.

"Hey, Ma," Nicky said brightly, "hey, Julio, what's up?"

"What's up?" Red echoed, dropping her purse onto the little table by the door, "how about, what is all of this?" She pointed at the mess of her kitchen.

"I made us all a snack," Nicky shrugged, "I'll clean it up."

"That's what you said about your bedroom two months ago," Red rolled her eyes. She slipped out of her shoes and went to scrutinize the situation more closely. Carrying her grocery bags, Red set them on the little free space available in the kitchen. Julio followed along at her heel and sat himself at the table as he observed the scene. Flashing Nicky a contemptuous look, Red put the stopper in the sink and turned on the water. She couldn't start preparing supper until everything was returned to its right state.

"You're the same as Alex," Piper said to Nicky, "I don't understand how the two of you can keep your rooms so disorderly. It just makes it look as though your life is chaotic."

"Umm, our lives _are_ chaotic," Alex nudged Piper playfully.

"But never boring," Lorna said cheerfully.

"Exactly," said Nicky, "life is too short to waste worrying about inconsequential things like a little bit of clutter."

"So, how many hours of my life do you think I've wasted cleaning up after you?" Red asked sharply.

"You're the one who insists upon keeping a constantly neat house," Nicky protested, "I already told you to leave the dishes. I'll do them."

"When?" Alex raised her eyebrows, "tomorrow? Next week?"

"Tonight," Nicky retorted, "when I get back from the movies…"

"And in the meantime, we just won't have any supper because there is no room for me to work," Red said tiredly, "or any clean pots or pans to use."

"Well, you don't have to cook for us," said Nicky, "we're not really hungry. We'll just eat at the movie theatre."

"Don't any of you girls have jobs to go to?" asked Red, "you seem to have done nothing but lounge around here today…"

"We all got the same day off," Piper replied.

"Such a happy coincidence," Lorna said happily, leaning against Nicky affectionately.

"Nicky?" Red asked sternly, walking over to the fridge with sudsy hands so that she could look at the displayed calendar that she kept updated with both of their schedules.

"What?" Nicky asked with a playful smile, "I wasn't going to go to work when these three clowns all managed to have the day off together. My boss will be relieved to learn tomorrow that my brush with the flu today seems to have been only the twenty-four-hour type."

"I would have been really upset if our boss had called to ask me to cover for you because you're sick," Piper pursed her lips.

"That's why we told you not to answer your phone," Lorna reminded her.

Red sighed and glanced over at Julio who was still sitting at the table, staring intently at his phone. He looked up when he felt her eyes upon him.

"Where's Duke?" Julio asked, referring to Red's dog whom he adored. He had never had a dog of his own before, but he loved hers. He was always taking him for walks or teaching him to do tricks. Whenever he slept over at Red's, Duke always would come sleep with him.

"I think he went to sleep on Ma's bed," Nicky told him.

"You mean he went to hide," Red corrected her, "poor guy just needed to escape the insanity in his home today."

"I'm going to go see him," Julio announced, trudging off with his backpack to the peaceful confines of Red's bedroom. He hadn't been expecting anybody to be there, besides maybe Nicky. He didn't feel like being around a group of people right now. Red watched his back concernedly as he left the room, but then recommenced washing the stack of dishes without a word.

She breathed a sigh of relief, once everything was adequately cleaned to her standards. Adding some butter to a pan on the stove, Red went to the fridge to retrieve the salmon that she had decided to make for her and Julio. Since it was only the two of them, Red didn't see the point in making the large supper that she had initially intended to that day. She boiled some water in a pot for rice, and then hovered over the stove as she listened to the girls chatting in the living room.

"We're going to get going," Nicky announced, standing up and walking over to talk to Red, a few minutes later.

"Okay," Red said agreeably.

"I thought Gloria was coming over tonight with the boys," said Nicky, a questioning look on her face.

"She had some things to do at her home," Red replied. She flipped the salmon over to cook on its other side. The top half was done to perfection.

"Something like dealing with Benny?" Nicky asked bluntly. She began picking through the bag of groceries that Red had placed on the counter when she'd come in. Red nodded stiffly, but did not elaborate. She tapped the spatula against the stove as she waited for the salmon to finish cooking.

"What happened now?" Nicky asked, taking a big bite out of a juicy strawberry.

"Gloria got home after him," Red whispered, so that the other girls would not overhear, "and it became a big thing."

"Why?" asked Nicky, popping another strawberry into her mouth.

"I don't really know," Red said honestly, "I suppose he was just counting on her being there."

She eyed Nicky warily, "and will you stop eating all of my berries?" she scolded, "I want to bake a pie tomorrow."

"They're my favourite," Nicky replied matter-of-factly. Red just shook her head with a stern expression upon her face.

"I think Benny needs his mom more than he even realizes," Nicky told her, ignoring Red's agitation. She plucked another strawberry, "he probably just needs more attention."

"I surmised as much," Red replied, "but it's not fair to Gloria's other son who deserves some undivided attention as well."

Red often felt sorry for Julio and how he always seemed to be cast aside to account for his brother. It wasn't really anybody's fault, but she hated watching him make himself almost invisible because he felt like he was in the way. She loved spending time with him and enjoyed the place she had earned in his life, but she knew that she wasn't his mother and never really could be. Gloria was who he needed to connect with, but it was a hard thing to do when Benny was so unwilling to share. Sighing, Red flipped the salmon over to check if it was finished. Satisfied, she transferred it to the two dinner plates she had taken out for her and Julio.

"Yeah," Nicky shrugged, "but it will work itself out." She dug back into the bag once again.

"Ouch!" she yelped, withdrawing her hand. Red had smacked her behind with the spatula she had been holding and it was still hot after resting in the sizzling pan.

"I told you no more," Red said calmly, ignoring the way Lorna, Piper, and Alex had stopped talking amongst themselves and turned to watch them.

"You could have burned me," Nicky complained, "crazy woman. That's assault."

"I'd hit you too if you kept munching on my food after saying you weren't hungry," Alex told Nicky with a smirk.

Red turned back to the stove as if nothing had happened. Glaring, Nicky reached into the cupboard for a can of the wet dog food she fed to Daisy every night for dinner. She scooped it into her little porcelain pink dish and kissed the little dog lovingly goodbye. Then she went to put her shoes on and get ready to leave.

After saying goodbye to everyone, Red heaved a deep sigh when the door finally closed behind them. The apartment was blissfully quiet. Red collected the glasses that the girls had left on the coffee table when they left. She deposited them into the sink and then went to her bedroom to inform Julio that the coast was clear. It had been obvious to her that he hadn't felt like being in a living room full of people at the moment. He often would retreat into himself at the first sign of tension or hostility, so after what had happened between Benny and his mom, it was no surprise that he hadn't felt much like socializing. Red would never fully comprehend how much her opening her home to Julio and giving him a place to escape to, was appreciated.

She rapped lightly on the door and then opened it slowly. Julio was sitting cross-legged on her bed with his books scattered around and his laptop opened in front of him. He looked completely at home. The dog's head was resting loyally in his lap. Red couldn't help but smile at the sight of them together.

"Feel like eating?" she asked from the doorway, "I made us supper. Nicky and her friends left for the movies."

"Sure," Julio said agreeably, sliding off the bed. He followed her back into the kitchen, leaving all of his things right where they were.

"We can eat in front of the tv, if you want," Red said, passing him his plate, "since it's just the two of us tonight."

"Great," Julio said enthusiastically.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked.

"Just water, please," Julio said politely, "thank you."

Red poured him a glass and one for herself. She carried them over to the coffee table and set them down on top of coasters.

"Look at those marks," Red clicked her tongue disapprovingly, examining the spots on the table where Nicky and the others had placed their glasses, "you would never do such a thing, would you, honey?"

"Never," Julio grinned. Red went back to the kitchen sink to wet a cloth and then wipe down the coffee table.

Once she was satisfied, she sat down on the couch next to him with her plate in her lap. Julio had turned on the television to a show he liked, and they watched it in companionable silence while they ate their dinner.

"No, go away," Red scolded Daisy, when she came over to whimper at her feet. Daisy barked.

"Your mommy has you too spoiled," Red told the dog, "you just had your dinner."

Daisy gave her a reproachful glare and sulked out of the room, continually pausing to look back over her shoulder and give Red a dirty look.

"I can do the dishes," Julio offered, once they had finished eating.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Red replied, standing up and taking the plate from his hand.

"I don't have anything to do," she reassured him, "but I know you have work to do. Why don't you go get started now? That way you won't need to stay up too late tonight and be tired tomorrow."

"Okay," Julio said pleasantly.

"You can work in my room again if you want, or you can come out here and keep me company," Red suggested calmly, wanting him to know that whatever he felt like doing right now was alright by her.

"I'll be right back," Julio replied automatically. He went to her bedroom to fetch his things and then returned to the living room. He placed his laptop on the coffee table and sat down on the couch with a book in his lap. Red finished cleaning up what little needed to be done in the kitchen. She thought about phoning Gloria, but decided to leave her be. Instead, she settled down in the arm chair with the book she was currently reading.

"That's funny," Julio noted, a few minutes later.

"What is?" asked Red, peering over her book at him.

"The book you're reading is by the same author that I'm writing this essay on," Julio replied, "Yann Martel."

"Hmm," Red murmured, smiling slightly, "have you read 'Beatrice and Virgil?" she asked, referring to the book she was currently half-way through.

"No, my paper's on 'Life of Pi'," Julio replied, "did you read that one?"

"I did about a year ago," Red replied, "I really liked it."

"It's a good movie too," Julio said informatively.

"I've never seen the movie," Red replied.

"We could watch it sometime," said Julio, "I have it on DVD."

"That sounds like a plan to me," smiled Red.

"Since you read the book, maybe you could read over this paper for me when I'm done?" said Julio, a note of hesitation in his voice, "just to make sure that it makes sense."

"I'd love to," Red told him, "whenever you're ready."

"I'm almost done it," said Julio, "I just have to edit it a little more."

"Take your time," Red said easily, "I'm not going anywhere."

The phone ringing interrupted the quiet a few minutes later. Red marked her page and quickly answered it once she saw that it was Gloria.

"Hey, you," Gloria said in greeting, "how's Julio?"

"Good," Red replied, "he's sitting right beside me working on his paper."

"Oh, that's great," said Gloria, "and it's so nice you let him stay there when he needs to get out. We're all so lucky to have you. Is he going to spend the night?"

"I don't know," said Red, "I told him he could if he wanted to."

"Could do what?" Julio cut in, looking up from his paper.

Red moved the phone from her ear momentarily, "your mom wanted to know whether you were going to stay here tonight or go home. You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

Julio shrugged, "yeah, I probably will stay." He didn't feel like dealing with his brother right now when he was in the middle of his final week of school and had an important paper due soon.

Red smiled, "so, how is Benny?" she asked into the phone.

Gloria gave out a shaky laugh, "being impossible. But it's all my fault anyway."

"It was an accident," Red reminded her, "and a pretty minor one at that. He's just upset because he really wants you right now. But that isn't your fault."

"Honestly, I think he may have separation anxiety and not even know it," Gloria whispered into the phone.

"I think that actually makes a lot of sense," Red replied softly, "I was thinking the same thing this evening."

"You were?" asked Gloria, unsure whether she wanted Red to agree with her or not. She didn't like thinking about all the ways her sins had negatively impacted her son. Yet, she didn't want to deny things and fail to help him either.

"I've noticed things too," Red replied, "even towards me."

"Like how?" asked Gloria.

"Well…" Red noticed that Julio had stopped typing and was listening intently to her half of the conversation. Feeling that she shouldn't be discussing his brother so candidly in front of him, she winked and got to her feet.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Red said, "keep working on your paper."

She stepped outside onto the porch and leaned on the rail. The horizon was pink as the sun began to set. It was nearing nine and still bright out. It was one of the reasons she loved summer. She brought her phone back to her ear.

"Do you remember that night back in January when I had to pick up the boys from that concert?" Red asked.

"Well, yeah," said Gloria, an edge in her tone, "but only because Nicky let me in on your secret."

"I didn't want to get him into trouble," Red said apologetically, "because I felt like he had just started to trust me. I didn't want to ruin it."

"I know," sighed Gloria, "but still…what's your point?"

"He was drunk," Red said, "so he wasn't acting like he normally would. But sometimes a little alcohol is good for getting people to open up. Anyway, he followed me around and said he didn't want me to leave him alone. Didn't want to go to bed so I needed to sit with him until he fell asleep. He was just behaving like a very different boy than the one I was used to seeing. I think he's scared more than anything."

"Well, right now he just seems angry," said Gloria, "I gave up trying to talk and now he's just watching tv."

"Is Lourdes home?" asked Red, "it's pretty late."

"No," said Gloria, "but she's not at work. She went to see this friend of hers who practices all the same natural remedies as she does. Says she's been feeling so exhausted lately and needed a cleansing. I think she just didn't want to come home when I told her what was happening with Benny."

"Well, she's had her fair share of encounters with him in moods like this," Red said wryly, "I've seen it. I suppose she's burned out."

"Yeah," scoffed Gloria.

"Do you want to talk to Julio?" asked Red, "he's been working on his paper but he told me he's nearly done."

"Sure," said Gloria, "has he said anything to you?"

"Not really," said Red, "he's been a bit quiet but I think he's just getting tired of Benny always stealing all the attention with his antics. Julio is such a good brother and I don't think he's very good at asking for what he needs. Benny is always so loud about his dissatisfaction that it forces us to pay attention. Do you think there's any way you could take Julio out on Saturday, just the two of you?"

"I can try," Gloria said skeptically, "I'd love nothing more. But what happens if Benny freaks out?"

"I don't know," sighed Red, "you've got your hands full, love. Two such different boys. But you know I want to support you anyway I can, right?"

"I know," Gloria said, "the trouble is that Benny doesn't even go anywhere. Julio has friends and is always doing things, but Benny dropped everything. Does he even have friends?"

"He does," said Red, "but I think he keeps to himself a lot too."

"I was like that," Gloria replied, "I didn't like people much growing up."

"And you do now?" teased Red.

"Well, I've broadened the circle a little bit," Gloria replied.

"Benny was hanging out with some older boys at school who were getting him into trouble," said Red knowingly, "but I think that's done with, thank goodness."

"At least that's something," said Gloria, "I know he used to smoke pot with some older kids, but Lourdes doesn't think he does that anymore."

"Umm," Red hesitated, "I don't know if he does anymore…but the night that he slept over here after the concert? I found a baggie of weed in his pocket. I flushed it though."

"You kept that quiet!" Gloria exclaimed.

"Well, telling you wouldn't have done achieved anything anyway," Red replied, "and I have never see him high and he's home all the time, so I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah," said Gloria, a bit breathlessly, "just…promise me that you won't keep secrets about my kids from me ever again? I know why you did it before, but you shouldn't have. You'd lose your mind if you found out somebody did that to you."

"I promise," said Red, "that's why I'm telling you now."

"Good," said Gloria.

"Do you want to talk to Julio?" Red asked her again.

"Yeah," Gloria said again, "okay."

Red went inside and back over to Julio.

"Do you want to talk to your mother?" she asked, holding out the phone.

"Sure," nodded Julio, "you can read my paper now, if you still want to." He placed his computer in her lap after she had sat down.

"Just scroll down with the arrows to keep reading," he instructed, "you know how to use a computer, right?"

"Of course, I do," Red said, looking affronted.

"Just checking," Julio laughed. He placed the phone up to his ear, "hey, mom."

For the next several minutes, Julio chatted with Gloria while Red read through his essay. When she had finished, she went back to begin again. This time she paused a handful of times to correct some minor grammatical errors she had noticed, but that was it.

"You made me want to read the book again," Red said, once Julio had hung up with Gloria.

"You think it's okay?" Julio asked hesitatingly.

"Definitely," Red said, "I really like how you explored the theme of storytelling and how stories share important ideas. My favourite part was your line about how different versions of the same story can all be correct. How one version may be factually true, but the other has an emotional truth that the other cannot approach. That's very wise."

"That's one of the reasons I like reading," said Julio, "it's so much more than just entertainment."

"You can lose yourself and find yourself all at the same time," Red nodded, "never underestimate the power of a good book."

Julio took back his computer, "so, there isn't anything you'd change about it?" he asked.

"Maybe add a little bit to the conclusion?" Red suggested, "the last line ends it a little abruptly. Otherwise, I think it's really great."

"True," Julio nodded, "I can do that."

While Julio put the finishing touches on his paper, Red told him she was going to take the dogs out for their regular nighttime walk around the block. When she returned, she hung the leashes on the hook and changed the water in their dish. Then she went to take her shower and get changed for bed. She needed to be up early tomorrow morning and would be at work all day. She felt tired just thinking about it.

Nicky hadn't said whether or not she was coming home that night, but if she happened to turn up she could just sleep with her, Red decided. She wasn't going to have Julio sleep on the couch when there was a perfectly good bed he could have. She went into Nicky's unkempt room and moved the pile of clothes on the bed over to the dresser. Then she kicked a clear path from the bed to the door.

"I'm going to sleep," Red told Julio, coming back to the living room, "but you can sleep in Nicky's room tonight. Towels, everything you need, are in the bathroom. You know the drill."

"I'll probably turn in soon too," Julio told her, "I finished the conclusion and I think I can hand it in tomorrow. My teacher said that we'd get a couple bonus points for submitting it before the deadline."

"I love how you plan ahead," Red replied, "not that you need extra credit, because I think it is really good, but that's nice to have."

"Thanks," said Julio shyly.

About to retreat to her room, Red changed her mind and went to sit down on the couch next to Julio once again.

"We haven't really had the chance to talk much, since your mom came home," said Red, "but are things going okay? Are you happy?"

"Yeah…" said Julio, "I mean, besides today, Benny's been much happier so that's g—"

"I didn't ask about Benny," Red said meaningfully, "I asked about you."

"Well, I'm fine," said Julio, "obviously things are better now."

"They're better, but it's still a big change," said Red logically, "I just don't want you to feel forgotten with everything that is happening."

"I don't," Julio said calmly, "I wish Benny would stop trying to pawn jobs off on me and wanting mom all to himself constantly, but whatever, that's just the way he is."

"He's not going to stop if he keeps getting away with it," said Red, "next time he tries to get you to cover for him or do his chores, just say no. If he wants to get mad, let him get mad. He's not a baby."

"I know," agreed Julio, "but he's my little brother so I've always sort of had to look out for him."

"Well, Vasily is the baby out of my kids," said Red, "and me, Dmitri, and his brothers all coddled him much longer than we should have. And then it's a nightmare when you finally decide enough is enough."

Julio laughed, "Vasily turned out okay, though."

"He has a good wife to keep him in line," Red replied with a smile.

"I just wanted to make sure you know that it's okay to ask for things," Red reminded him, "just because Benny is more expressive, doesn't mean that his feelings matter more."

"Okay," said Julio.

"Okay," said Red, getting to her feet, "now I'm really going to go to sleep."

"Goodnight, Galina," said Julio.

As though it were the most natural of things, Red leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"I love you," she said sincerely, "goodnight."


	8. Chapter 8

The tension and anger in the apartment was absolutely what Gloria had been trying to avoid since her release. The more tumultuous aspects of their relationship had been temporarily overpassed by their mutual desire for closeness, but they would be impossible to ignore forever. If it hadn't been her lateness triggering Benny's angst today, then it would have been something else tomorrow. Gloria had missed her sons for so long and she didn't want to waste any of their time together fighting. She knew she deserved the anger though, and addressing the issues was the only way they could fully reconnect.

The hardest part about Benny's harsh words that afternoon was just how right he had been about everything. He and Julio were used to taking care of themselves and had survived many years without her. However, Gloria felt that Benny in particular had demonstrated just how much he wanted and craved her attention. Perhaps she didn't know them as well as she should, but she loved them more than anything in the world.

This only served to strengthen the guilt Gloria was currently feeling for losing her temper at Benny. She knew she needed to apologize and let him know that his feelings were validated. He had to contend with so many things that never should have happened. Gloria felt like the worst mother in the world because she knew she was completely responsible for it all. She had never wanted anything more than for her children to be happy and healthy, but her daughters were estranged from her and both of her sons were struggling. Julio at least had Red's home to escape to when he needed a break from his life, but Benny had really isolated himself from everybody. He had no safe place and the sadness continually expressed in the depths of his eyes haunted her.

After Julio and Red had left, Gloria had gone into the kitchen to quietly prepare the corn and salad. Benny stayed in his bedroom straight through, only emerging to make himself a plate and then wordlessly plop down in front of the television. Gloria hadn't wanted to start an argument by insisting he sit with her, so she'd eaten at the table by herself. Lourdes had called to ask how things were and whether Gloria would mind if she went out with a friend for the evening. Although the silence in the apartment was awkward, Gloria reasoned it was probably a blessing that she and Benny would be alone for a little bit longer.

Phoning Red had given her a little more time cool down, but once she hung up she knew she couldn't put off talking to him any longer. She walked purposefully into the living room and sat down on the sofa right beside her son. He eyed her uncertainly for a moment but gave no other indication of how he felt. Gloria glanced at his dinner dishes, which were stacked on the coffee table. By the wall lay the running shoes Benny had kicked off after she had gotten home. They were still in the same spot because Gloria adamantly refused to put them away for him. She would never be able to tolerate that level of disrespect from her son.

"Do you want to turn that off so we can talk?" Gloria asked, while Benny kept his eyes fixated upon the television set. He had been watching back to back episodes of "Cops" ever since he had come out of his bedroom.

"Benny, turn that off please," Gloria said more firmly, when he failed to respond.

"Why?" asked Benny, "because it brings back bad memories?"

"Because I want to talk to you," Gloria said, a touch of anger creeping into her tone.

"So, talk then," Benny replied, "if it's about my shoes, I will put them away when I get up. You don't need to nag me."

"Well, that's good, I guess," Gloria sighed, "although you know better than to kick them against a wall. There's a mark where they hit, so have fun figuring out how to buff that out tomorrow."

Benny showed no indication of having heard her. Gloria leaned resignedly back into the couch and stared forlornly at the television with him for a few minutes.

"You can't act like that," Gloria broke the silence between them, "but I shouldn't have yelled at you either."

"Whatever," Benny smirked, "it's not like it was the first time you yelled or anything."

"No, it's not," Gloria sighed, "and I'm sorry. I suppose I can't scold you about having a bad temper when it's something you clearly inherited from me."

"Not unless you feel like being hypocritical," Benny replied. "And if we're being technical, you don't really have the right to criticize anything I do. I mean, is anything as bad as being sent to prison?"

"Just because I f**ked up, doesn't mean that it's okay for you to go down a bad road too," Gloria said quietly, "I want you to do better than me. Learn from my mistakes. I don't want you to ever have to know regret the way that I do."

"Well, don't worry," said Benny, "I don't plan on getting arrested."

"Do you plan on telling me what's bothering you so I can help?" asked Gloria.

"Nothing is bothering me," Benny lied, "except when people don't keep their promises."

"I'm sorry I did that," Gloria replied, "but do you believe me when I tell you it was an accident?"

"Yeah," Benny shrugged, "it doesn't really matter anyway, though. It was just annoying."

"It does matter," Gloria corrected him, "I have so many years of not being here to welcome you home from school to make up for. Obviously, once I start working my schedule will get a little fuller, but nothing is more important to me than spending time with you and Julio."

"Julio just left again," Benny said flatly, "he always does that."

"I think he needed a break from us," Gloria said honestly, "he'll be back tomorrow. You'll see him at school."

"You know I would have still gone over there for dinner tonight," Benny said bluntly, "you're the one who just swooped in and started fighting with me."

"By asking you not to put dirty shoes on the furniture?" Gloria raised her eyebrows, "come on, Benny, you know better than that."

"By trying to act like such a mom!" Benny said loudly. "You don't have the right to come back after eight years in prison and try and tell me what to do. I don't have to listen to you. You lost your authority the first time I saw you in a prison jumpsuit."

Gloria was rendered momentarily speechless. Her son had the uncanny ability of saying exactly what would cause her the most pain, while at the same time making his argument indisputable. As much as she may wish to repent for the sins of the past, she had essentially revoked her rights as a mother. Her poor choices had resulted in the forced abandonment of her children and there was no coming back from that. Benny avoided her gaze and stared down at his lap. It was hard to tell if he felt good about finally saying what was on his mind, or guilty for hurting her feelings.

"I see what you mean," Gloria finally said. Benny glanced up at her in surprise. That was not the reaction he had expected to get.

"You're not a little boy anymore," Gloria continued, "and you don't have to obey me. I haven't parented you since you were eight years old and I'm not ignorant enough to assume that we can just pick up where we left off. I'd be happy if we could just be friends at this point. Is that possible?"

"I guess," Benny shrugged.

"I do expect you to show me respect though," Gloria added sternly, "which includes not storming off and slamming doors. And I need you to be polite to Galina when she's around."

"I haven't done anything to her!" Benny said indignantly.

"I know," Gloria said, "it just makes me sad that you used to be close with her and aren't anymore."

"She's a liar," Benny said flatly, "I told you I don't like that and in her case, it _wasn't_ an accident."

"No, it wasn't," Gloria agreed, "she was selfish and rude, which is something everyone is guilty of sometimes. She did apologize though, right? That has to count for something."

"It did," Benny replied, "I'm not mad."

"I just wish you would give her another chan—"

Benny reached for the remote control and turned up the volume on the television, effectively blocking out the rest of his mother's words.

"Come on, Benny," Gloria exclaimed irritatingly, "turn that down."

"Then stop talking about that," Benny retorted, begrudgingly lowering the television volume.

Gloria took a deep breath, "you used to like her," she reminded him weakly, "you spent a lot of time with her and Julio."

"I used to like Arturo too," Benny said brusquely, "and we both know how that turned out."

"This isn't the same thing," Gloria replied, "not even close."

"Whatever," muttered Benny.

Gloria eyed him warily. There was such tension and anger in his face. She could tell that what he was expressing was barely scratching the surface of what he was feeling. Benny had been carrying around a lot of baggage for years, with nobody available to help lighten the load. There were so many things that should have been discussed that had just been swept under the rug because there was no time. Prison visits was dreary enough without spending them drudging up painful stories of the past.

"We've never really talked about Arturo," Gloria said softly, "we never had the chance."

"Why would you want to talk about him?" asked Benny bitterly.

"I don't really," Gloria admitted, "talking about him is still pretty hard for me, but you brought him up."

"I only brought him up to make a point," Benny said shortly.

"Maybe if we were more open about him, we might be able to move past it," Gloria suggested.

"I am past it," Benny replied, "that was a long time ago."

"I think I'm over it too," Gloria said, "but then something will happen that triggers my anxiety and I realize I haven't really let it go yet."

"Oh," Benny said quietly, "well, that's sad."

"I think part of the reason I'm so happy right now is because I'm being treated the way everybody deserves to be treated," Gloria said frankly, "it took me far too long to accept that how Arturo acted towards me was abusive. Lourdes was always trying to convince me to end things and I just didn't want to hear it."

"What changed?" Benny asked.

"When he hit you," Gloria said, reaching up to run her fingers through Benny's dark locks. She was relieved that he let her.

"He didn't _mean_ to hit me," Benny reminded her, "I just got in the way when I tried to make him leave you alone."

"Which is a position I never should have put you in," Gloria said regretfully, "that's my fault." She brought her hand down to his shoulder and squeezed the tense muscles there.

"Seeing you hurt was the worst thing that has ever happened to me," said Gloria, "because it's my job to protect you and I failed to do that. Even before things ever got physical with you, I made you and Julio witnesses to all of that conflict. I wanted to end things but I was terrified to rock the boat. I thought he would get really dangerous if I left."

Benny leaned his weight against her and Gloria wrapped her arm around his shoulder. It felt so good to just hold her son tightly. It gave her the confidence to continue with this conversation.

"The reason I committed fraud, was putting away all that money…" Gloria took a shaky breath, "that was because I was going to use it to run away with you guys—and Tia too, of course. I wanted to go start over some place where he wouldn't be able to find us.I needed money to do that."

"I didn't know that," said Benny slowly.

"You were too young when all of this was happening," Gloria replied, "there wasn't really a right time to tell you before today. I think you're old enough to understand now, though."

Benny stiffly nodded his head and then rested it against her shoulder.

"I have some good memories of him," Benny glanced up at her, "he could be really fun and he'd do things with us that you wouldn't."

"You mean he was like a father?" asked Gloria, "I suppose he was the closest thing to one you've ever known."

"I guess," Benny conceded, "but before that I hated him. I thought he was creepy, the way he was always hanging on you and touching you in front of us. And he never went home. He was always spending the night and it was so awkward. I remember that time I had a bad dream or something and went to your room—he was there and told me I had to go back to my bed, and you didn't say anything. Didn't even bother to walk back with me. I laid there alone for hours listening to the two of you laughing together on the other side of the wall"

"I don't remember that," Gloria said honestly.

"Maybe you blocked it out," Benny said, "because it happened more than once. He was always in the way and Julio and I were just forced to sit there like uncomfortable inconveniences. Then, just because he'd take us to the park or out to play ball after, you'd act like we were supposed to be grateful that he was around."

"He did do a lot of good for us," Gloria said, "he wasn't pure evil. Very few people are."

"No, he wasn't," Benny conceded, "and I always blamed you more than him for how much everything sucked after you got together. You were the one who just forgot you had kids because you were too into him to care anymore."

"I guess I just didn't realize how much everything was affecting you and your brother," said Gloria, "which was another mistake I made—I've made a lot of them. I wouldn't do that again though. You guys come first for me, always."

"If you say so," Benny replied. Gloria pressed her lips to the top of his head.

"Moms get scared too, sometimes," she said quietly. "We try to pretend we don't because we're supposed to be strong, but at least neither of us ever needs to be afraid of him again. He's gone."

"Do you think he's in hell?" Benny asked frankly.

"I don't know," Gloria gave a shaky sort of laugh, "even after everything he did, I don't like to think of him spending eternity in hell. I'm sure God had a lot to say to him though. I still remember him in my prayers."

"You do?" Benny furrowed his brow, "why would you do that?"

"Because whatever he was, I did love him," Gloria replied, "and I also know there must have been some sort of sickness in his head for him to act how he did. Praying for the repose of his soul just feels right to me."

"I guess that's nice of you," Benny said, "one time when Tia took us to church after he died, I asked if we could light a candle for him. She said no."

"Lourdes is a very generous woman, but I don't think she'll ever find it in her heart to forgive Arturo for how he hurt us," said Gloria, "she'll carry that grudge to the grave. That being said, she should have allowed you guys to grieve the way you needed to. Next time we go to church, we could light a candle for him—you, me, and Julio."

"Maybe," Benny said skeptically.

Gloria yawned and crossed one leg over the other. Talking about all of this was emotionally taxing but it didn't feel futile. She thought they were getting somewhere. It broke her heart to realize how much devastation she had caused in ways she hadn't even realized until now, but it needed to be said. It was the truth, and Gloria knew she was going to carry this conversation with her forever.

"I'm really grateful that we are able to talk so openly about all these hard topics," Gloria said, nodding her head against his, "and I think we need to give Galina some credit for this."

"What does she have to do with anything?" Benny asked.

"Well, it's because of her that you were visiting me every weekend for the past six months," Gloria replied, "she gave us the chance to work on our relationship."

"Hmm," Benny murmured skeptically.

"I mean, things were so bad before that you wouldn't even take my phone calls," Gloria pointed out.

"Yeah…." Benny said, "I guess I was sort of a jerk to you."

"I deserved it a little," Gloria acknowledged, "but I'm glad I have you now."

"I really am happy that you're home finally," Benny admitted softly, "even if I don't always show it."

"I know you are," Gloria smiled.

With that, Benny checked the guide on the television to find something for them both to watch together. They had talked enough and he needed a distraction while he processed everything that he had learned. It felt good to finally open up to his mother about how she had made him feel all those years ago. Likewise, he was glad she had trusted him with the truth from her side of things. It was hard to stay angry at his mother for going to prison when he imagined her abused and scared, resorting to any means to escape her dire situation. He felt sorry for her, sorry for their family. Now, he just hoped they could all move on.

"The Spiderman movie is about to start," Benny said, "do you want to watch?"

"Sure," said Gloria, "do you still have the Spiderman doll I got you when you were little?"

"He's not a doll, he's an action figure," Benny corrected, with a shake of his head.

"Sorry," Gloria shrugged, "I don't see the difference."

"I'm going to make some popcorn before it starts," Benny told her. He picked up his running shoes and carried them out of the room.

He returned from the kitchen a few minutes later. A large bowl full of popcorn, with melted butter drizzled on top, was in one arm, and he carried two cans of soda in the other. He handed one to his mother and then sat down beside her. Gloria was touched that he had brought her a drink without having to be asked. She took a handful of his popcorn and nibbled at it as the movie began to play. Benny leaned over her at one point to switch off the lamp that he claimed was glaring on the screen. Then he settled back down beside his mother on the couch. Their talk had ignited a lot of emotions for both of them and it was a relief to dissolve into silence and let the movie whisk them away from their own lives temporarily.

"Hello, Hello," Lourdes voice boomed, as she walked into the living room, "why is it so dark in here?" she switched on the light.

"Benny wanted to watch the movie in darkness," Gloria responded, glancing fondly at her son who had fallen asleep beside her.

"So, he fell asleep and you kept watching this action stuff yourself?" Lourdes asked in surprise.

"It's actually pretty good, once you get into it," Gloria reasoned. She flicked the television off though and turned to look at her aunt.

"Did you and Antonella have a good night?" she asked.

"Very," Lourdes smiled, "I haven't visited her in ages, never had the time."

"Well, be sure to make time now," Gloria said knowingly, "I can handle things around here."

" _Gracias, Florecita_ ," Lourdes yawned and closed her eyes, "and I think you do more than just handle things. I'm surprised to see Benny asleep. I expected him to be in some sort of fit or have run off somewhere from what you said when I called earlier."

"We talked," Gloria replied calmly, "I think we got somewhere."

"Good," Lourdes breathed, "I always thought he'd be okay when you came home. You're his mother. There are things you can do for him that nobody else can."

"I don't know," Gloria said disbelievingly, "usually I just manage to make everything worse."

"But you never give up," Lourdes argued, "and you always strive to do better. It's one of the things I've always admired the most about you."

"Really?" Gloria whispered.

"Trust me," Lourdes nodded, "you're a good mother, Gloria. I'm proud of you."


	9. Chapter 9

The fourth of July could not have landed on a more divine day. The sun shone down brightly, but the heavenly breeze kept everyone from getting too hot. Children raced up and down the playground and ran excitedly through the splash zone in their bathing suits. People had placed their lawn chairs in front of the stage so that they would have an optimal view of the entertainers, and all around there were families setting up camp for a day in the park. Many had brought barbeques and were intending to grill out, as was appropriate on this annual celebration.

Red's family had made it something of a yearly tradition to picnic and enjoy the outdoors, while they waited for the sky to darken and the fireworks show to start. Arriving with their children, Vasily and Lida brought buckets and shovels for the kids to dig with in the playground sand, while they sat together on a bench and watched them. Yuri had recently adopted a Border Collie pup, named Ruby. Already exceedingly well trained, he complained loudly about the unnecessary regulations requiring him to keep her on a leash, and then decided to take her and Duke to the enclosed dog park for some exercise. Maxim and Luca had set up the badminton net and were playing a game, while Nicky leaned back in the grass, her very spoiled Daisy napping on her lap, and lazily refereed with Lorna. In an unusually quiet mood, Red hadn't done much besides read her book alone in the shade. Although, Nicky couldn't help but notice the way she kept glancing around for a sight of Gloria.

Feeling like meeting them at a busy event with plenty of distractions would be less pressure than a sit-down dinner, Gloria had agreed to join them all for the day. She was bringing Lourdes, Julio, and Benny with her. But they, unlike Gloria, were already well acquainted with the Reznikov family. Gloria was the only real newcomer in their midst. She had just met Maxim a handful of times and had never spoken to the others. She wasn't shy, but she was not entirely certain what to expect either.

By the time they got there, everyone had come back to their picnic space and was eager to eat. Red had prepared several dishes the night before, Luca was planning to barbeque the main food, and Vasily had hauled in a heavy cooler that Lida had filled to the brim with water bottles, sodas, and juice boxes. Gloria had made sure not to come empty handed either. She brought a platter of fruit and a few large bags of chips. Red had been reading in the shade when they'd arrived, but she spotted Gloria at once and dropped her book onto the grass as she quickly stood up to greet her. Julio and Benny had barely said a word before Red's four-year-old grandson, Alexei, ran over and begged them to take him to the splash pad. After verifying with Lida that it was alright, Julio and Benny had hurried off with the little boy to play. Lourdes could not resist doting over two-year-old Vera and speaking in loud admiration about the adorable floral dress she was wearing.

"Hey, you," Gloria said softly to Red, once she reached her side. She dropped the food she had brought onto a picnic table and then glanced around, her eyes landing on each person in turn. She recognized them all from photographs Red had shown her or from the glimpses she had gotten in the visitation room. Yet, it was very different to see them all in the flesh at once.

"I'm glad you're here," Red said, sounding almost bashful. Then, before Gloria could say another word more, she walked away to evidently occupy herself with taking out some checkered tablecloths from a bag. Despite her pleading with Gloria to come today, Red seemed to not know what to do with her now that she was here. Fortunately, Nicky and Lorna immediately came over to take her place.

"Hey, Gloria!" Lorna said warmly, "isn't this a perfect day?"

"Nice sun," Gloria agreed, but then glanced at Nicky in amusement, "although I suppose there can be too much of a good thing."

"What?" Nicky frowned in puzzlement.

"Oh, Nicky!" Lorna exclaimed, "didn't you remember to put on sunscreen? I asked you if you wanted to borrow some of mine."

"That stuff makes me feel greasy," Nicky complained, "and I don't like smelling like a coconut."

"Well, I hope you don't mind a burnt nose, instead," Gloria smiled.

"I'll get you some aloe vera," Lorna giggled, "I think I have some in my bag."

Nicky glanced over in Red's direction momentarily, before deciding it would probably be a good thing if she took it upon herself to introduce everyone.

"Maxim, Vasily, Luca, Yuri, Lida," Nicky said, pointing at each of them in turn, "not in any particular order. Guys, this is Gloria."

"I already know Gloria," Maxim told Nicky, "don't you remember? You were there."

"If it was the time everyone came and I got appendicitis, then I don't recall any specifics from that day," Nicky replied.

"How about a couple of weeks ago at the mall?" Gloria raised her eyebrows, "when you were driving me nuts and gorging on pretzels?"

"One pretzel," said Nicky, "don't overreact."

Gloria met Maxim's eye and shook her head exasperatingly at Nicky's antics. He smiled welcomingly and Gloria began to relax. He was a nice guy and, from what Gloria had seen so far, he seemed infinitely more easygoing than his excitable mother. Red had confided in her more than once that Maxim was the son who reminded her of Dmitri the most. Like his father had been, Maxim was the most soft-spoken and calm of Red's sons. Gloria had refrained from pointing out that such comparisons certainly did not help Red in building her ongoing case against her ex-husband. Gloria had never met Dmitri, and obviously never would, but she had long-time felt that Red hid her true feelings for him beneath a protective layer of contempt. In Gloria's eyes, Dmitri seemed like an okay guy with the misfortune of being entirely incompatible with the woman he had married. Their relationship had been paradise compared to what Gloria had endured.

"It's very nice to meet you, Gloria," Luca said warmly. He was hovering over the barbeque that was laden with the hot dogs and hamburgers he was cooking.

"Yes," Lida nodded in agreement. She walked forward and enveloped Gloria in a quick hug, "we're so glad that you could come."

"Umm, thanks," said Gloria, awkwardly patting Red's daughter-in-law on the back.

"We always have enjoyed your boys," Lida smiled. "My son, Alexei, talks about them non-stop! He was so excited when I told him that you were all coming today."

"They seem to have a lot of fun together," Gloria replied, glancing towards the splash pad where Alexei was laughing hysterically as he ran back and forth between Julio and Benny.

"They do," Lida said, "he completely adores them. I need to get them to babysit sometime."

"Are you looking to replace me?" Nicky asked in a tone of mock-outrage, "I did great when I watched them. Those kids love me!"

"Well, our house does not," Vasily retorted. "I took pictures of the mess. You want me to show Ma what you and that boyfriend of yours did?"

"Oh, I don't need pictures, Vasily," Red said, squinting at Nicky, as she placed a lidded casserole dish on the covered picnic table. "I have to live with the girl. I can imagine."

"He was never my boyfriend," was all Nicky said in reply.

"Ow, what?" Vasily hissed at his wife. Lida rolled her eyes and motioned, not so very discreetly, in Gloria's direction.

"Oh, right, sorry," Vasily laughed awkwardly, "I'm Vasily…"

"I already told Gloria that," Nicky snorted in amusement.

"Well, hi," Vasily mumbled, blushing to the roots of his hair.

"Hi," Gloria said back.

"It's very nice to meet you," Yuri said politely, coming to his brother's rescue. He extended his hand to shake hers.

"Do you want something to drink, Gloria?" Lida asked, "we have everything."

"You got beer?" Vasily asked immediately.

Lida shot him an affronted look, "you're not allowed to drink in a public park."

"You're just upset because you can't have one right now," Vasily groaned, "we drank together while we watched the fireworks last year."

"Lida's pregnant with your child," Lorna reminded him, with a pointed stare, "you should refrain from drinking to show your support for her during this time. That's what I would expect."

"Yeah, Vasily," Lida smirked, "what gives?"

"How many months are you now?" Lourdes asked. The older woman had actually sat down on the ground with Vera so that she could show her how to make a necklace out of daisies. The little girl seemed to bring out her softest side.

"About four months," Lida replied pleasantly, patting her round belly, "but I look more like six months!"

"I can't wait until we find out if it's a boy or a girl," Red said excitedly, "only three more weeks to go."

"I can already tell you, it's a boy," Vasily said confidently, "Lida's craving salty food and you-know-what a lot lately, and she was the same when we were expecting Alexei."

"What's you-know-what, Vasily?" asked Nicky innocently, "enlighten us."

"Nicky," Lorna gasped, swatting her playfully on the shoulder.

"What? He's the one who brought it up," laughed Nicky.

"Anyway," Lida said loudly, shooting her husband a warning look to stop talking, "barring Vasily's _clearly_ scientific mind, I'll wait to learn what I'm having until it's from someone who actually knows what they're talking about."

"Suit yourself," Vasily shrugged, "although I'm offended by your lack of faith.

"Be offended over here," Maxim called to him, "I need your help moving these picnic tables together.

"Where did Yuri go?" Vasily asked, "shirking out of helping…"

"And that's really your special job, is it honey?" Red said sarcastically as he passed her. She did glance around for her oldest son though and spotted him with the kids at the splash pad. He had retreated as soon as he had gotten his obligatory introduction out of the way.

"We're not all going to fit," Red said, watching as her sons carried the two other picnic tables over and lined them up against the one she had set all the food on.

"We've got blankets," Maxim told her, "some of us can just eat on the grass. It will be fine."

"I guess," Red agreed. She licked her lips and slightly smiled, "at least _that woman_ ended up not coming."

" _Mamochka_!" Maxim scolded, "are you seriously about to celebrate the fact that Klara has a cold and couldn't come?"

Red pursed her lips and shrugged.

Maxim sighed, "I mean, we all know you're happy about not having to see her today, but could you at least try to do a better job of hiding it? She's a member of this family."

Gloria's eyes had darted back and forth as she tried to follow who was speaking at the present time. A challenging feat, because they all spoke so fast. They were an amusing bunch though, and even when they were arguing, the affection this family had for one another was undeniable. The most peculiar thing Gloria noticed, was that despite Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily having lived through the same circumstances as Julio and Benny, they did not seem as obviously affected. There was a lightness in them that Gloria felt her sons were lacking. Whether it was because of the age difference or perhaps the stability of Red's sons still having their father and a maternal figure in their mother's place, Gloria wasn't sure. Red still got a bad taste in her mouth whenever anybody spoke about Klara, but maybe she had actually done Red a world of good. Gloria thought that a mother should just be grateful that somebody was providing her children with the love they needed, if she herself was unable to be there. Although she never could find it in her to voice aloud, knowing her two daughters had a loving mother, even if it was not her, was something Gloria appreciated.

Her eyes landed on Lourdes' back and affection for her Tia surged up inside of her. Gloria hated herself for all the grief she had caused her loving aunt, but she was grateful they were at-last reconnecting and beginning to heal. Just like Klara, and the stepmother who had replaced Gloria in her daughters' life, Lourdes had stepped up to care for children that were not hers. Although she had never married or had children of her own, she had raised her niece after Gloria's mother died. Then, despite her advanced age, she had done her duty and looked over her great-nephews for several years while Gloria had served her time in prison. Smiling affectionately, Gloria walked over to place her hand on Lourdes' shoulder and then sat down cross-legged in the grass beside her.

"Is this Vera?" Gloria asked, smiling at Red's currently youngest grandchild. "I like your dress."

Vera gripped the fabric of her dress in her tiny fists and spun around in a circle.

"Gloria is my little girl," Lourdes told Vera, "why don't you show her your necklace?"

"She's not a little girl," Vera giggled, "she's old!" Gloria nearly always had trouble understanding tiny children when they were talking, besides her own, but the little lady spoke very clearly.

"Not as old as Lourdes though," Gloria told her, elbowing her aunt in the rib. Vera stared at Gloria in fascination for a few minutes, apparently sizing her up. She was a cute thing. Her red hair had been done up in a ponytail, although a few wispy strands had escaped and were hanging down by her face. Perhaps it was the ways that she so obviously took after her grandmother, that made Gloria instantly adore her.

"See my flowers?" said Vera, once she had apparently decided that Gloria was okay. She was wearing daisies in a chain link around her neck. It her excitement to show it to Gloria, she accidently tugged too hard and pulled it apart.

Tears welled in her big brown eyes as she stared helplessly at the broken chain, "I broke it."

"That's okay," Gloria said quickly, "I can fix it. And you picked such pretty flowers for it, sweetie." She quickly intertwined the flowers together where the link had been broken.

"So beautiful!" Gloria smiled, once she had finished, "and it even matches your dress."

"Look, Grandma!" Vera exclaimed, and she ran over to wrap her arms around Red's legs, "Gloria fixed my necklace!"

"Oh, I love it!" Red said, and she knelt down to examine the flower chain a little closer. She looked over and winked playfully at Gloria. In response, Gloria gave Red one of her most unimpressed looks. She wasn't going to play those games when Red had barely acknowledged her existence since she'd arrived.

"I'm not sure I'm going to stay the entire day," Lourdes said quietly, and Gloria turned her attention back to her aunt. "I think I'll take advantage of the apartment being empty and go home to take it easy."

"What's your hurry?" Gloria teased, "you get to be alone tonight, remember? The boys are going to that party at Julio's friend Dave's house, and I'm going to stay over at Red's tonight."

"I know," Lourdes replied, "but I'm not feeling very well, Gloria."

"Everything okay?" Gloria asked, her face etched in concern.

"Oh, yes," said Lourdes, "just tired. A little sore."

"Well, stay and eat, at least," said Gloria, "you need to have supper."

"Okay," Lourdes sighed, nodding in agreement.

They both looked over at the raucous of noise as Yuri led the boys back over to them. They were completely soaked, but Alexei looked like he was having the time of his life as he rode on top of Benny's shoulders.

"Look at you!" Lida laughed, when Benny deposited Alexei at her feet.

"Benny showed me how to jump over the water!" Alexei said excitedly, "but I can't jump that high yet."

"Aww," Lida smiled.

"Well, I can guarantee you that he'll go to bed early for you tonight," Benny told Lida, "I got him tired."

"Music to my ears!" Lida said happily, "thanks, Benny!"

"Come here, honey," Red said, holding out a fluffy towel which she wrapped around her grandson.

"I packed him a change of clothes," Lida said to Red, "would you mind helping him change? Being pregnant makes me so tired."

"Not at all," Red smiled, "I remember what that was like."

"Thanks, Ma," said Lida.

"That was fun!" Julio said, plopping down in the grass beside his mother. He was completely soaked. Gloria eyed him warily and shifted closer to Lourdes.

"That looked like fun," Lourdes observed. With difficulty, she struggled to her feet. Gloria resisted the temptation of helping her up because she knew her aunt was very proud. She'd probably hit her for implying she was weak.

"It was," Julio nodded. He glanced nervously at his mother, wondering if she had also noticed how out of breath her aunt was. Lourdes went over to the picnic table to join Yuri and Vasily, who were already sitting there in wait of their food.

"Did you bring us towels?" Julio asked.

"No," Gloria scoffed, "maybe when you were Alexei's age I'd pack you a towel and a change of clothes, but I think those days are behind us."

"Hey, mom," said Benny, walking over to join them. He frowned in confusion at his brother who was silently warning him not to ask for what he was about to, "did you remember my towel?"

"As I just finished telling your brother, no I did not," said Gloria, "you boys are old enough to be responsible and remember to bring your own things."

"Apparently not, because I forgot it," said Benny.

"Sucks to be you then," said Gloria, "just be grateful it's a hot day."

"It's not that hot when you're soaked to the bone," Benny complained.

"You'll dry," Gloria said dismissively.

"Julio, Benny, do you need towels?" Red asked them concernedly. She walked over to them carrying two extras she had packed.

"Thanks," Julio said appreciatively, grabbing the one on the top.

She glanced over at Benny, "would you like one?" she asked.

"Sure," Benny shrugged, reaching for the folded towel in her outstretched hand. He wrapped it around his shoulder and glared down, as his mother slapped him on the calf.

"What do you say?" Gloria hissed at him.

"Thank you," Benny heaved a great sigh, as though the words were too much to get out.

"Well, I can't have you boys catching a chill," Red brushed it off.

"Of course not," teased Gloria, "it's not like it's a hot summer day out here or anything."

"But water cools you down," Red argued.

"Whatever you say," said Gloria, "I think you just want to coddle them."

"We're going to eat now," Red told them.

"Great," said Julio enthusiastically, "I'm starved." He headed over to the barbeque, followed by his brother. Luca plated them each a burger and after they had helped themselves to everything else, they sat down on the laid-out blanket on the ground.

"I'll be there in a minute," Gloria replied smoothly, deliberately intent on making Red wait before she followed her to the table. She understood why the situation was uncomfortable, but that didn't mean Red needed to basically avoid talking with her since she'd gotten here.

"Everything alright?" Red asked skeptically.

"Mhmm," Gloria murmured, slowly plucking the petals off of a daisy that had fallen from Vera's chain.

"Then what are you doing?" asked Red.

"She loves me, she loves me not," Gloria muttered aloud, "we used to do this test on boys we liked in the schoolyard when I was a kid."

"Why are you doing that now?" asked Red, "is that in question?"

"You tell me," Gloria said, "you haven't spoken to me since I got here. And you're the one who asked me to come."

"I know," Red whispered, "it's strange though."

"It's strange for me too," Gloria said, "but at least I'm not ignoring you."

"I'm sorry," Red said honestly.

"Mhmm," Gloria smiled coyly. She plucked the last petal off of her daisy.

"She loves me," she smiled triumphantly, "I guess that means I'll forgive you." She playfully tossed the flower stem at her.

"Can we go eat now?" Red rolled her eyes.

"Sure," said Gloria, and she got to her feet.

"Tonight, we get to be alone," Red whispered as they walked over to join everyone.

"First night together," Gloria smiled, "finally."

They weren't even planning to stay for the fireworks. Once Julio and Benny had informed Gloria of their plans to meet up with their friend, the possibilities had begun whirling in their mother's mind. She had never slept over at Red's yet because she hadn't wanted her sons to feel like she was running out on them. She had been hoping to slip away when Julio went to his prom, but Benny hadn't made any plans for that night and she'd ended up staying home to watch tv with him instead. He was such a homebody. Honestly, it was a miracle that he had decided to go out tonight. Dave was more Julio's friend than Benny's, but the brothers were so close that they were often invited out to the same places. Benny usually just decided to decline.

After Gloria had informed her of the plans, Red had gone to Nicky and asked if she and Lorna would please stay at Lorna's apartment on this night. She didn't ask for much, and a night alone with Gloria seemed entirely reasonable when they had been separated for as long as they had been. Fortunately, Nicky had agreed to stay away, as long as Red agreed to babysit Daisy for her. Last time she had brought her dog to Lorna's, Daisy had chewed up one of her favourite shoes. She wasn't welcome overnight there anymore, unless Nicky agreed to crate her, which was something she adamantly refused to do.

Gloria and Red took seats together at the table with everyone else. Gloria didn't mind that Red deliberately kept a little more space between them that she ordinarily would have. The food was delicious and everybody was talking easily with one another. After a few minutes, Vera got up from her spot on the blanket and wedged herself in the space between her grandmother and Gloria. She pointed hopefully at the potato salad on Gloria's plate, and beamed when she was offered a bite. Her own plate still had some on it, but for some reason food always looked more appealing to children when it was somebody else's. The dogs were lying at their feet, except for Daisy, who so rarely left Nicky's arms. Julio kept tossing them bits of food from his plate, grinning cheekily up at her, when Red caught on to what he was doing. Lourdes was sitting on the end of the picnic table beside Lida. She was struggling to appear engaged, but beads of sweat were forming on her brow and Gloria could tell that she was quite uncomfortable. She felt guilty for persuading her aunt to stay for the dinner. She should have just let her go home to rest if she was not feeling well.

"Feel like an after-dinner cigarette?" Nicky tapped Gloria on the shoulder, once they had all finished eating. Nobody else had made to move from their spots yet. It was so relaxing and none of them felt like clearing up just yet.

"Since when do you offer to share your smokes?" asked Gloria, getting to her feet.

"Since Red is sitting there looking so judgemental at me," Nicky replied, "this way her nagging about this filthy habit can be spread out between the both of us."

She laughed at the dawning look on Red's face, "I'm just kidding, Ma," Nicky joked, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"Are you?" Red rolled her eyes.

"Well, not really," Nicky conceded, "you do always get this expression of disapproval on your face when I smoke in front of you."

"It's so bad for you," Red said, "am I supposed to look proud?"

"You can look the other way," Nicky suggested.

Red shooed her away with her hand, "just go over there by those trees so the rest of us won't have to breathe it in."

Squeezing Red's shoulder apologetically, because there was no way she could ever fully give up her cigarettes, Gloria turned to follow Nicky over to the secluded spot under the trees.

"You having a good time?" asked Nicky. She lit Gloria's cigarette for her and then set one for herself. Gloria took a puff and breathed out smoke rings.

"Yeah," she breathed, "everyone is okay."

"I like them," Nicky said honestly, "and they're pretty accepting. I suppose with a mother like Red, they're used to some pretty weird things."

"That must be why you fit in so well," Gloria replied.

"Yeah, I—"

"LOURDES!" a high-pitched voice screamed, "are you okay? Can you—someone call 911. GLORIA!" Lida shouted.

"What the f**k?" Gloria breathed. Her smoke fell to the ground and she ran back over to her aunt as quickly as she could. Maxim was talking calmly into his cell phone, saying they needed an ambulance at once. Lourdes appeared to be on the ground, but she couldn't see her because of everyone hovering around.

"Give her some space," Red said, her voice shaky although still strong, "Let Gloria through." Lida, Vasily, and Lorna moved away. Red turned behind her to look at Julio and Benny, both pale and stunned as they watched from a distance. Red went to them.

"An ambulance is coming," she said, "it will be here any minute. Stay strong."

"Gloria," Lourdes said weakly, she was kneeling on the ground, with an arm across her chest, holding herself, "I can't breathe." She was struggling to catch her breath. Gloria dropped to her knees down on the ground beside her.

"Don't talk," Gloria said, trying to keep her voice steady, "the ambulance is coming and I need you to save your strength. Did you faint?"

"I think I'm having a heart attack," Lourdes gasped, a single tear falling down her cheek, "I can't breathe, it hurts, I—" Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and her weight fell against Gloria.

"She's not breathing," Luca said sharply, "help me lay her down," he ordered Gloria, "I know CPR."

"Jesus Christ," Gloria cried, "where is the f**king ambulance?"

As Luca began doing chest compressions, Gloria looked around her frantically. A crowd of onlookers was beginning to congregate. Red spotted Nicky, standing alone and looking white as a sheet.

"Stay with them," Red commanded, and Nicky moved closer to the two boys that seemed frozen to the spot.

Red rushed back over to Gloria and wrapped her arms around her, getting down to the ground as well, "Gloria, Gloria, look," she pointed, "there's the ambulance. They're here."

"She's not breathing," Gloria gasped.

"Luca knows what he's doing though," said Red, tightening her arms around Gloria. She rested her chin atop Gloria's head and watched Yuri rush over to the paramedics and hurry them back to where Lourdes lay. They unfolded a stretcher and lifted her onto it, before whisking her back to the ambulance.

"Up, Up," Red said hurriedly, "they'll let you ride to the hospital with her if you want to. Do you?"

Gloria nodded.

"Come on," Red coaxed, she kept her hands-on Gloria's arms and held her as they walked quickly over to the ambulance that Lourdes had been loaded onto. The paramedic had already used the paddles to deliver an electric shock to her heart.

"She's her next-of-kin," Red told them in a tight tone that left no room for discussion.

"Hurry," the paramedic urged.

As soon as Gloria had climbed on, the doors slammed in Red's face and the ambulance hurried away with its sirens blaring. Red went back over to her family.

"Take the dog back to my place," she said in a controlled voice to Yuri, "or better yet, just keep him with you tonight."

"Sure, Ma," Yuri nodded.

Red retrieved her purse from the basket she had left it in. She calmly unzipped the large pocket and tossed some water bottles into it. She looked back up at Julio and Benny, who were both still standing in the same spot she had left them in. Nicky was dutifully by their side.

"Come on," Red said, her voice softening exponentially as she addressed them. Julio and Benny both walked silently over to her. Red placed her hand on Julio's back.

"I'll take you home to change clothes and then we can go to the hospital," Red said.

"No," Julio said adamantly, "let's just get to the hospital. We're wasting time."

"Okay," Red nodded, rubbing his back.

"Gloria forgot her purse," Lida said, her face was soaked with tears. She rushed over to her mother-in-law and handed her the bag. Red reached into it and pulled out Gloria's ring of keys.

"Keep these in case I call and need one of you to go to their apartment and bring us something," Red said, handing the keys to Lida. Then she slung the strap of Gloria's purse onto her arm.

"Let's go," Red said to the boys. As they walked towards her car, she kept a comforting hand rested on Julio's back. Benny trudged along behind them by himself.


	10. Chapter 10

The streets were bare and the world seemed quiet as Red drove Gloria, Julio, and Benny away from the hospital. The sun was beginning to rise and Red shielded her eyes with her hand. They had been in the hospital all night, sitting in uncomfortable chairs and pacing the halls as they waited for the devastating news that would wreck them. Lourdes had immediately been prepped for surgery upon the ambulance's arrival, but the lead surgeon had made sure Gloria knew going into it that there was very little hope. When Red, Julio, and Benny had arrived, Gloria was barely even able to coherently reiterate what the doctor had said to her. She had just kept silently praying that her aunt would come out of this okay, despite the bad prognosis.

Red's hands gripped the steering wheel in the car tightly and she turned the car onto her own street. She didn't think walking into the home they had shared with Lourdes was the best thing for them right now. Biting her lip, she glanced over at Gloria in the passenger seat. Gloria was angled towards the door and resting her head against the window. She was quiet now. She had temporarily cried herself out while they'd waited in the hospital. Though not unexpected, it had been a terrible thing when the surgeon had finally returned and told them that the operation had been unsuccessful. Lourdes was brain dead and on life support. There had been nothing more they could do for her, but the family could take as much time as they needed to say goodbye.

"But she was just at a picnic!" Gloria had told the surgeon desperately, as though that would make a difference, "I was just talking to her and she was fine!"

There had been no way to console her and Red had noticed how utterly petrified the boys had looked as they'd watched on. Feeling completely helpless, Red had walked Gloria to Lourdes room and then gone back to sit in the waiting room. She had hated how frightened the boys had looked while their mother had cried and thought a bit of distance would be the best thing for them right now. Benny had been curled up in his chair with his mother's purse being used as a pillow. Julio had been resting with his head in his hand while he stared at the ground. There were both still as statues. Unsure of what to do, Red had offered them both a bottle of water from her purse but was not surprised when they declined.

"You can go see her next," Red had told them softly, "say goodbye…"

"She's not even there though," Julio had responded quietly, "if she's brain dead then she's not even in her body anymore."

"She's not in pain," Red had replied. She brought her hand up to pat Julio's cheek, "and I think she can still hear you. Her spirit knows…"

She had hated the way that came out. She didn't know what to say in situations like this. Death was uncomfortable and waiting for someone to die was perhaps even worse. There was just nothing Red could do to fix things or make them feel better, and she hated being powerless. Their grief distressed Red and made her tempted to flee this place, but her love kept her rooted to her spot. She needed to be there for them.

Gloria hadn't come back to the waiting room. By the time they had hit the one-hour mark, Red was growing increasingly worried. She wanted to check on her but she didn't want to leave the boys alone to go do so. She had quietly suggested they all go to Lourdes' room to join their mother, but neither boy had been inclined to agree.

"I don't think I want to see her like that," Julio admitted softly. He didn't think he would ever forget the way Lourdes had shot out of her seat at the picnic before crumpling to the ground clutching her heart. He didn't think he could bear to see her hooked up to all those beeping machines.

"You don't have to," Red had immediately replied, "we'll stay in here."

She'd chewed nervously on a fingernail and shifted in her seat a bit. She took her cellphone out of her purse and sent messages to her kids so that they would know what was going on. The party had broken up pretty quickly after they had left. Alexei and Vera had been in hysterics, and in the chaos, nobody had realized until after Lourdes had been driven away. It was a very traumatic thing for small children to witness, for anybody to witness, and their parents had had difficulty putting them to bed that night.

Red had glanced at Benny. He hadn't moved from his position, curled up in his chair with his head atop his mother's purse. His eyes looked blank and he was staring at a crucifix that hung on the wall. Julio had brought his knees to his chest and was resting his chin on top of them. He looked so tired.

"Do you want to pray with me?" Red had asked them uncertainly, after a few more silent minutes. The question had so randomly slipped out of her mouth that she took herself by surprise. She wasn't a religious woman, at least not anymore. The bad things that had happened in her life had long ago made her cynical and turned her off of the idea of any higher power. If there was a God, Red had decided that she didn't like him very much. However, faith was something that Lourdes had always had in abundance, and she had shared those beliefs with her family. They all derived great comfort from the church and prayer was something that Lourdes would appreciate in her final hours.

"Okay," Julio had nodded his head again, "we could do the rosary. They usually keep them in hospital waiting rooms." He opened the drawer of the cabinet and found a simple wooden rosary within, beside the Bible. He handed it to Red.

"You're going to have to help me," Red had told him, as she ran her fingers over the delicate wooden beads, "remind me how we start?"

"We make the sign of the cross," Julio had instructed, "and then recite the 'Our Father'."

" _Our Father, who art in heaven…_ " Red had begun to pray. She went slowly and the words had felt unnatural on her tongue after so many years. She had to take deliberate care not to lapse back into Russian, which was the language she had only ever really prayed in before. She'd watched out of the corner of her eye as Benny rummaged into Gloria's purse and finally withdrew a beautiful jewelled rosary that his mother always kept in there. He didn't recite aloud with them, but his fingers gently swept over the beads in an act of silent prayer.

Red had kept an image of Lourdes in her mind as she recited the words on her behalf. As they proceeded, her monotonous repetition gave way to a more sentimental tone and she hoped that if there was a God listening, that he would bring comfort upon this family who had already suffered so much. Being with them had made her think about her own sons and how they must have felt saying goodbye to their father like this. Unexpected tears had welled in her eyes, but she blinked them away before they could be noticed. She thought about Dmitri and realized that Klara had undoubtedly been in the hospital, faithfully by his side when it happened. And there to support Red's children. It was something to be grateful for.

At some point Gloria had returned to the small waiting room, her face awash with fresh tears. Through mangled sobs she tried to describe to them how Lourdes looked. They would be turning off the machines in a few minutes and if they wanted to see her, they needed to go now. Julio and Benny had glanced at one another and then gotten to their feet. Neither wanted to see their aunt like that but they were worried they might regret it if they didn't go. Red had walked back with Gloria but decided to wait in the hall for them instead. It hadn't felt right to intrude.

Red had no memories of ever seeing anybody on their death bed before. She had been living on the other side of the world from her parents when they had both died and the job of caring for them in the lead up had fallen to her two sisters. Her mother-in-law had died peacefully in her sleep one night and when her father-in-law had laid dying in the hospital, Red hadn't accompanied Dmitri to see him because she'd had the excuse of three small children to care for. This was her first time in a situation like this and it made her very uncomfortable.

"We're here," Red said softly, after she parked her car outside her home. Gloria turned away from the window to unbuckle her seatbelt. She glanced uncertainly at Red and fresh tears welled in her eyes.

When they got inside, Gloria lay down on the couch and hugged a decorative pillow to her chest. Julio and Benny had kicked off their shoes at the door but had not made another move. At least, Benny hadn't objected to being brought to Red's apartment as she had thought he might. She had been correct that going home right now would just be too difficult.

"We should all try to get some sleep," Red said. "Come, boys. You can share Nicky's room. I'll go with you to clean up whatever current disaster she has left."

Nicky had texted Red to let her know that she was going to spend the night at Lorna's as originally planned and the boys could use her room. In light of the circumstances, Lorna had even consented to allow Daisy to come. When Red opened the door to Nicky's bedroom, she was surprised to see that everything was immaculate. After leaving the park, Nicky had come home to clean up. All the clothes had been put away, everything was up off the floor, and there were no candy wrappers to be seen. She had even changed the blanket and sheets on the bed. On top of the dresser was a small duffel bag. After getting Gloria's keys from Lida, she had gone over to their place to pick up some clothes for Gloria and her sons. Red was taken-a-back, in a positive way, by Nicky's thoughtfulness.

"I got you water," Red said, once Julio and Benny returned from the bathroom where they had changed into the fresh clothes Nicky had brought them. Red pointed at the two glasses of water she had placed on the bedside table.

"Thank you," Julio said quietly.

Red pulled back the blanket on the bed and they both climbed in. Then she sat down near Julio's feet. Her hand rested on his calf.

"Is there anything that I can do?" Red asked, her eyes darting back and forth between them both. Benny slid further down in the bed and rolled onto his side to face the wall.

"No," Julio simply replied, "there's nothing."

"I'm so sorry this happened," Red said sadly.

"I still can't believe it's true," Julio sniffled.

"Me either," Red replied.

"Lie down," she encouraged him softly. Julio did as she said, rolling onto his side. She smoothed the blanket over them unnecessarily. He knew they were a little old for this but after what had happened, it was just good to have someone there, showing how much she cared.

"Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?" Red asked, as though she could read his mind. She was just doing what she would have done if they were her own children. She considered them both as much anyway.

"We aren't babies," Benny spoke up. He didn't turn away from the wall as he said it.

"Okay," Red replied, patting Julio's calf comfortingly a couple of more times, "you know where to find me if you need anything."

She went back into the living room to find Gloria. She hadn't moved from her place on the couch. Red kneeled down in front of her.

"Hi," Red whispered, reaching for Gloria's hand, "I wasn't sure if you were asleep yet or not."

"I can't sleep," Gloria whispered back, "I keep replaying this afternoon over and over in my head. She told me she didn't feel good and wanted to go home to bed. I asked her to stay and eat with us all."

"That's not why she died, Gloria," Red said. She sat down on the floor with her back rested against the couch. She still kept Gloria's hand in hers.

"If I had been paying attention," whispered Gloria, "she's been so tired ever since I got home and I just attributed that to life. But she was dying and I never even took her to see a doctor."

"Gloria," Red shook her head, "just, no. You can't do that to yourself. This is a shock. Nobody saw this coming."

"I had just gotten home," Gloria whimpered, tears rolling down her cheeks, "we were just starting to spend time together again. I never got to thank her for everything she did for me."

"Gloria, she knew," Red squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"I don't know," Gloria sniffed.

"She wouldn't want you to carry this guilt around inside of you," Red said, "she loved you. This is nobody's fault."

"I just can't believe this is happening," Gloria rubbed her hand over her face, "we didn't even get to spend a month together."

"It's awful," Red agreed, "I'm so sorry."

"Where are the boys?" asked Gloria.

"They're in Nicky's room," Red told her, "I'll check on them again in a few minutes."

"I haven't even been able to look at them," Gloria said guiltily, "I just can't think straight about anything right now."

"Then don't try," Red replied, squeezing her hand tightly, "Just let me take care of things for a little while. You need to get some sleep."

"So, do you," said Gloria, "you were awake all night too."

"Exactly," said Red, she tugged on Gloria's arm, "so will you just come to bed with me? It's comfier than the couch."

"Okay," Gloria nodded.

Nicky had left Gloria's clothes folded on the foot of the bed for her. While Gloria changed into pajamas, Red went back across the hall to check on the boys. They both seemed to be asleep, which relieved her. She noticed that the blinds were open and the sun was shining in. Quietly tiptoeing to the window, she closed them. Maybe they would be able to sleep a little longer that way.

Red battled internally with whether to leave the doors open or not. She was worried it would upset the boys to see her and Gloria in bed together, but at the same time she didn't want to make them feel shut out if they wanted or needed something. She settled for leaving them open partway. Gloria was sitting straight up with her back against the headboard. After putting on her pajamas, Red pulled back the blankets and lay down next to her.

"I don't know what to do," Red said honestly, looking sadly over at Gloria. She felt so helpless amidst all this pain.

"You're doing everything," Gloria whispered, "you're loving us."

Gloria shifted over and curled onto her side, facing Red, and sharing her pillow. Her eyes glazed with exhaustion, Red reached a hand up and used her finger to brush away the tears from Gloria's eyes. Beneath the covers, she wedged her leg between both of Gloria's so that they were linked.

"She's dead," Gloria sniffled, new tears replacing the ones Red had just brushed away.

Cupping Gloria's cheek in her hand, Red leaned forward and brushed her lips. Then, still caressing Gloria's face, she pulled back just enough to lay her head back down on the pillow they were sharing. Underneath the covers, her other hand found Gloria's. She closed her eyes and within seconds, they had both surrendered to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

It annoyed Gloria that the sun was shining down so merrily on the morning of Lourdes' funeral. She thought the weather should be respectfully gray and miserable, but no such luck. She had spent the last couple of days lying around Red's apartment in sweatpants. She hadn't felt like going anywhere or doing anything. Neither had her sons. Julio had called in at his summer job and Gloria had given Benny permission to take an absence from school. They had stayed at Red's because the thought of going home to Lourdes' empty apartment was just too much to handle right now. They needed to pause.

It had been necessary to crash after their sleepless night in the Intensive Care Unit, but when they woke up that afternoon it was to face the daunting reality of needing to actually make arrangements for Lourdes' funeral and burial. Gloria had been adamantly apposed to having a wake or viewing of any sort, because being forced to stand around engaging with people right after her aunt had died seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. Sporting an excruciating headache, Gloria had been sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands when Red had sat down beside her and dialed the number of the funeral home. It was a relief to Gloria not to have to make that call. She did voice her wishes for the funeral quietly, and Red had relayed them to the director over the phone while she massaged the feet Gloria had rested in her lap. Julio and Benny had been sitting in the living room with them while they made the plans. They watched television on the lowest volume so that they wouldn't disturb Red's conversation. Julio had asked for Lourdes to have lots of red carnations because they had always been her favourite flower.

Minutes before the service was to begin, Gloria walked through a side entrance of the chapel and sat down in the second pew to the front. The immediate family normally walked in the procession behind the casket, but Gloria hadn't wanted to do that. Red was already seated there with her two grandchildren. She glanced over, and Gloria could see the concern etched into every line of her face.

"I'm here," Gloria shrugged, looking miserable.

"I was beginning to worry," Red compressed her lips sympathetically, "where were you?"

"Hiding in the bathroom," Gloria admitted. She looked down at her lap and smoothed the fabric of the black dress she was wearing.

She hadn't owned a black dress or anything else that would be considered appropriate funeral attire. After all, she hadn't expected to be in mourning when she had just gotten out of prison. It felt terrible to be dressed in such a way to honour her deceased aunt, but at the same time they were a reminder that she still had people in her life who cared. At least, Lourdes dying didn't leave Gloria, Julio, and Benny all alone in the world. The love and help they had been receiving, not just from Red, but from her entire family made them realize how blessed they actually were. Gloria would never forget how she had felt when Nicky and Lida had stopped by with several black dresses for her to try on. After Gloria had selected the one she was currently wearing, the girls had returned the others to the store and then gone to pick up the boys' suits from Lourdes' apartment. Red's family really took care of one another and she was grateful to already feel a part of it.

"I can't believe how many people are here," Gloria whispered to Red.

"You don't recognize anyone?" Red asked.

"No," Gloria shook her head, "all our family still lives in Puerta Rico or in Florida. I didn't expect it to be this full."

"I recognize some customers from work," Red replied, "and I think I see a few people from your building. The rest probably know her from church. She was a friendly woman."

"Yeah," Gloria agreed faintly. She glanced around a little more as though she was looking for somebody in particular. Then she gave up and faced the front again.

"Gloria, I'm sorry that Lourdes' died," Alexei said loudly. He was running his toy car up and down Red's leg. Huddled against her grandmother, Vera was happily scribbling away in her colouring book.

Gloria smiled sadly, "thanks, sweetie."

"Remember, Grandma told you that it's important to whisper in church," Red brought her finger to her lips. She looked over at Gloria apologetically, "I hope I won't have to leave to take them out. It's hard for them to sit quietly for too long."

"Please don't," Gloria replied, "Lourdes' wouldn't care if they were a little loud and I need you to stay with me."

"So long as you're sure," Red replied, "Vasily and Lida tried to get a babysitter..."

"They don't need one," Gloria said firmly, "I'm just a little embarrassed about how much they're all doing. I barely know them."

"They all wanted to help," Red insisted.

"Because you made them," Gloria replied, with a knowing look.

"I asked," Red corrected, "and they agreed immediately because they all adored Lourdes and because you're our family."

The processional hymn began and everyone rose to their feet as Lourdes' casket made its descent towards the altar. It was carried by the six pallbearers; Julio, Benny, Yuri, Maxim, Luca, and Vasily. Red had asked her children to assist because there hadn't been anybody else to do it. Gloria and her sons were the only close family that Lourdes' had.

"Can we sit with you?" Julio asked his mom, once they had reached the front of the church. The first pew was reserved for the pallbearers, but neither son wanted to sit there. Red immediately shifted over, tugging Alexei and Vera along with her. Flashing her a grateful smile, Julio sat down and was followed by his younger brother.

Father Bryson had been their parish priest for many years and had been very fond of Lourdes. He was a soft-spoken man in his early forties and had often reminded Lourdes that she was doing the lord's work on earth by taking in her two great-nephews. Lourdes had tried several times to get the boys to meet with him for counselling, especially once Benny had started getting into trouble at school, but they had both refused.

After the opening prayers, Father welcomed all those who had gathered and spoke of Lourdes with such warmth and familiarity that it brought tears to Gloria's eyes. For the longest time, Gloria had only seen the critical, tired, and stressed side of her aunt. She had forgotten about how funny and entertaining she could be. It was good to know that others had still seen that in her.

Lida and Nicky sat together on the altar with printouts of the readings they were preparing to give on their laps. Gloria and her sons had selected the bible passages they wanted together, but none of them felt up to speaking today. Red had asked Nicky and Lida to step in when they had dropped by with the clothing.

"I call picking first," Nicky had nudged Lida aside, before leaning over Gloria's shoulder so that she could choose which reading she wanted to give. Now she walked up to the podium, looking beautiful in a sharp black pantsuit.

 _"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.  
A time to give birth, and a time to die…a time to mourn and a time to dance."  
_Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

It was a verse that had always spoken to Gloria and the boys because Lourdes had often quoted it to them, much to their annoyance. Now it made all three of them smile. When times were hard Lourdes would often say that eventually it would be time for happier things. Gloria knew if her aunt was around to speak to her right now, she would say that everyone has to die eventually and that God had simply decided that it was her turn. There would be no anger or sadness, because Lourdes had always believed in a heaven where she would someday be reunited with her beloved sister, Gloria's mother. And as Gloria sat there and listened to the words she and her sons had chosen, she bowed her head and silently prayed that Lourdes would, as Lida read, _"find rest from their labours, for their works accompany them."_ (Revelation 14: 13). Nobody deserved to rest in peace as much as Lourdes Mendoza, who had spent her entire life on earth serving others.

"I'm so glad this is all almost over," Gloria confessed, as they drove slowly to the cemetery once the funeral service had ended. Her eyes were fixated unblinkingly upon the hearse they were following. Julio and Benny sat hunched over in the back seat of the car.

"It's been a long day," Red agreed softly.

"Mom," Julio said quietly from the back seat.

"What?" Gloria turned around in her seat to look at him.

"Dave just texted and asked if Benny and I wanted to go bowling with some people later," he held out his phone to show her the message, "do you care if we do?"

"You want to go bowling right after you leave your Tia's funeral?" Gloria asked a bit incredulously, "you feel up to that?"

"Well, it sounds a lot better than sitting around feeling sad all afternoon," Julio replied, "and Tia hated it when we'd 'mope around' anyway."

"He's right," Red smiled over at Gloria.

"Yeah, I guess so then," Gloria shrugged, "have fun."

"I didn't say that I wanted to go," Benny said in annoyance.

"If you don't want to go then don't go," Gloria answered simply, "and let's stop talking about this. We're here."

The procession of cars all came to a stop and pulled off on the side of the road by the cemetery. They all got out and began the depressing walk behind the hearse on the way to Lourdes' burial plot. Gloria held out her hands to her sons and her heart felt lighter when they both reciprocated. Whatever else they still needed to work on, all three of them had loved Lourdes, depended on her, and butted heads with her more times than they could count. United in grief, what had happened today just reminded them of how fickle life was, how quickly it could end, and how much they needed one another. Bringing them together through emotional connectivity was Lourdes final gift to them.

When they reached the grave site, her boys let go of her hands at the same time and walked over to help Red's sons bring over the casket. The crowd of mourners all closed in making Gloria feel claustrophobic. Several people reached out to touch her and offer her sympathy, and Gloria forced a fixed smile on her face as she walked away.

"I lost you," Gloria hissed, reaching out to grip the silky fabric of the black blouse Red was wearing.

"I had to stop and talk to my boss," Red explained apologetically, "he came to pay his respects. And then asked me if I could cover Lourdes' shifts next week. I said no. I'm not leaving you more than I have to." She covered Gloria's hand on her arm with her own and they made there way over to Julio and Benny. They were both standing beside the coffin with their hands stuffed into their pockets. Father Bryson nodded at Gloria and then began to lead them all in the burial prayers.

"Come here," Red whispered, reaching out to touch Julio's arm. Keeping his head bowed so that nobody would see the tears in his eyes, Julio moved close enough so that Red could wrap her arm around him.

"In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through Our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God, Lourdes, and we commit her body to the ground," Father Bryson said as he blessed the coffin with holy water.

"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

It was over. Gloria let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding and relinquished her grip on Red's arm so that she could brush the tears from her eyes. She was ready to go to bed. To pull the covers over her head and sleep until tomorrow. Blinking rapidly, she lifted her head in time to see Benny walking over to the chain-link fence surrounding the perimeter. She thought about going after him but then decided to give him a few minutes alone. She took a few steps over to the casket and gently touched the beautiful red carnations that still sat atop it.

"Goodbye, Tia," Gloria whispered, "I'm sorry."

Glancing at the priest, as though afraid of getting a reprimand should he notice, Gloria plucked a flower from the bouquet and slipped it into her handbag. She turned around and was relieved to see that most of the people gathered had started to disperse. Red and Julio had walked over to join the rest of her family.

It was then that she saw them. Two beautiful women, both taller than herself and with long wavy brown hair. They were walking towards a car with their backs to her, but Gloria knew it was them. Her heart hammering in her chest, Gloria began moving towards them. Her walk transitioned into a run as she inwardly panicked that they might drive away before she reached them.

"Valentina! Carmen!" Gloria called.

The two women halted in their steps and slowly turned back around. Gloria stopped in front of them, panting slightly.

"I didn't know you were coming," Gloria said.

"Daddy passed on your message," Carmen said with a tight-lipped smile, "and Valentina and I wanted to come pay our respects to Tia Lourdes.

"I'm glad he did," Gloria replied, "I wasn't even sure that I still had the right number…and nobody was home when I called so I had to leave a voicemail."

"We got the message," Valentina said, her tone a little sharp.

"Good," Gloria swallowed nervously, "it's just…wow. You both look so beautiful. All grown up."

"It's been a long time," Valentina replied, "I suppose it only makes sense that we'd have aged since then. You look different too."

"Daddy told us that you're out of prison now," Carmen tucked a lock of her hair behind one ear, "I was really happy to hear that."

"Yeah," Gloria bit her lip.

"I just meant that I'm glad to see you out and looking well," Carmen hiccupped nervously, "it is nice to see you."

"It's so nice to see you," Gloria replied, "are you both okay? Is everything good?"

"Everything is fine," Carmen nodded, "really—"

"Carmen, I think that is Lida," Valentina interrupted, "we were wondering when we saw her get up to give that reading."

She turned back to Gloria, "do you know if that's Lida Kozlova?"

"Lida Reznikov," answered Gloria, "I suppose Kozlova must have been her maiden name. You know her?"

"I'm going to go say hello," Valentina said, "do you want to come Car?"

"I'll catch up in a few minutes," Carmen replied. She looked back at Gloria and smiled shyly.

"Lida lived across the street from us," Carmen explained, "we used to be really good friends. We lost touch after high school though."

Gloria watched from a distance as Valentina ran over to embrace Red's daughter-in-law. Lida's mouth opened wide in astonishment and she jumped up and down excitedly. Valentina pointed over at where Carmen and Gloria were standing. Lida waved and then started to walk over.

"Carmen!" Lida exclaimed, opening her arms up to give her friend a big hug, "Wow! I never expected to see you."

"Lourdes was our aunt," Valentina explained.

"So, are you their aunt? Cousins?" Lida asked Gloria curiously, "what a small world!"

"I'm their mother," Gloria said faintly.

"Really?" Lida asked, looking confused. She had known Valentina and Carmen since they were kids. She had used their house as a refuge whenever she had needed a break from her overbearing father. Their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez, had always done their best to make Lida feel at home. In all that time, she had never seen or heard about Gloria. Valentina and Carmen had always referred to Mrs. Ramirez as their mother.

"It's a long story," Valentina said stiffly.

"How do you two know one another?" Carmen asked, looking between Gloria and Lida.

"Through my husband's family," Lida answered simply, not elaborating.

"Vasily and I have been married for about five years now. This is baby number three." She patted her stomach.

"We always predicted that you would be the first one of us to get married and have babies," Carmen smiled.

"Probably because I was the only one who didn't go to college," Lida laughed, "although I wish I could have invited you two to the wedding. It was very small though."

"Ian and I finally made it official last year," Valentina said, "but we hadn't spoken to you in years so I didn't think to ask you."

"It's sad," Carmen sighed, "remember how we always said we would be one another's bridesmaids?"

"You're married?" Gloria asked Valentina in amazement.

"Yes," Valentina nodded.

"Okay," Gloria let out a breath and turned to Carmen, "are you married too?"

"Not yet," Carmen replied.

Lida's eyes darted around the group and she bit her lip anxiously at the obvious tension that existed between them. It confused her, because Gloria seemed like a lovely person. She couldn't understand what had happened.

"Well, I suppose there is a lot of catching up to do," Lida said softly, "and it would be really nice to go out sometime with you guys. Just like old times."

"Yeah, definitely," Valentina agreed, "I'm not on Facebook. Do you have a cell?"

"Yeah, just give me a second," Lida said, rummaging around in her handbag for her phone. She pulled it out and got it ready to add a new contact.

"I'll text you later," Lida smiled, "and we can make plans."

She adjusted her purse on her shoulder, "I need to get going now. My daughter is ready to go home and take her nap."

"I remember what that's like," Valentina replied, as she gave Lida a hug goodbye.

"My daughter," Valentina explained, turning to look at Gloria, "she's five. I'm not sure if anybody told you…"

"No," Gloria said, a lump forming in her throat so large that it made her voice raspy.

"Her name's Gabby," Valentina said awkwardly, "Gabriella. I might have a picture I can show you." She pulled her own phone out of her pocket.

"Okay," Lida breathed, "I'm going to go."

She reached for Gloria's hand and squeezed it, "be sure to let Vasily and I know if there is anything more that we can do."

"Just…. thank you so much for helping out today," Gloria told her, trying her hardest to smile, "you have no idea how much it meant to me."

"I was happy to do it," Lida replied, pulling Gloria into a hug, "I'll see you very soon. Maybe we could all have dinner this weekend?"

"I'd like that," Gloria replied.

Lida hugged her friends' goodbye and then walked away. She was so grateful to be leaving, although she felt awful for Gloria. Lida knew what great girls her friends were and was sure there was a very good reason for their disengagement from their mother. However, the shattered look on Gloria's face was exactly what she didn't need when she was already suffering a tragic loss. Nobody deserved that.

"Mama," Lida said, gripping Red's arm tightly as she reached her side. Red had been absentmindedly wandering through the graves and reading headstones while she waited for Gloria.

"Did you know that those are Gloria's daughters that she's talking to?" Lida asked.

"Yes, Julio told me," Red replied, "she hasn't seen them in many years."

"That was pretty obvious," Lida said quietly.

"Why were you over there?" asked Red, "do you know them?"

"They were my best friends," Lida replied, "I told you about them before. I never made the connection though. It's so sad."

"It is sad," Red agreed, "I told Julio he should go say hello to them but he didn't want to. He asked for my keys so he could go listen to music in the car instead."

"Where's Benny?" asked Lida.

"I think he went for a walk," Red replied, "everyone else has left. Vasily went to put the kids in the car and now he's just waiting for you."

"Well, obviously there are two sides to every story," Lida said, "and Valentina and Carmen are great people…. but, I can tell Gloria is very upset. She never even knew that Val had gotten married or had a baby. They could have written her a letter…"

"I don't know," Red sighed, "to be honest, I don't know that much about what happened. It's a painful subject. She doesn't like to talk about it."

Lida sighed, "I can't even imagine."

"You better go catch up to your husband and children," Red said weakly.

"Yeah," Lida agreed, leaning forward to kiss Red's cheek, "call me later if you want."

"I will," Red nodded.

Red's stomach twisted in a knot and tears prickled in her eyes. She felt a fury within at the outrage that anybody could treat Gloria that way. She was the loveliest person Red had ever known and she didn't deserve the heartbreak of being dismissed and rejected by her own children. Red couldn't fathom what Gloria could possibly have done to pay this ultimate price. It took all of Red's willpower not to go over and interrupt whatever it was they were still talking about. That wasn't her place. Instead she decided to look for Benny. Julio had texted her that he wasn't in the car and the last place Red had seen him was by the chain-link fence that encased the graveyard. He probably just wanted some time alone, but he was a sensitive boy and his aunt had just died. Red needed to make sure that he was alright. It didn't matter if he hated her.


	12. Chapter 12

Red was running her fingers absentmindedly along the fence as she walked, keeping an eye out for Gloria's wayward son. This cemetery was surprisingly a very peaceful place. Picturesque, with an abundance of flowers and tall maple trees. Benny wasn't seated on any of the many benches that she passed but she knew he must be around here somewhere. She had already texted Julio to verify that his brother had not returned the car. He had clearly gone off somewhere to be alone and predictably would not be thrilled by her intrusion.

She neared a small bank that dipped down into a hidden grove of trees pressed closer together. Resting her hand on the rough bark of the tallest, Red looked down the hill and could see Benny sitting alone in the grass at the very bottom. His legs were bent and his head was buried in his lap. He wasn't making a sound though and it didn't seem like he was crying. After a moment's hesitation, where she questioned if disturbing him was crossing too many lines, Red began to approach. She couldn't leave him alone there. She stepped on a twig and it cracked loudly beneath her foot. Benny flinched at the sound and then spun around to see who was there. His lip quivered and he let out a groan of frustration when their eyes met.

"Is it time to go?" he asked, covering his face with his hands as he turned away from her, "you could have just texted me to come back instead of walking all the way out here.

"We're not in any rush," Red replied.

"Then can you just leave me alone?" Benny asked, his voice shaky, "please?"

"I needed to make sure that you were okay," Red replied.

"Why?" Benny asked, shrugging the jacket of his suit off and dropping it in the grass beside him. He tugged at the collar of his shirt and undid a couple of buttons.

"Because I care about you," Red answered, "and I worry about you when you disappear."

Benny grabbed fistfuls of his hair and kept determinedly facing away from her. His knees were shaking and probably couldn't have supported his weight right now if he had tried to stand. Red understood what was happening to him. She had seen it more times in her life than she cared to count.

"Just breathe honey," Red said. She placed a hand on his shoulder, whether to comfort him or to steady herself as she sat down in the grass beside him, Benny wasn't sure.

"Don't call me honey," he panted, "I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I just need five minutes alone and I'll come back.

" I need you to take a few deep breaths for me," Red said, "in and out. It will help.

Benny made a sound of frustration and covered his face with his hands once again. She obviously wasn't going to listen to him. After a few more minutes Red could see his chest beginning to rise and fall at a more regular pace. He was doing as she said. He was starting to catch his breath.

"That's it," Red murmured encouragingly, reaching into her purse for a bottle of water.

"Have a little drink," she held it out to him.

"Thank you," Benny muttered, unscrewing the cap and taking a large swig. His throat hand been dry. He downed the entire bottle while Red sat beside him patiently. Then he began nervously squeezing at the plastic with both of his hands. It made loud cracking sounds.

"Your heart still feels like it's racing?" Red said, almost more of a statemen than a question. Benny absentmindedly placed his hand over his heart at the question.

"Maybe?" he said uncertainly, "how did you know that?"

"Just keep focusing on your breathing," Red said softly, "it helps."

Benny inhaled and exhaled steadily, while tearing the paper wrapped around the water bottle into tiny pieces. Red nodded approvingly and leaned back on her hands. She wasn't going to go anywhere.

"My husband was very prone to panic attacks," Red told him, "and nearly everybody gets them on their first couple of days in prison. I'm pretty good at recognizing the signs."

"Why did your husband get them?" asked Benny.

"I'm not sure," Red shrugged, "if he were here he'd probably say that it was because I was a cold, distant, terrible wife."

"Huh," Benny snorted.

"But he had them before we met so I don't think it was my fault," Red continued.

"I don't think it was your fault," said Benny, "you're actually helping me right now. Distracting me."

"Good," said Red. "Some people are probably just more predisposed to have them. Does it happen to you a lot?"

"Not as much since mom came home," Benny admitted, "and usually I can control them better than this."

"Well this is an exceptionally difficult day," Red reminded him.

"Yeah," Benny sighed.

"A shock like that needs to come out somehow," Red said, "panic attacks, tears, anger…it gets you one way or another. Keeping it bottled up usually makes it worse. It helps to talk."

"I keep expecting Tia to show up and yell at me about something," Benny scoffed, "and then I have to remind myself that she's dead."

"You know she loved you though, right?" Red asked, "I used to yell at my sons all the time and I love them more than life itself."

"That's because you're their mom," Benny said, "of course, you love them. Lourdes just had to take us in so we wouldn't get put in foster care. She didn't really want us."

"She probably didn't want to be your guardian," Red agreed, "but that's just because she was supposed to be your aunt and get to do all of the fun things. Like me with my grandchildren. I love every minute that I have with them but then it's nice to hand them back to their parents. Lourdes didn't get to do that with you and Julio. It doesn't mean she loved you any less."

"She always said she was too old to be raising kids," Benny sucked in his breath, "said that I was going to put her in an early grave. And she was right."

"You didn't kill her Benny," Red said, looking affronted, "she died because that's what happens to all of us eventually. It's nobody's fault."

"I was always such a jerk to her," said Benny, "She said the way I was broke her heart. I skipped school, got into trouble all the time, talked back, didn't do my chores…"

"That's normal kid misbehaviour," Red cut him off, "and I mean, Nicky still does things like that and she's in her thirties. Now, if you get to be her age and still act like that I might have something to say. But right now, I think it would be stranger if you didn't do things like that time to time. You're only sixteen years old."

"Julio doesn't act like that," Benny pointed out, "he's always good."

"You and Julio are two different people," Red replied, "and you're not going to react to things in the same way. After everything that you have been through, I think it makes sense that you would be angry and act out a little bit."

"It's not good though," Benny mumbled.

"Well, no," Red smiled slightly, "it's frustrating. It's like your feelings towards me. I wish you didn't hate me but it's okay that you do. I understand."

"I never said I hated you," said Benny, "I don't."

"That's something then," Red said, "and that makes me feel much better. I've been very mad at myself for the way that I treated you. When I didn't turn up that night at your school."

"I'm over that," Benny said, "it's not a big deal."

"It's a very big deal," Red said shortly, "because getting to be a part of your life is a privilege that I should never have taken for granted."

"Privilege?" Benny said skeptically, "more like a headache."

"It's an honour," Red insisted, "and sometimes maybe just a little bit of a headache, but that's every kid. My sons were always a handful, but nothing has ever made me happier in this life than getting to be a mother."

"You're not my mother though," Benny reminded her.

"I know," Red replied, "but I still really enjoyed it when we used to spend time together. You can amuse the hell out of me and you're so talented."

"Talented," Benny rolled his eyes, "I'm in summer school because I suck so bad."

"When I was in school I had to repeat a few subjects," Red said, "but I excelled in other classes. Everyone is different. You wrote a paper that was awarded out of the entire grade and you were one of the best players on the basketball team. You do a lot of things well, when you want to."

"Did you like plan a speech or something before you got here?" Benny asked, trying not to let her see that he was smiling.

"No," Red shook her head, "but I think about you all the time and I worry. I know you don't believe me, but there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove it."

"You think it's going to take that long?" Benny asked.

"I don't know," Red shrugged, "you're pretty stubborn. You'd probably make a good lawyer if you liked school a little more."

Feeling her phone buzz in her purse, Red took it out and put on her glasses so that she could read the message. Feeling nosy, Benny leaned over to read what it said. It was from Julio and he wanted to know how much longer he was going to have to wait.

"I guess we have been gone a long time," Red said, "are you ready to go back?"

"I guess," Benny shrugged. Before he moved away, Red reached up a hand to pat the side of his head.

"So, are you okay? Are we okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," Benny answered, pressing his head against her hand.

"Thank you," she said, scratching her nails on his scalp momentarily before letting him go.

"So…. what subjects did you fail when you went to school?" Benny asked with a grin, as they began their walk back to the car.

"Science," Red wrinkled her nose, "they wanted me to cut open a pig and take it apart. It was disgusting. I skipped school all that week just to get out of it."

"You skipped too?" Benny looked impressed, "did you get suspended?"

"No, the principal hit me with his belt," Red replied, "which I knew to expect as punishment. I just hadn't expected it to happen right in the hallway in front of my classmates. That was embarrassing."

"They aren't allowed to do that anymore," Benny said, "although I always thought punishing a student for missing school by making them miss more school was pretty dumb."

"It is stupid," agreed Red, "I don't understand that logic either."

"Did you know that your sisters came to the funeral?" she asked, "your mom was talking to them when I left to find you."

"They were here?" Benny said incredulously, "thank God I hid then. I don't like them."

"Why not?" asked Red.

"Because they hate me and Julio," Benny replied. "The last time I saw them was over ten years ago. Valentina called us mom's replacement kids and they left as soon as we finished eating dinner. They wouldn't even stay for dessert. It made mom cry."

"Oh," Red said sadly.

They reached the car. Gloria was leaning against it smoking a cigarette. Julio had all the windows rolled down and the door open so that he wouldn't get overheated. The area was completely vacant, aside for themselves. Valentina and Carmen had already left.

"What were you doing?" Gloria asked, looking confused. The skin around her eyes was red and blotchy. She looked exhausted and sad. Red felt a smidgeon of guilt for making her and Julio wait so long, but talking things out with Benny had needed to take precedent above all else. Gloria would be happy when she learned what had happened.

"Talking," Red answered simply, as Benny sat down in the backseat of the car. Julio got out of the driver's seat and handed Red her keys before he jumped in beside his brother. Once she had sat down and buckled her seatbelt, Red glanced back at the boys in her rear-view mirror.

"Do you still want to go meet your friend, Julio?" she asked.

"Yeah," Julio said, "if it's not too much trouble to drop me off. I can take the bus back later."

"I think I'll go too," Benny told his brother.

Red smiled, "you guys can borrow the car if you'd like."

"Really?" Julio said, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Red replied.

As they drove away from the cemetery, Gloria and her sons all turned to stare back at the place where they had laid their Tia to rest. Red's feelings were bittersweet. Although tremendously saddened, she felt like Lourdes' had played a hand in giving Benny back to her today. And she would never take him for granted again. Lourdes would be able to rest in peace in the safe knowledge that Gloria, Julio, and Benny were not alone in the world and never would be again. All Red wanted to do was love and be good to them for the rest of her life. It was the most important thing.


	13. Chapter 13

Relieved didn't even begin to describe how Gloria was feeling when they finally got to Red's apartment. One of the longest days of her entire life was finally over and she didn't have to go anywhere or do anything until the morning. Her eyes felt raw and sore, the inside of her cheek hurt from biting it, and her body felt cold all over in spite of the warm weather. Her mind felt foggy as she glanced around the comfortable familiarity of Red's living room. It already felt like home.

She had never been able to spend an entire night sleeping next to Red before. Or be able to wake up to her in the morning. For the last couple of days, Gloria had done both. It had provided a comfort like no other. The boys had both been content to stay there as well. Red had been keeping them well fed and they all had spent much of the time gathered in the living room bingeing episodes of a show they all liked. Things had been lazy and quiet, which was exactly what they needed. Gloria knew that her sons weren't looking forward to returning to Lourdes empty apartment anymore than she was. Going back would just make her absence feel all the more real. But it was something they needed to do.

"Are you hungry?" Red asked, hanging both her and Gloria's purses on the coat hook next to the door, "you didn't eat anything at lunch…"

Gloria shook her head. It made her feel nauseous to even think about food right now. Her stomach still felt like it was in knots. She couldn't stop replaying her conversation with her daughters over and over in her head. There was so much more that she could have said, that they needed to know, but it probably didn't matter anyway. Valentina and Carmen had made it clear a long time ago that they felt they were better off without a mother like her in their lives. Had she not caught up to them, her daughters would have happily drove away without so much as a nod in her direction.

Red wrapped her arms around Gloria in a hug from behind. She kissed the back of her neck and Gloria allowed her head to fall forward, her chin against her chest. Red stroked her hand up Gloria's torso and then began to kneed at the tense muscles in Gloria's neck with surprising strength. Her other arm was still wrapped around Gloria's waist, holding her close.

"I love you, Galina," Gloria whispered, closing her eyes, "you know that?"

Red kissed her neck again, "I had a feeling," she breathed in Gloria's ear, "and it's incredibly fortunate, because I love you too."

Gloria sighed and traced her fingers over the raised lines on the back of Red's soft hand. Her mind was whirling with images of everything that had happened this morning. Of everything she had seen. The coffin, the flowers, the pile of freshly dug earth. The sight of her daughters walking away after giving her awkward hugs goodbye. She smiled as she thought about how handsome Julio and Benny had looked in their suits, and the muscles in her face felt oddly stiff at the movement. More than anything else, Gloria couldn't stop thinking about the little girl that Valentina had shown her a picture of. Gabriella—Gabby. She had unknowingly been a grandmother for five years.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Red asked, "hmm?"

"No," Gloria shook her head. She gripped Red's hand and held it firmly against her abdomen. Her eyes stared lazily around the small apartment. She was tired but her mind was so full that she knew sleep of any sort would be impossible right now. Gloria carefully read the titles inscribed on the spines of Red's books and then she squinted at the framed photographs hung on the far wall. She just needed something to focus on—a distraction. She found it in the details of Red's home and it soothed her.

Resting her massaging hand on Gloria's shoulder, Red steered her towards the couch. They sat down. Gloria leaning her back against her.

"Your daughters came," Red stated, squeezing Gloria's hand as she spoke.

"Yeah," Gloria said, "I called their Dad because I thought they should know."

"How did that go?" asked Red, beginning to run her fingers through Gloria's short hair.

"I didn't actually talk to him," Gloria replied, "I left a voicemail."

"Well, at least he passed along the message," Red said quietly, searching for a silver lining in a situation that clearly had Gloria very upset.

"Danny is very good at making himself _look_ like the good guy," Gloria sighed, "which has served him well over the years."

"At your expense?" Red asked quietly, her hand held still.

"Sometimes," Gloria said vaguely.

"Lida told me about the baby," Red said quietly.

"Did she run over to tell you everything she heard as soon as she could?" Gloria scoffed.

"She was upset for you," Red defended. She pinched Gloria's earlobe between her index finger and thumb and tugged on it teasingly. Gloria couldn't help but give a small smile and lean back deeper into Red's arms.

"She's not a baby," Gloria said quietly, "she's five years old."

"What's her name?" asked Red, and she kissed the back of Gloria's head.

"Gabriella," Gloria said softly.

"I like that," said Red, "it's pretty."

"At least I know about her now," Gloria sighed.

"Are you going to meet her?" asked Red.

Gloria shrugged. She tilted her head back so that she could kiss Red's jawbone and then she straightened up. She turned over and got onto her knees, facing her. Red took in the bloodshot eyes that looked both tired and sad, and reached out a hand to gently stroke her beloved's face. Almost at the same instant, Gloria leaned in. Her hands firmly holding Red's face, she attacked her mouth with hungry lips.

"Mmmm," Red uttered, and her eyes widened in surprise. Gloria moved closer on her knees to straddle Red's lap. She rubbed herself against her thigh. Rocking, as she leaned even deeper into the kiss. Her tongue was pushing against Red's lips, encouraging them to open.

Obediently parting her lips, Red kissed her back with an enthusiasm that took Gloria's breath away. Gloria stopped clutching Red's face, moving her hands lower so that she could fondle her breasts. Continuing to grind, Gloria made a noise of protest as Red grasped her hips and held her steady. Pecking her lips once more briefly, she gently pulled back.

"You feel cold," Red said gently. She stroked her thumbs over Gloria's hips and squeezed lovingly. "Do you want me to draw you a bath? It might help you sleep." She tucked a strand of hair behind Gloria's ear. "Take advantage of the quiet while the boys are out. I know that you've got to be exhausted."

"Maybe I'll go take a shower," Gloria said flatly, letting go of Red's breasts.

She stood up off of the couch and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the water, Gloria reached for her towel and laid it next to the bathroom sink where she would be able to reach it easily. Then she reached behind her back to undo the zipper of her dress.

"I'll do it," Red's voice purred in her ear. She slipped one hand down the back of Gloria's dress and used her other to slowly unzip her. Gloria shook out her arms and the dress slid to the floor. In her black bra and lacy panties, Gloria turned around to face her. She took one step forward and pressed their cheeks together.

"Get in with me," she pleaded, "come keep me company."

"Alright," Red said. She undid the clasp of Gloria's bra and in seconds it and her panties had joined her dress on the floor. She pulled back the shower curtain for Gloria to enter and then she removed her own clothing.

The bathroom was already good and steamy since Gloria always set the water's temperature to as hot as was bearable. She stood under the shower head and murmured a note of appreciation as the pressure rained down on her. When Red stepped in, Gloria reached out a hand and pulled her over. Wrapping her arm around Gloria's shoulders, Red angled herself towards her and kissed her temple. Their eyes met and they both leaned forward for a soft and gentle kiss. Gloria smiled and licked away the dewy drops of water on Red's lips.

"Are you going to make plans to see your daughters again soon?" Red asked, squeezing Gloria's hand supportively.

"I didn't make plans to see them today," Gloria reminded her, "more like charged after them like a crazy person while they tried to slip away unnoticed."

"But then they stayed and talked," Red persisted, "that's good." She placed her finger under Gloria's chin and nudged her head up. The water slid down her back and Red used her hand to stroke Gloria's hair.

"What did you talk about?" Gloria asked, stepping out from under the water current so that she could lather up her hair with shampoo.

"Hmm?" Red stared at her questioningly.

"With Benny," Gloria clarified, "when you came back to the car you said that you'd been talking."

"He was having a pretty severe panic attack when I got there," said Red, "but it passed."

"That must have been why he walked off," Gloria bit her lip, "he didn't want anyone to see him like that."

"He wanted me to go but I couldn't leave him like that," said Red.

"And he didn't get mad?" asked Gloria.

"No, once he was starting to feel better I think he was glad not to be alone," said Red, "and he listened to me and we talked. I think things are going to be okay."

"Really?" Gloria's eyes softened. She leaned back under the water to wash the suds out of her hair.

"I care about him a lot, Gloria," Red said sincerely, "and not just because of you."

"He needs that," said Gloria, blinking as tears ran down her cheeks, "because I can't ever hurt him again. I need to make him feel safe and loved."

"Benny told me that he hasn't had as many panic attacks since you got home," said Red, "just you being near him is making all the difference. He just needs his mother."

"I need him just as much," said Gloria, "and Julio. My two boys. I wouldn't be able to bear it if they started hating me again like their sisters do."

"None of them have ever hated you, Gloria," Red replied, "they were mad at you. There's a big difference."

"My girls didn't even like me much as babies," Gloria sniffled. She borrowed Red's sponge and lathered up some soap to wash her body.

"What do you mean?" asked Red patiently. She gently took the sponge and ran it over Gloria's collar bone and across her breasts.

"They were their daddy's girls," said Gloria, "they never really were mine. As toddlers when they'd fall and get hurt, they'd run right past me to cling to Danny. Every morning when he'd leave for work, they'd wrap themselves around his legs and beg to go with him instead of staying home with me. I may as well have been invisible."

"He spoiled them?" Red guessed. She gripped Gloria's shoulder and gently turned her around so that she could wash her back.

"He was completely infatuated with them," said Gloria, "his two little angels who could do no wrong. I mean, he was a great father, just not a very good husband. Valentina and Carmen knew who was running that house. It got so bad that I couldn't even ask them to pick up a dish without them crying to daddy about their mean mommy. And he'd always take their side."

"That's terrible," Red said in disgust, "and I'm not so sure he was a great father. A good father would treat the mother of his children with respect. He wouldn't have even had them without you."

"It was bad," Gloria agreed. She stepped back under the waterflow so that she could wash all of the soap from her body.

"I didn't want to get a divorce because I knew the girls would want to stay with him," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. Over the last couple of days, Gloria had cried more than she had probably cried in years.

"Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore," she reached out to touch Red's hand, "so I begged Lourdes to let me leave him and let me come back home. I packed up and moved that night."

"What happened after that?" Red whispered, tears prickling her own eyes as she hung onto Gloria's every word. This woman she adored and loved, who still kept so many secrets buried deep within her heart. So much of Gloria was a mystery. And as much as Red wanted to be let in so she could learn and love every part of her, she also wanted to unburden her. Gloria didn't need to carry it all alone anymore.

"They were mad at me for making their Dad sad," Gloria rolled her eyes, "even though he had been cheating on me since before they were born. At the time of our divorce he was f**king my best friend. They got married about a year later and are still together. I still don't understand how he was nice to Sarai and treated her like an equal partner but never could do the same for me. I guess I just wasn't good enough."

Tears rolled down her cheeks and a deep ugly sob croaked out of her throat. She looked so broken, and beautiful, and vulnerable in that moment. Standing naked in a shower with nowhere to hide. She was visible. Her hurt was displayed. And Red had never loved her more. She wrapped Gloria in an embrace and the water that poured down on them camouflaged Gloria's tears, cleansing her soul in the same way it had cleansed her body.

"You're not just good enough," Red told her, as Gloria bit down hard on her shoulder and continued to cry, "you are the best. And whatever happened with your daughters is not your fault. It's his fault."

"They adore him," Gloria choked.

"They'd adore you just as much if he hadn't been undermining and ridiculing you to them all the time," Red said firmly, "and maybe now that they are all grown up they'll be able to see that. Being nice to them doesn't make up for how he treated you."

"I did so many stupid things though," Gloria panted desperately, "I mean, even before I got myself arrested. I slept around and had affairs. The boys' father had a wife and children that I wanted him to leave for me. I've been such a horrible example for my daughters. I'm not allowed to take the high moral ground here."

"You do with me," Red replied, "because you left out all the amazing things about you. All the things that I love. We've both f**ked up, but we're not those people anymore. And I don't want you to feel guilty about any of that anymore. It's okay."

"Mmmmmm," Gloria let out another sob and buried her face against Red's neck. Tears were flowing from Red's eyes now as they held one another and relinquished this pain together. The pain of a lifetime of mistakes that no longer needed to define them. And for Gloria, a guilt that never should have belonged to her. It wasn't her fault, at least not all of it. She had tried.

They stood holding one another until the hot water turned warm and then cool. Then they hurried out of the shower and into dry towels. There were no more tears. Both were quiet. Back in Red's bedroom they crawled beneath the covers and immediately found their way back into one another's arms.

"Thank you for telling me," Red said softly, "for trusting me."

"I trust you," Gloria whispered weakly. Her voice so soft it was barely audible.

"Do you want to rest?" Red asked concernedly, "you've just been through way too much in these last few days."

"No," Gloria shook her head, "I don't need to rest. I need you to love me."

She took Red's hand and placed it over her bare breast. Her left leg wedged between both of Red's and she leaned forward to kiss her lips gently.

"Please," Gloria pleaded, "just love me right now."

The hand on Gloria's breast tightened. The other stroked the damp hair away from Gloria's beautiful face. Red leaned over to whisper in Gloria's ear.

"I'll love you forever," she said, "the way that you always should have been."


	14. Chapter 14

Lourdes absence created a large and unfillable void that Gloria and her sons tried their hardest not to dwell upon. It wasn't always possible to ignore though. Lourdes' strong personality had left its imprint on nearly everything they touched. There was very little that didn't invoke some memory of her. They had moved back the day after the funeral and it had been every bit as difficult as Gloria had expected it to be. Healing would take time.

Staying busy seemed to be the best remedy for coping with sadness. The first few days back home, Gloria barely looked up from the to-do list that she was constantly adding more items to. She sorted through all of Lourdes possessions. She kept some, donated most, and boxed away the sentimental pieces that were too difficult to look at right now. Gloria cleaned with a fury, attacking the kitchen, the living room, and threatening her sons to ensure their bedroom was in pristine condition before she inspected. She decluttered the place and made Lourdes' room into her own. As summer continued its progression, the loss became just a little bit easier to bear.

The worst thing was being faced with just how much the world demanded of a person when somebody they loved had died. As the executor of her aunt's estate, everything needed to be handled by Gloria. Red may have saved her a bit of the immediate hassle by taking care of the funeral arrangements, but nobody could handle the finances for her. Bills continued to come in Lourdes' name, meetings with the bank needed to happen, papers needed to be signed, calls needed to be made. It was a position that would overwhelm just about anybody, but it was especially terrifying for someone like Gloria. She had been imprisoned and convicted of fraud. Dealing with banks and handling all of these financial dealings was confusing and humiliating. She felt mistrusted by every person she interacted with.

At least she had some help. Yuri Reznikov had worked as a bank teller since he had graduated from high school. He had managed his father's estate after he died and had taken care of his mother's money until she could handle it herself. Although not affiliated with the same bank that Lourdes had used, Yuri knew a fair bit about the process Gloria was currently struggling through. He asked one of his good friends who was a financial advisor to provide some free advice and had even accompanied her when she went to talk to the bank. Gloria had teased Red that even if she'd wanted to break up she couldn't because her kids were so great.

Everything was at long last coming together. Lourdes' estate hadn't been too difficult to settle once Gloria had a person helping that knew what they were doing. Everything had been kept in perfect order. Lourdes had apparently taken deliberate measures to ensure that her death would cause the least amount of inconvenience possible. Although poor all her life, she had been careful and smart. As a result, there was no debt that Gloria needed to contend with. Lourdes had taken out a life insurance policy that had covered everything and even included a small stipend for her three family members. She had always taken care of them.

Shortly after the funeral, Gloria had finally gotten a call for an interview. Finding employment had been the last piece of the puzzle and her greatest source of anxiety. Now she was spending long days on her feet in high heels at a men's clothing store. She took measurements, pinned jackets and pants to be tailored, and listened as men of all ages complained and flirted with her. The more distinguished business men would often hit on her in the condescending way that said she should consider herself flattered to receive attention from men as successful as they were. Yet, most of the time her customers amused her and she was glad to wake up and go to work every morning. She had a steady income and was succeeding at providing for her two sons single-handedly for the first time in her life. Although required to work Saturdays, Gloria was home every night to eat dinner with them and to help Benny with his summer-school homework. It was a normal, simple, honest life and she wouldn't change a thing about it.

"I'm home," Gloria called, as she walked into her apartment a few minutes after six. She frowned at the lack of response. Julio and Benny were both usually back by this time and waiting for her.

She walked over to the table and put down the pizza that she had gotten for supper. Lifting one foot and then the other, she pulled off her black high heels and stood in the kitchen in her nylons and the black dress that she had worn to Lourdes' funeral. It now had been converted into a staple in her work wardrobe.

She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and checked to see if she had any missed messages. She had three. One each from Julio and Benny letting her know that they were going to see a movie with some friends and would not be home for dinner. The third was a meme that Nicky must have thought was hilarious and decided to forward to her. Gloria rolled her eyes. She would have gone straight over to Red's for the evening had she known the boys would be out. Wouldn't have had to spend money on a pizza for them to eat either. She still wasn't used to communicating via cell phone and sometimes would forget to look at it all day. It annoyed everyone, but technology had changed a lot in the past ten years. She was still adjusting.

Standing on tiptoe, Gloria reached into the cupboard for a place and then placed two slices of pizza on it. She reached into the fridge for a can of Dr. Pepper and then padded down the hall to the living room. Sitting down on the sofa, she perched her feet on top of the armrest to elevate them. Walking around in heels all day was no joke and she had forgotten to change into her sneakers before leaving the store at the end of her shift. Reaching lazily for the remote control on the coffee table, Gloria flicked the television on to a program she liked. Taking a bite of her still warm slice, Gloria settled back for some much needed relaxation.

She was off work for the next two days and she intended to be fully lazy the entire time. Life was finally beginning to settle down after a tumultuous and exhausting month. She needed a break. She was stressed and tired, but it was the kind that came with the satisfaction of a job well done. She had never felt prouder of herself or more blessed. She was providing for her two sons, they spent lots of time together, and she never felt like she was being pulled away from them by anyone. Red always encouraged Gloria as a mother and never tried to interfere or demand more of Gloria's attention for herself. It was such a change when Gloria looked back on the boyfriends who had always inwardly resented her sons' neediness even when they tried to pretend that they didn't. Perhaps that was one of the benefits of being with a woman. Women often seem to have a natural predisposition to be selfless, to make sacrifices, and to nurture. All Gloria knew for certain was that they were qualities in Red that she was forever thankful for. It would have been wonderful to live together, but the arrangement they had worked for now. The confidence that Gloria had gained from her independence was priceless.

Hands rested on her shoulder and she could feel velvety skin nuzzling at her neck. "You didn't even hear me come in," Red purred in her ear

"Hi!" Gloria giggled. She tilted her head back for a kiss.

"How was your day?" Red asked, stroking Gloria's cheek.

"Better now," Gloria replied, reaching a hand up so that she could run her fingers through Red's short tresses.

"The boys are at the movies?" Red asked.

"Mhmm," Gloria nodded, "how did you know that?"

"Where do you think they got the money?" asked Red. "Benny always blows through his allowance the day he gets it and Julio likes to save every penny he makes."

"Well aren't you generous," said Gloria, "or did you have an ulterior motive? Did you just want me to yourself tonight?"

"Maybe a bit longer than just tonight," Red replied vaguely. She leaned forward to kiss Gloria's lips. Enjoying the way she could feel Gloria's smile. Nibbling playfully on Gloria's bottom lip for a moment, Red pulled back.

"I won't interrupt your dinner," Red scratched her nails on the back of Gloria's neck, "although how you can qualify that greasy, processed, pizza as an adequate meal still escapes me."

"I'll still have room for dessert," Gloria said slyly, "so don't go too far." She took another bite of her slice and then followed Red back into the kitchen.

"What's all this?" Gloria asked, nodding at the table that had a tall stack of Tupperware containers sitting on it.

"It's for the boys," Red replied casually. She opened the fridge and began moving things around to create more space.

Gloria blinked, "do you think I starve them?"

"Of course not, darling," Red said smoothly, "this is just to keep them from going hungry when I kidnap you."

"Come again?" Gloria looked suspicious.

"All they have to do is reheat it," Red replied, "And I left them instructions. I made them enough for two lunches, two suppers—although we'll probably be home before dinnertime on Monday. They can have cereal and toast for breakfast. Oh, and I did them up some sweets as well in case they want a snack."

"You seem to have everything all planned out," Gloria crossed her arms, "care to let me in on what's happening?"

"What is happening is that you have been working so hard and been dealing with so much since you got home," Red replied. She closed the refrigerator door after putting everything into it and then leaned her back against it. Her legs were crossed at the ankle.

"So, when I found out that we both were going to be off these next two days I thought it would be fun if we went away, just you and me," said Red. "We've never done that before."

"Seriously?" Gloria looked amazed. She licked her lips and smiled.

"Yes," Red replied, "I've taken care of everything. Well…. almost everything. Just give me a minute to pack for you."

"You're crazy," Gloria laughed, skipping after her into the bedroom, "we can't just leave."

"Yes, we can," Red replied. She unzipped the small travel bag that she had brought over because she knew Gloria didn't have one.

"Julio and Benny can stay home alone for a couple of days," Red said, as she opened up the closet, "what's the worst that could happen?"

"Uh, they throw an unsupervised party and trash the place," Gloria sat down cross-legged on her bed, "not to mention the fact that Benny will play hooky from school on Monday morning if I'm not here to kick his ass out of bed."

"He promised me he'd go," Red replied, "and you can check in with his teacher when we get back to make sure that he did. As for a party? Julio wouldn't do that without permission and Benny doesn't like being around people, so not much danger there. Besides, they have plans tomorrow. Vasily and Lida invited them to go to the waterpark with them and they both said yes. So, they'll be busy all day and you can talk to them tomorrow night."

"You did think of everything," Gloria smiled, "Wow. So, where are we going?"

"Nowhere fancy," Red replied, as she folded some of Gloria's shirts into her bag for her, "just…away with me."

"That sounds amazing," Gloria sighed. She climbed off the bed and turned her back. "Unzip me. I want to change into something more casual."

Twenty minutes later they were walking down the block to where Red's car was parked waiting for them. Hand in hand, Gloria couldn't remember the last time that she had felt so happy or so loved. Nobody have ever planned a special getaway for her before. Most of the men she had dated in the past could barely sit through a dinner before they'd try to take her to bed.

This was all a new experience for Red too. As a mother of three boys, she had always been planning fun little adventures or outings to take them on. She loved going out to do things and couldn't tolerate just sitting around for too long. She liked being busy. However, she had never shared any of those moments with a partner before. Dmitri had often been absent from those family memories because he hadn't enjoyed them the way his wife had. Red hadn't missed him away. She had always preferred doing things on her own and had always been irritated when her husband would hang around invading her space.

For many years, Red had believed there was something wrong with her. She had accepted herself as a cold and unfeeling woman, incapable of getting close to anyone besides her own children. Now she knew that wasn't true. She couldn't get enough of Gloria and wanted to be with her all the time. She realized there had never been anything wrong with her before. She couldn't act the way Dmitri wanted his wife to be towards him because she hadn't been in love with him. She had never truly been in love before. And love, it seemed, made all of the difference.

"Oh, I forgot something that I need to grab," Gloria kissed Red's hand, "I'll be right back."

"I can go back with you," Red offered.

"That's okay," Gloria replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek, "why don't you focus on finding a radio station that we both will like? I'll be back in a minute."

She was quick. And a few short minutes later Gloria slid into the car and fasted her seatbelt. She smiled brightly at her and reached over to clutch Red's arm.

"What did you have to go get?" Red asked.

"Oh, I just had to check something," Gloria replied lightly. She held her purse tightly on her lap and glanced out the passenger side window. She smiled at her reflection in the side mirror. She was wearing her favourite sunglasses and thought she looked younger than she had in years.

"I don't usually like surprises," Gloria squeezed Red's arm, "but I like this one."

"I thought you would," Red replied.

A good song began playing on the radio as they drove up the runway and merged onto the highway. Wherever they were going, they were not staying in New York City. Gloria leaned forward to turn the song up and then placed her hand on Red's lap. She thumbed her fingers against her inner thigh and laughed when Red bit her lip and shook out her leg a bit, as though trying to shake her off.

"Problem, Galina?" Gloria teased.

"You're not supposed to distract the driver," Red smiled.

Ahh, come on, I barely touched you," Gloria replied, "Just wait until we get where we're going. You want me to tell you my ideas? Or would that be too distracting?"

"Talk to me," Red gave in.

"I knew you wanted to have an interesting road trip," Gloria said. She squeezed Red's thigh in the same place possessively.

They cruised down the highway for about an hour before turning off and beginning to drive through the rolling countryside. The sky above them was pink with the setting sun and the promise of a beautiful tomorrow. They passed golden fields, pastures for horses, and green hills where cows were grazing. They hadn't driven very far but the openness and the solitude of nature made it feel like they were on a different planet.

"Are you taking me to a farm?" Gloria asked, "because you know I've never been much of a country girl."

"Not a farm," Red replied, "we still have about twenty minutes more to go."

"Okay," Gloria said skeptically.

"You're not going to be roughing it," Red reassured her, "at least not on this trip. When we go down to the cabin in a couple of weeks it might be a different story."

"At least we won't be pitching a tent," Gloria replied, "because I never thought a piece of fabric was adequate protection from a bear or a wolf…although, I guess Benny will be around on that trip. He'd probably scare anything off."

"I'll bet he'd say the same thing about you," Red teased.

"And you promised me an actual bed and running water at this cabin, right?" Gloria asked.

"I did," Red smiled, "there aren't enough beds for everyone, though. The boys are going to need to sleep on air mattresses."

"Fine by me," Gloria replied.

Red reduced their speed as they approached the welcome sign for a small town that boasted a population of 1000 people. It was a quaint little place with old fashioned looking shops, a cinema, tavern, post office, bank, and not a whole lot more. It only took about a minute to drive through the entire town. At the edge was a gulf that lead down to the most beautiful, crystal clear lake. Built next to it was an elaborate hotel that had been reconverted from an old mansion. It looked like a castle.

"So pretty," Gloria smiled, when Red parked the car in a space next to it. She leaned forward to kiss her. "We're staying here? Where are we even?"

Red gave her a kiss in return, "It's a sleepy little town that sits on the same lake we'll be at in two weeks. We're just on the other side of it right now."

"The ultimate escape," Gloria looked around appreciatively, "I feel like I'm a million miles away from New York right now."

"It's nice, huh?" Red agreed, "I figured it didn't really matter where we went. It's just nice to be alone with you. We don't get to do that much."

"We never get to," Gloria reached for her hand, "thank you for making this happen."

"Let's go inside," Red smiled. They each grabbed their small overnight bags and walked over to the main entrance of the castle hotel, hand in hand.

"This is gorgeous," Gloria gushed in amazement when she unlocked the door to their room. The word gorgeous didn't even quite do it justice. The suite Red had reserved for them was a large oval room with a king-sized four poster bed in the center of it all. A crackling fire was already set in the fireplace and on a table beside it sat a chilled bottle of sauvignon blanc and two wine glasses. A sliding screen door led on to a large and secluded veranda that overlooked the lake. They even had their own private outdoor hot tub.

"This is paradise," Gloria added, as she sat down in front of the fire.

Red laughed at her reaction and sat down beside her. "Does that mean I did good then?" she asked, tracing a circle with her finger on the palm of Gloria's hand.

"So good," Gloria replied, leaning forward to kiss her lips. They wrapped their arms around one another and leaned closer into the embrace.

"I love that you're mine," Gloria told her, pressing her hand to Red's warm cheek, "and I love being yours."

"Always," Red said softly, and then she caught Gloria's lips again. They were both panting and their chests were heaving together.

"Always?" Gloria breathed, her eyes searching Red's for some sort of answer, "you'll always want to be mine?"

"Yes," Red nodded, her blues eyes sparkling with sincerity, "did you have doubts?"

"Not really," Gloria shook her head, "except that sometimes I worry that this seems too good to be true. Things this good don't usually happen to me; and if they do, they don't last."

"Then this is the exception," Red replied, "because I'm in love with you. I never was in love with anyone before I met you."

"You didn't love Dmitri?" Gloria asked seriously, cocking her head to the side, "not even a little bit?"

"Not the way I love you," Red said truthfully.

"Did you love him like a friend?" Gloria asked.

"More than a friend," Red shrugged, "It's hard to explain. We were married for over thirty years, we took care of each other, parented our sons, ran our business…. he was a part of me. I never really had romantic feelings for him, but I did love him. Does that make sense?"

"Sort of," Gloria replied. She stood up and walked over to the table the wine had been set upon. "Do you want a drink, love?" she asked, and then she poured them each a glass.

I had one boyfriend, named Pavel, before I got married," said Red. "It only lasted about seven weeks, but he was much more exciting to talk to than Dmitri was. And he was better in bed."

"Galina!" Gloria exclaimed with a wry grin, "I always just assumed Dmitri was the only one and that you two waited for marriage."

"Well, Dmitri was still the first," Red replied. "We dated for a little over a year and then broke up for a brief time. That's when I met the other guy."

"Why did you get back together?" asked Gloria.

"To come to America," Red replied, "there was nothing sentimental about it. We were supposed to go our separate ways once we got here."

"What changed your mind?" asked Gloria.

Red's mouth twisted in a sardonic smile, "we had sex on our wedding night and I got pregnant with Yuri. I guess we stayed together for our son."

"And then had two more," said Gloria.

"It wasn't a bad life," Red took a sip of wine. "We made it work."

"Did you get along?" asked Gloria.

Red shrugged, "not really. The early years were the hardest and then we just accepted the way things were. We respected each other's space and did our own things."

"And sex?" Gloria asked bluntly.

"I did it just enough to keep him from complaining too loudly," Red rolled her eyes, "although he always would whine that it still wasn't enough."

"So, you didn't like having sex with him?" asked Gloria.

" _I wouldn't say that_ ," Red shrugged, _"it was always nice. I never rolled over afterwards and thought 'Oh! I wish I hadn't done that. But there's a part of me, a part of every woman I think, that doesn't want nice. That needs there to be some fear. Fear is very good._ Do you agree with that?"

"I don't know," Gloria replied, "I always appreciated nice because it so often wasn't. I had enough guys scaring me in my daily life. I didn't need it in the bedroom too. But is that something you'd want?"

"No!" Red looked stricken, "I'm just talking. You brought it up."

"I didn't bring that bit up," Gloria teased. "I think that's been on your mind for a bit."

"No," Red shook her head adamantly. "what we have is perfect. You make me feel insatiable."

"I'm always hungry for you," Gloria replied.

"Once I got with you I finally could understand why people always call it making love," said Red. "I'm not longer just fulfilling a wifely duty. I really want to do it. I just love being with you in everyway."

Gloria's eyes hadn't moved from Red's face as she hung on her every word. She caressed her face and leaned in to kiss her lips. "I want you to be my wife," she whispered, muffling the words against Red's cheek as she pressed her lips against the warm skin.

"What?" Red asked, her eyes widening in amazement.

"I don't mean I want to get married," Gloria said quickly, "because I don't."

"Then what do you want?" Red asked, looking bemused.

"I want you to be my wife anyway," Gloria said, "because that's how I think of you and that's how I hope you think of me. My forever. The person I want to be with for better or worse. You don't need papers to have that. The promise between us doesn't need a contract."

"No, of course, it doesn't," Red agreed, "but isn't that what we already have?"

"Basically," Gloria conceded, "but there was just something missing."

"What?" asked Red.

"I got you something," Gloria blushed, her index finger outlining her mouth, "I bought it with my first paycheck because that's how much I wanted it for you. I've just been waiting for the right moment."

"What is it?" Red whispered, tears of adoration welling in her eyes. She had a feeling that she knew where Gloria was going with this.

"It's what I ran back into the apartment to get," Gloria said. She kissed Red's cheek and walked over to the bed where she had thrown her purse down. She reached into it and pulled out a velvety blue box. Clutching it in one hand, Gloria returned to the fire. She didn't sit back down beside Red this time though. Instead she sat down by her feet and rested her chin in her lap.

"Galina Reznikov," Gloria smiled up at her.

"Gloria Mendoza," Red smiled back.

"You're the love of my life," Gloria moistened her lips and took a deep breath before continuing. She forced herself to smile at her and ignore how clammy her hands were with nerves. "And I'm so proud to be sharing my life with you."

"Gloria," Red whispered. Tears blurred her vision and her heart was pounding. She opened her mouth a couple of times but no words came out. Uttering a nervous giggle, she slid down to sit on the floor in front of the fire beside her.

Gloria wrapped her legs around Red's torso and her arms around her neck. She buried her face in her hair. "I love you so much, Galina," she whispered.

"I love you," Red kissed her temple and leaned back to catch Gloria's lips in a light flurry of butterfly kisses.

"I never imagined in my wildest dreams that we would ever be like this," said Gloria. "When I first started realizing how I felt about you, I tried to ignore it because I was worried you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore if you knew."

"And I was falling in love with you at the same time," Red tucked a strand of Gloria's hair behind her ear. "Even though I didn't want to admit that I was feeling that way for another woman. I had never even considered the possibility before."

"It's one of the reasons I love Nicky," said Gloria. "I don't think we'd have gotten here without her. She gave you the confidence to love me."

Red smiled, "over four years ago. In some ways it feels like it was yesterday. But most of the time it feels like a lifetime ago. I barely remember how we started. It just seems like you were always a part of me. I don't know how I got through this life for so long without you."

"Do you remember the first time we kissed in that kitchen?" Gloria teased, "how…let's say…enthusiastic you were?"

"I liked you," Red replied, blushing faintly as she kissed Gloria's lips.

"So affectionate and so eager," Gloria kissed the tip of her nose, "I remember needing to reign you in. Reminding you it was too soon and you shouldn't do anything you'd regret."

"So practical," Red sighed, "although I guess I'm glad to be with somebody so smart."

"I adore you," said Gloria. "I love everything about you—even when you're dramatic because you get so hyper and cute, and it makes me laugh."

"I love your passion," said Red, "how tough you are, and yet at the same time so soft and feminine."

"I love the mother that you are," said Gloria, "and how you brought our family together. We can have a wonderful life."

"I think it was just meant to be," Red whispered. "I believe that."

"One way or another we were going to find each other," said Gloria. Her fingers were linked together behind Red's neck.

"I wish it had been an easier path," Red replied, "but I'm grateful for everything that happened that brought me to this moment. I'm thankful for anything that played a part in introducing me to you."

"We're lucky," Gloria said, "and neither of us has ever been able to say that before."

"So, are you going to show me what's in that box?" Red teased. She nibbled playfully at Gloria's neck. "You've been teasing me. Making me wait."

"I had to build it up," Gloria laughed, "although it shouldn't surprise me to see how impatient you are. You wanna see?"

"Yes," Red said eagerly.

Gloria reached for the blue velvet box that she had set beside her on the carpet. She looked down at it in her hands for a moment. She was still sitting with her legs wrapped around Red. She compressed her lips for a moment and then bit down on her lower lip anxiously.

"Will you wear this?" Gloria asked, her voice so soft that it was nearly inaudible. She had opened up the tiny box to reveal a sparkling diamond ring. It was a simple band of yellow gold with a string of small diamonds lined in a slant across the top. It was simple, discreet, and uniquely beautiful. Gloria had taken great care in choosing it.

"Ohhh," Red breathed. She blinked several times and held her left hand out to Gloria. She nodded her head because no words would come. Gloria took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Red's ring finger. It fit her perfectly.

"I'll love, honour, and cherish you always," Gloria said, holding Red's shaking hand in her grip.

I'll love, honour, and cherish you always," Red repeated. She held her hand up to her eyes. "I love this so much. It's perfect. I just wish I had one to put on you."

"That's okay," Gloria kissed her, "this was a surprise. You're not the only one who can give surprises."

"I'll never take it off," Red promised.

"Good," Gloria said. She bit Red's bottom lip and tugged on it playfully. Then she released her and scattered kisses all over her face and neck.

"Make love to me," Red panted. Her breath was hot against Gloria's neck.

"Not a wifely duty?" Gloria cupped her breast in her hand. She pressed a kiss to Red's shoulder and disentangled her own legs from around her waist.

"A wife's joy," Red replied. Gloria placed her hands on her thighs and squeezed them tightly. Her thumbs moved to her inner thighs as Red lay down on her back on the carpeted floor in front of the roaring fire. Gloria straddled her legs, her hand palmed fervently in a circular fashion over the clothed center. She took Red's hand in hers and kissed the finger her ring was sparkling on.

"I'm yours," Red whispered.

"Yes, you are," Gloria whispered back.


	15. Chapter 16

"Gloria, wake up," Red whispered, smiling at how peaceful her love looked in sleep. She brushed Gloria's cheek with her lips and gently shook her shoulder. The sun was beginning to set and they had finally gotten back to Queens after being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway for over an hour. They had planned on heading back to the city earlier to avoid the rush hour, but in the end, they had stayed where they were as long as possible. Neither had been in any hurry to leave. They didn't know when they would get another chance to be alone like this again.

"Mmm," Gloria grumbled and wriggled in an attempt to nudge Red off.

"You're home," Red said, shaking her shoulder more persistently. Gloria blinked and glared around confusedly. Her hair was a complete mess. The side that had been pressed up against the window was completely flattened, while the rest fell into her face and partially obscuring her vision.

"I was sleeping?" Gloria yawned.

"You were tired," Red brushed the tangled hair out of Gloria's face. "You fell asleep just as we were driving onto the freeway."

"You should have woken me up," Gloria chided her. "It can't have been much fun driving the entire way alone. I didn't mean to pass out on you."

"You look so beautiful when you sleep that I didn't mind," Red replied, reaching for Gloria's hand. Gloria squeezed her affectionately and leaned forward for a kiss.

"This weekend came and went too fast," Gloria sighed, when they at last came back up for air. She ran her fingers through Red's hair and looked her in the eye. "I'd have liked a little more time with you."

"We'll just have to plan something again soon," Red said simply.

"I'm so lucky," Gloria kissed her lips strongly. She smiled. "Do you want to come upstairs for a little while? It's still early and I don't want you to leave me yet."

"Alright," Red agreed. Before getting out of the car she pulled down her window shade so that she could look at herself in the mirror behind it again. "I told you not to mark me," she grumbled, as she rearranged the light scarf she was wearing around her neck so that everything was adequately covered.

"Will you relax?" Gloria rolled her eyes, "nobody can see anything."

"Because I'm covered up," Red replied.

"So, we got a little carried away," Gloria grinned mischievously, "you certainly weren't complaining when I was giving you all those little love bites."

Their time alone would be counted as the most passionate days of their lives. The past couple of days had been marked with strong intimacy that delved even deeper than just sexual—although that had obviously been an enticing component. After their adventures on Sunday, the rest of the trip had passed in a fuzzy blur of togetherness. They couldn't focus on anything besides each other. They hadn't even been able to stand the idea of leaving the hotel suite again before they had to. They'd ordered room service for dinner and had called downstairs late at night to request another bottle of wine and some munchies. It had been a weekend of extravagance, completely unlike how they lived in their regular lives. This had been a special occasion though.

They felt youthful and energetic as they played together in the jacuzzi on their private patio at nightfall. Encouraged by the alcohol, both were giggly and chatty. They went back and forth eagerly exchanging ridiculous stories from their lives. Gloria's were the most colourful. She'd had a wild streak in her from a young age which had kept Lourdes on her toes. She had told Red about hiding a boyfriend in her closet when she was sixteen when Lourdes had returned home early unexpectedly.

"I went downstairs to talk to Tia and completely forgot about him up there," Gloria snickered, "he was up there forever. He broke up with me after that."

"You're silly," Red had laughed, moving closer to Gloria in the water, "although I'm not surprised by your wild streak, love."

"The best time was when I managed to sneak past all the nuns at out church dance," Gloria had giggled, sloshing some wine into the water as she took another drink. "Danny and me went parking in his new car instead. I got pregnant with Val that night though…so it didn't stay a secret for long."

"I was watched way too closely to ever get away with things like that," said Red, "and Russia had strict curfews that needed to be followed. My parents made me and my sisters stay home after dark."

"You never snuck out?" asked Gloria.

"When I was in my twenties my friend Nadezhda and I would sneak out to secret parties," said Red, "we'd wear blue jeans—which was illegal in Russia at the time. It was risky in a more serious way. I didn't do that many fun things though."

"That's why we get to have fun now," said Gloria.

When they started to become uncomfortably heated from the hot tub, they had gotten out of the water and snuggled up on their patio swing. They counted falling stars and Gloria looked for the constellations that Lourdes had told her about as a little girl. One of the most appreciated aspects of the country side was the way that you could look up at the night sky and see it lit up with thousands of twinkling starts that were in no way obscured by the glare of city lights. Red and Gloria had fallen asleep outside underneath them. It was a night that neither would ever forget.

The apartment was tranquil and calm when Gloria and Red finally made it upstairs. Julio and Benny were both lazing in front of the television together. The sink was empty and the washed dishes were all resting on the drying mat. With the exception of the schoolbooks Benny had left scattered across the kitchen table, everything was in its place. It shouldn't have been as surprising as it was to Gloria. Her sons had learned at very young ages to be self-sufficient. It was being taken care of that was unusual to them.

"This is impressive," Gloria told her sons, "I didn't expect the place to be this clean when I got home."

"We're not animals," Benny raised his eyebrows. Gloria smiled and kissed him hello. He pretended to wipe it off but his mother knew better. Contrary to her concern that Benny would be resentful about being left behind for the weekend, he seemed pleasant and happy to welcome her home.

"Did you have a good weekend?" Red asked them, taking the seat next to Julio.

"Pretty good," said Julio. He grinned, "Lida and Vasily got in a fight at the waterpark though."

"Really?" said Red, not sounding at all surprised. Vasily and Lida had always had a fiery relationship, but she knew they were still very in love and stable.

"Yeah," Benny snickered. "He made a joke about her swollen ankles. I mean—he wasn't wrong, but even I know that he should have lied when she asked his opinion."

"Lida pushed him in the pool," Julio laughed.

"Good for her," Red nodded approvingly.

"That's how you stick up for your son?" Benny asked her wryly.

"She didn't throw him off a cliff," Red shrugged passively, "and if a little pregnant woman is physically strong enough to shove him like that, then he has bigger problems than I can help with."

"She caught him by surprise," said Julio. "he had his back turned."

"Yeah, her reaction was a bit dramatic," said Benny, "he hadn't even changed into his bathing suit yet."

"She's pregnant, she's allowed to be dramatic," said Red.

"All I'm saying is that Lida should ease up on the whole crazy, pregnant, lady, stuff," said Benny. "She still has nearly four months to go."

"Crazy, pregnant, lady stuff?" Gloria echoed, "do you realize how terrible that sounds?"

"How else am I supposed to say it?" asked Benny, "she broke down into hysterics over Alexei meeting the height requirement for a ride. Said he was growing up too fast. You consider that rational?"

"She's expecting a baby," said Gloria. "Do you realize what a woman's body is going through during that time?"

"No, and don't tell me," said Benny, "I don't want to have nightmares tonight."

"What about someday when you have a wife who is carrying your child?" asked Red.

"I'll google what to do," Benny replied. "Or just hide in a corner and make no sudden movements until she gets normal again. Although, Vasily says he gets in trouble these days for even doing that."

"Remind me to apologize to my future daughter-in-law," Gloria rolled her eyes. "But barring Lida's pregnancy hysteria, you guys had a good time? Did you do anything else fun?"

"I worked all day," said Julio, "and Benny went to school."

"Did you get a lot of homework?" Gloria asked Benny.

"I did it," said Benny. Gloria raised her eyebrows skeptically at him. "Except for the math part," he admitted. "I need you to help me."

"I figured as much," said Gloria, "let's do it now before it gets too late."

Benny dragged his feet all the way to and from the kitchen to retrieve his notebook and math textbook. Julio browsed through the channels for something he and Red would both enjoy. Gloria crossed her legs and tried to make herself comfy. If she had thought her math problems were over once she herself had left school then she clearly had not thought this whole mothering thing through. Benny dropped a heavy textbook onto her lap and sat down on the couch beside her.

"Trigonometry," he sighed dramatically. "Do you think knowing about triangles is going to help me get a good job someday?"

"Probably not," Gloria said, flipping the book open, "unless you feel called to be a trigonometry professor."

"Not in a million years," said Benny.

"So, let's just pretend to care in the then and now," said Gloria. "Once you pass the course I give you permission to let all the knowledge slip from your head."

"What if they build on it in math class next year?" asked Benny.

"In that case, I want you seeing arithmetic problems in your sleep," said Gloria.

Benny nodded absentmindedly. Gloria pursed her lips as she began to read over the instructions at the beginning of the chapter. "I don't think it's that complicated, Benny," Gloria said, looking up. She frowned. Benny's eyes were glued onto the television screen that Red and Julio were watching. "Benny. Benny!" Gloria called, waving her hands in front of his face.

"What?" Benny blinked.

"Focus!" Gloria said sternly, "do you want to go work in the kitchen so you won't be distracted?"

"Nope," said Benny, forcing himself to look away from the screen. "I'm paying attention. That was just a little break while you read how to do it."

"What were you taking a break from?" Gloria rolled her eyes, "handing me a book?"

"I just figure it will take you awhile to figure out how to do the problems before you show me," said Benny. "Because, let's face it—you're not much of a math whiz either, mom. I didn't want to watch and make you feel under pressure."

"How thoughtful," Gloria rolled her eyes again.

"I offered to help him," said Julio, looking over at them. "I did good in math."

"I didn't want your help," said Benny. "Mom likes to do it with me. Right?"

"One of the joys of my life," Gloria said absentmindedly, looking back down at the book. Truthfully, math had always been her least favourite subject as a student and she'd barely passed. Yet, Benny always wanted her to try and figure it out with him and it had turned into their thing. It was obvious that Benny enjoyed having her undivided attention when she helped him and the fact that it was about a subject she hated seemed to make it even more special.

Gloria read through the instructions a couple of times and then attempted one of the problems herself. She did the same problem twice, each time getting different numbers, but neither matching what was written in the answer key at the back of the book.

"Well, Benny," Gloria sighed, "I don't really have a clue. Look at what I did. Does it look anything like what your teacher did on the board today?" Benny stared blankly down at the problem. Red walked over to look at it as well.

"Gloria, I think you're multiplying the wrong sides," said Red. She pointed at the instructions in the book. "You're supposed to times the sine by the tangent. I think you did the tangent by the cosine."

"You may as well have said that entire sentence in Russian," Benny told her, "that's how much I understood."

"I think I'm multiplying the right sides…" Gloria looked up questioningly at Red.

Red frowned, "I'm pretty sure—"

"You're both wrong," Julio said, "because you're supposed to divide the two sides, not multiply. You want me to show you?"

"Yes," Gloria said, thrusting the books at her oldest son, "put us out of our misery!"

"We've certainly gotten past the whole 'math is fun' bit you tried when I first started taking this class," said Benny, "which is fine. Glad we're being honest with each other. I'm sort of hungry. Anyone want some chips from the kitchen?"

"You're not having chips," Gloria gripped his arm. "Go look over your brother's shoulder and learn something."

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Red was still smiling later that night when she arrived back at her own home. She had ended up staying at Gloria's much later than she had intended to. Once Benny had gotten through with his homework, Julio had asked if they all wanted to watch a movie together. He had looked directly at Red as he spoke, silently telling her that she was welcome to stay—even wanted. She wasn't just an intruder in their midst. She was family.

She was also exhausted. Unlike Gloria, she had not had the benefit of a nap in the car on the way home. She shrugged out her shoes and tossed her bag onto the rug, deciding to wait until tomorrow to unpack. She flicked on the lamp and smiled at the sight of Nicky curled up on the sofa with the two dogs.

"Hi, honey," Red said, flicking on the lamp, "is there a reason you had the light off?"

"I was too lazy to get up to turn it on," Nicky replied, stretching.

"How long have you been lying here?" Red asked. She walked over and tickled Nicky's toes affectionately.

Nicky tucked her feet beneath her for protection. "I was waiting for you," she said pitifully.

Red smiled. "Why don't you come to bed with me?" she suggested, "and you can tell me everything that happened while I was away."

Nicky held onto Red's hand and staggered to her feet. Hand and hand, they walked over to Red's room. Nicky plopped down on the bed and pursed her lips. "I expected you home hours ago."

"I stayed at Gloria's for a little while," Red said apologetically, "we watched a movie with the boys."

"How cozy," Nicky rolled her eyes, "I've been here all by myself."

Red could detect the edge in Nicky's voice. She bit her lip in regret and quickly changed out of her clothes and threw on a cotton nightgown. Apparently, Benny was not the one that Gloria should have been worried would resent their time away. Not that Red could entirely blame Nicky. She knew that they hadn't been spending near enough time together lately. They had become like two ships passing in the night. They both used their shared apartment as a "home base", but weren't often in it at the same time, and when they were, they were sleeping or had visitors.

"I thought you'd be with Lorna," Red said lightly. Nicky scurried under the covers of the bed and held them open helpfully to her. Red smiled and slid in next to her.

"Nah," Nicky replied, "I wanted to be with you tonight."

"I'd have come back sooner if I had known," said Red. She patted Nicky's thigh through the blanket.

"Water under the bridge," Nicky shrugged. "So, did you have fun?"

"Yes," Red said coyly, her cheeks blushing slightly at the question.

"Looks like it," Nicky joked, "you have sex written all over your face."

"Nicky!" Red smacked her thigh firmly.

"Ow," Nicky wriggled. She straightened up and leaned closer for a hug. Red wrapped an arm around her shoulder, as Nicky rested her head on her shoulder.

"Do you remember the last time you hugged me?" Nicky asked.

"On Saturday," said Red, "when I came to say goodbye to you before I left."

"You came to say goodbye to me," Nicky agreed, "but you didn't hug me. You forgot to. You were in such a hurry to go pick up Gloria. I don't think you even heard a word I said."

Red gritted her teeth and tightened her arm around Nicky. She was remembering how Nicky had been trying to talk to her while she had been preoccupied with getting the food she had prepared for Julio and Benny into containers. She had tried to listen attentively, but she had just been so excited about getting to Gloria and surprising her with the trip. She hated that Nicky was aware of her distraction.

"I'm sorry," Red said tightly.

"You are?" Nicky looked taken-a-back.

Red nodded. "I don't want to make you feel sad. You're my daughter. I love you."

"I feel like you never pay any attention to me anymore," Nicky looked sad, "you're always with Gloria, doing things for Julio and Benny, or babysitting Vasily's kids. You don't have time for me."

"Nicky," Red sighed, "that's not true."

Nicky glared at her.

"Well…alright, maybe it's been a little true lately," Red admitted. "But Gloria and her boys have been going through a really hard time since Lourdes died. They've needed me…"

"I've needed you too," Nicky cut in, "I've been dealing with a lot and you haven't even noticed!"

"Like what?" Red looked worried. "Honey, you can tell me."

"I don't know if I want to now," Nicky looked down at her hands in her lap.

Red kissed Nicky's curly mane of hair and squeezed her tighter. "Little girl, please tell me," she whispered.

"I've been talking to my sister," Nicky confessed. Red looked astonished.

Ever since her unfortunate encounter with her estranged father, Nicky hadn't been able to get his revelation about her having a younger sister out of her mind. Shelby Nichols, who's Facebook profile told the story of a blessed life led by a beautiful, young, law student. Judging by the amount of photographs she shared that included Nicky's Dad, it was easy to presume that Hayden Nichols had succeeded in bonding with his second family better than his first. It shouldn't have mattered to her, Nicky was determined to hate them all, but she hadn't been able to repel her incessant need to find answers.

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with her?" Red exclaimed.

Nicky shrugged, "I was curious."

"And?" Red pressed.

"And what?" Nicky blinked.

"What's she like?" asked Red, "do you have much in common?"

"I don't know," said Nicky, "I've only Facebook stalked her and texted."

"Hmm," Red murmured. She gave Nicky another kiss. "It's good that you reached out."

"That remains to be seen," said Nicky wryly.

"I'm serious, Nicky," said Red. "knowing who the people you share blood with are is an important part of learning about yourself."

"Well, blood or not, I don't think we have much in common," Nicky told her. "She seems too preppy. Her mannerism, clothes, personality—it all feels off."

"How can you possibly know that without meeting her?" asked Red.

"I just can," Nicky said stubbornly.

Red clicked her tongue and rubbed Nicky's back for a few minutes. She could only imagine how difficult such a thing must be to endure. However, if Red had been in Nicky's position she'd have already met the sister by now. For a recovering addict, Nicky seemed to have incredible restraint when it came to her family of origin. Red was just glad that she was finally beginning to talk about her half-sister, Shelby. She had been a taboo subject for quite awhile.

"Well, I would keep talking with her like you are and get to know her a little bit," said Red. "Maybe eventually you'll feel like meeting in person. I'd want to, if I were you, but you don't have to. You're surrounded by people who want to love you."

"Which reminds me," said Nicky, leaning her head against Red's shoulder. "Is it okay if Lorna comes to the lake with us in a couple of weeks?"

"I guess so," Red agreed, "just be sure to check with Maxim to make sure there is enough room in the cabin first."

"She's going to sleep with me," Nicky reminded her, "so it's not like she'll be taking up any room."

"Then I'm sure he'll say fine," said Red. She scooted down into the bed so that she could rest her head against the pillow. She opened up her arms and Nicky crawled into them.

"How have you and Lorna been lately?" Red asked.

"Better than ever," Nicky said brightly. "Things have been great since Piper and Alex's wedding."

"That's good," Red yawned. She squeezed Nicky's shoulder affectionately and closed her eyes.

"So good," Nicky pressed on, "that we have started talking about moving in together."

"What?" Red's eyes flew open.

Nicky shrugged, "it seems like a good idea. We're serious about each other and Lorna is so eager to get out of her sister Franny's house."

"I don't know what to say," Red said quietly.

"Say that you're excited for me?" Nicky suggested.

"I am," Red replied quietly. "it's just hard to think about you leaving me. I wish I could just keep you mine forever."

"I'm always yours," Nicky reminded her, "you just have to share…sort of like how you always make me share. Remember when it used to be just us?"

"I liked having you all to myself," Red smiled.

"Well, I like having _you_ all to myself," Nicky replied. She kissed her cheek and nuzzled deeper beneath the covers. "you're still he the best mom in the world."

"And don't you ever forget it," Red replied.


	16. Chapter 17

Red bit the inside of her cheek as she waited by the stove to flip the pancakes she was currently making for Nicky's breakfast. Her eyes stared blankly at the stacks of cardboard boxes that had overtaken her living room. It was all suddenly so real, and she didn't like it. Biting down on her bottom lip, Red bowed her head and turned her attention back to the stove. She flipped the pancakes over and then poked at the sizzling bacon. At least they would get to have a nice breakfast together.

"Hey, Ma!" Maxim greeted her warmly, letting himself into the apartment. All her sons had keys and none of them ever bothered to knock.

"Good morning, honey," Red said softly.

"Mmm, breakfast," Maxim walked over and kissed his mother's cheek. "Are you making enough for me?"

"Well, this is for Nicky," Red said apologetically, "I'll make you the next batch."

"Fair enough," Maxim said reasonably, "I can wait." He grabbed a glass and went to the fridge to pour himself some juice.

"So, what are you doing here so early?" Red asked him.

Maxim sat down at the table, "Nicky asked me if I'd help her move her stuff over to the new place this morning," he replied. "She said she wanted to get an early start."

"Nicky's not even awake yet," Red told him, "she always says she's going to be productive in the morning and then she never gets up."

"That's not true," Nicky said, walking into the room. "I'm awake. The smell of pancakes and bacon lured me out here."

"Well, I just thought that your last morning home should be special," Red said sadly, "I even picked up some fresh strawberries yesterday to go with it."

Nicky exchanged a look with Maxim and sat down in the seat next to him. Red placed a plate of pancakes, bacon, and strawberries down in front of her. She handed her the maple syrup. "What do you want to drink this morning, honey?"

"Chocolate milk," Nicky said promptly, drowning her pancakes in syrup. Red went over to the fridge and poured her a glass.

"Thank you, mommy," Nicky smiled appreciatively.

"You're welcome," Red whispered. She dabbed at her eye with her sleeve and turned back to the stove, where she poured down some batter to make pancakes for Maxim.

"You okay, Ma?" Maxim asked.

"Yeah," said Nicky, "you said you were fine with all of this…"

"I am," Red replied, "except, I sort of believed that you would end up changing your mind by now."

"What?" Nicky exclaimed, "why?"

"Because I didn't think you would really be prepared to leave me," Red answered. Her back was still to them as she stood by the stove. "I thought you liked living here."

"I do," Nicky replied. "Mommy," she laughed, "this isn't anything personal. I just want to take this next step in my relationship. I'll be living closer to the university too, which is a bonus. I'll visit you all the time."

"I know," Red replied. "I just need to get used to living alone again. This place won't be the same without you."

"Well, it will certainly be cleaner," Nicky teased, "you'll be happy about that. You've complained about me not picking up after myself since I moved in here."

Red plated up Maxim's breakfast and placed it before him. As she passed behind Nicky, she wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her curly mane. "I love you," she said, and kissed her again, "and I'm proud of you too."

The front door opened and Yuri walked in. Red straightened up but kept her hand resting on Nicky's shoulders.

"Morning," Yuri smiled at them. He rested a folded-up dolly against the wall and kicked off his shoes. Then he walked over and kissed his mother's cheek in greeting.

"Hey," said Nicky. She tilted her head back, leaning it against Red's abdomen as she looked up at the mother and son. "I'll be ready to go in a few minutes."

"No rush," Yuri said easily, motioning to Nicky's plate, "I'm more interested in whether I could get a breakfast like that too, Ma?"

"Sit down," Red smiled. She removed her hands from Nicky's shoulder and went back to the stove to start her oldest son a batch.

"Vasily's not coming," Yuri told Nicky, taking the middle seat between her and his brother. "He said Lida made him go out in the middle of the night to buy donuts and now he's too tired."

"Typical," Nicky snorted.

Yuri glanced over at his mother and then nudged his brother roughly on the arm. "Did you tell her?" he whispered. Maxim shook his head no, as Nicky glanced between the two men curiously.

"Tell me what?" Red asked.

"You got eyes in the back of your head?" Nicky asked her.

Red flipped a stack of pancakes onto a plate. She added a few strips of bacon and brought it over to the table. Yuri immediately reached for the bacon and took an eager bite. Red crossed her arms across her chest and lightly kicked his calf with the ball of her bare foot.

"Well?" she raised her eyebrows expectantly, as he whirled around to look at her. He chewed the food that was in his mouth for a few excruciating seconds, as his mother glared piercingly at him.

"I need to talk to you about Klara," Yuri said frankly, once he had finished his bacon.

"Yuri…" Red sighed, and brushed her hair back with her hand.

"Mama," Yuri held up a hand to silence her.

"What about her then?" Red squinted at him appraisingly. Nicky was leaning back in her chair with her arms behind her head. She looked entertained. Maxim was eating his food and refusing to look up at his mother. He didn't want to be under her scrutiny the way that Yuri currently was. Dmitri's girlfriend, or mistress rather, was still quite a topic of malcontent for Red. The only thing that prevented her from completely going off on the other woman, was knowing that her sons loved Klara and would not tolerate it.

"Maxim," Yuri shoved his brother.

"Yes?" Maxim replied.

"You're the one who got us into this mess," Yuri said, "you tell Ma what you did."

"Maxim?" Red asked questioningly, her mouth twitching as she began to lose patience with her sons' hesitancy.

"It's nothing really," Maxim said nervously, "but I wanted you to know that Klara is going to be coming to the cabin for the family vacation this year."

"When I'm there?" Red asked incredulously.

"The entire time," Maxim nodded. "It's really not fair to expect Klara to miss out."

"Why not?" Red rolled her eyes, "think of how many things your mother missed out on while she rotted in prison because your father was an idiot. Oh…but we'll just feel sorry for the woman he cheated on me with. It wouldn't be fair to leave her out, after all."

"Well…I guess this is the real reason why Vasily decided to be a no-show, huh?" said Nicky, "coward…"

"Mama, nobody is trying to hurt you," Yuri said patiently, "and neither of us has excused what Papa and Klara did. But…it's no secret that Klara became a member of this family. Papa has been gone for several years and that hasn't changed it. Klara has a right to attend—just like Nicky, Gloria, Julio, and Benny are all going to attend. There's room for all of us. If you survived spending Christmas with her, you can handle this."

"While I object to Yuri lumping me in with his Dad's mistress, I got to agree with him on this, Ma," said Nicky. "It's not really a big deal."

"Fine," Red shrugged, her hands dropping limply to her side.

"You sure?" asked Maxim.

"You don't leave me much choice," Red said thickly.

She chewed her tongue in irritation as her three children finished up their breakfast. Yuri and Maxim took their dishes to the sink and then began loading a stack of Nicky's boxes onto to the dolly that Yuri had brought to help get them down the stairs. They had each brought their car and were hoping everything would fit so that they wouldn't need to make another trip. Red watched her sons take the first load of Nicky's possessions out of the apartment and then went to sit on the couch.

"Are you really unhappy?" Nicky asked. She got up from the table and went over to sit next to her mother on the couch.

"No, I'm not," Red draped her arm across Nicky's shoulder and pulled her in closely.

"Sad?" pressed Nicky.

"No," Red shook her head. "I'm happy for you. I like Lorna. So long as you promise to visit me all the time, I'll be fine."

She moistened her lips. "And Klara…" Red said slowly, "I'll manage."

"You'll be fine," Nicky said confidently. "She's nice enough. And if she bothers you, just remind yourself that between Dmitri and you, you got the cuter girlfriend!"

"Nicky!" Red exclaimed, smiling.

"See, it makes you smile!" Nicky laughed triumphantly.

"Are you planning to help at all?" Yuri asked Nicky, panting as he came back into the apartment after unburdening the first load. "This is all your stuff after all."

"Sure…." Nicky groaned dramatically, as she got to her feet. "I guess I should…"

It didn't take long at all for Nicky, Yuri, and Maxim to move everything out. Red felt like there was a part of her that wouldn't fully appreciate the ramifications of Nicky leaving for a little while longer. She hadn't really prepared herself for this. Over the past several weeks, ever since Nicky had informed her of her plans to get a place with Lorna, Red had been making a more conscious effort to spend time with the daughter that had accused her of neglect. A small part of Red had hung onto the hope that if she was more attentive, Nicky might change her mind. Of course, Nicky wasn't taking this next step with Lorna to punish her mother. It was a normal progression of a relationship. Having been incarcerated before her sons reached their majority, Red had never before experienced the emotional rollercoaster of watching a child you love leave home. It was very difficult to go through for the first time with Nicky. The girl who had always seemed so childlike and in need of her, despite being in her thirties. Red had always sort of believed that Nicky was the child she would get to keep beside her always. It hurt to let her go.

Red had watched from her patio as the two cars drove away. She rubbed her stomach to appease the knot that had formed, and then went back inside to face the emptiness. She now lived here alone. Well, not completely alone—Red smiled as her dog padded over to her for some attention. She ruffled him behind the ears and then rolled her eyes at the breakfast dishes Nicky had left sitting on the table. She tossed them into the sink on her way to Nicky's bedroom. The room was now devoid of its usual clutter and felt naked, in spite of the furniture that remained.

Red made her way over to the bed and laid down on it, curling up on her side. She had fathomed many happy years here with Nicky and felt cheated that her daughter was moving on with her life so quickly. Red was glad that Nicky was doing well. It really wasn't in her best interests to be so dependent on her, although Red had always loved feeling like Nicky's everything. Seeing her pack her things and move across town to attend university and live with her partner, made Red feel like she was out of a job. She had fulfilled her purpose. And though Red was blessed with such a full life, she couldn't but feel a bit mournful about losing her final baby. She would have liked just a little more time.

Red covered her eyes with her hands as she thought about Klara. It seemed like a cruel joke that after everything Dmitri had done to ruin her, and even after he'd been dead for many years, the man still was finding ways to torment his former wife. The ink hadn't even been dried on their divorce papers before Dmitri had suffered the aneurysm that would end his life. For a long while, Red had carried around a guilt about not staying in the marriage when her husband would be gone soon anyways. Had she known that there would be no possibility of a future together upon her release, she would have stayed faithful to the commitment she had made when she was only twenty-two—but that was before she'd learned about Klara. Dmitri hadn't been pining for his wife after all, he had been in a passionate relationship, behind her back, for over a decade. Red's cheeks flushed and prickled hot with anger. She continually felt like she was being told she was crazy and dramatic for holding onto this grudge, but remembering the longevity of Dmitri's betray made it seem perfectly valid. How could she _not_ be angry?

Knowing at last what she must do, Red got off of the bed and hurried across the hall into her own room. She went to the jewellery box that sat on her dresser. Opening it up, Red lifted out the top layer to reveal the discreet compartment underneath. Her fingertip brushed against the small box where she knew her wedding band and engagement ring from Dmitri to be. The jewellery box contained several pieces that had been protected and saved over the years. Nothing was overly valuable, but it all had great meaning. They were simple family pieces that she had brought over from Russia and others that Dmitri had gifted her through the course of their marriage. Someday, she would pass them down to her granddaughters.

Tucked in amongst her jewels, Red reached in to pull out a blue card that her sons had mailed to her in prison. Slipping on her reading glasses, Red stared down at the image of their family of five, that the boys had selected for the funeral program. Dmitri had his arm around her and was holding Vasily in his arms. Yuri and Maxim stood in front of their parents in matching outfits. All of them were smiling. She couldn't help but wonder now why Klara had not objected to that picture being chosen. Perhaps, she hadn't wanted to upset the boys by requesting they exclude their mother.

Red opened the card to read.

 _Dmitri Borisovich Reznikov_

 _January 10, 1952-June 20, 2013_

 _Beloved father to Yuri (Anna), Maxim, and Vasily (Lida)._

 _Devoted Grandfather to Feliks, Ivanna, and Alexei._

 _May he rest in peace._

There was no mention of his wife of over thirty years but Red had to assume the blame for that. She had filed to divorce him. Still, it was sad that the dissolution of their marriage had meant that none of the time they had shared together mattered anymore. At least, Klara's name had not been included in the obituary either. On the back of the program was the address for Dmitri's final resting place. Clutching it in her fist, Red went to get her keys and purse.

"I'll be back in a little bit," she told her dog. She slipped on her shoes and hurried out the door and down to her car.

Her chest was heaving in urgency. She suddenly had a beckoning need to be there, to see with her own eyes. She wasn't sure why. It probably wasn't the audacity of being forced to spend more time with Klara that drove her. After all, the trauma of enduring their first Christmas together had not motivated her to go. Red flexed the fingers of her left hand and smiled down at the ring she wore. It was Gloria. All of a sudden, Red was hit with a clarity that seemed to ignite a spark in her otherwise dulled senses. She felt a fire within and knew she was doing the right thing. She needed closure and peace, so that she could move on and give Gloria her full heart.

She parked her car and walked in silence towards the gated entrance. She left her purse in the car with her cell phone inside of it. She didn't want any disturbances or contact with anyone. This was something she needed to do alone. She shoved her keys into the pocket of the blue jeans she was wearing and walked with her hands held together. It was a big place and she didn't know where to start.

"Excuse me, ma'am," a young man called, "may I help you?" She must have looked displaced, considering that he had run out of the small office building to ask.

"I'm looking for someone," Red said thickly, walking over to him. "Well, not someone…."

"A grave?" the young man reiterated.

Red nodded.

"Come inside," he said warmly, "I can look up the information you need in the database."

Red followed him into the small office space and stood standing as he went behind the desk to the computer. "What is the name of the deceased?" he asked her.

"Dmitri Reznikov," Red stammered.

"Can you spell the last name?" the man asked.

"R-E-Z-N-I-K-O-V," Red said, with a bite of impatience in her tone.

"Ah, okay," the man nodded, "Dmitri, you said?"

"Yes," Red breathed.

"He's buried in section C," the man said, pointing at the map on the wall behind him. "Would you like me to walk you over there?"

"No, thank you," Red said, already heading towards the door, "I'll find it."

She walked down the trail in the direction the man had pointed her in. She shrugged her hands into the pockets of her jeans and wished she had remembered her sweater from the car. Despite the hot summer day, she was very chilled. The cemetery was tranquil and silent. She heard nothing besides the wind blowing and the rustling of leaves as a squirrel scurried by.

She had been here about twenty years ago. She and Dmitri had walked this path together, arm-in-arm with their three little boys trailing behind them. Dmitri was buried in the same place they had laid to rest Papa and Mama Reznikov—as Red had called her in-laws when they'd been alive. As she walked slowly, Red suddenly was hit with the realization that this is where she would end up when she died. She and Dmitri had bought a joint burial plot when they had done their wills, and she had never gotten around to changing it. She shuddered and made a mental note to fix that as soon as she could. Ending up lying next to her ex-husband and his family for eternity was the worst fate she could fathom.

When she reached section "C" of the cemetery, Red put on her glasses so that she would be able to read the engravements chiseled in the stones. Her fingers lightly brushed across each spot and she sucked in her breath. Her heart was pounding. She knew that she was getting close now.

"Ohhh," Red breathed and she fell to her knees in the grass. She was kneeling before a black headstone that had the name "Reznikov" written at the top. Her eyes transfixed on the surname as she refused to look at the rest of the words yet. She traced the letters of her married name with her finger, silently mouthing it until she reached the end. Then she lowered her eyes to the next row to read the list of names.

 _Boris Reznikov—_ her father-in law

 _Zinaida (Kuznetsova) Reznikov—_ her mother-in-law

 _Malvina Reznikov—_ sister-in-law

 _Dmitri Reznikov_

Red rested her fingers over the engravement of Dmitri's name. Tears flooded her eyes and she clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle the shaky sobs that she could not hold back. Red hadn't been sure what she would feel, but this shattering sadness took her slightly by surprise. She had never properly cried for him. She had cried for her children when they had lost their father, but somehow had mentally managed to block herself from being included in that grief. She hadn't felt Dmitri Reznikov deserved her tears after managing to hurt her in every conceivable way when he was alive. He had given her so many reasons to hate him—and yet she couldn't. Now she was feeling the full brunt of the loss and the ramifications of supressing her feelings for so many years all in one blow. It hurt. It was a pain like no other.

When she began to calm, she took off her glasses to brush the tears from her eyes. Her vision becoming less blurry, she noticed the gorgeous arrangement of flowers laid beside the stone. Someone had been here recently to pay their respects. She thought of her sons and shifted uncomfortably as she wondered if she should have offered to come out here with them sometime when she had first been released. It might have helped quell some of the pain that they had endured after being forced to bury their father without her.

Sniffling, Red put her glasses back on and reached for the little card that had been hidden amongst the flowers.

 _My love,_

 _I think of you everyday. I miss you so much. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I smile when I think of our wonderful memories. Maxim and Vasily came to visit me for my birthday last week. Yuri didn't come, but I understand. I love spending time with our boys. All three of them remind me of you in different ways. I hope heaven is beautiful. I hope you're happy and looking down on me. I'll be back to visit next week._

 _I love you with all my heart,_

 _Klara_

Red read the card at least three times and then awkwardly put it back amongst the flowers. She hoped it wouldn't be obvious to Klara that someone had touched it, when she inevitably came back to pay respects and mourn again. It seemed like such a waste of time, but she supposed that if Klara loved Dmitri as much as she always said she did, then this must be therapeutic for her in some way. Red suddenly felt like an intruder.

Circling the headstone, on the ground, were the little plaques that marked exactly where each person was buried. Red looked down at the grass and realized her late-husband was resting six feet underneath her. Her nails scratched into the earth and she gulped. Shuddering slightly, Red sat herself down more comfortably, with her back resting against the headstone. She stretched her legs out and laid her foot against Dmitri's plaque. It felt wrong to be here, but Red knew she wasn't ready to leave.

"It's Galina," Red whispered, feeling like a fool for speaking to stone. This may be where his body lay, but if there was a God and a life after this, Dmitri's soul was probably far away. However, she needed to talk to him—so she kept going. She hoped that he might be able to hear her.

"Are you surprised that it's me?" Red whispered in a gravely voice. She leaned her head against the stone and stroked the "D" in Dmitri's name. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."

"I wish you could talk back," Red scoffed, "because I'd love to hear you try to explain yourself out of a few things. I suppose you always were pretty good at weaseling your way out of difficult situations though…that's why I was the one who ended up in prison, instead of you."

"I know that you cheated on me," Red continued to trace the lettering of his name. "And I know that you made our boys keep your secrets."

"Did you ever think of me?" Red asked angrily.

"No, of course not," Red answered her own question. "You didn't think about what this would do to me—you never have! I always had to be the strong one in this marriage because I learned early on that I couldn't trust you to be on my side."

"You convinced me to take the fall for both of our crimes so that you would be able to stay out of prison and take care of our sons…." Red's eyes blurred with tears again. "and then even that was too hard for you. I wasn't gone a year before you found them a surrogate mother to take my place and do the job you weren't prepared to do!"

She sniffled, "I missed so much! I was in that prison for so many years, trying to be brave, trying to not get depressed. I made the best of what I had and I lived for the Saturdays that you and the boys would come visit me. But you were all lying to me the entire time…. I would never have done that to you!"

"You were never able to take responsibility for your own actions," Red angrily slapped her hand against the stone. "I had to do everything. I raised the children on my own, I made the money, I kept our house running….and it was never going to be enough for you. You never could forgive me for not loving you like you wanted me too…well, congratulations, I guess, on finally finding someone who does."

"Klara Petrova," Red wrinkled her nose as she slowly allowed the name to roll off her tongue. "I've met her, Dmitri…I can see why you liked her. Anybody could tell that she is more compatible with you than I ever was."

"I'm just so f**king mad at you," Red said in a deadly whisper. "I just want to curse you…and hate you…but you know what I'm doing instead? I'm going on a summer vacation with your mistress. Just one big happy family."

"I hope you realize how uncomfortable that is for me," said Red, "because every time I look in her face it's as though I'm being laughed at. This other woman our sons order me to play nice with. They love and defend her, act like I'm supposed to be grateful that she was there to pick up the pieces where I had failed them…"

"And guess what?" Red whimpered, "that's exactly what I'm trying to do. Because nothing in this world means more to me than my children. I'll put up with anything, so long as it keeps me in their lives.

"But it's not just about the children…" Red continued, "although it's taken me a long time to admit that. It's you too."

"You were my husband. We said vows to one another. When I wanted to break up and go our separate ways in the beginning, you begged me to stay. You said that you loved me…I don't know if I believe that anymore. You didn't act like you loved me."

"I wouldn't still be this sad or angry at you if I didn't care…. because I've moved on. I have an amazing life now. I'm in love with someone who loves me back like I never believed anyone could. I'm surrounded by all our little grandchildren! Did you know that Vasily and Lida are expecting another baby? We just found out that it's a girl. A precious little girl! Remember how mad you were about never having a daughter? Well…. soon you will have three beautiful granddaughters. Ivanna is almost a teenager! Yuri is bringing her and Feliks to the lake. And you never met Vera…but Dmitri, she is just the sweetest little thing. I try to spend as much time with her and Alexei as I can….I adore them."

Red took a deep breath and plucked a few strands of grass. "I'm sorry you died," she blinked. "I miss our good times. We made a lot of happy memories together…"

"But I am glad that you met someone who loved you and made you happy. I'm glad that the person you found was also good for the boys…they love her very much."

Red glanced at the ring on her finger and smiled slightly. "I guess I'm going to go now…there is someone I'm supposed to go meet. I just wanted to come here to see you…I hope you know that despite everything that happened between us…I have always loved you." She brushed her lips against the stone and kissed his name.

"I hope you're at peace."


	17. Chapter 18

**This chapter was written by Johanna-002 and me together. Hope you enjoy!**

Placing the bowl of fruit on the table, Gloria plucked a piece of watermelon for herself. Savoring the sweet flavor, she allowed her eyes to drift to a close and moaned loudly. "You know how long it's been since I've had watermelon?" she asked, reaching for another piece.

Red rolled her eyes, busy arranging the many platters of food. "I thought you were supposed to be helping me?" She gestured to the bowl of fruit, "and don't eat any of those strawberries, they're for Nicky."

"The whole thing?" Gloria's eyes widened. Stubbornly, she looked up at Lida who had been standing next to her. She gestured toward the fruit and then pointed to her swollen belly. "It's good for the baby," she explained. She picked at the biggest berry she could see and motioned for the young woman to take it. Picking one for herself, well aware of Red's glare, she bit into it. She slurped at the juice unapologetically. You know what I was thinking?" she began.

"That you need to get your hearing checked?" Red finished. "You don't listen."

Lida chuckled and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Selective hearing," she nodded. "Vasily suffers from that too."

"So, did his father," Red complained. "I thought it was just him, but it appears to be quite common."

"Alright, alright," Gloria wiped her hands. "But you know," she motioned down at Lida's abdomen. "That's Galina's granddaughter in there. If you can't handle a little defiance every now and again, you have a long road ahead of you."

Lida arched her brow highly, a grin tugging at the corner of her lips. "Have you met Vera?" she asked. "I knew the moment I saw that red hair I was in for a fight." She looked at Red, and playfully wagged her finger. "She screamed bloody murder because she didn't want to eat spaghetti the other night. It was so embarrassing, the first time out in what felt like forever and we had to leave. The way everyone looked at us..." she shuddered.

Gloria smirked. "She's got passion. I like it."

"And you think she got that from me?" Red rolled her eyes.

"Oh," Lida breathed, "absolutely." She sat down at the picnic table, sighing heavily. Her hands moved to rub at the tense muscles straining in her back. "I can't wait for this baby to be born," she complained. "I don't know how you did this three times. Hell, I don't know why I decided to do this three times."

Red chuckled. "You're a natural," she promised. "You'll be fine."

"Yea," Gloria popped a grape into the air, smiling successfully as she caught it in her mouth. "Come talk to me when you're ready for four."

"No," Lida dragged her vowel out dramatically. "After this, the factory is closed. Out of service." She made a sweeping motion under her neck. "I'm done."

"I remember saying that," Gloria dug her hand into the bowl of chips.

"Then what happened?" Red asked as she swiftly smacked the back of her hand.

Gloria rubbed her hand, and shrugged. "Julio came along…. And then Benny." She smirked, "Guess I was only on a temporary suspension."

The cabin door swung open, and the three women turned their heads to see Lorna and Nicky descending down the front steps with a large bowl. Red repressed a sigh as she pointed to the imaginary watch on her wrist. "What took so long?" she asked. "It shouldn't take this long to make punch, Nicky."

"Sorry," Nicky smiled. "We got distracted."

Red rolled her eyes, "Nicky."

"We were quick," she whispered.

Gloria rolled her eyes, "Not quick enough."

Lorna, a rosy blush coloring her cheeks, moved around to sit next to Lida. "But we made the bed, so," she smiled, "no one will know."

Red rubbed a frustrating hand along her temples. "Whose bed-" she shook her head. "I don't even want to know."

Nicky nodded, "probably best you didn't." She set down the drink and moved around behind her mother to sit at the table. "Where is everyone at?" she asked looking around the stretch of bare grass. "They drown in the lake?"

"Nicky!" Lida hissed.

"Just kidding," she held her hands up in surrender.

Inhaling a calm breath, the young woman rubbed protectively over her abdomen. "Don't joke like that," she said. "I watched this thing on the news the other night," she shook her head. "I couldn't sleep for days."

Sharing a look with Gloria, Red turned her attention toward her daughter-in-law, smiling at her sympathetically. "You should go stick your feet in the lake or do something to cool off, dear." Moving to stand behind Nicky, she began to rub at her shoulders. "And you probably shouldn't watch stuff like that. It'll just make you stressed." She dug her nails warningly into Nicky's shoulders, "and you probably shouldn't listen to this one either," she added.

"Well, I would like to go swimming later," Lida admitted, "maybe after we eat." She laughed. "I'm going to be quite the sight in a pair of Vasily's old swimming trunks and my maternity tank top. I didn't want to spend money on a new bathing suit that wouldn't fit me next year."

"She wasn't even going to bring a swimsuit," Gloria gestured to Red. "I had to force her."

"I don't like swimming," Red replied. "But maybe we could go do that thing where you stand on the board and row?"

"Paddle Boarding?" asked Lorna.

"Yes," said Red, "I think I'd like to do that. And we can rent them down at the shop."

"Is that a date?" Gloria teased.

"It can be," Red replied.

"Or you could just go skinny dipping" Nicky suggested, wagging her brow suggestively. "That could be romantic."

Red rolled her eyes but Lida giggled. "Vasily and I did that the first time he brought me here."

"Do it again," Nicky grinned, "you guys are about to become parents for the third time! Need to do something exciting to keep the magic in your relationship alive."

"That would be a frightening sight if anyone saw me," Lida laughed, "It would look like a whale was splashing around!"

"No, it wouldn't!" Lorna exclaimed. "Pregnancy is so amazing. You know that a lot of men think a woman is at her most beautiful when she's expecting a baby?"

At that, Gloria and Red fell into a fit of laughter, Lida not too far behind them. Gloria shook her head good-naturedly and placed a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder. "Lorna," she smiled, "There is nothing sexy about pregnancy. Maybe, you know," she shrugged, "some have it good. But the movies glamorize it. It's uncomfortable and painful, and everyone wants to give their opinion."

"You get heartburn," Red listed. "Your clothes don't fit. Your moods are up in the air. You lose sleep even before the baby gets here...and that's just if everything goes well!"

"My feet are so swollen they won't fit into anything besides flip flops," Lida wiggled her flintstone toes. "My skin is blotchy and itchy, and I've put on so much weight! I've already gained twenty pounds." She shook her head, and squinted down at her stomach, poking it playfully and chuckling as the baby moved in response. "See, look, she's already got it out for me." She poked at her belly once more. "Probably can tell we're talking about her. Drama queen."

"Well, someone's calling the kettle black," Nicky smirked.

"Well," Lorna shrugged. "I still think babies are wonderful."

Red stroked her hair through the wild mane atop Nicky's head. "Hmm," she hummed lovingly, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head. "They are pretty worth it."

Nicky leaned back against her mother's chest. Grinning happily as her arms wrapped around her. "Oh, by the way, Ma," she said clasping her forearms in her warm palms. "Lorna and I stashed our bags into your room, alright?"

"Why?" asked Red. Moving to pull back, she pursed her lips as Nicky's hands only tightened around her. She kissed the side of her temple lovingly.

"Well, because there are a lot of kids around here and they keep touching stuff," Nicky replied.

"Who, my kids?" asked Lida.

"Well, we weren't going to point fingers," Lorna said, "but yeah."

Nicky nodded. "I found Vera head first in Lorna's purse."

"Vasily was putting her down for a nap," Lida replied, looking toward the house.

"Well, I guess she escaped," said Nicky. "But Klara's got her now, so, she's probably fine."

"I'm telling you," Gloria smiled, "I love that kid!" She looked at Lida innocently, "Can I have her?"

Lida smiled. "If I ever need a babysitter I know who to call." She shook her head. "You know, Gabby really likes her too. They got along great last week when Valentina and I met up." The words flowed off her tongue like silk. "She's so sweet," she cooed. "And so tall," she held her hand up, demonstrating the little girl's height. "In fact," her eyes lit up, "Gloria, now that I'm looking at you, I can see how much she resembles you. I think she might have Benny's nose. Aww," she smiled, "but she's so shy. I think that might be the Julio in her."

Nicky, her eyes wide, turned her head to look up at Red, who had wordlessly pushed her head back so that she was looking forward. Feeling the grip on her shoulder tighten, Nicky stroked her thumb back and forth soothingly along her mother's forearm. She watched helpless as a kaleidoscope of emotions played over Gloria's face.

Feeling as if she had been punched in the stomach, Gloria forcefully exhaled her breath. "What?" she whispered.

"Oh," Lida bit her lip at the pained look on Gloria's face, "I'm sorry, Gloria. I shouldn't have said-"

"Wha- What did she say?" Gloria asked. The hand that had been on Lorna's shoulder tightened and she couldn't help the force in which she pierced her nails into her. "Did she say anything about me?"

"Just that you were talking," Lida glanced at Red helplessly, and then looked back at Gloria. "Mainly we just talked about the kids, our husbands, stuff like that."

"What she told you isn't true," Gloria shook her head. "I haven't heard from either of my daughters since Lourdes' funeral."

Lida opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. Biting her bottom lip, she gave a small shake of her head. "I'm sorry. I thought. I didn't realize…I mean now that I know..."

Nicky rubbed at her forehead. "Lida…" she shook her head softly.

Gloria wanted to press her for more. She wanted to question every word, every move, every breath. She wanted to know everything. What was Valentina wearing? What had her granddaughter been wearing? Where were they living? Where was she going to school? Did they seem okay, happy? Were they better off without her?

For weeks she had been trying to get in touch with Valentina and Carmen, but her calls had always gone to voicemail. Her texts, unanswered. She had even gone as far as calling Daniel, but on the second ring she'd always hung up. She knew him. He would take too much satisfaction from her struggle. She couldn't bear to hear him tell her to give up, to stay away from their daughters-his family.

He'd said it before. To stay away from his girls. He may have passed along her message about the funeral, but only because he had felt there was something to gain from it. Perhaps he had simply basked in the knowledge of how distant he knew the girls would be to her. The story they'd tell him when they got home, about how she had chased after them and begged for a morsel of their time.

It was exactly what he had known she would do.

"Gloria," Red called to her gently.

Pulling her eyes from Lida, she met Red's sympathetic ones and shook her head. She didn't want her pity. With her perfect family and her perfect grandkids. Her eyes moved and she found Nicky's endless brown ones. The hope in her was only further crushed and she bit the inside of her cheek painfully.

"They'll come around," Nicky said unconvincingly. "Maybe… once they cool off." She couldn't help but think of her own situation with her own mother and father. She fiddled awkwardly with her thumbs. "Maybe."

Red resisted the urge of slapping the back of her skull. Benny's voice catching her off guard from behind as he ran up to the table.

"Mom," he said breathlessly. "Jesus," he rolled his eyes. "I've been calling you for like ten minutes," he complained.

Gloria smiled and just like that, the exterior tension that had been marring her face evaporated. Her hand falling from Lorna's shoulder, she held it open to him. Her heart nearly bursting in her chest as he moved to her side. She could feel everyone's eyes on her as she pulled him close.

"Mom," he said again, "what are you doing? You're supposed to be playing volleyball with us. You promised you would when we got here."

"I was helping set the table," she lied. "We were waiting for you guys to come back so we could eat." Her hand moved easily through his hair.

"We'll eat later," he dismissed, "Come play first. If we win Vasily is giving us twenty-bucks."

Lida smiled, "Good luck. He's a cheapskate."

"Please?" Benny asked his mother.

Gloria smiled. Lifting her head to meet Red's eyes she said, "We'll be back."

"Wait for us," Nicky exclaimed as she rose to her feet. "Come on Lorna," she said. "I've always enjoyed a little competition. V owes me twenty bucks anyway."

Red shook her head, a smile on her lips. "Have fun. Benny, don't let her come back all bruised up."

"I love how much you love me," Nicky cooed, pecking Red's cheek.

Red chuckled, "I meant Gloria, but you be careful too, honey." She watched as the four of them walked off, her heart aching at the sight of Gloria's arm still securely wrapped around Benny's shoulder. While the sight would usually have her heart exploding with joy, she knew it was Gloria's desperation that had caused her to act so affectionately. Benny must have sensed it too, her distress, for he ordinarily would have pulled away from her touch, to keep up his teenage charade of craving complete independence.

"Mama…"

Red turned, her smile falling as Lida chewed nervously on her thumb.

"I'm sorry," Lida apologized. She shook her head. "I really upset her, didn't I?"

"The girls are a touchy subject," Red answered. "There is a lot of hurt feelings." She shook her head. "But," she shrugged and took a seat across from her. "You can't force anything. Certainly not anything you or I can do."

"Do you think I should apologize again… maybe talk to them?"

Red shook her head. "Gloria's very private," she said. "I'm honestly surprised she said as much as she did. I expected her to shut the entire thing down."

"What happened?" Lida asked.

Red smiled at her, "Not my story to tell, love." She reached for her hand and clasped it tightly in her own.

"Well," Lida sighed. "Their father was always… he was really good," she said honestly. "Sarai… I- You know? I couldn't imagine what could be so be bad they'd completely write her off. They always were such nice people."

Forcing herself to nod, Red tried not to think about the way Gloria had cried over her family. What she had described seemed less than dreamy, and it only solidified her belief that Gloria's girls had been completely brainwashed against her. While she didn't think Gloria to be completely innocent, she didn't believe her to be entirely at fault either.

"Well," Red said softly. "There are two sides to every story I suppose." Of their own will, her eyes drifted to the cabin and her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip as her mind slowly drifted from Gloria's problems to her own. To Klara. The woman who had been tucked away inside since she had arrived that morning. "In Gloria's case," she explained distractedly, "there just might be four sides to the story." She exhaled a deep breath as she thought about her own failed marriage. Dmitri betraying her by moving another woman into her home. Naively, she had believed closure would come over night with visiting his grave. But the flare of jealousy and anger that ignited within the pit of her stomach told her otherwise. "It takes two to make a marriage and two to break one," she said. Her words a double-edged sword.

... 

Entering the house, Red smiled as she nearly ran into her eldest granddaughter, Ivanna. "Oh, honey," she said with a smile. "Don't tell me you've been in here hiding all day playing with that thing?" She gestured to the cell phone in her hand.

Nervously stuffing her phone into the pocket of her jean shorts, Ivanna shook her head. Her dark, curly hair moving in big waves against her shoulders. "No," a shy smile colored her features. "No service anyway," she said.

Red tried to ignore the stabbing in her heart as she looked over her shoulder longingly. She wasn't as close to her granddaughter as she would have liked. Primarily in the care of their mother, it was a real treat to even be able to have Ivanna and her brother, Feliks, attend this trip. She had visited them a handful of times in the past year but it hadn't been enough to quell the slight awkwardness that still existed between them.

"How's your mother?" Red asked.

Ivanna nodded, "Okay." She shifted on the balls of her feet. "Um… how's.. That girl?"

Red raised her brow in confusion. "Girl?"

"Err... woman?" the teenager corrected herself. "Your girlfriend?"

If Red hadn't been so caught off guard she would have laughed. "Uh... Gloria?" she clarified. "She's okay. I don't think you two have actually been introduced yet, have you?"

Ivanna nodded, "I was talking to her earlier." A milky smile pulled across her lips. "Her son is kind of cute," she said. She rubbed awkwardly at the back of her neck. "Is that weird?"

Red chuckled, the tension in her shoulders drooping slightly. "They're a little too old for you, but I guess they are pretty cute, huh?" she shook her head. "You're not even thirteen and already into boys?"

Ivanna giggled but before she could respond, Klara's voice rung out loudly through the cabin. "Iva," Klara's called for her. "Where did you go? I thought you were going-" she stopped abruptly in her tracks. The sight of Red catching her off guard. She forced a bright smile onto her lips, "Hello, Galina."

Red inclined her head politely, the tension immediately returning to her shoulder.

"Okay," Ivanna said. "Well… bye Grandma, bye Klara. I'm going to go find Feliks." Stepping away from the two women, she skirted around Red and closed the door behind her.

Red could see a longing in Klara's eyes. She didn't miss the nervous glance the woman made behind her shoulder, and she could see as clear as day the way she calculated the steps it would take to get to the door. It would have been funny, something she would have indulged in, but the anger and jealousy that had made itself known earlier had returned with a vengeance and she cleared her throat, somehow asserting her dominance with the action.

The way Klara visibly shrunk at the sound, it was no wonder she had seen Dmitri in such a heroic light. Red chewed her bottom lip in thought, thinking the best way to handle this. A part of her wanted to turn around and leave. Pretend Klara didn't even exist.

 _How has that been working out for you?_ A voice that sounded like Dmitri's played in her head.

"I should go check on Vera," Klara made an excuse to leave.

"No," Red shook her head. "She has a powerful set of lungs, if she was awake or causing trouble we'd know." She motioned to the sofa behind them. "I actually want to talk to you, and I feel now is as good a time as any."

A slight skip in her step, perhaps fueled by adrenaline, she moved around Klara and led the few steps into the living space. With a wave of her hand she motioned for her to have a seat on the sofa and then moved to sit on the chair across from her. Seated on the edge, Red's hands ran up and down the length of thighs. She could feel her well manicured nails bite into her thighs as she worked to best articulate her thoughts.

"I want you to know that I'm not okay," Red began honestly. "With any of this...with you."

Klara bit her lip at Red's words. "Galina-"

"No," Red cut her off, with a hand raised. "I was very unhappy when I found out that you were coming on this trip." She glared pointedly into Klara's eyes. "I don't think you should be here, and if I could have my way you wouldn't be."

Klara nervously brushed a strand of her gray hair behind her ear. She glanced longingly towards the exit, back at Red for a brief moment, and then stared down at her lap. She knew that she had to stay and take this.

"What you and Dmitri did was wrong. On so many levels," Red said thickly. "What you did to me...going behind my back."

"I know," Klara admitted. She glanced up at Red and then looked away again, just as quickly.

"You're not the only thing that Dmitri hid or deceived me about," Red continued, as though Klara had not spoken. "And you probably know about some of his bigger lies. That is of course, unless he gave you an extremely biased account about what happened between us and why I ended up where I did."

"I don't really know much about that, Galina," Klara said softly. "Dmitri didn't like to talk about it."

"Hmm," Red rolled her eyes, "he always had a tendency to avoid things that made him uncomfortable. He wasn't a very strong man."

Klara's eyes flashed dangerously. For the first time since they had sat down she looked defensive, rather than scared and remorseful. "He-"

"I saved Dmitri from a sentence he could never have handled," Red said bitterly. "I took the fall and allowed him to pretend that he had known nothing about what I had gotten involved in... even though it's his fault that the mafia ever darkened our doorstep in the first place."

Klara shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Galina-"

"I did that so he could be there for our sons," Red said. "I didn't want them to lose us both."

"I see," said Klara quietly. "I can't even imagine what you went through all those years, Galina. I'm very sorry about what happened to you."

"I'm not naive," Red told her. "I never actually expected Dmitri to remain faithful and honestly, I didn't really care…. but I never dreamed he would bring a woman into my sons' home and put them through that. The one thing that I asked him to do when I left was to take care of them. Dmitri couldn't even manage that."

"I know it was inappropriate," Klara acknowledged, "but Dmitri needed help. He was suffering alone. I took care of him-I took care of your sons. I loved them as my own. I know that I crossed some boundaries, but I never tried to take your place."

"And you never could," Red said strongly. "I am their mother."

"You are," Klara responded, "I agree-"

"I'm not taking away from your relationship with them," Red continued. "I know you were good to them and I'm grateful...but you and Dmitri put so much pressure on them. Rage still boils inside of me when I think about how you made them keep your secrets and involved them in your affair. That's unforgivable to me."

"We were just trying not to hurt you," Klara whispered. "Dmitri didn't want to cause you any more pain. He felt terrible-"

"Dmitri was scared to tell me the truth," Red said fiercely. "So, he convinced himself that by covering up his affair he was doing me a kindness...like it was some noble sacrifice."

"He cared about you, Galina," Klara said quietly. "He always made it very clear to me that he did. I know he wasn't perfect...he made a lot of mistakes...but you always were very special to him. The two of you shared children and experiences that nobody else can ever understand. Going into this, I knew I had to respect that."

Klara nervously laughed. "It wasn't ever an ideal situation for me either, you know? I didn't plan any of this…. but I couldn't help falling in love with him. I'm sorry."

Red licked her lips and considered Klara for a moment. She let out a shuddery breath at her words. "You know…" Red said hesitantly. "You talking about falling in love with him...it sounds strange to me." She lightly laughed. "Not because I don't believe you...it's just odd to me because I guess I never experienced that towards him myself."

Klara nodded understanding. Her eyes were widened and staring back at Red as she hung on her every word.

"My love for my husband was always more of an agreement," Red considered her words carefully. "Not that it is any of your business... but, when I made the choice to marry him, I forced myself to learn how to love him. Our connection was deep, familiar, and we're bonded together always through our three sons. But it was a very different relationship than the kind you shared with him."

Red smoothed her hair back. "I went to visit his grave a couple of weeks ago and I saw the flowers and the note you left there."

Klara looked taken aback. "Did you read it?" she asked hoarsely.

"Yes," Red nodded calmly. "You left it there for anyone to find, so I read it."

Klara bit the inside of her cheek and looked irritated by such an intrusion. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Well, I did," Red said gravelly, "and it honestly touched me to see how loyal you are to his memory. If I forget that it's my cheating husband you were with, I could almost find it sweet." She smirked at the confusion etched on her rival's face. Red cleared her throat. "I still have the deed to my burial plot next to him." she said, eyeing Klara closely.

"Oh…" Klara nodded, unsure of what to say to that.

"We bought them together when we did our wills a long time ago," Red told her. She tilted her head to the side. "But I don't want it." She scoffed. "I mean...who in my position would?"

"I don't know," Klara answered faintly.

Red compressed her lips and her hands twitched in her lap. "I want you to have it," she said seriously.

"Really?" Klara looked astonished. She had certainly not been expecting that.

"I think it makes sense," Red said thickly. "So…. if you want it...I'm willing to sell it to you."

Klara blinked. "Thank you, Galina," she said softly.

Red shrugged, "It's not really worth thanking me over. I can't imagine anything worse than spending eternity buried next to that man."

Klara swallowed a lump in her throat. "Well...it means a lot to me," she said in a shaky voice.

"Hmm," Red compressed her lips and then stood up with an air of finality. She was proud of herself for staying in control through the entire exchange. There was no doubt, in either woman's mind, just who had dominated this conversation.

"Galina!" Klara stammered and Red raised her eyebrows in expectant wait. "I'm really glad that you talked to me…. I hope...I hope that this can be a new beginning for us all."

Red pursed her lips and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Perhaps," she said finally. She took a deep breath and savoured the pleasure of keeping this other woman on edge as she waited for her to continue speaking. "I'd like to throw Lida a shower before the baby is born...I know that she doesn't really need much because this is her third, but I want to do something for her."

"I think that's a wonderful idea," Klara replied, looking surprised by the change of subject.

"Would you like to help with anything?" Red said slowly.

"Whatever you need," Klara smiled eagerly.

"Fine," Red said coolly. "I'll be in touch when we get back to the city."

"Okay," Klara nodded agreeably.

"Just remember...I'm doing this for my sons," Red said, "but that does not mean we are friends." Without giving Klara a chance to respond, Red gave her a final reproving stare and went back outside to join her family.


	18. Chapter 19

**This chapter was written by Johanna-002 and me together.**

Later than evening, Red smiled proudly as she walked upon the sight of her family gathered around a warm fire. Yuri was sitting with his children on either side of him, his arm wrapped protectively around his daughter's shoulders. The smile that spread across Ivanna's lips was infectious and she felt a rush of love flood evenly throughout her body.

Maxim was next to Luca, Klara to the right of them, the three of them talking quietly amongst themselves. Confident that the conversation they had earlier would remain between them, Red felt a sense of peace at the sight. She had meant what she said earlier, about respecting the relationship Klara held with her sons. While it wasn't ideal, there was nothing she could do to change it. She had to do what was best for her family. Sacrifice her happiness for theirs. If Klara brought happiness and a source of comfort to their lives, then she would have to make the best of it.

A large weight felt taken off of her shoulders and she prided herself for bearing her truth. It hadn't been easy, but she felt at peace. The sight of Klara was made just a little more tolerable. And in time, she hoped the bitterness would lessen. She didn't want to always be so angry. There were so many things she had to focus on, so many people who needed her. Her energy couldn't be spent holding grudges.

Her gaze continued to drift, falling on Vasily and his family. Alexei was asleep in his mother's arms and Vera was reclined back against her father's chest. Unaware of his mother's watchful eyes, Vasily tenderly stroked a wisp of hair from Lida's face before kissing her cheek and then the corner of her mouth.

Whatever fear she had ever harbored in the past about how her relationship with Dmitri would affect her children seemed to instantly have evaporated. They knew love. Whether she had been a good example of it in the past, was no longer a concern. In the depths of her heart, Red knew she had done the best that she could.

She had loved them to her best ability. With her whole heart. It showed in the way they loved their children, the way they loved one another, and their spouses. She had done good.

Maybe not great, but good.

She could hear Nicky explaining something about the stars, how their light and fire was of no match to the light and fire Lorna lit within her. Red chuckled softly, shaking her head as she watched them side by side, reclined in the grass. Lorna laying against Nicky's chest as Nicky pointed knowingly in the air, tracing some pattern back and forth as she talked. Red thought back to her weekend away with Gloria, a similar talk they had immersed themselves in on the deck and her heart skipped a literal beat.

Her blue eyes moved over the group once more, and a pang twisted in the depths of her lower abdomen. Moving closer, ensuring her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, she looked around in confusion before turning to look behind her.

"You okay, Ma?" Nicky asked picking her head up. "Lose your keys?"

"Where's Gloria?" Red asked, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Where are the kids?"

Nicky arched her brow in response. "How do you lose three people?"

Yuri chuckled and turned back to look at his mother. He gestured to the woods with a nod of his head and then turned back to watch Feliks as he set about roasting another marshmallow. "She said she was going hiking with Benny and Julio."

"Alone?" Red asked in disbelief.

"Not alone," Maxim said, "they took the dog."

Red sighed, her arms crossing over chest. "Well that's just great she grumbled. "It's dark and those three think they're George of The Jungle."

"I'm sure they're fine," Lida consoled her. "If they're not back in ten minutes we'll go look for them." Patting the spot next to her, Lida gestured for her to join them. "Come sit down," she said. "Have a marshmallow."

With a final look toward the woods, Red picked up the lawn chair that had been left over from dinner and moved to sit next to them. Crossing one leg over the other, she listened as quiet conversation amongst one another began again. Being out here brought her a certain sense of comfort. The serenity of it all was incredibly peaceful and her mind aimlessly drifted.

While Dmitri's mistakes would not be easily forgotten, she had to admit that he had gotten one thing right. She knew the story, how this place in particular had become her family's vacation spot-safe haven.

"Home away from home," Maxim had told her once. He had explained that his father had rented the cottage in hopes of distracting them from missing her too much after she had been incarcerated. Approaching the one-year mark, he had thought it vulgar to go on holiday while his mother had sat in prison, but he had admitted how cathartic it had been. Nestled in the woods, the secluded spot had felt a world away from the dark and troubling thoughts that had seemed to make homage within him.

While it hadn't had the desired effect of keeping their minds off of their mother, it had done a lot of good. The quiet simplicity had become the perfect sounding board for all of their thoughts to finally be expressed. Too many times they had rowed out on the lake; hiked for hours along the woods endless trails talking about anything and everything. It was perhaps the only reason why Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had been able to survive the trauma of having their family ripped apart. The three brothers had always stuck together.

Raised in a conventional home, by parents who had always appeared to have a traditional marriage, it had been an incredible shock to learn the truth about their crimes. Words couldn't even begin to describe how they had felt when the skeletons had risen from their parent's closet. They had been grown enough then to understand the complexity of the situation and know reasonably that neither Dmitri or Galina were _completely_ at fault. However, neither were they- _completely innocent._

Whether it was selfish, or a kindness to keep their father's affair secret, had been one of their many great debates. Internalizing a lot of guilt about withholding the truth, it had, at some point just come down to what was easiest for them. Aside from that, none of them had had a desire to involve themselves in their parent's drama.

It wasn't their fight.

They had made peace with the way things were and had made a vow to one another that as retribution, they'd do whatever they could to take care of their mother upon her release. The perfect picture of happy that they were-the perfection they were around this camp fire-left no doubt in their mind that they had done exactly that.

A loud scream followed by deep laughter broke the haze of their tranquility and everyone turned their head to see Gloria running toward them, her kids hot on her heels. "Stop!" she shrieked, "Benny stop!" she ran through the group of people, hopping over Nicky and breaking into another sprint as her feet touched the ground.

Benny followed her move for move while Julio ran around and caught her on the side. His arm around her waist, he held her, laughing as she struggled against him.

"I'm sorry," Gloria laughed. "I'm sorry… don't!" She struggled against her son, her belly burning painfully as she lost her fight to laughter. Losing her footing in the grass, she and Julio fell to the ground. Being pinned down she wasn't even aware of the scene they were causing as Benny unscrewed the bottle of water and poured it on her.

"This," he said," flicking his wrist wildly, making sure to drench as much of her as he could, "is for telling me there was a snake."

"And this," Julio breathed heavily, laughing as he moved on top of her while he unscrewed his own water bottle. "Is for throwing water at me." He poured the water onto her, laughing as she fought against him. Her struggle only making it worse as she managed to splash herself in the face, gagging noises emitting from her as water flew into her mouth.

Pulling herself into a crunch, she spat what little water she had in her mouth up at him. Breathing heavily, she reclined back into the grass and rolled to push him off of her completely. One hand pushed through her wet hair and the other massaged over her rapidly beating heart.

"Mom!" he reprimanded her as he wiped his face. "You're so gross!"

"I'm tired," she breathed heavily, ignoring him. She pulled herself up into a sitting position and her head lulled to the side. As she caught sight of the wide-eyed Reznikov family looking at her she rolled her head back to her sons and looked at them awkwardly. "Oops," she whispered. "I think we interrupted the whole…" she gestured to the fire, all coherent thought slipping from her. "Whatever quiet thing they were doing here." She held her hands up for Benny to take and groaned as he pulled her from the ground. "Sorry," she said apologetically. 

Red smiled and gestured for Gloria to join her. She pointed to the empty chair and said, "There are marshmallows if you boys want some." The troublesome three moved toward her, Julio and Benny dispersing from their mother's side to sit on the grass while Gloria occupied the chair next to Red. Taking her hand, she squeezed it gently before letting it go. "Where did you disappear to?" she asked.

"We went exploring," Gloria said, smiling at her sons. She reclined back in the chair, her head resting heavily on her shoulder as she blinked at Red sleepily. "I didn't realize how old I was until I ran that last stretch." she shook her head in disdain. "Never again."

Red chuckled. "Cardio not your thing?"

"Not at all. Volleyball, running," she scoffed. "Who do I think I am?"

"I don't know," Red plucked a piece of grass from her hair. "But you need a bath. You stink," she grimaced. "Smell like sweat. Don't think you're laying down with me before you shower."

Gloria groaned dramatically, rolling her eyes.

"You two," Red said, nudging Julio with her foot. "I hope you didn't get sprayed by some kind of animal. You'll sleep outside." Benny glared at her, a marshmallow protruding his cheek.

...

"I think we should call it a night," Yuri said, rustling Feliks' hair affectionately.

"Mmm," his son groaned, "it's not that late yet, Dad."

"It's pretty late," Yuri countered, "and your sister has fallen asleep."

"I have not!" Ivanna's head shot up, it had been resting on her father's shoulder.

"Even so...I don't want us to sleep the day away tomorrow," Yuri said logically. "Especially if you still want to take the boat out on the lake after breakfast...do you?"

"Yes!" Ivanna cried.

"Then let's go," Yuri replied. He got to his feet and smiled at his two kids who begrudgingly followed.

"Good night," Red said softly to her two oldest grandchildren as they passed.

"Good night," Feliks and Ivanna smiled shyly at her.

"I think we should get the kids in bed too," Lida yawned. She nudged Vasily on the arm and peered up at him with sleepy eyes.

"And you too," Vasily kissed her forehead.

"Yes, me too," Lida smiled as his lips brushed her skin. "I'm exhausted!"

"Here, Lida," Maxim said. He got to his feet and gestured to Alexei. "I'll carry him in for you. I don't want you to overdo it."

"Thanks," Lida smiled down at the little boy cradled in her arms and kissed him. She motioned for Maxim to take him. "I was enjoying the cuddles all evening!" She stood up and placed both hands on her lower back as she winced. "My back hurts!"

"I'll give you a massage once we get inside," Vasily kissed his wife's shoulder and then adjusted his hold on Vera, who was sleeping angelically in his arms. With calls of goodnight, Red's children, grandchildren, and Klara and headed back inside.

"Hmm…" Gloria leaned her head against Red's shoulder for a brief second. "What do you guys say? Ready to turn in also?"

"Yeah," Benny nodded agreeably, "I have to be up early tomorrow."

"Why?" asked Red.

"I want to go fishing," Benny explained.

"Fishing?" Gloria asked skeptically.

"Yeah, you know…" said Benny vaguely, "baiting a hook, throwing it into the water, catching a fish."

"I know what fishing is," Gloria replied.

"Why do you need to be up early for that?" asked Red.

"I googled it and it said that five am is when the fish are biting the most," Benny explained. "It improves my chances."

"You're going to wake up at five am to go fishing?" Julio glanced at his brother in astonishment. "You can barely make it to school on time, and that starts at eight." He pierced another marshmallow onto the end of his pole and stuck it near the embers of the dwindling fire.

"I think that should be your last one," Gloria tapped him on the shoulder. "I don't want anyone getting sick." Julio nodded compliantly.

"I can wake up early if it's something I actually want to do," Benny frowned at his brother.

"Well, I admire your dedication," Red patted Benny on the shoulder. "Maybe you can even bring home breakfast."

"I'll try," Benny smiled at her words. He watched as Julio withdrew a golden-brown marshmallow out of the fire pit and popped it in his mouth.

"Delicious," Julio smiled in satisfaction. "Anyone else want one before we go in? They cook best when the fire settles like this and we get some real good coals."

"None for me," Gloria squeezed his shoulder. "It's time for bed. Especially if one of us is going to have a five am wake-up." She glanced at Benny. "Do me a favour, Hun? Try not to wake up the entire house when you go? I wouldn't mind trying to sleep in a little bit while we're on vacation."

"Yeah, yeah…" Benny replied. "Do you want me to go fill a bucket of water to put the rest of the fire out?"

"That would be great, Benny," Red nodded, "thank you."

As Benny rushed down to the water's edge, Red got to her feet and looked around her. She spied Nicky and Lorna cuddled up on a blanket beneath the stars, fast asleep. She had thought that they had gone inside with everyone else.

"Look, Gloria," Red chuckled, pointing at the two sleeping girls.

"Hmm," Gloria shook her head and scoffed. "Are you going to leave them out here? They look comfy…"

"Of course not," Red replied, walking over to wake them up. "They'd be eaten alive by mosquitoes if they slept outside all night."

"That's true," Gloria examined her arms. "I don't think that insect repellant did anything. I'm all bit up!" She slapped her hands in front of her to try and squish a mosquito that was buzzing around her threateningly. "Damn," she hissed, "missed him."

"If it's a he then he wasn't going to bite you," Benny said informatively, hauling a large pail of water over to the fire pit. He poured the water all over the embers and then tossed the empty bucket onto the grass. "Only the female mosquitoes drink blood."

"And how do you know whether its male or female?" Gloria crossed her arms, "am I supposed to ask or something?"

"If it makes that buzzing sound then it's male," Benny replied. "I researched all the insects, plants, and animals around this place before we got here."

"I wish you put as much effort into your homework without me having to ask," Gloria rolled her eyes. She turned her attention over to Red who was shaking Nicky's shoulder persistently.

"This girl is the hardest person in the world to wake up," Red said in annoyance.

"I could go fill another bucket of water?" Benny offered, "that might help…"

"You're the worst," Julio laughed.

Red reached over to touch Lorna's shoulder. "Time to go inside," she said, as Lorna opened her eyes and looked up in confusion. "Let's go."

"Mmm…" Lorna sat up and rubbed at her eyes. She glanced over at Nicky. "We couldn't help falling asleep," she yawned. "It's so peaceful out here."

"Well, try to wake that one up," Red nodded her head at Nicky. "Otherwise, I might consider Benny's idea and go down to the lake to fetch a pail of water myself."

"Excuse me?" Nicky exclaimed. Her brown eyes opened widely and she sat up to fix Red with a glare.

"Were you awake this entire time?" Red asked, crossing her arms.

"Not the whole time," Nicky replied. "Not until you started poking at me…." She raised her eyebrows. "But seriously, Ma? You'd threaten to dump cold water on me...don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"Not as harsh as leaving you outside to be devoured by wild animals," Red shrugged. She reached out a hand to assist Nicky to her feet. Lorna rolled their blankets into a bundle and gathered them into her arms.

"You threatened to make me and Julio sleep outside," Benny pointed out. Red looked at him with her lips twisted into a smirk.

"Uh...I think that was a joke," Julio said. "Wasn't it?" He looked back at his mother.

"I wouldn't push your luck trying to find out," Gloria teased, reaching behind her back to scratch at a mosquito bite there.

"Let's go everyone," Gloria said. She turned on her heel and led the way back to the cottage. Julio and Benny were close at her heels, while Red walked behind them with Nicky and Lorna.

"Don't forget that you still need to blow up your bed," Gloria told her sons.

"Ugh…" Benny groaned, following at her heel. "That's a lot of work!"

"You should have done it right when we got here, like I told you too," Gloria rolled her eyes.

"I was busy," Benny stated. "There's a lot of things to do here."

Gloria smiled, "I'm glad you're having fun." They stepped onto the porch and she placed her finger to her lips, warning them to be quiet so that they wouldn't wake the cottage's other occupants.

"Does anyone else want a cup of tea?" Red whispered as they all went inside. The open concept living room and kitchen was vacant. Everyone else had already retired to their sleeping areas. It had been a challenge to figure out where to put everyone. The cottage wasn't huge; it had two small bedrooms and one large dorm that was being occupied by all of Red's kids and grandkids. Nicky and Lorna were going to camp out in the living room.

"No thanks," Gloria squeezed Red's hand briefly as she passed her.

"I just want to get changed into my pajamas," Lorna said, "my bags in your room so I'll be back in a minute."

"Bring mine back," Nicky called after her.

Gloria yawned again. "Julio...Benny...go make your beds…. I'm ready to sleep."

Julio and Benny groaned simultaneously and made their way towards the bedroom. Nicky had removed the couch cushions and stacked them into a large pile on the floor. She reached for the metal handle and pulled out the bed tucked inside. "Hmm…" Nicky mused, poking at the mattress with her finger. "This doesn't seem very comfy." She glanced up to gauge a reaction, but there was none.

Gloria and Red were wrapped in one another's arms next to the stove where the kettle was set on the burner for tea. Smiling, Gloria pulled back just enough to kiss her lips. "This has been such an amazing day," she whispered.

"Hasn't it?" Red murmured. Gloria kissed Red's cheek and then softly brushed her lips again.

"Every day I just love you more and more," Gloria purred. Reluctantly stepping back, she tucked a limp strand on hair behind her ear. "I'm going to have a quick shower before bed," she told her.

"Okay," Red agreed.

Lorna walked back into the room dressed in a pink silk nightgown. She tossed Nicky's clothes at her.

"Maybe we should have stayed outside, Lorna," Nicky made a face, "this mattress feels painful."

"I'm sure it's fine," Lorna said optimistically. "I mean, it can't be any worse than prison bunks, right?" She hopped onto the bed perkily and patted the spot next to her. Nicky stripped off her clothes and tossed them over on top of the stacked couch cushions. Then she slipped on the pajamas that Lorna had brought her.

"There are more blankets in that closet if you girls get cold," Red pointed in its direction.

"Okay," said Nicky, "but I'm sure we'll be fine. I've got Lorna's love to keep me warm." She sat down on the creaky mattress and began fluffing up her pillow. Then she lay down and pulled Lorna towards her, like Lorna was the little spoon.

...

"Do you think you'll be comfy enough?" Red asked as she entered the bedroom, her dog hot on her heels. Already changed into her pajamas, she watched as the boys struggled to inflate their air mattresses.

"If I say no, does that mean you'll trade places with me?" Benny asked.

"No," Red smiled, "but nice try." Walking around them, she pulled back the covers and slid into bed.

"You know," Benny complained, watching as Duke turned around in a circle a couple times and then settled down at the foot of the bed. "It doesn't seem fair that I have to sleep on the floor and the dog doesn't."

"Trade with him," Red shrugged, "you can keep my feet warm instead."

"Gross," Benny whispered, a slight shake of his head.

Red chuckled and reclined against the headboard. Looking to the empty space next to her, a frown pulled across her lips and she couldn't help the tired sigh that passed her lips. Touching her hand along the softness of Gloria's pillow, she turned her attention back to the boys. "Where is your mother?" she asked.

"In the shower," Julio said distractedly.

Red sighed loudly and folded her arms over her chest. "Still? That woman," she grumbled. "This is exactly why she was late to work last week."

"Tell me about it," Benny rolled his eyes. "She uses all the hot water and then gets mad that the bill is so high."

"What do I complain about?" Gloria questioned, walking into the room. She peeled off the plum colored robe she had been wearing and draped it across the dresser. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. Looking at the air mattresses she pursed her lips. "I still think you could have shared one."

"Gloria," Red rolled her eyes.

"What?" she questioned, running her hand through her damp hair. "They could have. These things are huge." She returned her attention back to look at her sons, "you could have shared."

"I guess if they want to cuddle each other all night," Red said. "Gloria," she dragged her name out. "Why are you so cheap?"

"Money doesn't grow on trees," she hissed.

Benny looked up toward her, squinting in confusion. "It's paper…" he trailed off, "it literally grows on trees." He felt a firm smack land to the back of his head and he rubbed at it soothingly. "Why are you getting mad at me?" he yelped.

"Because she doesn't like to be wrong," Red said knowingly. She patted the space next to her. "Let's all get some sleep."

Gloria nodded. "Are you guys almost ready?" she asked, reaching for the light switch.

Benny poked at his mattress, "I feel like it needs a little more air to be firmer," he said. "Otherwise I'll be stiff in the morning. I have a big day ahead of me."

Try as she might. Gloria couldn't resist the laughter that bubbled in her chest. "Well hurry up," she said softly. She walked towards the bed, pausing at the sight of the dog. "Seriously?" she glanced at Red, "You let this beast on here?" Reaching her hand down, she scratched him affectionately behind the ear and then crawled into bed.

Satisfied that his mattress was as good as it was going to get, Benny rose to his feet to hit the light. "Night guys," he said.

A murmured echoing of "Goodnights" filled the room as darkness blanketed over them. Gloria rolled onto her side and moved into Red's side at once. Her leg draped over her waist, she rubbed her hand along the strength of her shoulder.

"I love you," she whispered against her ear, kissing her neck.

Red moved to cup her cheek and she gently turned her head so that their foreheads were resting against one another. "I love you," she whispered against her mouth, a hint of a smile pulling at her lips.

She turned away and created some space between them in the bed. She didn't want Julio and Benny to feel awkward about being in the same room with them. Aside from the moonlight streaming through the open window, the room was engulfed in darkness. An owl hooted outside and there was some rustling as the boys fidgeted on their air mattresses. Within minutes however, they all had drifted off to sleep.

…

"Mom… mom wake up."

Gloria yawned, her body curling inwardly like a cat. Stretching, she peaked one eye open. "Benny?" she questioned him. "What's wrong?" she looked at the clock on the bedside table, a small whimper falling from her lips as the red lights glared back at her with the time. _3:47am._

"Mom," he said again, slowly peeling back the covers. "Move over." Gloria groaned, her eyes falling closed as she nuzzled her face into her pillow. "Mom," he pushed at her shoulder. "My air mattress deflated."

"That sounds like a personal problem," she grumbled sleepily. Heaving a heavy sigh as she felt the mattress dip, she shifted as Benny forced his way into bed next to her. "Why are your legs so hairy?" she asked in disgust.

"Because I'm a guy…" he said, as if that were obvious. He pushed his weight against her, a successful feeling of pride bubbling in his chest as she rolled onto her back. "Why won't you move over?" he asked tiredly.

"I can't," she whispered, her voice laced with sleep.

"Tell Galina to move over."

"I'm already on the edge," Red informed him groggily.

Benny looked over his mother. "There's still space," he complained.

"Deal with it," Red mumbled. She squeezed her pillow and fell back asleep.

"Why don't you go bug your brother instead?" Gloria muttered.

"I told him to let me share…" Benny replied, "and he tried to kick me!"

"I want to kick you," Gloria sighed, but she pulled him close with her arm so that he'd know she didn't really mean it. "Go back to sleep," she kissed his hair.

...

Benny groaned and pulled the cover up over his eyes as the morning sun shone through the open window. He was hugging the edge of the mattress, his mother's arm around him preventing him from toppling off. Suddenly he remembered his plans from last night and sat straight up, taking the covers with him.

"Benny," Gloria groaned, still half asleep. She reached a hand up to tug the stolen blankets back. "I swear to God-"

"It's after seven!" Benny exclaimed disappointedly, paying no mind to his mother's irritation.

"So?" Gloria buried her face back against her pillow.

"I wanted to be awake for five," Benny moaned, "why didn't my alarm go off?"

"Don't know, don't care," Gloria said sleepily, "but I'm pretty sure there are still fish in the lake, so why don't you just go now and leave me in peace?"

"Obviously there are still fish in the lake," Benny glared at her in annoyance, "but they won't be hungry now for my bait. Fish like to feed really early."

"Benny!" Julio groaned, "I am going to kill you. You've been disturbing everyone all night."

"You're the one who wouldn't move over and share the mattress with me," Benny retorted.

"You have your own," Julio mumbled.

"A defective one," Benny complained.

"Benny…" Gloria sighed, her eyes still closed. "When I get up if I find out that your mattress only deflated because you didn't put the plug in properly-Julio will need to get in line because I will kill you first."

Red shifted in bed and opened her eyes. "What's wrong now?" she asked.

"My alarm didn't go off," Benny told her sadly. He got up and went over to the table he had left it charging on. "Oh, that's why…."

"Why?" asked Red, sitting up in the bed.

"I accidently set it for five pm, instead of am," Benny replied. Still curled up with her eyes shut, Gloria snorted. Red swatted at her lightly.

"We're here for five more days, so you still have several chances to get out there in the early morning," Red said soothingly, "and I'm sure that some fish will still be biting if you feel like going now."

"Go!" Julio moaned, "please just go." He buried his head underneath his pillow.

Benny frowned, "so rude." He shook his head at his brother and headed towards the closed bedroom door.

"Have fun," Red called after him, "be safe."

"I will," Benny replied.

Once Benny had left, Red snuggled back down into the bed and tried to fall asleep again. The sun was shining brightly through the window though, and she felt too restless. She decided to get up and see if anyone else was awake yet. "I'm going to start breakfast," Red said quietly, leaning over to kiss Gloria's cheek.

"Mhmm," Gloria sighed. She opened her eyes and smiled. "I'll come with you." She reached for her hand.

"I thought you wanted to try and sleep in?" said Red.

"If I ever want to do that I think I'll need to make Benny sleep in the car first," Gloria rolled her eyes.

She sat up and squinted at the deflated mattress on the floor. "Such a waste of money…" she shook her head, "I knew I only needed to buy one."

"Knowing your luck, you'd have purchased the one with a hole in it," Red replied. "And then we'd really be in a bind."

"Well...unless it can be fixed, Julio is going to have to share with him tonight," Gloria glanced at her son who had peacefully returned to sleep after Benny's departure. She leaned over to brush Red's cheek again. "Let's go," she said. "There's a cup of coffee and a cigarette with my name on it."

"I thought you said you were quitting?" said Red. She climbed out of bed and slipped a robe on over her pajamas.

"I said I was cutting back," Gloria replied.

"But you didn't bring any with you," Red pointed out.

"No... but you know that Nicky did," Gloria said absentmindedly, searching through the bags in the corner of the bedroom. "Which one is her purse?"

"The black one," Red rolled her eyes. "I hope you know that I'm very disappointed..."

Gloria had bent down to rummage inside the black handbag. "Got one!" she exclaimed triumphantly, waving a smoke in her hand. She got up and went over to kiss Red's cheek again. "Don't be mad at me," she purred, "it's my second strongest addiction...that's hard to quit."

"What's the first addiction?" Red crossed her arms.

Gloria gave her a sly smile and looked her over. "Surely, you know the answer to that one, love."

…

Nicky and Lorna were cuddled up together on the pull-out sofa. Despite Nicky's concerns about the mattress being uncomfortable, she looked quite content. Red was careful not to wake them as she tiptoed into the kitchen.

Cigarette between her lips, Gloria walked barefooted out onto the porch. Pulling the door closed with one hand, she skillfully lit her cigarette with the other. Inhaling a deep breath, she allowed her eyes to fall closed, savoring the taste. A bad habit, she knew, but she allowed herself one at the start of everyday. She tried her hardest to resist the temptation to have another, and often she succeeded. It was usually only when she was feeling particularly stressed. that she would indulge in a heavier practice.

Her fingers cradled the cigarette down at her side as she exhaled a steady breath. Looking out onto the lake, she could see Benny in the rowboat that had come with their cottage reservation. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she silently admitted to herself how impressed she was at how far he had gotten-it wasn't as if he knew anything about boating and she had half expected to find him spinning in circles. As far she knew, the boy didn't have any experience with fishing either.

A pang of regret filled her chest, and she brought the cigarette back to her lips. It was hard to admit how much time had passed; how much she still didn't know about him, or Julio-how in the dark she was when it came to her girls. If she could do it all over again she would. It was a bitter pill to swallow, admitting how wrong and selfish she had been in making a lot of the decisions that she had, while her kids were growing up. But as she watched him on the water, Benny seemed confident and energized as he released the bait on his fishing pole into the water. She could see the difference right before her own eyes-the difference in her son. She hoped that being home, that being here, had somehow played a role in that.

Putting out her cigarette in the ashtray, Gloria gave Benny a final glance and then headed back indoors. Nicky and Lorna were awake now, although both were still lying in bed. Alexei and Vera bouncing happily on the mattress next to them.

"Good morning," Gloria greeted them, her eyes lighting up as Vera stood up and reached for her. "Good Morning, sweet girl!" she cooed, enveloping the small tot into a hug. "Did you sleep well?" she asked her. Her tone was so soft and so sweet that Nicky had raised a brow at her in question.

"Do you like my Ariel?" Vera asked her, one arm circled around Gloria's neck as she pointed at her mermaid nightgown.

"Ahh," Gloria breathed, "So pretty. Is she your favorite?"

Vera nodded and tangled her tiny hand in her red hair. "She looks like me and grandma," she told her, stuttering through her words as she craned her head for her grandmother.

Gloria hoisted her onto her hip. "I don't know," she said as she walked into the kitchen. She smiled at Red warmly. "You and Grandma are much prettier than she is."

"But she's a mermaid!" Vera looked appalled.

"But she wants legs!" Gloria cried in mock outrage. She tickled the soles of her sensitive feet. Adjusting her hold on her, she pulled the girls foot up and lovingly nuzzled at her pink painted toes.

"Stop!" Vera giggled, her belly shaking with laughter. "Stop! Grandma," she pleaded, her arms reaching out for Red. "Grandma!" she laughed, "help me!" Gloria laughed and tipped her back up right before setting her back down on her feet.

"Go," she instructed the tiny human. "Tell your Aunt Nicky it's time to get out of bed," she swatted at her bottom playfully, shaking her head as her red hair bounced wildly against her shoulders.

"Aunt Nickyyyyyy!" She sang as she ran back to her. "Wakey! Wakey!"

"Ugh! Vera!' Nicky grunted, curling inward as her niece landed on her stomach.

"Whoa, whoa, guys!" Vasily shouted at his kids. "You can't just come out here and jump on somebody's bed while they're still lying in it. Say sorry to Auntie," he directed his children.

"Sorry, Auntie," Alexei and Vera giggled. They were anything but apologetic.

"Do you guys want to watch some tv until everyone else wakes up?" Vasily asked his kids.

"Yeah!" Alexei and Vera cheered. The crawled to the top of Lorna and Nicky's bed and wiggled between them.

"Cause why wait for an invitation?" Nicky rolled her eyes sarcastically at Lorna. "If we ever have kids...are you going to want them in the bed with us?"

"It's sort of cozy," Lorna smiled, nuzzling her head against Alexei's.

"If by cozy, you mean cramped," Nicky replied, looking down to where Vera had laid her head against her chest. Pursing her lips, she shook her head and sweetly kissed her forehead.

Turning away, Gloria focused her attention on the beautiful woman sitting at the table. "I made yours for you," Red said, a smile on her lips as she folded up the magazine that she had been looking at. She slid the blue coffee mug across the table and gestured with a nod of her head for Gloria to accept it.

"Thanks," Gloria took the cup and made her way around the table. She squeezed her shoulder and placed a kiss to the crown of her head before taking a seat in the chair beside her. Bringing the cup to her lips, she took a small sip. A large smile played against the mug, the contents of it made to her exact preferences, just the right amount of cream and sweetness-Red knew her all too well. "Benny is pretty far out on the lake...I didn't even know he could row a boat," she said conversationally.

Red smiled at her. "He likes it here."

"He likes the freedom to behave like the wild animal he is," Gloria laughed. "But I love seeing him so busy playing sports and out exploring nature. Seems better than roaming the streets. Maybe we should move to the country?"

"Hmm…" Red traced the outline of her mouth with her finger. "I think you'd be bored before long."

"Maybe," Gloria shrugged, "in any case, I'm glad we're here this week."

"It's fun," Red agreed.

"Morning," Julio said, trudging into the kitchen in his pajamas. He poured himself a cup of coffee and then sat down at the table with them. He looked over at the bare stove. "Is there breakfast?" he asked.

"There will be once I'm finished my coffee," Red brought her mug to her lips. Throwing her head back, she made sure she consumed every last drop. She smacked her lips and licked them clean. "There," she returned her mug to the table and stood up. "Would you like bacon and eggs or French toast?" she asked him.

"Uhh...French toast, please," Julio smiled.

Gloria shook her head and watched as her son shyly ducked his head "Spoiled," she mouthed. At the sound of Red calling her name, she turned her head to look at her. "Yea?" she questioned.

" _Yea?"_ Red mocked her, rolling her eyes. "I asked what you wanted," she repeated herself. "If you don't start listening to me I'm going to leave you here. See how you like camping out with the mosquitos."

"Trouble," Julio mouthed back at his mother. 

"Eggs. Over easy, sausage, toast and if you're feeling exceptionally kind, hash browns and another cup of coffee," Gloria ordered. She reached for the magazine that Red had been reading and opened it up to the fire page. Feeling Red's piercing blue eyes glare into the back of her head, she smiled, "French toast and bacon is fine."

Red went to the fridge and pulled out the ingredients she would need to make the batter. They had gone on a humongous shopping expedition the day before to ensure that there would be enough food to feed everyone. Paw Patrol blared in the background, while Gloria read quietly, and Julio chatted with Red about plans for the day. Yuri wanted to take the motor boat out on the lake that morning and had invited both Julio and Benny to go tubing.

As Red finished up the first batch of French Toast, the rest of her family members staggered in with hopes of being served. "Alright…" Red wiped her hands on a towel as she deposited the last of breakfast onto Feliks' plate. "I've lost track of how many of you I've fed. If the rest of you want to eat...someone else needs to take over. I'm sitting down." She stepped away from the stove and shooed Maxim out of the chair she had previously been sitting in.

He exchanged a look with Gloria who quickly shook her head. "Not it," she said between a mouthful of food. Julio shook his head, declaring "me either" and moved to make another cup of coffee.

"Then I guess I'll make the next batch," he sighed.

Gloria pushed her plate toward Red and slowly pulled the fork from between her lips. "Here," she said, handing her the piece of silverware. "I knew you put one too many pieces on my plate for a reason."

Red smirked, and began to cut into her breakfast. "I'm not an idiot. I know how these people eat. If I don't put any aside for myself they'd all be inclined to let me starve."

"Daddy, are we going to take the boat out now?" Ivanna asked, swallowing her last bite of breakfast. She looked up toward Julio, "You're coming too, right?" she asked sweetly.

Gloria smirked at the look on her son's face and felt Red's hand squeeze her knee beneath the table. Yuri did his best to ignore the older women's poorly concealed laughter and motioned to his half-eaten plate as eyed his daughter suspiciously. "Once I'm done we can," he said. "But you can go get changed into your bathing suit," with a wave of his hand he dismissed her, and as an afterthought he said, "and make sure you put a coverup on."

He shook his head, and poked at the food on his plate. "Girls," he sighed, his fork dropping with a clatter. "She's going to be the death of me."

"Aren't they always?" Gloria agreed.

He shook his head and glanced up at his brothers. "Which one of you is going to come?" he asked. "I want someone else who can drive the boat so I can have a turn getting pulled behind."

"I can drive it," Julio told him, "I got my license."

"That's right," Yuri replied, eyeing him. "I forgot. Looks like we're good then guys," he stood up from his seat and washed his plate at the sink.

"What? You don't want us just for the pleasure of our company?" Vasily joked.

"There's a limit to how many people I can take," Yuri replied, "let's see if you make the cut first."

"I wouldn't have been able to go anyway," Vasily replied, looking out to where his wife was out on the front porch with the others. "Lida wants to take the kids over to the splash pad park."

The front door opened and in walked Benny looking very pleased with himself. "Well, look who's back!" Gloria greeted him. "Did you have any luck?" she asked, following Yuri's lead to clean up as she took Red's plate.

"Yep," Benny nodded. "Would have done better if I had started when I was supposed to, though."

"I'm sure you would have," Red agreed sympathetically. Benny reached the table and set the small cooler he was carrying down on top of it. He opened the lid to reveal a very small, single fish inside.

"Is that leftover bate? Or the fish you caught?" Julio teased his brother.

Gloria swatted at his head. "Nothing out of you," she said. "You don't want your little friend to hear you and think you're rude, do you?"

Yuri and Julio both cringed. "She's like… six." Julio rolled her eyes.

"Almost thirteen," Red corrected. At the glare her son tossed her she shrugged, "But who's counting?"

She chuckled as Yuri made his way out of the kitchen. "I was only kidding," she called after him.

"Well you're not funny, _Ma_ ," Julio teased. His face went scarlet as the endearment rolled off his tongue without any prior intention. He hadn't meant to say it...maybe just hearing her own kids refer to her as that had caused the title to accidentally slip out. He snuck a nervous glance over at her and cringed when he realized that her eyes were upon him-her lips parted in surprise and a soft, indecipherable, look in her eyes. He couldn't tell if he had made her uncomfortable or happy. He looked away and stared fixedly at Benny's fish.

Catching herself, Red peeled her eyes away from Julio and returned her attention back to Benny. She was eager to fill the silence that had come over them. She could sense Julio's embarrassment and wanted to distract from that. "It's not that small, "she said assuredly to Benny, examining the fish. "It's enough for one person."

"Going to get dressed," Julio muttered quietly, hurrying out of the room. He could feel Gloria's eyes on his back but was grateful for her silence.

"The bigger fish just weren't biting," Benny complained, as if he hadn't heard his brother's slip of tongue. "But I swear... I knew what I was doing." Looking up into Red's eyes he blinked at her sweetly. "Can you cook it for me?"

"Sure," Red smiled, "you just have to gut it first."

" _No comprende_ " Benny looked blank.

"Did you forget to google those steps when you were researching everything else?" Gloria teased.

"Want Luca to show you how?" Maxim asked, gesturing to his partner. "He used to go fishing all the time as a kid."

"Yeah, thanks," said Benny. He picked up his cooler and followed Luca back onto the porch.

"Alright, that should be the last of it." Maxim said, stepping away from the stove. "Vasily, be useful for once in your miserable life and help me." He thrust a large plate into his brother's hands and followed him with an arm full of plastic ware and orange juice.

Grateful for a moment alone, Red stood from her seat and made her way to Gloria who was leaning against the counter. She reached for the bottom of Gloria's shirt and pulled her close.

"I think that was really sweet," Gloria said sincerely. With a careful glance over her shoulder, she softly kissed her lips.

"I think that was an accident…" Red looked anxiously down the hall where Julio had fled.

"Well, I don't think he planned it," Gloria agreed, her hand covering Red's where it still possessively clutched her clothing. "It just felt so natural because he loves you, so it slipped out."

"Should I go talk to him?" Red bit her lip, "tell him I liked it?"

"Nah," Gloria shook her head, "don't make it weird. Boys don't like to talk about that kind of thing."

She chuckled and stroked her finger delicately over Red's luscious lip until she stopped biting it and gave her a smile. "Everyone is going their own way this morning," she said smoothly, moving her hand slowly up the length of Red's bare arm, smiling as she shivered in response. "So, I guess that means I get to have you to myself."

Red lovingly kissed her cheek, grateful for the distraction. "Any idea what you feel like doing?" she asked, her words vibrating against her skin.

"Hmm…" Gloria thought lazily, adjusting them so that Red was pinned between her and the counter. "Last night, the boys and I found this really beautiful spot when we went hiking..." she slowly ran her hands up Red's shoulders and interlocked her fingers behind her neck. She pressed her hips against her suggestively, "It's rocky, with the waves crashing at the shore…"

"Ahh," Red breathed deeply, her eyes darkening. "Go on."

"Very beautiful…" Gloria cooed, "Of course, not as beautiful as you." She released her interlocked finger so that she could play with the nape of hair at the base of Red's neck. "But it's secluded… lots of privacy." Her hands danced down Red's arms and she encircled her wrists warmly. Pulling them behind her, she gave Red no choice but to cradle her. "You feel like checking it out with me?" she asked against her ear.

"Hmm," Red teasingly pondered the thought. "How could I ever say no to an offer as…" she searched for the word, " _Delicious_... as that?"

"I love getting to see you first thing in the morning," Gloria told her softly, seriously. "I can't wait until we-"

"Hey, Mom!"

Footsteps approaching, and her name being called, Gloria departed from Red's side. Hopping onto the counter just as Julio entered the kitchen, she smiled and watched as Red self consciously ran her hand through her hair, smoothing over her invisible imperfections.

"Do you know if they are almost ready to go?" he asked in a would-be-casual voice, eyes darting between the pair of them. He was dressed in swimming trucks and a t-shirt and was ready to get out on the lake.

"On the boat?" Gloria clarified. "Not quite yet...I think some of them are still eating outside.

"And once Benny brings his fish back in I'm going to cook it for him," Red said evenly. A shy smile pulling across her features, she walked over and placed an arm around his shoulder, effortlessly pulling him against her. She tried to put all of her emotions into the embrace, along with all the things she wanted to tell him, but knew she shouldn't. It warmed her heart for him to verbally recognize her as a mother figure-even if it was only by accident. She hoped he could sense how much it meant to her.

Wordlessly, he wrapped a warm arm around her waist, and hugged her back tightly, only releasing her when he was sure she understood. "Well," he said after a moment. "I guess I'll go see how it's going out there," He rubbed her back encouragingly, and then dropped his hand down to his side. "See if Benny's freaking out yet…" he trailed off.

"You think he will?" Red chuckled.

Julio shrugged. "It wouldn't surprise me. He gets weird about some things. I'll let you know." With a shy smile he walked out the door.

"See, all is well," Gloria breathed, wrapping her arms around Red's neck. "I hope we can still have this when we get home. Might be a little cramped in that apartment of yours but I think I'll enjoy the coziness."

"What do you mean?"

Gloria smiled brightly. "The lease on Lourdes' apartment is coming up and I'm not really interested in renewing it."

"Really?"

"Mhmm," Gloria kissed the corner of her mouth. "I want to make a home with you."

"And what about the boys?" Red's brow creased.

"They're fine with it," Gloria smiled. "We talked about it last night when we went on our walk. I think being here-with all of us. They got to see how nice it is when we're all together. They both agreed."

The door opened and in walked Benny. Red walked over and threw her arms around him.

"What are you doing?" Benny asked awkwardly.

"I'm happy," said Red.

"Let me guess? You told her," Benny looked past Red's shoulder at his mother. He patted her awkwardly on the back.

Red squeezed him tightly. "Yes, she did."

"Great…" He disentangled himself from her and shook his head, a blush coloring his cheeks. "Will you cook my fish for me now?"

"Anything you want," Red smiled.

"Anything?" Benny grinned over at his mother, "then this new living situation should work out quite well.".

"Nice try," said Gloria.

"Too bad your apartment isn't really any bigger than our current one though," said Benny. "A bit of an upgrade wouldn't have hurt... such as not having to share a room with Julio anymore."

"You say things like that, but I remember how much you missed him when we lived at that place where you did get your own rooms," Gloria pointed out.

"I was six," Benny shook his head, "I didn't know any better...and Julio snores."

"You snore too," Gloria shook her head. "In my ear all night...it's a wonder I slept at all."

"I can't hear myself, so I doesn't bother me," Benny shrugged. At the stove, Red laughed as she hovered over the frying pan. "You call me when that's done," he instructed her.

Gloria rolled her eyes. "Where are you going?"

"To change into shorts, "he said quickly, motioning to the jeans and long sleeve shirt he had worn out on the water. Turning on his heel, he fled the kitchen without another word.

The sizzling of the fish was the only sound in the room as Gloria made her way over to the stove and wrapped her arms around Red from behind. She playfully blew against the bare skin of her neck and then kissed her in the same spot. "I feel like I'm living the life right now that I always should have been living," Gloria squeezed her tighter.

Red covered Gloria's hand around her waist with her own. "I think we're all going to be very happy together.""

"Even when my son feels like driving you crazy?" Gloria teased, "and we both know which one I'm talking about."

Red laughed, "even then….it will keep life interesting."

"He's good at that," Gloria said, stepping back and giving Benny a stern look as he walked back into the room, humming cheerily, and changed into his swimming trunks. "It's a talent of his."

His back to them, Red turned and brushed Gloria's lips in a soft kiss. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too."


	19. Chapter 20

**This chapter was written by Johanna-002 and me together.**

"Lying down on the job, huh?" a scratchy voice called. Gloria lazily looked up to eye her intruder. Nicky took a bite out of the apple she had grabbed from the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe, crossing her feet at the ankle.

"What are you doing here?" Gloria asked. She curled herself around Red's pillow and deeply inhaled the scent of her vanilla shampoo that lingered. "You don't live here."

"Well," Nicky mocked, "way to make a girl feel welcomed." She took an enormously aggressive bite from her apple, and then scowled at it in disgust. "These suck," she whined. Licking her bottom lip, she lapped at the juice that tricked from the corner of her mouth. "Next time, tell Red to get the green apples will ya?"

"I don't like green apples," Gloria said softly, a teasing smile pulling across her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed and she nuzzled her face further into Red's pillow. Inhaling a deep breath, the scent of Red and vanilla cocooned her. A flutter of content erupted in the pit of her stomach and she weakly gestured to the light switch on the wall with her foot. "Turn off the light," she mumbled sleepily, "I'm gonna take a nap."

"A nap?" Nicky shook her head, "you're so lazy."

Gloria scoffed. She had just finished helping the boys carry the last box into the apartment, after being up all night packing, and couldn't resist the temptation of closing her eyes and drifting into dreamland. She stroked her hand across the lavender duvet on Red's bed. _Our bed,_ she reminded herself.

"Nicky," she whispered, her hand curling wistfully around the empty blanket. "Tell your mother to come lay down with me."

"Can't," Nicky said, munching into her apple. "She said she was _investigating_." Nicky took another large bite from her apple and slurped unceremoniously at the juice. "How are you tired anyhow?" she asked. "You haven't done anything." She motioned to the littered garbage bags on the floor and the pile of clothes on the bed.

Curling herself into a tight ball, Gloria pulled her knees to her chest and the lavender duvet up to her face. Despite what Nicky thought, she had been exceedingly busy preparing for the move the past couple of weeks. It had taken a lot of mental work to pack up the rest of Lourdes' apartment. Though it had been hard going through her belongings, and drugging up the old memories that came with them, it had been even more painful for Gloria to admit to herself how anxious and sick the whole idea of moving had made her.

Overwhelmed by her emotions, she felt guilt most strongly weighing on her heart. While she was so happy to be doing this-taking this next step with Red-she couldn't help, or even stop, the way her thoughts continuously drifted to Arturo. Like the plague, he seemed to consume every ounce of her and she struggled with herself to let him go. She hadn't been lying when told Benny months ago that she often thought about him and prayed for him, but it didn't mean she always wanted to. After the way he treated her and her sons, thinking of him only made her feel guilty and disgusting. How could she have believed he loved her? How could she ever allow herself to fall so in love with him? Especially now, when she compared the relationship she shared with him to the one she shared with Red-she curled into herself a little tighter and she rubbed soothing circles on her churning stomach. She didn't want Arturo to ruin anything else for her, but she couldn't block him out. Even from beyond the grave, he was finding ways to haunt her.

Walking further into the room, oblivious to Gloria's inner turmoil, Nicky threw the core of her apple on top one of the bags. She pulled the blanket from Gloria's face and smirked as the older woman shivered in response. Ignoring her pointed glare as Gloria's eyes moved from the discarded apple up to her own, Nicky crawled into the bed beside her.

"That isn't trash," Gloria frowned.

"Could have fooled me," the girl responded, making herself comfortable beneath the blanket. Rolling her head against her shoulder, she stared at Gloria with large, wide eyes. "Why didn't you put your stuff in boxes?" she asked.

"God," Gloria sighed, rolling onto her back. "You sound just like Benny. Who has time to go scavenging for boxes at the grocery store?" she asked in annoyance. "He had your mother drive him around all week. Wasted his time and hers." Scraping her hair through her hair, Gloria tangled her fingers around her tousled hair.

Nicky smiled and rested her head against Gloria's. "I think he was just looking for a way to spend time with her," she admitted quietly. "You two have been so busy running around and collecting all that paperwork for Julio to start college, and preparing to move in here, maybe he just needed some one on one time." She smiled at the look of exasperation on Gloria's face. "He likes her," she conceded. "Probably more than he likes you."

"Well thanks, Nicky," she complained good naturedly. Gesturing to a bag that had been set in the corner, a tapped red x on the front, she said, "That's my TV. Why don't you make yourself useful and help set it up?"

"Red doesn't like a television in the bedroom," Nicky chuckled, remembering the very conversation they had had on the subject when she had first gotten home.

"She'll thank me soon enough," Gloria replied. "The boys will take total control of the television in the living room by the end of the day, you'll see."

"She prefers reading to television anyway," said Nicky.

"Well I like my tv," Gloria shooed her. "So go, get busy. You're supposed to be helping me."

Nicky shook her head. "I didn't agree to this."

Gloria groaned in protest. Angling her body away from Nicky, she pushed at her leg persistently with her foot. Inch by inch she forefully edged her off the mattress. "You better get busy. I don't share my bed with just anyone" she said, successfully pushing her off of the mattress. "You have to be of some use to me."

Popping up from the floor, her forearms resting against the mattress, Nicky purred, "Hmmm." A coy, seductive smile played across her lips. "Sounds sexy," she teased. Pulling herself to her feet, she moved to collect the bag that held the television. "How much are you paying me for this?" she asked.

"Paying you?" Gloria questioned.

"Yea," Nicky nodded. "I only came over to see how you all were settling in… and because I was hungry."

"Where's Lorna?" Gloria asked. A long yawn ripped from her and she arched her back highly, stretching and sighing as her back popped rewardingly. "Doesn't she know she's supposed to feed and walk you before leaving you unattended. With your energy, who knows what you'd get up to without supervision."

Nicky nodded in agreement. "That's why I came here. I was hoping there'd be lunch, but Red told me to make my own sandwich. Can you believe that?" she shook her head in annoyance.

"Well, we're busy," Gloria reminded her, rolling lazily onto her side. "Who has time to cook?"

"Red always makes time to cook."

"I think we're just going to order out tonight," Gloria said easily. "Chinese or pizza?" she questioned. "I kinda feel like chinese tonight."

"Red doesn't order out," Nicky said matter-of-factly. "Everytime I did it, I had to pay for it myself and she just sat there, not so silently judging me." Nicky held up the small flat screen tv. "Where do you want it?" she asked.

"There," Gloria lazily pointed at the dresser that was set in front of the bed. "So I don't have to crane my neck to see the screen."

Nicky sighed and set the tv down on the bed. She went over to the dresser and began to clear away the jewelry box, make-up, and the framed photograph of Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily as children that had been set there. "Where do you want me to put this stuff?"

"Just on the bed for now," Gloria shrugged, pulling herself into a sitting position. "I'll find a place for it." She pursed her lips and glanced around her new bedroom. As she did, she couldn't help but smile. While she still had a feeling of unwanted unease, she felt entirely at home.

While the furniture and decor had all been Red's choosing, it was very clear that everything had been selected with her in mind. In anticipation of the day they would share it, Red had done the curtains and bedding in a tranquil lavender shade that she had known Gloria would love. Even the area rug on the floor had patterns of lavender mixed in with cream. It was bright and pretty, and although it was small, it did not seem overcrowded-or at least it wouldn't once Gloria put away her stuff.

Crawling on her knees toward the foot of the bed, Gloria settled herself comfortably before the array of object Nicky had laid out. She reached for the framed photograph of Red's sons and smiled at the big grins that beamed back at her. Stroking young Maxim's cheek with her finger, she couldn't help but dissect the traits of him that were his mother. Red had always said he took after Dmitri, but Gloria could see the wild spark in his eyes clear as day. Yuri, with his wild, red hair was the vision of pure trouble, while little Vasily, clearly aware of how adorable he was, smirked mischievously at the camera. Twisting around, she moved to set the photograph down on the nightstand to the right of the bed. She nodded to herself in satisfaction and then, with a glance at the book resting on the twin table, she moved it over to the other side.

"I always sleep on the left," Gloria explained, answering Nicky's questioning gaze. Rubbing at the back of her neck awkwardly, she said, "I don't like being closest to the door...never have."

"You're weird," Nicky replied. She turned back to the television. She had pulled the dresser away from the wall so that she could plug it in. "But I guess we all have our things. Lorna says I claw at her in my sleep, like I'm scared she'll leave or something. I guess it's my abandonment issues at work."

"Mine might stem from never having peace," Gloria said honestly, "always being in a stressful environment." She shook her head and racked a nervous hand through her hair. "Even as a kid, my home was never ideal. Then when I got married…" she sighed, "It's like I subconsciously want to be as far away from my problems and the outside world as I can be."

"Makes sense," Nicky agreed distractedly.

Reaching for Red's jewelry box, Gloria tapped the lid thoughtfully and glanced around the room trying to decide where to place it. Crossing her legs beneath her, she sighed and easily flipped open the top. "Ahh," Gloria cooed. "Why doesn't she ever wear this?" She fingered a delicate string of pearls, and a thin silver bracelet as she peeked around to see what else she had.

"Because _it's not practical_ ," Nicky mocked her mother, impressively imitating her Russian accent.

A gold ring, with a fairly impressive diamond, surrounded by five smaller gems sparkled at her enticingly and Gloria picked it up. Pulling it close, she turned it over in her hand, and intensively surveyed the craftsmanship. Catching the engraving on the inside of the band, she strained her eyes to read it. There were a bunch of fancy lines, but none that resembled the English language.

"Do you know what this is supposed to say, Nicky?" she asked, squinting still at the inside of the ring.

"What?" Nicky looked away from the television that she had been pointing the remote at. "Nosey," she scoffed, smirking at the jewelry Gloria had laid out on the bed.

"We're sharing our lives," Gloria shrugged, "we can share jewellery."

"Well, there's the bracelet I bought her." Nicky gestured to the silver bangle and rolled her eyes. "I got it for her birthday. Cost me three hundred dollars and she never wears it. Said she's afraid to wreck it and is saving it for special occasions." Gloria made a noise of understanding but still had her eyes fixated on the ring. She handed it to Nicky and blinked at her sweetly. "It means 'family' in Russian," Nicky said turning the ring over in her hand before handing it back. "She told me that Dmitri bought her that ring for her thirtieth birthday. He never got her an engagement ring so this was supposed to make up for that, I guess. Those little jewels are theirs and their sons birthstones."

"That's sort of sweet," Gloria said, carefully putting the ring back in its pocket. It didn't upset her to see that Red had still hung on to such sentimental pieces from her marriage. She'd have done the same thing had her ex-husband, Daniel, allowed it.

But, after she had left him, things had only gone from bad to worse. Infuriated, he had only become more demanding. He had ordered she return her engagement and wedding ring, as well as anything else he had gifted her over the years. She'd walked away with nothing.

 _Not even your girls,_ a little voice echoed in her head. It was why she sometimes struggled to be overly sympathetic when Red would insult Dmitri. She knew he couldn't have been that bad.

She pulled the top layer of the jeweller box up to reveal the secret compartment underneath. Her eyes flickered in surprise at the white card that had a picture of Red with her late husband and sons printed onto it. Examining it, she realized it was Dmitri's obituary notice. Gloria didn't know why she was so surprised to see that she'd saved it, but she was.

Reading though the program, she flipped it over and studied the picture intently. Dmitri had his arm around his wife and his youngest son on his hip. They were all smiling-Galina's smile not quite meeting her eyes as she looked straight at the camera. Her hands rested on Yuri and Maxim's shoulders as they stood in front of her and grinned mischievously. Acknowledging that she was wearing an ill-fitting floral dress with a white knit sweater, made Gloria thankful that Red had had help shopping for her current wardrobe.

But even still, Gloria thought she looked cute. As she continued to examine the picture, she couldn't help but notice the way Dmitri was looking at her, rather than at the camera. Smiling proudly, as if he had the whole world in his hands. Meanwhile, Red had angled her body away from him. It almost made Gloria feel sorry for the guy, although she was sure that only someone who knew the truth would notice the emotional distance between the husband and wife. To anybody else, they just seemed like a beautiful family. It was a nice photograph.

Yet despite her sympathy for Dmitri, Gloria's heart fluttered with joy. She realized in that moment, that Red had never looked at anybody else the way she looked at her. Though she knew Red had said it before, when they had taken their romantic getaway, that she had never loved anyone the way she loved her, it was a different to actually _see_ it. Galina's husband had never known how loving and sensual she could be.

All that had been tucked away and waiting for her. Galina was always meant to be Gloria's, just as Gloria was always meant to be Galina' love between them and the joy in their lives made Gloria question just why she had been so anxious lately. There was nothing to fear.

Gloria set the card carefully aside and spied a small bag with a jewellers logo inscripted on it. It was nestled amongst three transparent ziplock bags filled with various pieces of cheap, plastic jewellery that Red's sons had gifted her throughout the years. Gloria held the bags up and smiled. Gumball rings, and tokened toys were accompanied by piece of paper with a description in Red's handwriting of the occasion and date each item had been given. She loved that Red had saved them all out of pure sentimentality.

Tucking the bags away, she reached for the jeweler's bag. Opening it, she pulled out a small velveteen box. As she stared at the item in her hand, her heart began to pound wildly in her ribcage. She cradled the small box as if it were a gift from God himself, and stroked her thumbs tentatively over the lid. Flipping the top open before she could even entertain an idea to do otherwise, Gloria gasped.

In her heart of hearts, with her breath caught suddenly in her throat, Gloria knew that this was something that she probably shouldn't have opened. Shaking with happiness, she couldn't make herself close the lid as she stared down at a beautiful, yellow gold band, covered in an array of small diamonds. The way the band was twisted resembled a small tiara, and she couldn't help herself as she slowly lifted the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger. It was beautiful, and a perfect fit. Flexing her hand playfully, she felt her heart skip a literal beat as the ring sparkled back at her.

"What are you doing?" Nicky asked, turning away from the television to give Gloria a piercing stare.

"I'm not doing anything," Gloria said quickly. She took the ring off and returned it to its little box. She shoved the box back into the bag and closed the lid of Red's jewellery box. Splaying her hand over the wood protectively, she couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corner of her lips.

"You putting on her rings so you can fantasize about becoming Mrs. Reznikov?" Nicky teased. She shook her head and beat the remote against her hand. "You're going to need some new batteries. This thing is lagging."

Gloria rolled her eyes, but clutched tightly to the jewelry box. "I'd never be Mrs. Reznikov…"

"I guess not," Nicky conceded, a proud smirk colouring her features as she was finally able to flick through channels. "Why would you want her dead husband's name? It's not even hers..she's just too cheap to pay the fee to change it."

"I think she just doesn't care," said Gloria. She continued to hold the jewelry box in her lap, her fingers tracing meaningless shapes along the top of it. "I think she likes having the same name as her sons," she explained. Shrugging her shoulders, she traced her fingers over her lips. She pinched her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger painfully before speaking. "I only went back to my maiden name after my divorce because Danny told me I had to."

Nicky scoffed, "Excuse my French, but he sounds like an ass."

"Yea," she licked her dry lips and drummed her fingers against the top of the box. "He can be." She met Nicky's eyes with a sad smile and shrugged. She motioned to the pile of garbage bags and said, "There's a DVD player somewhere in there that you could hook up to the TV."

"You know," Nicky said, "this isn't what I had in mind when I came over today."

"Then why are you here?"

"I told you…." Nicky shrugged. "I was hungry. Plus, I didn't want get roped into going shopping with Lorna and Franny."

"How do you and Lorna like living together?" asked Gloria. She looked around the room once more, and pulling her bottom lip between her teeth she chewed on it nervously. An eruption of butterflies set flight within her abdomen and she rubbed soothing circles in hopes of containing her nerves.

"Love it," Nicky said brightly. She went over to Gloria's bags in search of the DVD player. She opened up one and then dumped all the clothes onto the bed. "We're happy," she said confidently. Picking up a few articles of clothing at random, she lamely inspected them before scrunching her nose and tossing them back to the bed. "So you don't have to worry about me moving back."

A genuine laugh erupted in the depths of Gloria's chest. "I hope not," she said playfully. "Where would we put you?"

"I guess I'd have to crash in here," Nicky teased, "I wouldn't bunk with your kids...that would be weird."

"And in here wouldn't be?" asked Gloria, her brows furrowed in question.

Nicky shrugged. "Maybe if we upgraded to a king sized bed." She opened up another bag and this time pulled out the DVD player and it's cords. "Found it," she announced unnecessarily. She turned back to the television and worked to install it. "How come I'm doing all your work for you, Gloria?" she asked as she struggled to connect the wires to the back of the TV.

"Not sure," Gloria said lazily, "but you're doing a wonderful job, so keep it up." Looking up to the doorway, she could hear Red's voice from the living room and a feeling of calm instantly surged throughout the length of her. Moving the jewelry box from her lap, she touched her feet to the floor below. "When you're done with that, feel free to hang up some of these clothes."

"Where are you going?" Nicky questioned her unhappily.

"To the living room," said Gloria simply. Leaning against the doorway, she eyed the jewelry box on the bed and bit back a smile. "I miss your mother." Without waiting for a response, she walked out of the bedroom.

She could hear the sounds of Julio and Benny arguing behind the closed door of their new room, as they worked out who got what side of the room and how they wanted to arrange their furniture. She smiled. Whatever internal conflict she was battling with regards to her past demons, she knew she was making the right choice now, and that her sons were as happy to be here as she was. Although unconventional, they were a family and the love they had for one another was very true. Julio would go to Red for anything and Benny was thriving. It was like the puzzle pieces of her life were finally fitting together. She was so glad that she had made the decision to wait. She had taken things slow with Red for their sakes, and now she felt like she was being abundantly rewarded.

As she rounded into the living room she found Red curled up on the end of the sofa. She was surrounded by photographs that she appeared to be sorting through, and Gloria couldn't help but smile at the sight. It took all she had to not pounce on her and complain about being made to wait for the beautiful ring that was tucked away in her jewelry box. She wanted Red to do it in her own way, and knew that she would be upset if she had learned she had already tried it on.

"Hi, _mi amor_ ," Gloria crawled onto the couch beside her and kissed the corner of her mouth.

"Hi," Red replied absentmindedly.

"So this is what Nicky meant when she said you were _investigating_ ," Gloria wrapped an arm around her shoulder and leaned in closer to see the picture Red was currently holding.

It was photograph of a much younger Gloria. She was unsmiling, staring directly at the camera with a look of exasperation on her face. She was wearing a black halter top that showed her midriff, and a pair of ripped jeans. "You're so pretty!" Red cooed, her eyes dancing over the picture for what she would call the millionth time.

She had been so enthralled by the contents of the blue Nike shoe box. Pictures of Gloria, and the kids, and even some of Lourdes. She'd come across a couple of Gloria with some people she didn't recognize, but had every intention of asking her about. Four years together, and the woman's past rivaled that of the Bermuda Triangle.

"I looked like the kind of girl that I would hate for Julio or Benny to ever bring home," Gloria scoffed at the image of herself.

"How old do you think you were then?" asked Red. She traced her index finger along the edge of the photo, and squinted into the brown eyes looking up at her.

"I dunno," Gloria shrugged. "I think I wore my hair like that after I had Carmen."

Red's head snapped and she blinked several times in confusion before looking back at the picture. "You had two babies and your stomach looked like that?" she sounded impressed, if not a little envious.

"I bounced back after all my pregnancies," Gloria said matter-of-factly. "Except for Benny-that kid destroyed me."

"So around when Carmen was born…." Red pressed, deciding to test her theory of getting Gloria to talk, "how old would that have made you?" She flipped through a number of shots that appeared to be taken the same day, each one Gloria appearing to be more beautiful than the last.

"I guess around eighteen," Gloria shrugged.

Red pulled the picture closer to her face. "Eighteen?" she questioned. Without even realizing how high her brows had raised, she shook her head. She had known Gloria was young when she had started her family, but she hadn't realized that she was that young. Though she knew the girls were close in age, she was now a little fearful to question just how old Gloria had been when she had gotten pregnant with her first child. Turning to face her, she smiled softly and said, "You know, Love, you're supposed to write the dates and locations on the back of the picture once it's developed." She winked and tapped her playfully on the nose with the photograph.

"Who has time for that?" Gloria smiled. Choosing to ignore the shock and underlining questions she knew Red had regarding her background, she rested her head on her shoulder.

Red rolled her eyes and placed the photographs in one of her sortation piles on the coffee table. "I was just trying to pick out a few that we could display with mine," she explained. She motioned with her hand towards the picture wall that had small white frames hung in a pattern that caught everyone's attention when they walked into the apartment.

Gloria didn't even have to get up to go look at them anymore. She had them all memorized in her mind. Some of the photographs, like her favourites, were in black and white. The image of Galina with her two sisters, for example. All three girls were in their school uniforms on the first day of a new term. Another frame held a photograph of Galina on her eighteenth birthday, standing between her mother and father. There were school portraits of Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily, and Red had even found an adorable photo of five-year-old Nicky, dressed in a pink tutu for a ballet recital-even Nicky had agreed she looked cute. An image of Vasily and Lida, laughing together as Vasily held up the train of his bride's wedding gown for her. Maxim and Luca beamed with their arms around one another, as they stood in front of a canyon on one of their vacations. The grandchildren; Feliks, Ivanna, Alexei, and Vera were all displayed as well. Yet amongst Red's family, many frames hung empty and waiting. Red had always intended to fill them with photographs from Gloria's side of the family. It was one of her ways of ensuring that the place felt equally like both of theirs.

"I love how you pay attention to all these details that really bring everything together," Gloria kissed her lips. "Even when you go overboard and get really excited, because then I just can't stop thinking about how cute you are."

"Is it overboard to wish that you had bothered to put your photographs into an album instead of just stuffing them into a shoe box?" Red complained.

"If I had known you were going to be nosing through all my pictures someday, I'd have arranged them better for you, my love," Gloria teased. Red gave her a begrudging smile and leaned back against the arm Gloria had wrapped around her. They both faced one another, eyes opened and focused on each other, with matching smiles. For a moment they just enjoyed the teasing closeness as they waited to see who would blink first, and who would seal their love with a kiss.

Red surrendered quickest. She brushed their lips together and then pulled back, running her tongue over her mouth as she savoured Gloria's taste. Resting a hand lightly on Gloria's thigh, Red leaned forward to pull out another photograph from the box. She smiled and then held it out for Gloria to inspect. It was a picture of a newborn baby, swaddled and fast asleep. "Which child is that?" Red asked.

"Hmm...not sure," Gloria frowned at the image of one of her sleeping babies. She traced over the tiny figure with her finger, pursing her lips together as she studied the blue monkey blanket they wrapped protectively in. "Oh! It's Benny…." she cried excitedly. "I can tell by the ears."

"You're ridiculous," Red laughed.

"It's true," Gloria said seriously. "Looking back on it, if i could have afforded it, I would have had a Dumbo nursery for him."

Red rolled her eyes. "Gloria," she scoffed.

Gloria turned her attention back to the picture and smiled. "You know, I bought that blanket when I was pregnant with Julio. It was the first thing I had ever bought him. I was so excited to be having have a little boy."

Red squeezed her thigh and smiled. She enjoyed the love and ginuality in Gloria's face as she continued to look at the picture and she softly whispered, "I think we should frame that." She nodded her head in confirmation at the look of question Gloria gave her, and gently took the picture from her hand. "He is precious," she cooed. "Now, we just need a photo of Julio when he was small to make it equal." Gloria nodded her approval and Red placed it in the smallest pile on the table-evidently her choices for consideration.

Gloria reached for the pile, curious to see which pictures had stood out to Red the most. There was a beautiful portrait of Lourdes, her eyes glinting mischievously as though she had a secret. "Beautiful," Gloria nodded her approval. "This is just how I remember her." She set it aside and stared down at the next image.

It was a sweet picture of herself with Julio and Benny. The boys were dressed in shorts, t-shirts, and baseball caps. It had been taken in the grass beside a playground she used to take them to. Gloria could tell by the boy's ages and by the fact that she was wearing a long sleeved shirt with pants on a hot summer day, that it had been taken during the Arturo years. She involuntarily winced and the arm still wrapped around Red's shoulders twitched, as though it could remember the pain that had been inflicted on it so long ago.

She stared at the image of herself, resisting the urge to rip it to shreds. She wondered, upon further inspection, if Red would be able to see the caked on foundation and concealer. She had spent over an hour in front of the mirror trying to make herself look decently presentable. Her eyes flickered to her sons profiles and she could see where Benny's arms were wrapped tightly around her neck, and Julio was laying his head against her shoulder. She didn't want to, but she was remembering the looks on their faces when they had walked in on her in the bathroom. How she had shooed them out and then taken them to the park as a way of apologizing.

Lourdes had unwillingly taken the picture, saying Gloria was out of her mind to want such documentation. Looking down at it, she couldn't help but feel her aunt was right. The sickening feeling in her stomach returned and she passed the picture off to Red. "No… not this one," her voice was more strained than she intended it to be, and she had to mentally tell herself to keep a clear tone "It's cute…" she forced herself to say the words, "but I bet there are nicer ones."

"Sure," Red said, concern etched into every line of her face. "Is that the only reason?" She looked over the photograph, unsure why Gloria was so unhappy with it.

"No," Gloria said honestly, shaking her head. She reached for Red's hand and played with the ring she had placed on her finger a couple of weeks ago. Inhaling a deep breath, she felt the tightening in her abdomen worsen. She didn't want to talk about it more then she had to, but she wanted her to know the truth. "I don't like it…" she struggled to get the words out, and slowly licked her dry lips, "because it makes me think of Arturo."

"You were dating him at the time?' Red asked slowly, trying to understand how a photograph on Gloria with just her sons could trigger such harmful memories. She squinted at it in confusion, still not seeing anything amiss.

"Yes," Gloria nodded, "but that's not the only reason why." She linked their fingers together and squeezed. She felt one of her knuckles crack. "I don't know if you can see it in the picture," she trailed off, her heartbreaking as Red naturally pulled the photo closer to her face. "I hope you can't, but I'm actually covered in bruises." Blue eyes instantly met hers and she quickly looked away, not wanting Red to see the woman she used to be reflected in her eyes. "It's why I'm dressed so much heavier than everyone else. They were all down my arms, back, and legs."

"Honey-"

"If you look closely, maybe you can sort of make out the ones on my neck." Her eyes closed as soon as the words left her mouth. She didn't know why she had said that.

A pang shot through Red's heart as she hung on her every word. With Gloria's eyes focused on their joined hands she surveyed the picture once again. She didn't know why she did, why she wanted to see. Perhaps to make it real? Beneath the layers of makeup and wear of the picture, Red was able to finally make out the discoloration around her neck. She bit the inside of her cheek painfully and squeezed Gloria's hand back with what she hoped was comforting strength.

Gloria never talked about her abuse, but honestly, Red was a little grateful for that. She wanted to help her and comfort her, but she feared she would mess up and make it worse. Quickly, she berated herself for that line of thinking. She couldn't cherry pick Gloria's problems. If she was going to this, she was going to do it right. Gloria had already been through enough. She couldn't ask her to hold back certain parts of her story because it was too painful to accept.

She wanted to know everything about Gloria that there was to know, even the parts that were painfully hidden away-especially those parts. She didn't want them to have any secrets, but more than anything else, she didn't want Gloria to carry the burden of her pain alone any longer. Not when she didn't have to.

"I'm so sorry," Red finally whispered. She brought Gloria's hand to her lips and kissed it. The images she had in her head, of what a battered woman looked like, never resembled Gloria. "What an evil man," she said to herself. The epitome of strength, she couldn't see how Gloria could have ended up in such a dangerous situation, or rather, why someone, who was supposed to love her, would consciously put her in such a situation.

Reflexively, Gloria gripped her chin and kissed her eagerly, attempting to distract her with passion so that they could get off the subject of her former boyfriend. _Distractions,_ she told herself.

While it was the game she was best at, Red wasn't swayed. "Maybe it's not place," she said softly, her blue intensely staring into Gloria's brown ones, "but I'm not sorry he's dead."

A small, unconvinced smile tugged at one side of Gloria's mouth. She squeezed her hand tightly, and turned her attention back to the pictures in her lap. She hoped Red would understand her message, that for now, she was done talking about this.

She held up a photograph of her piggybacking Julio while Benny toddled along, smiling up at them in amazement. "I like this one," she said happily," all signs of distressed buried deep in the far recesses of her heart. "And this one," she added, selecting a more frayed one of a woman holding a little girl who looked to be about six, both beaming at the camera.

Red took the photo from her and studied it. "I was wondering who this was," she said. "Is it you and your daughter?"

Gloria chuckled softly and shook her head. "No," she smacked her lips. "That was my mother," Gloria pointed at the woman in the photo. Her mother's hair was pulled back into a large bun and she had wisps of curled hair laid against her face. Large red lips pulled into a smile as she posed for the camera and huge pearl earrings were clasped in her ears.

"So," Red smiled at her, "Is that you?"

"Yes." Gloria nodded. "Who else would it be?"

"Aww," Red gushed. "Look at you, so beautiful." She lifted her eyes and looked over Gloria's features and compared it quickly to that of her mother. "You know, you look like her," Red said quietly. If Gloria had longer hair and wore make-up, she was positive they could be twins. Gloria shrugged, but looked pleased at the likeness. She had always thought her mother was beautiful.

"Seeing this, now I think..." Red shuffled through some pictures in separate pile until she pulled out the one she was looking for . It was Gloria's first born, wearing a floral blue dress that had popsicle stains down the front. "Valentina takes after you so much!" Red held it up to the photograph of Gloria with her mother as a child. "It's like looking at the same person."

"Yeah, she takes after me," Gloria agreed. "Carmen favoured her dad in the looks department more."

"Which is your favourite of the girls?" Red asked, handing her the photos she had sorted of Valentina and Carmen.

"I don't know…" Gloria said uncertainly, shuffling through the stack.

"We should include them," Red said wisely, "so that if they ever come to visit they will see how much they've always meant to you."

"Well, I doubt they'll ever visit," Gloria said dryly. "They even lied to Lida about talking to me just to get her off their back. They don't want anything to do with me."

"Someday they will," Red said confidently. "You're their mother."

"Oh, yea, because Nicky is falling over herself to have a relationship with Marka, right?" Gloria asked stiffly. Red's eyes flashed from side to side and she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to see any similarities between Nicky's estrangement from her family and Gloria's daughters distance from her. Yet she saw her point.

Gloria sighed. "I like this one," she said, holding up an image of Valentina and Carmen as little girls dressed in beautiful Easter dresses with white caps on their head. The girls had always gotten a new outfit for special occasions, and their clothes for Christmas and Easter masses had always been especially planned. However, Danny had never extended his generosity to his wife. After an unfortunate incident where Carmen had accidently spilled her grape juice down the front of her mom's new yellow dress, Daniel had remarked in front of his family about how careless and unappreciative Gloria was with anything he bought her. Following that, she wore the same black dress to church every Sunday for years, and holidays were never any different.

"I'm done!" Benny announced, walking into the room. Gloria had never been more thankful for his presence then she was in that moment as she quickly turned the photographs of her girls over on the table.

Why did everything always have to be so painful? She tried to not let it get to her, but where there was good, bad always followed.

"Done unpacking?" Red adjusted herself on the sofa as to create a bit of space between her and Gloria, but was careful to not create too much. While she didn't want Benny or Julio to ever feel uncomfortable by the level of affection between them, she also didn't want to give off the impression to them, or to Gloria, that she was in any way embarrassed of the relationship. "Already?"

"Yep," Benny said brightly, plopping himself down into the armchair. "I'm all moved in. All that's left is to set up my video game console out here, but I'll wait and do that when Julio can help. It's no fun to play alone, anyway."

"Videogames," Gloria rolled her eyes over at Red. "Once you see how long they can zone out with that, you'll be thanking me for the television in the bedroom."

"You brought a television for the bedroom?" Red asked.

"Yep," Gloria smiled. "Nicky is setting it up for me."

"How come I can't have a television for my bedroom?" Benny complained.

"Because then you'd never come out," Gloria replied, "and you'd be missed."

"Whatever," Benny shook his head. "We just watch Netflix on Julio's laptop anyway." He leaned over to peer at the photographs sorted on the coffee table. "What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"Organizing your pictures," Red explained. "Your mother just threw them into a shoebox."

"Is that bad?" Benny asked casually, "because I just threw my clothes into the dresser without sorting them first."

"No wonder you're done so fast," Red rolled her eyes, "you really are your mother's son."

Benny paid her no mind as he looked through some of the pictures. "Ha! Julio's such a dweeb," he laughed, flashing them the picture.

Gloria frowned as she regarded the photo. "Baby, that's you…"

"No, it's not!" Benny said in outrage, "I had curly hair. Julio's was laid down flat,like someone poured olive oil on his head."

"I don't know who told you that," Gloria said, taking the photograph back, "but that is you."

"No it isn't," Benny said with a shake of his head.

"Your head was so big, they tried to grease you up to come out," Gloria joked, "it was a fail on their part. I have the c-section scar to prove it." She looked at him sternly, "You almost killed me."

"Aye, Mom," he groaned.

"What?" She questioned. "No one told you to try to come out feet first, cord around your neck. Besides, look at these ears!" she shook her head. " _Papi,_ you didn't have any teeth until after your first birthday either. Look…" She handed him another photo. "It's a wonder you look half as decent as you do now."

Benny wrinkled his nose at it in disgust. "Nobody sees this," he informed them, putting the photo face down on the table.

"Actually, Galina and I were thinking we should frame that one for the wall," Gloria teased, making Red laugh.

"Whatever wall of shame you're planning, I want no part of," Benny said strongly. He got up and went to the door to put his shoes on.

"Well, I'm going to put some pictures of you up," Gloria smirked, "so deal with it."

"Fine," Benny gave in, "but I have to approve them first!" He wiggled his foot into his sneaker, too lazy to crouch down and unlace it.

"Where are you going?" Red asked him.

"Just for a walk," Benny replied. "I won't be long."

"Feel like walking to the store to buy dog food?" Red asked him.

Benny shrugged. "Sure, why not?" He waited by the door as Red went to fetch her purse.

"Is it okay if I go with you?" asked Gloria, standing up and stretching. "I feel like I could use some fresh air."

"Sure," Benny agreed. Gloria slipped on her sandals and then automatically grabbed a knit sweater that Red had left hanging on the hook by the door. She wasn't even aware she was putting it on until Benny broke her out of her trance.

"Mom, it's like seventy-three degrees outside," he laughed awkwardly, "you're going to melt." Gloria tugged at a button on her sweater but did not move to fasten it. Chewing her lip, she felt awkward and uncertain. She could feel Red's concerned eyes upon her as she walked back over and handed Benny a shopping list and some money.

"Alright?" Red asked her softly. Gloria nodded and crossed her arms protectively in front of herself. She didn't want to admit it in front of Benny, but seeing that picture of herself with hidden marks of abuse had truly unnerved her. She felt phantom pains from bruises that had been gone for years burn down the length of her arm, and she gently massaged her fingers against herself in hopes that the pain would subside. The sweater was soft and warm against her skin, and she to admit that it brought her great comfort. She didn't want to remember the person that she was, or have what she shared with Red changed in anyway from what she revealed. Covering up, seemed like the easiest solution, and in a way it felt like she was disguising the emotional and mental scars of the victim she used to be.

"Benny and I will pick up some dinner," Gloria forced herself to speak normally. "Would you like pizza or Chinese?"

"Neither," Red scoffed. "I'll have supper ready for when you get back."

"You sure?" Gloria smiled. "I thought I'd give you the night off. It's been such a busy day."

"She didn't help much," Benny pointed out. "She's been hanging out in the living room all day while we unpacked."

"I did my share yesterday," Red gave him a stern look. "Your bedroom has never been cleaner. I hope you appreciate those dust free baseboards and polished floor."

"You polished the floor?" Benny blinked. "Now that's devotion." He grinned mischievously and looked down at the note Red had written. "You only asked me to pick up one thing...did you think I'd forget?"

"I think you'd bring home the wrong kind," Red told him. "And my dog is very particular."

"Wonder where he gets that from?" Benny joked, as he pocketed the note and money. "Well, see you later." He waved. "Let's go, mom." He led the way out the door and out into the humid August afternoon.

Benny kept up a humorous flow of chatter as he and his mother walked down the busy street together. It was a short distance from their new home to the plaza where the pet store was and within minutes Gloria began to feel overheated and tied the sweater around her waist. "Told you," Benny said, as he watched her wipe a bead of sweat off of her forehead. Gloria didn't reply. The emotional turmoil she had felt at the memories of Arturo were not something she wanted to share with her son. Benny's innocence had already been compromised enough by that man and all Gloria wanted him to do now was forget. Hell, all she wanted to do was forget.

Benny seemed so light hearted and content as they strolled together, and she didn't want to do anything to ruin that. Just seeing the changes in him from where he had been in June, when she had first come home, convinced Gloria that she was making the right choices for both him and Julio.

The walked into the pet store and Gloria couldn't help but smile as she was immediately face to face with a crate that held six kittens. Two gray, two black, one orange, and one calico. "Aww," Gloria crooned and she she stuck a finger through the crate for them to inspect. The calico pounced first, batting at her finger before jumping up to bite. "Feisty little thing, aren't you," Gloria told the cat, who meowed back in response.

"Someone brought them in hoping that we could find them homes," The cashier said, leaning over the counter. "They're free, if you'd like one."

"I don't," Gloria said, smiling politely. "But thank you." She walked down the aisles in search of Benny. He had gone ahead to grab the dog food Red had asked for and then had wandered over to the bird aisle. Gloria found him staring up at a large red and green parrot.

"Can I have him?" Benny asked when Gloria reached his side.

"No," Gloria said immediately. "What would you do with a parrot?"

"Have conversations," Benny replied. "This one already knows some excellent swear words."

"That you probably taught him," Gloria crossed her arms as she stared at the large bird. She wasn't very unimpressed. "Besides, those things live for like a hundred years."

"Alright, what about something else?" Benny replied, looking around. "I've never had a pet before." He pointed at at a nearby cage where a Ball Python was sleeping on a rock. "He's cool."

"A snake!" Gloria exclaimed, "that is terrifying!"

"Okay...maybe a snake or a parrot would be a bit much," Benny conceded, "but can I get something?"

"Sure," Gloria replied, smiling pleasantly. "You can pick out any goldfish or hamster than you'd like."

"Ha Ha," Benny shook his head, "I meant something cool. I bet I could find something that we both would like."

"That I'd like?" Gloria raised her eyebrows.

"Tolerate," Benny said quickly.. "Can we look?"

"I didn't know that you wanted a pet," Gloria said, as they walked away from the Parrot and down the aisle of amphibians. Benny waved goodbye to the bird. He nodded.

"You never let me when I was little," Benny replied. "And Tia said Julio and I were like having animals in the house already." Gloria moistened her lips and squeezed her arms more tightly around herself. She hadn't allowed her sons to have a pet when they were little because Arturo had forbidden it. He didn't like animals and Gloria would never have so blatantly defied him.

"I don't know Benny," Gloria said hesitantly. "Galina already has a dog and it's a small apartment…"

"I don't have to get something big," Benny countered. "The tank would stay in my bedroom, you wouldn't even know that it's there."

"Which means you'd do everything for it?" asked Gloria, eyeing him warily.

"Yep," Benny nodded confidently, "you wouldn't have to lift a finger." He peered into a enclosure of frogs and shook his head as he moved on. They walked slowly down the aisle as Benny looked into each habitat. He bypassed all the snakes because he knew Gloria would never agree. He stopped to consider a turtle before moving on to the next creature. "Hey, he's cool!" Benny tapped on a glass enclosure.

"A bearded dragon," Gloria read the sign slowly. "Seriously?"

"He's not that expensive," Benny pointed at the price sticker.

"That's just the cost of the reptile itself though," Gloria pointed out. "We'd still have to buy the tank and stuff to put into it…"

"I'll pay you back," Benny pleaded.

"How?" Gloria snorted. "The only money you have is what I give you for an allowance."

"You wouldn't have to get me anything for Christmas," Benny tried to persuade her. "Please….I really want it."

"You were just supposed to pick up dog food," Gloria scratched the back of her neck as she considered.

"But isn't he cute?" Benny smiled.

"No," Gloria shook her head. "Not even a little bit." She exhaled loudly and smiled at her son. "You can get it," she relented. She reached up to ruffle Benny's hair. "Consider it your reward for doing so well in school this summer."

"Thanks!" Benny said excitedly.

"We're going to need to take a cab home," Gloria murmured. "We'll have too much to carry and I am not calling Galina to come pick us up. She will not be impressed."

A sales clerk helped Benny find everything that he would need for his new pet and then helped load the Bearded Dragon of his choosing into a container for transporting. Benny looked absolutely delighted. Although she could think of probably a million things she would rather buy with her money, Gloria couldn't help but smile when she realized how happy she had made her son. Excluding the rollercoaster of emotions she was riding on, life just seemed so pleasant and easy now. She couldn't understand why relationships and parenting had always been so difficult for her before. She couldn't believe she had ever been content with less.

As she waited for Benny, Gloria walked back over to peer at the kittens. Most of them were cuddled together on the highest perch, taking a nap. Except for the calico. The one who had caught her eye when she had first walked in the doors was still busy batting at a ball down at the bottom of the enclosure.

"You sure you don't want one?" The sales clerk teased, as she returned to the counter with Benny.

"I've always liked cats," Gloria admitted, walking back over to the cash register to pay. "I had two cats growing up that I adored. But I haven't had one since. I wasn't allow-it just never was the right time," she blushed.

"Well, you can go home and think about it...come back if you change your mind," the clerk suggested.

"Yeah…." Gloria bit her lip. She looked back over at the kittens and gritted her teeth, as she tapped her debit card against the countertop.

"If you want one mom, just get one," Benny told her laughing.

"The place is too small…" Gloria told him. "Where would we put the litter box and everything?"

"You could find somewhere," Benny shrugged.

"I should call and ask if it's okay," Gloria reached anxiously into her pocket for her phone. If Red gave her permission, Gloria knew she would be scooping up a kitten in a heartbeat. Her hand tightened around her phone for a moment and then she released it. Shaking her head for clarity, Gloria took a deep breath. She didn't need to ask for _permission_ , she reminded herself. Red was not Arturo.

"What if it clawed up the furniture?" Gloria said hesitantly to Benny.

"Teach it not to," Benny shrugged. "And you can buy a scratching post."

"We sell this clear double-sided tape that can go on furniture to prevent the cat from scratching," the clerk smiled. "Are you renting a furnished space?"

"No," Gloria shook her head. "It's just...she already has a dog …I don't know if she'd want a cat too." She looked a little nervous, but couldn't help herself from walking closer to the kittens as she spoke. "I know she likes them though…"

"Well, you can always bring the kitten back if it doesn't work out," the clerk suggested. "Take one home for a trial?"

"Yeah," Gloria nodded cautiously. "Maybe I could do that…" She didn't want to invite conflict into their home so early in the game. She knew that Red wouldn't be exactly thrilled about Benny's new pet, but Gloria was willing to go ahead with that anyway because she thought her son deserved it. It was also much different to have a pet that stayed in a glass tank and she could pretend was not even there.

The clerk nodded and smiled. "Do you want to play with them? See which one you like best?"

"No need," Gloria smiled down at the feisty calico. "I really like this one." She opened the crate and scooped up the playful little kitten. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl," the clerk answered.

"Hi, beautiful girl." Gloria rubbed her cheek happily against her new kitten. "Do you want to come home with me?" she cooed. Smiling over at the clerk, and ignoring Benny's Cheshire cat grin, Gloria nodded. "I'll take her," she said happily.


	20. Chapter 21

**Thanks for reviewing, Elena. I really like your idea about Nicky and am going to work it into the next chapter.**

In her heart of hearts, Gloria knew the moment she stepped outside the store doors with her new kitten in her arms that this would not just be a trial home visit. The new little missy was a keeper and Gloria was already in love. Her heart was fluttering in a mixture of anticipation and elation. She hoped that Red would be alright with the two new additions. The last thing Gloria had intended to do was bring home conflict on their first day living together. However, she had really wanted this cat, and Benny was obviously thrilled with his pet Bearded Dragon. She just hoped it would be a smooth transition.

Gloria had phoned Red's oldest son, Yuri, to ask if he wouldn't mind giving her and Benny a lift home. She wasn't in the mood to deal with irritated cab drivers that wouldn't want animals in their car. Besides, Yuri had been planning to drop by for dinner anyways. He lived nearby and was single, and so he tended to seek out his mother's company more than his two younger brothers that were busier. It was nothing to go pick them up on his way. He had always liked for Benny. He sympathized and related to him in many ways. Yuri also liked Gloria. Anybody could see how happy she made his mother, which was more than enough for him.

"To be honest, I'm sort of eager to see the look on my mother's face when she sees that reptile," Yuri snickered. He glanced back in the rearview mirror at Benny, who was jammed into the back seat with all of their purchases. His Bearded Dragon was sitting in its carrier on his lap.

Gloria ran her tongue over her top and lower lip. "Do you think she'll be mad?" she asked him anxiously. She gave a nervous sort of laugh and stroked the multi-coloured coat of her kitten for her own comfort as much as the animal's. "I know it's a little crazy," she shook her head as thought attempting to rid herself of the anxiety she hadn't yet managed to shake off. "We haven't even unpacked yet," she rolled her eyes, "and now we're bringing home a lizard and a cat…"

Sensing Gloria's uncertainly, Yuri glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I doubt Mama is going to mind, Gloria," he said, with an encouraging smile. "A reptile wouldn't be her choice, but she'll deal."

"They'll probably wind up being the best of friends," Benny said confidently. He had the lid up on the lizard's carrier, and was stroking it's rough back as one would with a furry pet.

"I admire your optimism, bud," Yuri laughed. "That might be a bit too hopeful." He glanced over at the kitten in Gloria's arm. It was curled up into a little ball and was very still. It seemed to be finding comfort in Gloria, although it probably was missing its littermates at the moment. "Ma has always liked cats though," he added.

Feeling slightly reassured, Gloria glanced over at Red's oldest son with a look of fondness. "You and your brothers had a cat when you were growing up, right?" she asked conversationally.

Yuri nodded. "Her name was Myshka," he motioned to Gloria's new kitten. "She had a very colourful coat as well, except hers had more black than white in it."

"Where'd you get her from?" Benny asked.

Yuri palmed the steering wheel and turned down the street that they all lived on. His bachelor apartment was just a few minutes down the road from theirs. It was a crowded, residential street with cars all parked at the curb and old mansions refurbished into several separate dwelling units.

"She followed me and my brothers home from school one day," he answered Benny. " I guess she was trying to get some help because she looked as though she'd been in a fight or something. She was missing patches of her fur and had a slit in one ear where she had been cut."

"Aww," Gloria crooned sadly. She leaned down to kiss the perfect ear of her own kitten. Holding her close, Gloria felt comfort and peace radiating off of the little purring being. She was so happy to have her.

"She was actually a pretty mean old thing," Yuri laughed at the memory. "But when we showed her to Mama, she let us take her upstairs. Once the store was closed for the night Ma helped fix her up and said we could keep her. Papa wasn't happy though-he didn't like animals much. But Ma let her sleep in the bed with her every night anyway."

"Your mother can be such a softie," Gloria smiled at the image he painted in her mind. "She just doesn't like to admit it." She felt a stirring of comfort in her stomach that soothed her and reminded her that things were alright. She and Galina were happily building a home together and Gloria could bring a cat into it if she wanted to. Red would not object or forbid her anything. Theirs wasn't that type of relationship. Domineering dynamics were in the past for them both. This was an equal partnership.

"Yeah, she liked that cat," Yuri said. Suddenly he got a pained look on his face. "Myshka was constantly searching for mama after she was gone. Would meow and wander around the apartment and it drove my father insane. He put her to sleep shortly after."

"Why would your father be so mean?" Benny sounded horrified.

"Well, Papa never liked the cat," Yuri reasoned. "And when Myshka starting peeing all over the house and got really skinny because she wouldn't eat, it was sort of the last straw. She really became a menace and she was getting pretty old too. We had her for nine years and I don't know how long she lived on the streets before that."

"She was probably just broken hearted about your mom being gone," Benny said logically. "She was acting like that because of stress."

"You're probably right," Yuri agreed sadly, glancing in the rear-view mirror back at Benny. "Just do me a favour and keep that between us, though. My mother shouldn't know."

"Okay, why?" Benny looked confused.

Yuri sighed. "We told her the cat died in its sleep."

"Another lie?" Gloria glared pointedly at Yuri. "How many more are there?"

"Mama loved that cat and she didn't need another reason to feel guilty," Yuri defended his family's secrecy. "Also, my parents would have just gotten into a huge fight if she had known what my father did."

"Well, I agree with you about that," Gloria sighed. She nuzzled her kitten closer, and felt a wave of sadness rush over her. There was just so much wrong with their lives. She hated to think of Galina being forced away from her home and family. Leaving behind her beloved cat and three sons struggling to accept what should have never even happened. Life could be so cruel, and that was something that they had in common. It was a shared pain that intensified their intimacy and made their new beginning feel so incredible. They knew suffering, and now they knew good.

Yuri parked the car and then jumped around to the back and opened the door. He took out the the litter box with one hand and grabbed two bags with the other. Effectively, clearing the way, Benny slid out of the car with his reptile's carrier. He turned around to grab the bag of dog food that had been resting at his feet.

"I'll come back for the rest," Yuri told Gloria and he turned to lead the way up the flight of stairs to the porch. Gloria followed him. She cradled her kitten and walked with a pounding heart. She sort of wished that she had consulted with Red before being so impulsive, but she had enjoyed asserting her independence today. She hoped Red would understand.

The atmosphere when they entered the apartment was warm and inviting. The TV was loud and turned on to a game show that nobody was really paying attention to. Nicky was sitting sideways in the armchair with her phone out. Julio was busy setting the table for their dinner and didn't even notice their arrival straight away. He was chatting enthusiastically with Red, who had her back to the door while she worked to put the finishing touches on her cooking. While Yuri and Benny kicked off their shoes, Gloria held back. Leaning against the door she surveyed the pleasant scene before her. Her eyes rested on Red's back and she smiled as a rush of gratitude fluttered within her abdomen. This was home.

"All those books are going to cost me over three hundred dollars," Julio was complaining, "I mean, I've been saving money all summer for them but still…" He set a plate down at the final spot.

Red added a heap of butter into the pot of potatoes. "Well, hopefully you'll be able to get most of your books secondhand," she said to Julio. She turned around to smile at Gloria briefly in greeting and then walked over to the fridge. "I thought you got lost," she said lightly, "you were gone so long." She pulled out the jug of milk and then did a double take. Turning back around to look at Gloria again. "Is that a cat?" she asked.

Her question caught Nicky's attention and she put down her phone to stare curiously at the soft little bundle in Gloria's arms. "I always dubbed you for a cat person," she told her. "You probably appreciate their inquisitive independence...although I, personally, have always found cats to be jerks.

Ignoring Nicky, Gloria shuffled anxiously over to the kitchen to give Red a closer glimpse of the kitten cradled in her arms. "She was at the pet store and they were trying to find a home for her."

"Oh…" Red peered down at the animal with interest. Then she opened up the milk and added some to the pot of potatoes. Gloria leaned back against the counter and tried to understand what Red's lack of a reaction meant.

"We get to keep her?" Julio asked his mother. He looked delighted. Setting the last dish down onto the table, he went over to examine the kitten. "Can I hold her?" he asked, scratching it behind the ear.

"Sure," Gloria relented. She begrudgingly passed over the small calico kitten to Julio. The kitten's eyes flashed and her ears twitched. Gloria allowed him to hold her for a few minutes while she watched Red finish making the mashed potatoes that would go with the gravy she had set on the stove. Then Gloria took the kitten back. The kitten immediately began to purr and relaxed back into a doze.

"Playing favourites already?" Yuri shook his head at the animal. "Now she really is reminding me of Myshka. Huh, Ma?"

"What do you mean?" Red frowned over at him.

"Just how Myshka always liked you the best," Yuri replied. "Vasily could barely touch her."

"Well that's because he was the genius who got the brilliant idea to dress her up in those ridiculous outfits," Red rolled her eyes, "of course the animal was going to hold a grudge."

"Yeah, he was a dope," Yuri laughed. "I'm going to get the rest of the stuff from the car." He slipped his shoes back on and walked out the front door.

Yawning, Nicky got up off of the couch and stretched. "What made you decide to get a cat?" she asked, walking over to investigate. Reaching out a hand to stroke the kitten under the chin, Nicky snatched her hand back quickly as the kitten sunk its razor teeth in. "Ouch!" she yelped, running a hand over the bite marks ,"Is that thing feral?"

"No," Gloria said defensively, "she's just nervous around new people. She needs time to get acclimated and you caught her by surprise."

"That's what I used to say to defend Myshka," Red teased. Just then, Duke came jetting out of the bedroom, where had undoubtedly been taking a nap on their bed. He was wagging his golden tale excitedly, clearly aware that Gloria had something very exciting in her arms. "Sit," Red commanded, and Gloria held her kitten protectively up high out of his reach.

"You want to see?" Gloria asked the dog. "Stay…" As the dog obeyed, Gloria stretched down so that he could sniff out the smaller animal that had just become his roomate. The kitten hissed and dug her claws into the fabric of Gloria's shirt. "Probably enough for now," she murmured, standing back up. "We'll take it slow, darling."

"I hope they'll get along," Red said carefully,patting the dog on the head as he whimpered but remained obediently still.

"They will," Gloria said confidently, "give it some time." Smirking, she added, "you and I didn't get along too well at first either, love."

"You stole my kitchen," Red said dramatically. "What did you think was going to happen?"

"Okay, first of all, stealing implies I wanted it in the first place," Gloria retorted. "And I gave it back to you in the end, didn't I? Wasn't I nice?"

Red rolled her eyes at the ground and shook her head. She looked up and over at the door when she heard the sound of Yuri coming back in. He was struggling to carry the heavy glass enclosure over the threshold. He had filled it with all of their other purchases so that he wouldn't need to make any more trips.

"What's with the box?" Red folded her arms, nodding at the case at Yuri's feet.

"It's for Benny's new friend," Gloria said quietly. She rubbed a circle on Red's back and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Remember you said you'd always love me no matter what?" Red craned her neck for the first time to spy where Benny was.

Unnoticed by the others as they had all gathered around the kitten, Benny had sat down at the table and pushed the plate aside so that he could lay down the carrying case. Examining his bearded dragon, he had been paying nobody else any mind and didn't even notice that everyone had currently turned to look at him.

"What did you do?" Red asked Gloria softly. A peculiar smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. So far she looked simply curious.

"Made my little boy happy," Gloria whispered.

"No wonder you two took so long," Red murmured. "Dog, cat, what else?" She crossed her arms across her chest and walked over to the table where Benny had set down the carrying case. She leaned down to look inside and then pulled back in surprise. "Benny," she looked at him in astonishment, "what is that supposed to be?"

"A bearded dragon," Benny replied informatively.

"A dragon?" Red repeated, looking horrified. Her eyes flashed over to Gloria who shrugged nervously. Then she turned back at Benny.

"Not like the fire breathing kind," Benny sighed. "That's just what they're called….but I'm going to name her just "Dragon" because it sounds fierce." He smiled proudly at his own brilliancy.

"Uh huh," said Red. She glanced over at Gloria again, who was biting her lip and watching the exchange anxiously, the kitten still in her arms. "So I guess this is what I get for not doing my own shopping."

"We still picked up the dog food," Benny nodded at the door, "it's over there."

"Thanks," Red said dryly. Pulling out the chair next to Benny, Red sat down beside him and continued to watch the Bearded Dragon with enthrallment. "It doesn't look very friendly," she observed. "It's all huddled up in the corner."

"That's just because she's a little scared from the trip," Benny defended his new pet. "She'll feel better once she settles in. "

"I'm sure you're right," Red patted his shoulder.

"Bearded Dragons are very social creatures," Benny told her knowingly. " The saleslady said some people even teach them to walk on leashes."

"I see," Red replied weakly, although she looked more amused than anything.

"You want to hold her?" Benny joked, already knowing what the answer would be. He opened the door of the cage and reached in to pull out the bearded dragon.

"No!" Red exclaimed. As Benny held it out to her in his hands, Red quickly got to her feet to put some distance between herself and the dragon.

"What are you scared, Ma?" Nicky teased.

"A little revolted," Red admitted, "I don't know why anybody would want such a thing in their house."

"Well, first he asked for a parrot," Gloria answered for him, coming back over, "so we compromised."

"And then you decided one creature wasn't enough so you picked out a cat for yourself?" Red asked.

"Basically," Benny chortled.

"Well, the kitten wasn't really my fault," Gloria replied. "I fell in love, it couldn't be helped. I think you know something about that, huh, Galina?"

"Smooth," Nicky laughed.

Red gave Gloria a begrudging smile. She was easily swayed by any reminder of how much she was loved by her, and Gloria knew it. "But where are we going to keep all of these animals?"

"We'll make room," Gloria replied. "Benny is going to keep the lizard's enclosure in his room."

"Well, that's a relief," Red said. "Then at least I won't have to see it."

"I gotta say, Ma," Yuri chuckled. He had sat down on the couch and switched the television channel from the game show to sports. "You're handling this much better than the time when Maxim caught a frog in the park and wanted to keep it for a pet. You must be getting soft in your old age."

"Not completely,' Red glared at her son. "And if you're expecting to stay for supper tonight, then you better hurry up and find a spot for that tank in the boys' room." She tapped Benny on the shoulder. "Go help him," she said. "Once that _thing_ is put away we can eat."

"She's not a thing, she's a member of the family," Benny corrected, as he got up to follow Yuri into his bedroom. Julio went after them to help. Wrinkling her nose, Red picked up the small carrier that the lizard had been in and looked around for a place to put it. She obviously disapproved of the way Benny had put it on her set table. It had probably taken all of her restraint not to reprimand him.

"I guess we can put the cat's litter in the bathroom," she commented. "It won't bother anyone in there." She glanced over at Nicky. "Honey, would you mind taking care of that?"

"What's with all the chores today?" Nicky grumbled good naturedly, "I usually come over here to relax." She walked over to the door and picked up the box and bag of litter that they had picked up at the pet store.

"I'm glad you're not upet," Gloria kissed Red's cheek. "I was actually pretty nervous to come home like this."

Red shrugged. "It's sort of nice to take advantage of these kinds of freedoms," she replied. "Just don't bring home anything else," she warned. " I think we've reached our limits….or this apartment's limits, anyway."

"Yeah, this place is going to going to turn into an episode of animal hoarders soon if you don't watch out," Nicky commented, as she walked by to go set up the litter box in the bathroom like her mother had asked.

Red moved closer to Gloria and brushed her lips gently. "I am so happy that you're here," she murmured. She kissed her again and Gloria could feel that she was smiling. "That we get to live together and share this life." She gave the kitten an affectionate glance. "You could have brought home a snake and I'd probably still be willing to compromise."

"And I could have too," Gloria chuckled. "He asked for a snake after parrot. A tiny reptile _was_ the compromise."

"Good call," Red shook her head, "because I don't think I really meant it about the snake. That would have been...bad. But I'd have tried to make the best of it if it was important to you"

Gloria laughed. "I love you so darn much!" she said passionately.

"So, what are you going to call her?" Red asked, looking down at the sleeping kitten in Gloria's arms. She didn't try to touch it since the animal had already made it pretty clear that she preferred Gloria.

"What was that Russian name you said would be good for a cat?" Gloria smiled, but Red drew a blank. "Almost two years ago...we were talking on the phone and you said something about cats. Sol...something."

"Oh, _Solnyshko_ ," Red smiled.

"Yeah, she need a simpler name that that," Gloria teased, "something people who aren't you can actually pronounce."

"Then why did you ask?" Red rolled her eyes.

"To hear you say it," Gloria teased.

"Well, what were you thinking then?" Red asked, she walked over to the oven and opened up the door to take out the roasting pan. Reaching for the meat thermometer, she checked to ensure the roast beef was done. Gloria breathed in the delicious smells and wandered back into the kitchen after her. The mashed potatoes, gravy, and boiled carrots were being kept warm on top of the stove. Sitting on the counter, was a large garden salad and some fresh bread that Red had picked up at the market that morning.

Red placed the roasting pan on top of a pot holder on the counter and removed the lid. "Patches?" she suggested, as she reached for her carving knife and fork.

"Too obvious," Gloria shook her head. "Amarah...Amalia...Ameila…"

"Millie for short?" Red smiled, as she began slicing the roast beef up. "That's kind of cute."

Gloria smiled. "Yeah, it is," she agreed. "Okay, Millie," she kissed the tip of the kitten's nose, "now you've got a name too. This is such a big day for you!" Red just laughed at Gloria's enthusiasm. She thought she was adorable.

A few minutes later everyone had congregated back into the kitchen. "Grab a plate," Red told them all. She raised her eyebrows at Benny, who had come back into the room with his dragon tucked casually inside the pocket of his short. "Nice try," she said. "Go put that dragon away. You can't bring that to the table when we're about to eat."

"If I can't bring Tiny Dragon, then mom can't bring the kitten," Benny argued. He went to the cupboard and pulled out a small bowl. Smiling innocently at Red, he went over to the salad and began picking some vegetables out. "I'm just going to to fix her dinner first."

"My salad?" Red commented.

"She likes vegetables," Benny replied. "She also likes bugs."

"That's disgusting," Red told him. Sighing, she picked up her plate and began to dish herself some dinner.

"This all looks great, Ma," Yuri kissed the top of her head as he walked past her. He sat down at the table next to Nicky, who had already begun eating without waiting for the rest of them. Benny went off to his bedroom to settle "Dragon" in her new enclosure with some vegetables .

Gloria opened up a can of wet cat food and placed it on the floor in a patch of sunlight. She set Millie down and then went back to join the others at the table. However, it felt like half-a-second before Millie had quickly jetted over to the table and began pawing at Gloria's leg, meowing hopefully.

"Shoo," Red said, but the cat paid her no mind. Benny came back to the table and sat down to eat with them. It was the first meal that was being shared in this apartment as an official family. It seemed only right that Nicky and Yuri would be with them. They were all so happy to be together and the mood was light. Millie persitted with loud meows and attempts to crawl up her new owner's leg, but Gloria resisted the temptation to pick her up-although she did sneak the kitten a small piece of beef when nobody was looking.

Bantering back and forth just as any brother and sister related by blood would, Nicky teased Yuri about needing to set him up with somebody soon. She didn't want him to be alone forever, and Red vocally agreed that she hoped he would soon put himself back out there again. He hadn't dated anybody since his separation from Anna and didn't even have much desire to. It wasn't fear of getting hurt again, because nothing would ever be as painful as severing his marriage and losing his two children in the process. In many ways he was still grieving.

Quite honestly he preferred spending time with his mother and his brothers' families more than going out anyway. They were making up for lost time, and Yuri felt like he could understand a little bit of what his mamochka had been through. He hadn't been imprisoned, but the law still prevented him from being as close to his children as he yearned to be. He was allotted alternative weekends for visitation, but now that Feliks and Ivanna were older, they often would beg to stay home so that they could be with their friends. It broke Yuri's heart, but he didn't want to force them to come see him if they didn't want to.

It gave him a bit of hope to see his mother with Gloria though. It was a little weird and certainly not a relationship he could have ever foreseen his mother being a part of, but it was obvious just how happy it made her. For that, he would always give her his full support. He hoped that someday things would turn around for himself as well. He wanted to be that lucky in his lifetime too, and just because his marriage to Anna hadn't worked out, did not mean that he was doomed to be alone forever. Love happened in its own time and could never be forced.

"Alright…" Gloria said, looking between her two sons. "Who's going to do the dishes tonight?" Red had been about to rise from her seat to do exactly that, but as Gloria addressed her sons, she settled back down and took a sip from her water glass. Leaning down to pick up Millie, Gloria stroked her little head and waited for one of them to volunteer. She didn't want to set a precedent that Red would simply take care of everything for them. The boys were used to chores and looking after themselves. Not that Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily hadn't been put to work as kids, but Red would have been just as likely to do things herself because she was so exact about her expectations. But Gloria wanted her sons to contribute.

"Benny should," Julio told his mother. He pointed at his brother and then motioned to the table. "I already set the table before dinner."

"Huhhh," Benny groaned loudly, but he didn't protest as he got to his feet. He was in too good of a mood to make a fuss about doing all the dishes. He went to fill the sink with soapy water and started bringing over some of the plates from the table.

"I'll help you," Red smiled, as she began covering up all the leftover food to be placed in the refrigerator. She brought over the remaining dishes from the table and put all of the condiments away. Once she did that, the dishes to do didn't seem like so much, and Benny was finished within a few minutes.

"Thanks," Benny told Red softly. "And thanks for supper too...it was really good." He went into his bedroom to check on Dragon. She had finished nibbling on the vegetables he'd offered and was now basking under her heating lamp. "Hey, girl," Benny said softly, and reaching into the container he pulled the reptile out and cradled it closely. Tomorrow he planned to go find some sticks and rocks to fill up her habitat. He'd ride his bike down to the park.

When he came back out into the living room, Yuri had his shoes on and was about to go home for the evening. He kissed his mother and then called goodnight to them all. Nicky was curled up in the armchair with her legs dangling over the side. She was texting somebody on her phone and looked quite content. She didn't seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere. Gloria and Julio were sitting on the sofa together. They shifted over to make room for Red once Yuri had left.

"We should watch a movie," Nicky told them. "I've got nowhere to be for a little while longer."

"Is Lorna still shopping?" Red asked.

"She just texted me," Nicky waved her phone in her hand. "She's having dinner at Franny's and will drive by to pick me up in a couple of hours. So we should do something."

"I'd watch a movie," said Gloria. "Where's Benny?" She turned around and spotted him lingering in the hall with his reptile. "You wanna watch a movie?" she asked him.

"Sure," Benny shrugged. He pausing by the table just long enough to pick up one of the chairs around it and carried it over to the couch.

"You know what we should watch?" Julio said eagerly. He turned to Red. "Remember when we were talking about 'Life of Pi'?"

"Yes," Red nodded.

"We both read the book and I did a report on it for school," Julio explained. "The movie is really good though."

"Oh, I see," Gloria replied, smiling at Red. "Do we have it?"

"Yeah, I have it on DVD," Julio replied. "Tia got it for my birthday last year. I'll be right back." He sped off towards his bedroom.

Red turned to Benny, who was sitting stiffly on the kitchen chair with Dragon. "We can make room on the couch for you," she offered. "That chair can't be too comfy."

"I'm okay," Benny replied instantaneously. Then he considered again. "Well...alright," he gave in. He got up and sat down on the edge of the couch beside Red, who shifted closer to Gloria to make room for him. "You sure you don't want to hold her?" Benny teased, holding up the Bearded Dragon more closely for Red's inspection.

"No," Red shook her head, "and I never will. Sorry."

"She's acting more curious now though," Benny observed, enjoying the way his lizard was peering around and seemed slightly calmer. "She's getting used to the place."

"I guess you're already doing a pretty good job of making her feel comfortable," Red replied. She stared at the lizard, who stared back. "I put aside some leftover vegetables in the fridge for you to give her."

"I'll give her some before I put her to bed," Benny replied, "thanks."

"Hey," Nicky called to get everyone's attention. "You know what would make this more fun? Popcorn." She nodded persuasively. "You need popcorn to watch a movie."

"So go make some," Gloria said absentmindedly. She stroked Millie's fur. The kitten had barely left her lap since she had brought her home.

"I thought you'd treat me after all the work I did for you this afternoon, Gloria," Nicky sighed. She got up and went into the kitchen to find the bagged popcorn that she knew would still be in the cupboard from when she had lived here. Julio came back into the room with the DVD in hand. He popped it into the player and then went back to his spot, next to his mother, on the end of the couch. Gloria and Red were sandwiched between the two boys, and though they were crowded, it was very cozy.

Nicky made a lot of popcorn and separated it into three bowls. She handed one to Julio and another to Benny. "Can I hold the Tiny Dragon?" she asked, as she passed Benny a snack. "I've always liked these things in a weird way. They're so creepy, it's cool."

"Yeah, okay," Benny agreed, and he gave Dragon to Nicky. She went back to the armchair, laughing at the bizarre animal as she chomped away on popcorn. Julio switched off the lamp and they all settled in.

It was a good movie and they all were hooked. The empty bowls of popcorn were placed on the coffee table and the room was quiet with everyone's eyes glued to the screen. It was a perfect way to conclude their first evening as a family in their shared apartment. It was cozy and very pleasant to all be cuddled up together on the sofa, while Nicky played with Dragon in the armchair. Duke was stretched out on the floor, his eyes fixated on the small kitten as his tail wagged in an eager desire to be friends. Millie finally awoke from her nap and felt confident enough to climb off of Gloria's lap to play. She raced around the room, teasing the dog and finally amusing herself with pouncing on Red's sock-clad foot. Red wriggled her toes playfully to entice the small creature, and Gloria felt a wave of relief wash over her as she questioned why she had ever been afraid that Red would be mad at her over a cat. There was absolutely nothing wrong in their world at this moment. Gloria wouldn't change a thing.

"I guess I need to get going," Nicky announced, about an hour later. Julio paused the movie so that they would not miss anything while she talked.

"Aren't you going to see how it ends?" Red asked.

"No," Nicky shook her head, "Lorna is on her way" She handed Benny his Bearded Dragon.

"I'm going to go put her in her box," Benny told them. He got up and went over to the fridge to pick out the vegetables that Red had set especially aside for his lizard. Then he went into his and Julio's room so that he could settle his new pet in for the night.

Nicky kissed Red goodbye and then went to the door to put on her shoes. She almost hated to leave. She had been enjoying the slight craziness of having such a full family in the small apartment. Until just recently, she and Red had lived here alone and it had been their place. There were so many changes to contend with but Nicky was enjoying the way Red seemed to be simply radiating as of late. Yuri had commented on it to Nicky too. They were both happy for her.

When Benny came back into the room, he glanced inquisitively towards the now vacant armchair before returning to his original spot. Squeezed onto the sofa, the four of them all together. It wasn't out of necessity, but out of a desired closeness. Julio resumed the movie, and they all watched it together as though this was the most natural of things. They were all home, and it wasn't about the apartment itself. It was found in one another. This family was everything.

When the movie ended, Gloria sent her sons off to bed while Red carried the empty popcorn bowls to the sink and did a final clean up of the main living spaces. She liked things to be neat because she couldn't stand the frustration of waking up to a room of clutter. Mornings were for tranquility and quiet. A chance to savour a cup of coffee and prepare an energizing breakfast before greeting the day.

Going into her bedroom, Red changed into her pajamas and glanced around the space inquisitively, as she noted all of the changes. The dresser had now been overtaken by the television, all the items that had, until recently, been set there had been placed in different spots around the room. The book she was currently reading, along with the framed photograph of her sons, had been placed on the nightstand to the right of the bed. Gloria had clearly made a point to claim the space-and the side-that she wanted to be hers. This was entirely fine with Red.

The clothes had all been hung up and the few personal effects that Gloria had brought had been put away. Nicky had done a good job, Red thought to herself. The girl had surprisingly been a big help in assisting Gloria to settle in. Red suspected it was because she was grateful to know that Gloria and her sons were there, so that she wouldn't feel guilty about leaving to go live with Lorna. She hadn't wanted Red to be alone.

The only item still without a place, was the jewellery box that Gloria had left on the bed. "Hmm," Red considered, picking it up and looking around the small room for a place to put it. She went over to the white bookcase and shifted over some trinkets so that she could make room. Satisfied with the spot she had chosen, Red glanced over her shoulder for a sign of Gloria. After ensuring that she was still alone, she lifted the top compartment and took out the jewellery store bag.

Opening the small velveteen box, Red debated about whether or not she wanted to take the ring out of it. She finally decided to leave it in the open case, and placed is carefully down on the pillow on the side of the bed that Gloria had claimed as her own. As the door creaked open and Gloria walked through, Red backed away from the pillow and quickly shut the lid on her jewellery box. Gloria was carrying Millie, while Duke trotted along at her heel and eagerly followed the small animal that he hoped would become his friend. She closed the door behind her, and then gently laid the kitten onto the bed. She didn't object when Duke immediately leapt up to join her.

Gloria's eyes flickered towards the pillow where the ring box was opened and waiting for her notice. Of course, she had already happened upon it accidently that afternoon, but she felt herself melting as though she were seeing it for the first time. "Galina," Gloria said softly, and she almost fell into her as she wrapped her arms around Red's neck in embrace. "That's for me?" she asked, almost shyly. When Red nodded, Gloria smiled and leaned in to nuzzle her neck. Red kissed the dark hair that was still damp from the shower, and stroked Gloria's back through the tank top she was wearing for bed.

"I love it," Gloria whispered, and she kissed her lips.

"Did you even look at it yet?" Red asked. Untangling Gloria's arms from around her neck, she walked over to the bed and lifted the small box. She held it out for her to see. "Do you like it? Do you think it will fit?" she sounded uncertain.

"Oh, love," Gloria panted breathlessly. Blushing slightly she reached out to grip Red's wrist. "It's so perfect." She kissed her cheek. "And I have to be honest-" she nervously giggled. "I found it this afternoon by mistake when I was unpacking."

"Really?" Red looked disappointed. "I wanted to see your face when you first saw it. I knew I should have hidden it better." She stared at Gloria incredulously. "I can't believe you actually had the nerve to just try it on without me."

"I was excited," Gloria admitted sheepishly. "I was just looking through your other things, I didn't know that the ring was going to be in there. I just sort of happened upon it, and once I did, I was really happy." She flashed Red a guilty look. "Are you mad?"

"No," Red shook her head, "I'd have probably done the same thing." She kissed her lightly and then walked over to her side of the bed. "WIll you wear it for me now?" she purred.

"Will you put it on me?" Gloria replied, letting out a sigh of contentment while her eyes glistened with emotion. She picked up the ring and stared admiringly down at the curved interwoven band with its beautiful flashing diamonds. Smiling, she handed the box to Red and crawled into the bed beside her.

Red took the ring out and set the box on her nightstand, out of the way. She ran her fingers over the band that she had chosen with a great amount of care. "I bought this several weeks ago," she said, admiring how the yellow gold glimmered against the red polish of her fingernails. "I was going to give it you when we were on holiday at the lake."

"And then you changed your mind?" Gloria asked teasingly.

"Once you told me that you and the boys wanted to move here, I decided to wait," Red replied. "I wanted to give this to you here, in our home, in our bedroom."

"I'm so happy that I'm here," Gloria whispered.

Red smiled down at the ring in her hand. "I'm so happy that you're here, also," she said. She flexed out her hand to stare down at the promise ring Gloria had have given to her on their first trip together. At the time, she had felt guilty to not immediately be able to bestow Gloria with a ring of her own, but now it seemed better this way. She had had time to reflect on what Gloria's promise of forever meant to her, and knew exactly how she wanted to reciprocate.

"People didn't always treat you the way that you deserved to be treated in the past," Red said sadly. She reached for Gloria's hand and held it gently in her own. Gloria's finger twitched in anticipation, but Red did not place the ring onto it yet.

"There are the obvious ways you were mistreated and hurt," Red said sadly. "That anybody could ever raise a hand to you-and raise a hand to Benny when he tried to intervene-is one of the most despicable things I have ever heard. You didn't deserve any of that and none of it was your fault. I think you know that though…"

"What I'm not sure you fully realize though," she continued, "is that your ex-husband and the boys' father were wrong to. I think you still put a lot of blame on yourself for what happened with your daughters and I wish you could see yourself, and the situation, through my eyes. It doesn't matter if Daniel was a loving father to his girls...if he was making you feel inept as a mother-and I know that you are a good mother-then he was not being a good parent to those children. He did them a disservice because he was selfish and it's no wonder that the girls are confused now. Hopefully, things will be different someday, but even if they aren't, it was not your fault. You really couldn't win, love, and you have to stop blaming yourself for things that weren't in your control."

"Galina, every time it was in my control, I managed to mess it up," Gloria sighed. "If Lourdes was here, she would tell you how stupid I always was."

"We're all stupid sometimes," Red replied, "and you probably less than others. You're smart, and strong, and have a beautiful heart. I'd curse anyone who ever made you feel less than, but now that we're together I hope that I can always make you see just how wonderful you are."

Holding Gloria's shaking hand steady, Red slipped the ring onto her finger and kept her eyes transfixed on Gloria's face. Holding Gloria's hand up, Red brought it to her mouth and kissed it. "I love you so much," she said, and kissed her hand again.

Gloria cupped Red's face with her hand, and moved over in bed so that she was on her knees in front of her. Red kissed her and their lips parted as they both leaned into the embrace, tasting one another and loving without any reserve. The golden bands shone on their fingers, a promise of forever and a symbol of their truth. That they belonged to one another, in a vow so unyielding that they both were completely aware of it as Gloria climbed on top and their tongues continued to dance together.

Tilting her head back, Red helped to lift the tank top over Gloria's head and then leaned forward to kiss her skin, as Gloria arched her back and rested her hands on the pillow. Her eyes were focused on her new ring as she savoured the touch of the person she always should have been with. Every time together was perfect and made Gloria feel beloved and cherished. Red was right, nobody had ever made her feel that way before. Whatever she had known in the past had always left her with feelings of inferiority and objectification. But with Galina, Gloria had never felt used. She felt treasured and protected. Even more, she felt equal. Able to take control and assert when she wanted it, and able to hold back and be savoured when that was what she was desiring. There was no struggle or discussion, it was just a mutual understanding of what one another needed in the present time. They always took care of one another. It was selfless. It was love.


	21. Chapter 22

**This chapter was written by Johanna-002 and me together.**

As summer came to its inevitable end, the start of Autumn brought several new beginnings. Julio had begun taking classes at the local junior college, while working part time to pay for tuition. Benny, who had started his Senior year, was usually at school early in the morning, before the first bell, working with the basketball coach to secure his spot, and some nights he didn't get home until close to seven. He had quite a bit of improvement to make, since he had quit the team a couple of seasons ago, but it looked as if he may actually have a shot at a second chance.

Preparing for the new school year, hadn't been as hands on as it would if the boys were young, but still Gloria and Red felt like they were in overdrive. Turning seventeen had not done much to make Benny more responsible. He still left everything to the last minute. He needed a physical done so he could tryout for the team, shot records had to be updated; a form missing for this; a form needed for that-they couldn't catch a break. However, it was convenient that they independently worked so close to home. With such different schedules, it was a special treat whenever they all happened to be home at the same time.

Julio handled most of his loan applications and other registration paperwork himself, but Red had attended the information session with him, out of curiosity more than because he had really needed her there. Julio valued her input on picking the courses that would be most beneficial to him though, and Red completely enjoyed being included in the experience. Always bookish and driven, she would have loved to have had opportunities like this when she was young. She was still disappointed that none of her sons had ever been inclined to pursue higher education after high school. She'd have loved for at least one of them to go to college.

Checking her phone, Gloria sighed at the "I might be late tonight," message from Red. While it wasn't a huge surprise, she'd been working harder and longer than ever, Gloria had been wishful that they'd get a little alone time since she had been able to get off earlier than expected. But now knowing her _wife_ would be absent, and that she'd be left to her own devices until the boys got home, the crisp, October afternoon, suddenly seemed much colder and damp then it had been.

Turning her head up toward the sky, she scoffed at the storm that roared in response. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, and furiously moved her palms up and down in an effort to keep warm. Keeping her head ducked against the wind, she shivered. She had been in such a rush getting out the front door that morning, running late, like she often was, she had neglected to grab more than just a cardigan.

 _Well,_ she reasoned with herself, _as long as Red isn't going to be home, I could be productive, start dinner._ She laughed at her own ridiculousness. In actuality, all she wanted to do was change into her pajamas and snuggle in front of the television with her kitten.

Turning onto her street, she began to pick up the pace. Reaching the steps of their front porch, she ran up them two at a time. Key already in hand, she pushed herself anxiously against the door and breathed a sigh of relief when she was immediately greeted by the warmth of their home.

"Kitty, kitty," Gloria crooned, rubbing her hands together as she kicked the front door closed with her foot. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, summoning the feisty feline.

"Meow" Millie sprung before her in greeting.

Rubbing herself around Gloria's legs, she arched her back highly and nuzzled her head against her calf lovingly. Loyal to her mistress, she always came to the door to stay hello when Gloria arrived. Unlike Duke, who was curled up on the armchair. He had barely even lifted his lazy head, before collapsing back down into a pathetic mess.

"Did you miss me?" Gloria asked Millie softly. "Hmm? I missed you, tiny girl." She scooped Millie into her arms and rubbed her cheek against her soft fur. Kicking off the running shoes she had worn home from the store, she tossed her bag carelessly onto the couch before collapsing down next to it. "I'm tired, Millie," she told her cat as she scratched behind her ear. "And I'm freezing…" she told her seriously. The small feline meowed in response. "Yea," Gloria said. "I didn't expect you to understand, you have this gorgeous coat," she stroked her hand down her back and smiled. "But it's okay, Red had no sympathy for me either."

Reaching for the remote, that had been abandoned on the coffee table, she powered on the television and began to mindlessly flip through the channels. "No," she said as she skipped over an episode of Judge Judy. "No," an episode of Rachael Ray. "Okay…" she studied the TV, sizing up an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. "Maybe…" Turning the volume up, she relaxed against the back of the sofa and smiled down at the sleeping kitty on her chest. Continuing to stroke Millie softly, she kicked her legs up on the coffee table and let out a sigh of contentment.

It felt like only half a second later, when she heard the shrill ringing of her cell phone. "Damn it," she cursed. Reaching over for her purse, careful not to disturb Millie in the process, she blindly fumbled with locating the annoying device. Fully expecting it to be one of the boys or Red, she answered unceremoniously. "Yea?" Only after the words left her mouth, did she realize that it could be her boss calling to ask her to work over time.

"Gloria?"

Frowning, Gloria pulled the phone away from her ear and gasped in surprise at the caller ID. Feelings of both panic and joy intermingled within her. "Hello?" Gloria said breathlessly. "Valentina?" She shook her head at how pathetic she sounded. She hugged Millie close to her chest and forced herself to calm down. She had been relentless in reaching out to her girls after Lourdes' funeral, but she had never been successful in getting them to call her back.

"Yea," Valentina said awkwardly. "Are you at work?" she asked. "I didn't mean to bother you-"

"No, no…" Gloria shushed her. " I just got home. How are you?" she asked sincerely. "I'm so happy you called."

On the other end of the line, Valentina cleared her throat. "Yea, I'm okay." She sounded more uncomfortable than nervous. "How are you?"

"Fine, good," Gloria said a little enthusiastically. "Better now, hearing your voice." There was a momentary pause, and she felt her heart clench painfully at the prospect of being hung up on. "How is your sister?" she asked. "I haven't heard from either of you since the funeral… is she okay?"

"We're both fine," Valentina said tensely.

Gloria nodded and nervously licked her lips. "Good… good."

"Well, look," Valentina replied, ignoring her. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, alright? I actually had a reason for calling. I spoke with Lida a few days ago and she invited Carmen and I to her baby shower-girl's day, or whatever you want to call it."

"Lida invited you?" Gloria's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Is that a problem?" Valentina asked tightly.

"No, of course not," Gloria said immediately. "I'm just surprised," she trailed off. "I was under the impression that it was a surprise party. How did she find out?"

"I don't know," Valentina answered, "she said her mother-in-law told her about it...wanted to know who to invite for her or something."

"Ah, that explains in," Gloria rolled her eyes. A smile touched her lips at the thought of Red and she felt a wave of comfort flood through her. "The woman couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it."

"Who?" Valentina sounded confused. "Lida?"

"No, Galina," Gloria replied. She shook her head in an attempt to dispel all thoughts of her wife. "Lida's mother-in-law." Pulling her knees up beneath her, she adjusted Millie in her arms and glanced down at her innocent frame fondly. "Are you going to come?" she asked, "is your sister?"

"I'd like to," said Valentina. "It's the reason I called you. Lida told me that you'll be there and I just want to clear the air, so to speak. I don't want it to be uncomfortable for either of us."

"Val…" Gloria breathed. "All I have ever wanted was for you and your sister to pick up a phone and call me, or at the very least, accept my calls. I miss you two more than I'll ever be able to put into words and I-"

"See," Valentina said flatly, "This… this right here… this is what I don't want." She was not at all convinced by her mother's words. "I want to avoid this situation all together. I don't want you getting emotional and trying to slap a band-aid on us, and expect it to magically fix everything."

"I understand…" Gloria shut her eyes. "If you don't want to see me, I won't go. You shouldn't miss out on your friend's baby shower. Lida wants you and Carmen there."

"Yea, well… she wants you there too, from what I could gather," Valentina let out a little laugh. "Lida seems very fond of you, the way she was rambling on… well, she always got over enthusiastic about things. Carmen and I used to tease her about how much she sucked up to Daddy."

Gloria smiled sadly. "I can see that. Sometimes she tries too hard."

"She was always teacher's pet too," Valentina said, and Gloria knew her daughter had just rolled her eyes. "Wasn't even that great at school but was usually pretty adored anyway."

"You were always good at school though," Gloria said, a note of pride in her voice. "I always knew that you were going to do great things with your life. You just had a drive in you that I didn't have-but I always admired it in you."

There was a pause. "Thank you," Valentina said softly. "That's nice of you to say. And I guess I am doing okay…."

"From what you told me the last time we talked, you're doing better than okay," Gloria replied. "You're a teacher. It doesn't surprise me, but it makes me proud all the same."

"Yeah, it's good," Valentina agreed slowly. She hesitated and then added, "and it's pretty convenient to teach at the same school that Gabby attends."

"She's in kindergarten?" asked Gloria.

"She started this September," Valentina replied softly.

"How does she like it?" Gloria pinched nervously at her bottom lip.

"Loves it," Valentina replied. "She's very smart, very beautiful."

Gloria sighed, and her eyes fell closed mournfully. "Val," she knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't stop herself from pleading, "I really would like to meet her."

"I know you would." Valentina inhaled a large breath before slowly releasing it, "But, like….Gloria, you can't just put that on me. Not yet."

"Valentina-"

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just don't want to include my daughter in this until I know that things will be okay."

"It would be okay," Gloria said quietly. "I just want a chance-"

"It's not about what you want," Valentina sighed. "It's about what is best for her… for me." She inhaled another deep breath. "But besides that, I need to talk with my husband, and with Daddy, first."

Gloria shook her head and pinched at the bridge of her nose. "Alright-"

"There's just a lot going on right now, you know?" Valentina attempted to pacify her. " So maybe we'll just see one another at Lida's party and then decide where to go from there."

"Whatever you say," Gloria said quietly. "I'll do whatever you need."

"I'm not trying to hurt your feelings," Valentina said uncomfortably, "but we can't just forget the past."

"No, we can't," Gloria said coolly, "but maybe I could help you understand the past a little better. You've only heard one side, after all."

"Well you weren't really around for us to get yours, were you?" Valentina asked coldly.

Gloria resisted the temptation to roll her eyes. Her girl could be so damn frustrating at times. _Just like her father_ , she thought bitterly. "I'm around now," she said defensively, "and I would like-"

"Sometimes, you just have to let it go," Valentina said tiredly. "We don't have to do this. Okay? This isn't what I want. Besides that, Gloria, your actions, the evidence-it speaks for itself. I mean, you've spent the past eight years in prison, and before that, you abandoned two kids, and then ran off to have two more that you couldn't even take care of. What position could you possibly take to make yourself look like the martyr?"

Gloria let out a little sound of anguish, "You sound just like your father."

"Well am I wrong?" Valentina asked shortly, "is any of what I just said not true?"

"I've made mistakes," Gloria admitted, "and I've paid the highest price imaginable. I lost you and your sister, and I lost eight years with your brothers, but whatever you've heard to the contrary, I did not abandon you."

"Well, what would you call a mother who just disappeared?" Valentina asked shortly.

"It's more than that," Gloria said sadly. "I was young, Valentina. So young… and I was scared. I didn't have help the way your father did. I didn't know how to properly navigate through our complicated legal system and fight for my rights." She tucked a piece of hair back behind her ears before continuing. "It's not like your father made things easy for me, sweetie. I tried-"

"Please. I just… I don't want to hear it-" Valentina let out a long noise of frustration. Gloria waited for her to continue. Over the phone she could hear her daughter take a deep breath. "You always do this. You always make yourself the victim, and you're not. I didn't call to argue, or to fight with you… but, you just frustrate me so damn much! You make me say these things that I don't want to say, and please, I'm not trying to be mean…."

"You're not mean," Gloria said, massaging her fingers into the left side of her temple. "You're hurt…" she wanted to understand things from Valentina's point of view, but it was hard when from every angle she was being pinned as some monster who ruined her life. "I'm sorry that I hurt you," she said sincerely. "It was never ever my intention." Wiping at the tears that fell unbidden from her eyes, she tried to ignore just how hollow and hurt she was feeling inside. Every word Valentina spoke against her was like a stab in her heart.

She heard the front door open and turned hopefully towards it, praying to see Red coming through. She needed to be reminded that she wasn't as awful a person, as awful a mother, as her ex-husband had always said she was. Her face fell in disappointment when Nicky walked in.

Humming a cheerful tune to herself, Nicky broke into an expressive smile as she skipped over to jump on the couch next to Gloria. Oblivious to the pain in her eyes, Nicky tucked her feet up beneath her and reached her hand out for the phone. "Are you talking to Ma?" she slurred, "Let me talk to her. I need to tell her something veeeeerrry important."

Waving her off, Gloria twisted so that she was facing forward. Bent over at the waist, elbows on her knees, she nodded along to Valentina as she spoke. She was much calmer than she had been a few moments earlier, rambling about having to go soon to make dinner.

Nicky crawled up on her knees and reached for the phone once more. "Is it Ma?" she asked again. "I promise I'll be quick, just let me talk-"

" _Qué chingados!_ What the fuck," Gloria hissed under her breath. "Get off me!" she snapped. She stood up off of the couch and walked over to stand by the kitchen sink.

"What, are you gonna play hard to get?" Nicky called, but Gloria only waved a hand at her.

"What's going on over there?" Valentina asked. "Who was that?"

"Nicky," Gloria said dismissively, "but never mind...what were you saying?"

"Nothing," Valentina replied, seeming annoyed by the interruption. "I should probably get going anyway, my husband will be home soon. I should get started on dinner, but I will see you at Lida's party. Maybe we'll have a good time."

"Yeah," Gloria said softly, as she glared sternly at the back of Nicky's head. "I think it will be good for us. I mean, I'd do anything to spend time with you two girls."

"You mean that?" Valentina asked.

"I miss you every single day," Gloria told her. "I hate the way we are, and I'd do anything to change it. But it is hard to figure out how I'm supposed to do that, when you won't even talk to me."

"Well, I'm talking to you right now," Valentina replied.

"You are," Gloria agreed, "and I'm so glad you called. I hope you will again soon... or at least, answer my call," she said knowingly.

"You're right," Valentina said agreeably. She paused momentarily, and then cleared her throat. "Hey, look, before you go, there is something that I was sort of curious about," she cleared her throat a second time. "I feel awkward for asking, but what exactly is going on between you and Lida's mother-in-law?"

"Galina?" Gloria asked.

"Right," Valentina agreed. "Galina," she cleared her throat once more. "It's just… Lida said some things and they made me wonder… you're just friends, right?"

"We live together," Gloria responded calmly. "She's my partner."

"So you're gay?" Valentina asked bluntly. "Daddy said it wouldn't have surprised him to learn you turned out that way."

Gloria rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. She clenched a tight palm full of tresses and shook her head. "I wish you wouldn't speak about me to your father so much," she said, with a touch of irritation. "It's none of his business."

"We're close," Valentina said defensively. "Life would have been a lot harder for me if I didn't have at least one parent that I could talk to."

"You can talk to me," Gloria reminded her. "And especially when it's something you want to know about me, I'd appreciate it if you asked me directly-like you're doing now."

"I wasn't trying to make this a thing," Valentina told her, "I just didn't want to walk into Lida's party and get blindsided by something... really awkward," she struggled for the proper words.

"It won't be awkward," Gloria said calmly. "It's fine."

"If you say so," Valentina muttered. She sighed softly, "I really should get going..."

"If you want to call me back tonight when you have more time, you can," Gloria said, sounding hopeful.

"Not tonight," Valentina said quickly. "But I'll be in touch. And I'll see you at the party."

"Okay," Gloria said softly. "Bye for now, love."

"Goodbye."

Gloria turned off her phone and then shuffled back to the couch where Nicky was sprawled out watching the channel she had turned on. "What the hell was that about?" Gloria snapped. "A five-year-old knows better than to interrupt somebody who is talking on the phone."

"I told you I needed to talk to her," Nicky slurred. "You wouldn't let me...and it was important."

"It wasn't her!" Gloria said irritatingly. "I don't know why you assumed it was. She's at work, she's busy."

"I thought it was her because you don't have any friends. You don't talk to people." Nicky let out a hiccup and laughed loudly. "Sorry, sorry, sorry…" she jeered. "That wasn't true. I'm your friend. I could even be your best friend if you wanted…"

"I don't want," Gloria said flatly. "What's the matter with you?"

"According to Marka, practically everything," Nicky said brightly. "And if you're talking to Lorna, she'd probably say the same thing."

"Did you two have a fight or something?" Gloria asked boredly. "Is that why you're over here?"

"I came over because I needed some love and Lorna won't be nice to me," Nicky said.

"Well, I'm afraid you're out of luck then," Gloria picked at a fingernail. "I already told you that Red isn't here and I'm not feeling particularly lovable at the moment."

Nicky smirked, "do you ever?" She flipped onto her side to look at her. "If you weren't talking to Ma, then who were you talking to? A secret admirer?"

Gloria rolled her eyes. "My daughter," she said monotonously. "First chance I get to actually have a conversation with her, and you come bouncing in like a headless idiot."

Nicky frowned at her, "would a headless idiot bounce? They'd be headless… would they even be alive?"

"Nicky," Gloria held up her hand, stopping her. "Why the hell aren't you in school? Your mother will be home soon and she's not gonna be very happy to see you sprawled out on her couch like a bum, and if her boss was there today, breathing down her neck like he always is, she might just be mad enough to kick your ass herself. "

"Ah," Nicky waved her away. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" Toeing off her shoes, she watched as they dropped to the ground, particles of mud flying about. "Besides, I took a personal day," she slurred. "She'll understand. She used to take them for you all the time."

"What did you do that for?" Gloria rolled her eyes. "To fight with Lorna about something petty? To interrupt my peaceful afternoon the one day I get out of work early?"

"You sure don't look peaceful," Nicky commented. "You look like you need to get f**ked really badly or maybe you just need a drink. We can have one together!"

"You're drinking now?" Gloria looked entirely unimpressed. "I thought you were acting even weirder than usual. What's the occasion?"

"I'm drowning my sorrows," Nicky exclaimed dramatically. She giggled. "First I drowned them with wine...which I know always sounds appealing, but it wasn't. I had to choke the stuff down. But then I had a couple of beers with Alex, and a shot of rye, and a little whiskey. Then I came here."

"Lucky me," Gloria sighed. "Whatever happened to sobriety?"

"Meh, it's overrated," Nicky said casually. "Sometimes you just need to chill...you know? Have something to take the edge off…"

"A glass of wine is taking the edge off," Gloria said moodily. "What you just did is called self-destruction."

"You never get drunk?" Nicky asked.

"I'm not a recovering addict," Gloria pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Recovering," Nicky slurred the word out, enunciating every syllable. "Why can't I just be better?"

"Because there's too much wrong with you," said Gloria.

"You're so mean," Nicky pouted, "why you gotta be so mean? I'm nice to you. I asked you to be my best friend…"

Just then the door opened and in walked in Julio and Benny. "Hey, guys!" Nicky greeted enthusiastically. "I missed you!"

Julio raised his brows at her in question. "Weren't you just here last night?"

"And the night before?" Benny added.

"Never mind that," Nicky waved her hands and shook her head. "We've got a problem... a big one. I need your help."

Julio glanced at his mother who had simply shook her head in irritation. Benny, dropped his book bag near the door. "What do you need?" he asked seriously.

"We need to fix your mom," Nicky explained. She pointed a finger in Gloria's face which Gloria swiped away. "You see," she held her finger up again. "You see this… how mean she is."

"I know," Benny said immediately, earning himself a glare from Gloria. "But that's just her face."

Nicky shook her head no and Benny squinted at her in confusion. "what'd she do to you?" he asked.

"She won't be my friend," Nicky told him, shaking her head rapidly, "she said I'm destroying things."

"I said you're on a path of self-destruction," Gloria retorted. "But if you throw up on anything in here, you better be worried about me destroying you."

"See?" Nicky asked Benny. "I think it's the Latin… and all that hot sauce she puts on her food… so mean."

"Boys," Gloria said tiredly. "Go to room, please." She dismissed them with a wave of her hand. "I'll come get you in a few minutes. Galina will be home soon and she can deal with Nicky then."

Nicky scoffed. "Have you ever thought that maybe this is why your daughters are so upset?" she asked. "Did you just order them to their rooms all the time? The boys are adults-"

"They're my kids," Gloria said firmly. "If you ever have kids, maybe you'll feel differently about exposing them to drunks."

"It's not like your kids are innocent angels that have never drank before," Nicky slurred, "they have. They were drunk here before and Red took care of them. Benny had weed in his pocket-"

"Nicky, stop it!" Gloria said sternly. "We are not talking about them, alright? We're talking about you. You're a grown woman. Why don't you start acting like one?"

"God, cut me a break!" Nicky hissed. "This is the first time… in _forever_ and can you blame me? I just needed a break. It's not like I shot up! Jesus, Don't overreact!"

Gloria glared at her angrily. "You worried about someone overreacting?" she angrily pointed toward the front door, "She's about to walk through these doors any minute and I'm not covering for you. Sink or swim, Nicky, but you're in your thirties. You know better. It's not even…" she looked at her watch. "It's barely 5:30, and you're so wasted I doubt you can even stand properly."

Nicky opened her mouth to respond but got distracted when she heard the sound of the door opening. Red walked in looking tired, her hair damp. It looked as if she had got caught in the rain walking home. "Mommy!" Nicky cried, she jumped up to reach her before Gloria could intervene. She hurried over to the door, and bumped into the lamp on her way. It fell to the floor but Nicky didn't cease.

Before Red had even managed to slip her shoes off, Nicky had thrown herself into her arms, nearly knocking her off balance. "Did you miss me?" she asked girlishly.

"You were here yesterday…" Red said. She glanced over Nicky's shoulder at Gloria, with a look of utter confusion on her face. Gloria walked over to pick up the knocked over lamp. She met Red's gaze and shook her head in exasperation.

"Are you alright?" Red asked, turning her attention back to Nicky.

"I will be once you tell Gloria to stop nagging me," Nicky slurred. She kissed her cheek and laid her head back against her shoulder.

Red stumbled back at the strong scent of alcohol that wafted from Nicky's breath.

"She's being so judgemental," Nicky compalined. "I've had a hard day, Ma."

Gloria shook her head as she met Red's eyes. "And it's about to get harder," she baited the younger woman. "But go ahead. Why don't you tell your mother what you were just telling me. I'm sure she'd love to hear it."

"And maybe you should mind your own business," Nicky turned to look at Gloria.

"Stop it, both of you," Red ordered.

Nicky smirked, "she started it. She wants us to argue, Ma. She even said-"

Oh, give it a rest, Nicky!" Red exclaimed as she rubbed a tired hand over her face. "I can smell the alcohol on you. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I wanted to get drunk," Nicky said calmly.

"Why?" Red asked worriedly.

"Because life is hard," Nicky sighed. "So very hard...and nobody prepares you for it."

"What are you talking about?" Red asked.

"What does it matter?" Gloria rolled her eyes, "she's completely wasted, Red."

"Some people do their best thinking under the influence," Nicky told them, "because then you don't have any inhibitions stopping you. Alcohol is good for you on occasion."

"Oh," Red nodded her head sarcastically. "Did they teach you that in rehab, Nicky?"

"Or maybe at NYU where you're supposed to be right now?" Gloria added.

"I went to rehab for heroin," Nicky said, as if it mattered, "not for alcohol. So technically, I'm still in the clear and you both can chill out."

"You went to rehab because you're an addict," Red looked distressed. "And you're not supposed to be drinking. It's a slippery slope, Nicky. I thought you were doing alright…"

"Oh god," Nicky took a deep breath. "I would have just gone home to Lorna if I had known you were going to be like this."

"Like what?" Red asked. "Worried about you?"

"You're blowing this way out of proportion," Nicky said. She glanced at Gloria. "And I also lied. I didn't have any whiskey...I almost did, but Alex said she had to get home to Piper."

"So what?" said Gloria indifferently. "You still had wine, a couple of beers, and a shot of rye…"

"Well, look who's keeping score," said Nicky in annoyance.

"Alright," Red held up a hand to silence her. She looked at Nicky with fury etched in every line of her face. "Just, go take a shower Nicky. A long one."

"A cold one," Gloria added.

"Fine," Nicky relented, "but only because I spilled whiskey on myself."

"You just said you didn't have any whiskey," Red said in frustration, but then she shook her head and brought her fist up to her lips. "What the hell happened, Gloria?" she asked. "Why did she do that?"

"Putting the pieces together, I'd say that she and Lorna had a fight of some sort and Nicky went out and got drunk with Alex," Gloria said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Alex," Red growled, looking angry. "I'm going to have a talk with that girl..."

"It's not her fault," Gloria reminded her. "Nicky makes her own decisions...albeit sometimes very bad ones."

"I wonder what the fight was about," said Red, "maybe I should give Lorna a call."

"Just stay out of it," Gloria pleaded. "It's not really your business. Just wait for her to sober up and then let her deal with it."

"Maybe this is all just too much for her," Red said anxiously. "University, them moving in together, leaving me...that's a lot. What if it's pushing her back towards drugs?"

"At least she picked a different vice this time," Gloria said lightly.

"I'm serious," Red said coldly.

"I know you are, love," said Gloria. "But it's probably just an isolated incident."

"I hope so," said Red. "God, Gloria," she breathed, scraping her hair out of her face. "What are we going to do?" she asked concernedly. She shook her head and ran her hand over her mouth. "I can't let her continue on like this."

"Do you think it will?" Gloria asked. She shrugged carelessly before seating herself on the edge of the sofa. She was suddenly too tired to deal with this. "I don't know Galina…" she said after a brief pause. Her elbows on her knees, she turned her head up to look her in the eyes. "I've never really dealt with these kinds of things," she admitted honestly. "I mean Arturo…" she rolled her eyes. She had even less energy to think about him. "He drank, but he didn't," she shook her head, remembering how volatile he could be. " I don't know."

Red, unaware of Gloria's mental thoughts, scratched distractedly at the inside of her wrist. "She could move back in…" she suggested. "We could-"

Gloria had too keep from rolling her eyes. " Love," she sighed softly. "Galina, where would we put her?" she asked reasonably. "We don't have the room. We barely have the room for the four of us." She pointed at the wall behind her. "We fight over the bathroom, the living room. The only reason no one fights over the kitchen is because without you, we'd all starve to death."

"Then Nicky can sleep in the kitchen," Red said matter-of-factly. She waved away the disapproving look Gloria gave her in response. "But I'm serious, Gloria. We need to figure out something. She's my daughter…" she pleaded. "What would you do if she were yours?

"Well, for starters," Gloria said rationally, "I'd have kicked her ass."

Red rubbed at her temples, and released a breath of frustration. "You're not helping," she complained.

"Honey," Gloria rose to her feet. "She's a grown woman," she said simply. "You can't keep trying to save her. She has to make that choice on her own." She held a hand up before Red could interrupt her. Moving to join her near the entryway of the hallway, she leaned against the doorway. "Now… do I think this is one time thing?" she asked, "Yeah… I do. I don't think we really need to worry."

Red stared at her for a time, mimicking the way she leaned against the doorway. Everything just felt so wrong and out of place. She didn't understand how Gloria wasn't seeing things through her perspective. This wasn't something she could just sweep under the rug, and pretend didn't happen. Nicky's recovery was important to her, and even the tiniest hazards could have the biggest consequences.

"Galina…" Gloria focused her attention downward as she scratched the top of her foot with the other. "I think I'm going to take the boys out for a bit…" she said quietly. She could feel Red's eyes narrow and glare at her and she began to step on her foot painfully. "It's just…I," she shrugged, "I just need some air." It felt like everything at once was suddenly hitting her at full force, and she wanted a minute to catch her breath.

"Yeah," Red scoffed. She shook her head, "okay… if that's what _you_ need."

"Oh, come on," Gloria sighed in frustration as her head rolled back. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?" she snapped. "Look if you-" she stopped when she noticed Gloria jump in response. She immediately felt a rush of guilt and held a hand in surrender. "I don't want to argue with you," she said quietly. "It's not your fault."

"It's not your fault either," Gloria whispered softly. Taking a step toward her, she gently took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "I'm not mad at you," she promised. "Nicky is a recovering addict. She's probably going to have slip ups from time to time," she forced herself to smile. "I don't want you to do this on your own. Not when you don't have to." She briefly thought to her daughters, of the conversation she had with Valentina. "It's just been a long day," she whispered, "and I can't be around this right now. I feel like I might be more help to you after I've had a minute. It's just… It's overwhelming"

"You're right…" Red's eyes glazed with sadness and Gloria felt a pang of guilt twist in her heart. "I don't think it's a good idea either," she said honestly. "I don't want the boys seeing Nicky like this and you shouldn't have to deal-"

"No," Gloria cut her off. "That's not what I meant." They stared at one another for a time. Red's eyes fluttering closed as they listened to Nicky curse and fumble around the bathroom. Pulling her close, Gloria wrapped her arms around her tightly. She kissed her temple and exhaled a deep breath against her ear. "I'm not running," she promised. "God knows Benny's given you more than enough reason to run over the few years," she smiled as she felt Red's arms tighten around her.

They could hear Nicky knock something over and the sound of water running as she turned the shower on. Red sighed loudly against her chest. She pulled back slowly, and nodded toward the closed bathroom door. "I should check on her…" she whispered. Gloria's hand wrapped around her chin and she kissed her passionately. Red smiled at her softly as they pulled apart. "Don't stay gone too long…"

"I won't," Gloria reassured her, brushing her lips again. "Take care of her, okay? I'm gonna take them to a movie or something…"

Nodding, Red stepped back and headed into the bathroom to help Nicky. Gloria waited until the door was closed before she collapsed back against the wall. Running her hand through her hair she clenched the top of her roots in irritation. This wasn't how today was supposed to go. Releasing her hair, her hand dropped to her abdomen and she rubbed soothingly at the tension that had coiled tightly within her. The stress from her phone call with Valentina, cumulated with the stress of dealing with Nicky- she was getting too old for this.

Rapping on the closed door of her sons room, she relaxed her head against the cool wood of the door frame, as she waited for them to answer. If she was being honest, she didn't even have the strength to leave the house, but the thought of having to listen to Nicky as she belligerently argued back and forth with Red was something she had even less patience for.

"Hey, guys," she said as Benny opened the door. "Put shoes on, grab a jacket."

"Where are we going?"

She blinked at him numbly. "Did I say we're playing a game of 100-questions, or did I tell you to get dressed?" she asked, cursing herself silently for how angry she sounded. With a shake of her head, she tried to dispel the gloomy cloud that was ghosting over her. "We'll talk about it in the car," she said calmly. "Get dressed."


	22. Chapter 23

**Thank you for the reviews. This chapters was written by Johanna-002 and me together.**

"You're wasting the water," Red said stiffly. Nicky was sitting on the closed toilet seat, holding her head in her hands.

"I think," she raised her head to look at Red with glossy eyes. "I think that I am beginning to feel it."

"Good," Red retorted, "I hope it hurts." Reaching for Nicky's hands, she pulled her up to a standing position. She maneuvered her the few steps to the sink and held her in place as she worked to help her disrobe. "Come on, Nicky," she said as she pulled her shirt over her head. "You have to help me. Take your clothes off and hop into the shower before you pass out."

"Are you going to turn the water cold on me?" Nicky asked. "Gloria's insane if she thinks-"

"It's just a normal shower," Red replied tiredly. Cupping her hands around Nicky's face, she stroked a thick tress of hair behind her ear. "You're a mess, kid," she said affectionately. Gesturing for her to get into the tub, she held back the curtain and offered her hand to help her step in. "Hopefully this will relax you so that you can sleep it off, and maybe tomorrow we can pretend like this never happened."

"Let's wait and see what the hangover is like," Nicky joked weakly.

Red grumbled some choice words under her breath and arched her back against the bathroom counter. She used the ledge to dig deep into her lower back, rubbing out the soreness that persisted no matter what she did. Standing on her feet all day was hell, and when her boss was hovering around she didn't feel like she could sit down to rest. She didn't like to admit that she wasn't as young as she used to be. She toughed everything out and then she paid the price for it later.

"What happened with Lorna today, Nicky?" Red asked directly.

"It's fine," Nicky said with a disbelieving sigh. She poked her head out from behind the shower curtain so that she could talk to Red face to face. "I just needed a break today. Sometimes she's too much."

"Only sometimes?" Red asked sarcastically.

"Alright, most of the time," Nicky conceded. She closed the shower curtain and dunked her head underneath the water. "It's just, I'm usually more equipped to handle her when she gets funny. But not today...I have my own stuff too."

"Maybe you should move home for a bit," Red said bluntly. "Then I could help you more."

"And what? Sleep at the foot of your and Gloria's bed like a dog?" Nicky laughed. Her foot slid out and she grabbed the wall to steady herself so she wouldn't fall.

"Careful!" Red cried.

"I'm good," Nicky poked her head back around the curtain again.

Red sighed. "If you move home we'd find room for you," she said calmly. "We could get a pull out sofa for the living room...or I'll bet we could squeeze a second bed into our room if I got rid of my bookcases and moved some things around."

"Ha!" Nicky scoffed, "Gloria would love that! You know, you should probably run these schemes of yours by her...so she can tell you that your crazy."

"It would just be a temporary solution, until we could look at moving to a bigger place," Red continued as though Nicky hadn't spoken.

"No, Ma," Nicky said quietly. "I want to go home to Lorna."

"But you weren't drinking until you moved in with her," Red said anxiously. "I can't let you put yourself into a situation that is going to harm you."

"It's not Lorna's fault, Ma," Nicky said, slurring her words together in drunken song. "It's just...life in general. I don't know, I guess she was just sort of the last straw today." She rustled the curtain and water sprayed out onto the floor. Red picked up a towel and bent down to wipe it up.

"You're talking in riddles, Nicky," Red said sharply. "How can I help you if I don't know exactly what happened?"

"You're talking to a drunk, naked girl," Nicky retorted. "I dunno how much clarity you can expect from me right now."

"FIne," Red grumbled. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. Gloria thought this was a momentary lapse, Nicky kept making light of it. Red couldn't figure out if she was being overdramatic about what had transpired, or if she was being appropriately cautious. There was nothing she wouldn't do for Nicky. The girl who simultaneously made her smile and scared the hell out of her more than anyone else she had ever known.

There was no distinguishment from Nicky and her boys-none whatsoever. That Nicky was her daughter was just a matter of fact and Red would do anything she could to keep her safe. She'd always worry and she'd always be ready to strike if she felt there was any looming threat to her sobriety and safety. Nicky's addiction was something Red was always on alert for, and all she wanted right now was to keep her close and within her sight.

"Are you done?" Red asked, a few minutes later.

"Almost," Nicky replied. "Do you think Gloria is going to care that I used her loofah?"

"Most definitely," Red said wryly.

"I borrowed her shampoo too," Nicky replied, "I like the smell."

"I'll be sure to tell her," Red rolled her eyes, "now will you hurry up?"

"Coming, coming," Nicky sung. She switched off the shower and then nearly stumbled to the floor when she stepped out of the tub. Red reached out a hand to steady her.

"You take such good care of me, Ma," Nicky exclaimed jovially.

"I thought these days were behind us" Red said grimly. She helped Nicky wrap the towel around herself and then ushered her across the hall into her bedroom.

"Are you mad at me?" Nicky asked, falling unceremoniously onto the bed. "I don't want you to be angry. And I don't want you to worry either. I'm sorry, okay? Please don't be mad...you love me!" She giggled girlishly, watching Red through glazed eyes to see if she could coax a smile out of her. But Red just turned away.

She went to the closet and pulled out a cotton nightshirt of Gloria's. "Put this on," she said, tossing it onto the bed. Nicky reached for it and struggled to find the hole to put her head through. Red simply watched her, not feeling at all inclined to offer any more assistance that she already had. She had had a bad taste in her mouth ever since she had realized what her daughter had done. The waves of nausea in her stomach made Red feel as though she were the one who had consumed all that alcohol. She couldn't stop herself from worrying.

"What do you wanna do now?" Nicky asked. Her eyes were unfocused and she spawled diagonally across the bed, the front of the nightshirt displayed on her back. She was wearing it the wrong way, but it didn't seem to matter.

"I don't want to do anything," Red said flatly. "I just want you to sober up." Her mouth twisted and nobody could have ignored the look of desperation in her eyes as they shifted anxiously side to side and focused on Nicky. She felt completely helpless and she wished Gloria hadn't left her. It felt like one of her biggest fears was threatening to overturn the good life she now had. She needed Nicky to be okay.

"Why you so sad, Ma?" Nicky sighed loudly. "I told you already that it's not going to happen again. I just needed something today."

"And you'll want something again the next time something you don't like happens," Red replied. "This is dangerous, Nicky."

"What's life without a little risk?" Nicky slurred.

"I'm serious Nicky!" Red said anxiously.

"And I'm drunk," Nicky reminded her, "so it's probably not the best time to be giving me a lecture. I can't take anything serious right now. I'm seeing two of you."

"Of forget it," Red said, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I can't do anything with you when you're like this. So why don't you sleep the rest of this off and then come find me?"

"Or we could go out?" Nicky suggested. "Have some fun, just you and me?"

"No," Red said flatly.

"Why not?" asked Nicky, a frown on her face.

"Because you're drunk," Red answered, "the last thing I feel like doing is having fun with you. Gloria and the boys even left because they didn't want to be around this right now! I mean, who would?"

"God, you're all so uptight!" Nicky moaned, and she buried her face into the mattress.

"About this? Yes," Red said shortly. She walked over to the dresser and picked up the television remote. She tossed it on the bed next to Nicky. "If you don't feel like sleeping then just watch tv," she said. "I don't want to do this right now….but rest assured, you and I are going to have a very long talk once you're back to normal.

Nicky lifted her face from the mattress just long enough to glare at her mother. Then she sunk back down into the bed. Red gave her a stony look in return before turning on her heel to walk out of the room. The small part of her that wasn't wracked with worry, was currently bubbling with anger. She felt very close to her explosive point and knew she needed to be as far away from Nicky as she could, for her own safety.

Nicky might have thought it was something to laugh about, but she couldn't find the humor in it. After years of successfully keeping Nicky clean and sober, the girl was willing to risk everything she had worked so hard for, for a couple of drinks with Alex? She couldn't believe this was happening

She went back into the kitchen and thought about reheating some of the leftovers from the night before, but after opening the fridge she decided she wasn't hungry. She sat down on the sofa and flipped on the television. Nagging guilt was digging at her for walking away from Nicky, but she honestly couldn't be around her right now. She didn't want to admit it, but she was taking Nicky's drunkenness personally. Nicky coming over to her house and making a mockery of her sobriety felt like a slap in the face.

Staring blankly at the screen, the news droned on with Red barely paying attention. She felt as if she was in a daze and it wasn't until a loud song rudely overtook the room that she was jolted to alert. Jumping at the sound, Red immediately recognized it as the ringtone for Nicky's cell phone. She looked around for Nicky's purse and spotted it tossed carelessly onto the boot rack by the front door. Red went to pick up the bag and retrieve the phone. She intended to just silence it but when she saw that it was Lorna, Red didn't hesitate before answering the call and bringing the phone to her ear.

"Baby? Sweetie?" Lorna crooned into the phone.

"It's Red, Nicky's asleep," Red informed her.

"Oh," Lorna said lightly. "I was just trying to find out where she was. She didn't respond to any of my text messages."

"That's because she's drunk," Red said shortly. "She was out on a bender with Alex all afternoon. You didn't know anything about this?"

"No," Lorna sounded astonished. "No, I knew she was upset, but I didn't think she would do that."

"Do you know if she has drank any other time besides today?" Red asked curtly. "It's important."

"I don't think so," Lorna said slowly. "I don't think that she has. Never in front of me anyway. It probably was just because of today."

"What _happened_ today?" Red asked, closing her eyes and trying to summon every bit of patience that she could."

"I'm not even entirely sure," Lorna said honestly. "We were just sitting here and talking about the future. Having a wedding...thinking about the kids we'll have someday. I just wanted to make sure that she wanted those things with me. She says she does but then she gets all secretive and defensive, and I don't know if she's just telling me what I want to hear and meaning something else. I don't want to be lied to."

"Nicky wouldn't lie to you, Lorna," Red said, willing herself to be patient. "She never has before, and she probably would get defensive if she felt you didn't believe her when she's given you no reason to doubt her."

"She's just so touchy about certain subjects that I know there is a lot she isn't telling me," Lorna huffed. "I can't help but wonder what she's hiding. She gets mad when I ask about some things and then storms out."

"So she stormed out after an argument between you two girls," Red clarified. "What were you arguing about?"

"Well, aren't you nosy," Nicky made a tsking sound and shook her head at Red in disapproval. She staggered into the room slowly and held out a hand for the cell phone. "Fishing for gossip, digging through my purse, not handing the phone off when she called for me."

"I thought you were asleep," Red said calmly, passing her the phone without saying another word to Lorna.

"I was for a little bit," Nicky shrugged, "but you didn't even bother to check before you told Lorna I couldn't talk. Jeesh." With a roll of her eyes, Nicky turned and went back into the bedroom to speak to Lorna in private. She bumped into the corner of the wall on her way.

Red sank back into the couch cushions and sighed. Millie jumped up onto her lap and she scratched her behind the ear absentmindedly as she wondered about what was going on with Nicky. Maybe it wasn't appropriate to be trying to weed out personal information from Nicky's girlfriend, but she was just trying to understand. She thought if she could learn the root of what possessed Nicky to drink today, then she could take measures to help prevent her from doing it again.

She sat there muddling through all the thoughts in her head as she tried and failed to focus on the news. Nicky didn't come back out of the room, but Red could hear her talking and laughing through the walls. You'd never know that Nicky and Lorna had been fighting only hours before, although the alcohol probably had a lot to do with Nicky's good mood. At least she was a happy drunk, Red scoffed. Too happy. She seemed to have no recourse for what she had done, but hopefully that would change by morning. She stared blankly at the screen, waiting for Nicky, who didn't come back out. Red's solitude was interrupted only when Gloria and the boys came bursting through the front door. The three of them all looked happy, as they talked animatedly to one another about the movie they had seen. Red couldn't help but smile at the sight of them.

"Did you have a good night?" she asked them, trying to sound normal.

"Yeah," Julio nodded. "I have some homework I need to do now though."

"I don't," Benny yawned, "But I'm going to take a shower and turn in."

They left the room as quickly as they had walked in. Red watched them go in surprise. Usually they were up late, so Red suspected that Gloria had asked them for some space when then they got home. Ordinarily, Red and Gloria would have long retired to bed before Benny, and Julio stayed up working the latest of all. The TV would drone in the background and Julio would sit at the kitchen table and pore over books. Thinking of how overused this space was between the four of them already, filled Red with an ill-ease. She couldn't possibly see where to fit Nicky back in-but she was determined to find a way if that was what was best for her. Gloria stripped off her coat and shook out of her boots.

"How have things been here?" Gloria asked carefully. She sat down on the couch and wrapped an arm around her. Feeling herself being pulled closer, Red slid over and leaned her head against Gloria's shoulder comfortingly. As soon as she did she let out a contented sigh and felt relief flutter within her. She hadn't been aware of how much she was in need of this-someone to hold her and make her feel like everything was going to be okay. It was difficult being a mother, especially when your child was an adult and you really had no control over the situation anyway. Red understood now why she had been glued to her spot in the living room all evening-she had been waiting for Gloria to come back and love on her.

"Oh, you know," Red said vaguely. She leaned up to eye Gloria and then sighed. "She's in our room. Lorna called," she said informatively. "I've just been sitting out here avoiding her, to be honest. I just tossed her the remote and told her to watch tv until she sobers up a little."

"See? I told you that someday you'd be grateful for that second television," Gloria teased, rubbing her hand up and down her arm briskly, as Red nuzzled even closer against her.

Red scoffed, "little brat doesn't have a care in the world."

"Yeah, well, she's drunk," Gloria reminded her. "Isn't that why people drink in the first place? To forget all your problems for awhile?"

"She's not supposed to do that," Red said distressingly. "It's different for her-"

"I know, I know," Gloria murmured.

I'm angry," Red admitted. "And worried." She hummed a small sound of relief when Gloria kissed the top of her head. "I don't know," Red sighed. "Do you really think I'm overreacting?"

"Honestly?" Gloria questioned. She reached a hand underneath Red's chin and tilted her head back. "Maybe a little," she smiled. "But it's okay. Nicky's situation is tricky and I suppose it can't hurt to be too careful."

Red's eyes shone with tears. "I'll never forget how she looked on drugs… and how much pain she was in during the detox."

"She doesn't look like that right now, love," Gloria said patiently. "She looks like any idiot who had a few too many and comes home drunk and gleeful. She'll be sick tomorrow morning, she'll regret it, and then that will probably be the end of it."

"I hope so," Red whispered.

"I'm sorry that I left you," Gloria said regretfully. "I know you're scared." She took a deep breath. "If you want Nicky to move back, then I'm fine with that. We'll find a way to make it work… I'm not sure how, but we'll manage."

"She doesn't want to anyway," Red huffed. "She wants to go back to Lorna."

"That's probably best," Gloria said calmly. "And I'm not saying that because I don't want her… but she's an adult and she's building her own life. Running back to her mommy less than three months in, doesn't seem smart. Besides… her and Lorna have seemed pretty happy together lately. This is probably just a little quarrel that they'll both forget in a few days."

"Lorna just has so many problems," Red said thickly. "I know that Nicky isn't perfect, but she really is selfless when it comes to that girl. She's patient, and understanding, and has been through a lot of heartbreak because of her."

"Nicky knew what she was getting into," Gloria said. "If it's too much then she can end it. If she loves her enough to work through the issues, then you need to let her handle it." She adjusted the throw cushion behind herself and sank back, tugging Red along so that she was leaning back against her chest. Sliding down lower, Red arranged herself so that her head was tucked beneath Gloria's chin. Taking both of Gloria's hands in her, she linked their fingers so that their promise rings bumped against one another.

"Lorna keeps talking about marriage and babies," Red said grimly.

"Okay," Gloria said carefully. "If that starts picking up, then I give you permission to interfere with them...they aren't ready for that."

"I don't think it's something Nicky would even want," Red said disapprovingly. "She'd just be going along with it for Lorna's sake."

"Let's focus on one problem at a time, dear," Gloria said. She kissed her hair and held her tighter. "You were fine with their relationship until you found out Nicky was drinking… and you don't even know if Lorna had anything to do with it."

"Well, I'm sure the fight with her contributed," Red replied.

"Even so," Gloria said patiently. "Just try not to overthink until Nicky is ready to talk."

"Okay," Red begrudgingly agreed.

"Just lie here with me for a little while," Gloria whispered in her ear. "I haven't seen you all day." Red nodded and continued to study their joined hands. Gloria reached for the remote and switched off the depressing news for something more pleasant. She was tempted to tell Red about Valentina's phone call. It had been on her mind all evening, occupying Gloria's thoughts even more than Nicky's predicament, which she was positive would resolve itself by the morning. However, the way Red was still fidgeting anxiously in her arms told Gloria to keep it to herself for the time being. Red had too much on her mind to listen right now.

They laid there together and watched television without speaking for a little while longer. Finally, Red could not resist the temptation to check on Nicky. Getting up, she tugged Gloria along by the hand towards the closed door of their bedroom. She knocked twice politely and then walked in. Nicky was laying sprawled out across the bed, with her mouth gaped open, and her cell phone still in her hand. She must have crashed the moment she hung up with Lorna, which was just as well in Red's mind.

"Look at your sleeping beauty, Red," Gloria rolled her eyes. She had her hands on both of her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "I guess this means I get stuck with the couch tonight…" she sighed.

Red turned around in her arms to look at her. "I'm sorry," she said apologetically. She wrapped her arms around Gloria's neck.

"Don't be," Gloria said, leaning forward to kiss her. "Just try to get some sleep. All the problems will still be there in the morning. Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yes," Red replied. "But not until one. It's my late night though."

"Well, you can spend the morning with Nicky," Gloria reminded her. "I have to be out of the house by seven-thirty, so once the boys go to school you'll have the place to yourselves."

Red kissed her longingly. Then, cheek to cheek, she leaned forward to envelop Gloria in a warm hug. "I love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too," Gloria replied. She kissed her lips and then let her go. Moving to the closet, she opened the door and grabbed her favourite pajamas to wear to sleep. Stowing them under one arm, she got up on tiptoe to pull down the comforter on the closet shelf that she would make her couch bed with.

"You know," Red said, her head tilted to the side as she considered Nicky's sleeping form. Her arms were crossed and she licked her lips in pause before continuing. "Seeing her sleeping so peacefully-when I've been sitting up worrying about her all evening-it really makes me want to take your advice and kick her ass."

"Hmm," Gloria giggled. Her arms overflowing with bedding and pajamas, she kissed Red briefly. "Well, I'll have your back if you do," she teased. "Go to sleep, _mi amor_." She nodded at Nicky. "And thank your lucky stars that your usual roommate is not a total bedhog like that girl."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Ugggggghhhhh," Nicky groaned loudly. Red lifted one heavy eyelid to look at Nicky, who was sitting up in the bed with her knees bent and her head in her hands. The morning sun was peeking through the closed blinds. Nicky had slept like a log last night, but Red not so much. She'd been restless, and more than once had walked out into the living room to check on Gloria whom she actually missed a lot. It had been well past midnight by the time she had finally drifted off.

"Hangover?" Red guessed in a groggy voice.

"Don't even," Nicky muttered, "I am not in the mood for a lecture, Red. Unless you're willing to go fetch me a couple of Tylenol and wait for them to kick in before you start."

"What happened yesterday, Nicky?" Red asked. Nicky moaned and buried her head. Unfazed, Red sat up in bed. "Why did you do that?"

"I'm not going to do it again," Nicky muttered. "I promise. You have my word on that."

"Do I?" Red asked bluntly.

Nicky nodded and snuck a peak at her. "Especially if it's gonna make me feel like this the next day." She rubbed the sides of her head where a painful headache was throbbing. "Damn...I don't remember alcohol ever affecting me this much before."

"Well, you had been sober for a long time," Red reminded her. "Your tolerance levels are probably lower." She sighed and looked down at the lilac comforter. Her hand ran over the fabric and her head was bowed. She hated having this discussion. She felt powerless to Nicky's impulses.

"I'm sorry I scared you," Nicky said quietly. She reached for her mother's hand and Red continued to stare down at the blanket silently. "I understand why you're worried, but I meant it when I said that I'm fine. I'm not going to drink again because I agree with you that it's dangerous for me...and I'm not going to suddenly fall back into my old ways because of one night. My life is too good now. I'm not gonna mess it up."

"Is your life good?" Red lifted her head up to meet Nicky's eye. "Are you sure you weren't tempted to drink because you're unhappy?"

"No, Ma," Nicky shook her head. "I'm not unhappy. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed right now. But starting today, I'm committed to dealing with the stress in a healthier way."

"Well, good," Red nodded, "but won't you talk to me? Let me in?"

"Well...I mean...it's not actually much," Nicky scoffed. "Sometimes Lorna gets a little jealous and it's not really a big deal. I'm good at calming her down and...you know...it's alright. Just last night I wasn't in the mood to do that when she came at me with accusations. So I sort of taunted her and then left."

"What was she jealous about?" asked Red.

"You know how I told you awhile ago that I'd been messaging with Shelby-my half-sister-a bit?" Nicky asked. Red nodded. "Well...I like her and we've been talking a lot more lately," she admitted shyly.

"That's great, Nicky!" Red exclaimed. She pulled Nicky into her arms and squeezed her tightly. Then, leaning back ever so slightly she gave her a searching look. "Then what's the problem?"

"Nothing," Nicky rolled her eyes. "Lorna just gets some funny ideas when she's left to her own devices for too long...so she accused me of cheating on her. Of just pretending to be talking with my sister."

"Really?" Red shook her head. "That girl…."

"And instead of reassuring her, I just kind of goaded her on," Nicky admitted sheepishly. "Told her that if I was cheating I'd be craftier about it….so then she got it into her head that I really WAS cheating and just too smart to get caught.

"Sounds like you're going to have some damage control to do," Red said dryly.

"Yeah, I'll be paying for that one for awhile," Nicky said casually. "I dunno...sometimes I just like to make trouble, I guess."

"Make trouble," a smile tugged at the corners of Red's mouth. "Well I suppose that's one of the things that you do best."

"But you love me anyway, right?" Nicky asked her, bringing her head forward just enough so that Red could kiss her golden hair.

"Very much," Red kissed her. She squinted at Nicky, and brushed the hair out of her face so she could see her eyes better. "So you fought with Lorna," she summarized, trying to get to the bottom of yesterday's proceedings, "and then you met up with Alex and started drinking?"

"Basically," Nicky shrugged. "I felt bad for upsetting her, Ma….it's just...she really touched a nerve when she started accusing me of things based around somebody I'm already feeling insecure enough about."

"Shelby?" Red clarified, and Nicky nodded.

"She wants to meet up, Ma," Nicky said softly. She stroked a finger up the silky arm of Red's pajama top.

"Do you want to meet her too?" Red asked. She lifted her arm to wrap it around Nicky's shoulder.

"Sort of," Nicky nodded.

"I think it's a good idea," Red said softly.

"I'm just nervous about opening a can of worms," Nicky said in her raspy voice. "I mean, she's my Dad's kid...and I don't want to have anything to do with him."

"You don't have to," Red said firmly. "A relationship with his daughter does not equal a relationship with him."

"Yeah, but she's close to him," Nicky said gruffly. "Sees him all the time. They vacation together on all her breaks from school. So that makes it awkward."

"It won't be awkward unless you let it be," Red replied. "I think you should meet her… because you need to know who she is. She's your sister, so that makes her a part of you. You both deserve this chance."

"What if she's awful?" Nicky asked anxiously. "What if I misread her and she's nothing but a preppy snob that's been silently judging me all along. Living the good life while I went to prison and was branded the family misfit."

"If she's awful, then you don't have to see her again," Red responded simply. "But I have a feeling it will go well. You two have been talking regularly for months. "

"And she's really funny," Nicky chuckled, "we've got the same sense of humour. We crack each other up all the time."

Red smiled. "I bet I'd like her too then," she said. "Because your humour is one of my most favourite things about you. You're the funniest person I know." She ran her fingers through Nicky's locks of hair affectionately. "I hope I get to meet her sometime too," she said honestly. "I've been curious about this girl ever since we found out about her."

"Join the club," Nicky said dryly. She'd wondered about her sister since the day Hayden Nichols had walked into the restaurant she worked at and showed her Shelby's picture inside his wallet. He had had an old picture of Nicky in his wallet as well, but she was convinced that that had just been more of a formality. After her parents divorced, Nicky's father drifted out of her life. She had never known that he had gone off to start another family with a wife and a replacement daughter. Marka had never told Nicky the truth. Maybe she had wanted to spare her feelings.

"Why don't you come with me for the first meet-up?" Nicky suddenly asked spontaneously. She looked hopefully at Red through her big brown eyes, knowing that this would all be better if she had her mother with her.

"You want me to go?" Red looked surprised. "Wouldn't you two rather be alone for the first meeting?"

Nicky shook her head. "I want you there. I don't want to go alone."

"Well, in that case, of course," Red nodded. She had a thought. "What if you invite her to Lida's party? Your friends will be there and there will be enough people present for the pressure to be off. So long as she won't find it too overwhelming to meet so many people at once, that might be a good way to do it.

Nicky considered the possibly. She'd have family and friends all around to help take the pressure off of her and Shelby to keep a conversation between themselves going. She also took some relish in giving her sister a glimpse of the wonderful happy Nicky had been adopted into, and of which she was so proud. Shelby may have gotten their father, but Nicky had Red to love her which was so much better.

"Yeah," she nodded. "That could work. I'll text her and ask" She fumbled with her hands. "And Ma?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to move back here," she said. "I know you're worried but you've got enough people in here as it is."

"There'd still be room for you, Nicky," Red reminded her patiently.

"I know," Nicky leaned back in the bed, rubbing her hands against her painful headache, she shut her eyes. "I just...I really want to make things with Lorna work."

"I guess," Red said warily. "If you're sure that's what you want."

"I love her," Nicky said. Her eyes were still closed but she smiled. "I'm not gonna let her go."

"Okay," Red agreed. She laid back down as well. Lying on her side, she propped her head up on her elbow and watched Nicky. "Do you think you'll really be fine though?"

"I'll be fine," Nicky told her. "Or at least I will be once my head stops pounding." She turned onto her side as well and faced her mother. "I won't drink again," she promised. "And I haven't done drugs."

"Have you wanted to?" Red asked bluntly.

Nicky squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze. "I'll always want to," she admitted guiltily, "but that doesn't mean I'm gonna do it. Please just don't be mad at me, okay? I can't stand it when you are."

"Oh, Nicky," Red sighed. She cupped Nicky's cheek in her hand. "I'm never mad at you," she assured her. "I'm mad at the disease. I wish it didn't hurt you and that you didn't have to fight to resist it every second of your waking life. That's why I'm upset. Drinking alcohol just makes me feel like you're taunting your addiction, or playing with fire. It scares me. I'm always worried that it's going to strike back."

"I'm stronger than that, Ma," Nicky said confidently.

"You're stronger than I'll ever be able to put into words, darling," Red smiled. "You have to fight this every day and I can only imagine how difficult that is….but that's why I want to help."

"You do help me," Nicky assured her. "You've been helping me since the day we met."

Red's thumb stroked a line from Nicky's cheek down to her chin. "Do you promise to come to me whenever you are struggling with it?" she asked softly.

"I promise," Nicky agreed. She sighed and wiggled closer for a hug. Red arched her arm around Nicky's back and held her close.

"Well then," Nicky said gruffly, a few moments later. "Now that that is taken care of, I guess I need to find a way to apologize to Gloria."

"For what?" asked Red. "Making her sleep on the couch?" She smirked. "I'm sure it won't be the first time I make her sleep on the couch."

"Better watch yourself, Ma," Nicky teased, "or you might be the one camping out in the living room...wouldn't surprise me one bit."

Red shook her head. "So what did you want to apologize to her about then?"

"Well, I sort of interrupted her phone call with her daughter yesterday," Nicky admitted sheepishly. "And she wasn't too happy with me."

"Her daughter?" Red looked astonished. "She called Gloria? Or did Gloria call her? How long did they talk for?"

"I don't know," Nicky rolled her eyes.

"Hmm," Red bit her lip, "that might explain why she wanted to get out of here so urgently last night."

"So… it isn't all of my fault then!" Nicky looked absolutely pleased with herself. "Think she'll take me to a movie tonight?"

Red shook her head. "I wouldn't count on it." She rubbed her hands together and rolled her head in an attempt to loosen the stiff muscles in her neck. "What else did Gloria say?"

"I don't really remember," Nicky shrugged. "She said something about not being particularly lovable, but… that's not very unusual considering…" she rolled onto her side. "It's hard to tell when she upset or not, she's just got that look about her."

Red rolled her eyes. "Well I hope you didn't tell her that."

"Noooo," Nicky said, her cheeks tinting "or at least I don't think I did." At the sound of her ringtone from the phone on the bedside table, she rolled in the opposite direction to grab it.

"Who is that?" Red asked.

"The Mrs," Nicky answered honestly. "I think I might hang out here a little while longer," she said softly. "Work up my nerve… sleep off this hangover a little more."

"And I thought you were going to say spend time with me," Red frowned.

"Oh, but of course," Nicky moved toward her. "How could I ever forget you?"


	23. Chapter 24

**This chapter was written by Johanna-002 and me together.**

"I got the balloons," Klara Petrova exclaimed, in her gentle voice that had just the slightest hint of a Russian accent. She walked into the private dining room carrying a bundle of pink and white helium filled balloons. She pursed her lips as she glanced around the room debating where to put them.

"How about behind her chair?" Gloria suggested. Seated alone at the dining table, she set her phone down and motioned to the head chair.

"Good idea," Klara agreed.

Accepting that her all-too-short break was over, Gloria got up and went over to help. "Here, I'll hold them while you tie it," she offered, gripping the balloon strings. Kara knotted them to the back of the head chair. Once they were secure, the two women stood back to admire their work. Nodding at Klara in satisfaction, Gloria returned to her seat. They had been decorating for hours and all she wanted to do was relax before the party actually began.

"Where did Galina go?" Klara asked. She pulled out a chair and sat down at the table across from Gloria.

"She went to make sure that the menu was all in order," Gloria replied casually. She picked up her phone and quickly typed out a reply to a text message that Benny had sent her. "My son," she rolled her eyes, waving her phone at Klara. "He wanted to make sure I won't forget to bring he and his brother back a piece of cake."

Klara laughed. "Well, I'm sure there will be plenty to bring back for them," she remarked. "I don't think we actually needed two-tiers."

"Probably not," Gloria agreed, eyeing the beautiful cake with pink and white frosting that sat in the center of the table. "But it gave Max a chance to show off his skills, I suppose." Maxim had baked the cake at the shop he worked in, and had delivered it to them at the hotel that morning. They were a pit stop on his way to Vasily's house, where he had promised to help his brother watch the kids that day.

"He really is very talented," Klara said proudly. "His baking looks like art and he's a wonderful cook too."

"Gets it from his mother," Gloria smiled.

Klara nodded. "I heard that your daughters were coming today," she said casually. "Lida was telling me about how she went to school with them."

"They were best friends in high school," Gloria nodded.

"Quite a small world," Klara remarked.

"Yeah," Gloria said slowly. She wanted the focus off of herself so she asked. "You never had any children of your own?"

"No," Klara said in a matter-of-fact voice. "But it makes a day like today even more special for me. I realize what a blessing it is to be able to celebrate a glowing expectant mother and a precious unborn baby." She cleared her throat. "Of course...it also makes it difficult to keep from thinking about the babies that I lost."

"You had miscarriages?" Gloria asked softly. She murmured a note of sympathy as Klara cleared her throat and nodded.

"I had seven," she admitted quietly. "I lost them all before the second trimester, except for my last. I carried Kristina-it's what I named her-for nearly six months. But she was born sleeping. My husband and I never tried again after we lost her. It was too painful."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Gloria looked up to meet her gaze. She could still see the sadness- the mourning.

Klara tried to shrug it off. "Times heals," she whispered. "Some days are a little easier than others."

"I think I'm still waiting for that day," Gloria admitted. Looking over at the door, at Red who had chosen this exact moment to walk back in, Gloria gave her a small smile and then turned her attention back to Klara. "I've been there before too," she admitted softly. Red gave Gloria a questioning look, as she sat down in the chair beside her.

"Everything in order?" Gloria asked Red lightly, changing the subject from the dark place she and Klara had just ventured. It seemed inappropriate on some level to be discussing their lost babies on a day of celebration for Lida's unborn child. Yet at the same time, it was fitting.

Red gave Gloria a searching look while Gloria stared fixedly back with a blank smile. "Fine," Red replied, when she realized she was not going to get anything more out of her right now. "It's all of her favourite foods, so I think she will be happy."

Gloria's simple statement, of being there before as well, brought a myriad of questions that Red desired answers to. Yet, she knew this was not the time or place to ask them. Her first assumption was that Gloria and Klara had been discussing her-talking about infidelity and about how Gloria had been the other woman all those years ago also. The thought made her feel indignant, as though her feelings as the wife were being made light of. And as much as she didn't want to think about Gloria having anything in common with Dmitri's mistress, that was a similarity she couldn't always ignore. Red couldn't imagine what else they could have been discussing, but she intended to find out as soon as she got Gloria alone.

"Lida is going to be thrilled," Klara said confidently. "This place is beautiful. You really did wonderful, Galina."

"Well, you and Gloria both helped," Red acknowledged. The intimate and elegant private room at a charming downtown hotel had been chosen with great care. The dining table was set to perfection with a white linen tablecloth and matching chair covers. A pink table runner was laid across the table, with Maxim's cake set in the center.

"Lida better be thrilled, because she sure isn't going to be surprised," Gloria joked. She squeezed Red's arm playfully.

"You don't think?" Klara questioned as she smoothed a hand over her neatly styled grey hair.

"Please," Gloria scoffed, "she and Red went shopping together to pick out all this stuff last weekend." She motioned to the decorations around the room. "I think Lida even chose the cake design. Isn't that right, dear?"

"So, what?" Red retorted, a guilty smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I wanted to make sure she got exactly what she wanted today." She shook her head. "She always puts herself last."

"Well, I think word on the street is that that is what all good mother's do," Klara said kindly. "But it's nice that you let Lida give her input….that girl always knows exactly what she wants."

"I know," Red nodded. "Quite an interesting contrast for my son who can barely decide on his own breakfast in the morning without convulsing." She rolled her eyes. "He tells me it's because he has a fear of commitment."

"He can't be that afraid of commitment," Gloria observed. "I mean...he's married. That's just about the biggest decision a person can make for themself."

"He dragged his feet about that one for awhile though," Klara reminisced. "Alexei was almost a year old on their wedding day."

Red's eyes became unfocused for a moment as she thought about the important day, just one of many, that she had missed. "I was so happy when they finally did it though," she said, her thick accent even more prominent. "I had been telling him to get his act together and propose for years." She smiled sadly. "And Lida made a beautiful bride. I love the photographs I have of her in her wedding gown."

Klara shook her head. "I'll never forget how long it took to find a dress that Lida was satisfied would hide her tiny baby bump." She looked at Gloria. "She was only four months along with Vera on their wedding day and wanted to find something that she wouldn't look pregnant in," she explained. "I think we went to every bridal store in the city before we found something that was flattering and simple enough for the small wedding we'd planned."

Gloria studied Klara out of the corner of her eye as the memory of such a pivotal moment in Red's son and daughter-in-law's life was painted for her. A moment that Red had missed being a part of. She placed her hand on Red's thigh between the table and squeezed her reassuringly. "It's good they waited to marry until they both were sure," she remarked. "I was forced to get married because I got pregnant, and all it did was make me and my ex resent one another. Vasily and Lida have built such a nice family. I'm glad they did things at their own pace."

"My marriage was arranged," Klara said, nodding in agreement at what Gloria had said. "My parents matched me with an American, which was how I was able to get my papers to move here. They immigrated with me and lived with me and my husband in our tiny apartment until they died. They thought it would be an easier life than staying in Russia."

"Do you think it was?" Red asked curiously.

Klara shrugged, "if you don't mind feeling like anything more than a glorified servant. That's basically what my husband thought of me."

"Well, that essentially describes being the wife of almost every man on the planet," Red remarked dryly. Gloria nodded in agreement.

"Hello!" Lorna's voice exclaimed, as she led Piper and Alex into the dining room. "This is gorgeous," she exclaimed taking in all the pink and white. "It looks like the inside of a wedding cake."

"Hi, girls," Red greeted them all. She frowned and looked over their shoulders as though expecting to see somebody else. "Where's Nicky? I thought you girls were going to go with her?"

"She decided to go alone," Alex explained calmly. She nodded her head in Lorna's direction and made a jerking motion with her hand to signal Red to drop it.

"I thought she'd be here already," Lorna said in distress. "Considering we stopped at the florist on the way." She motioned to the bouquet of pink roses that Piper was carrying.

"I'm sure she'll be here any minute," Red said lightly. She nodded at the flower arrangement. "Is that for Lida?"

"Yeah," Piper said. "I know you said we didn't have to bring presents, but we didn't want to come empty handed."

"You could put it at her place," Klara suggested, gesturing with her hand towards the head of the table.

Piper went to set the flower arrangement down. "I'm Piper by the way," she extended a hand to Klara. "And this is my wife, Alex."

"Hey," Alex nodded politely.

A server walked into the room with several different platters of delectable hors d'oeuvres that they had chosen, as well as fresh fruits, cheeses, and a glass bowl of something that looked like punch. The ladies helped themselves while they waited for the others to arrive. On her way back from filling her glass, Red paused next to Alex and gripped her arm. "Nicky seemed alright to you?" she asked nervously. She didn't feel comfortable addressing such a sensitive topic with Lorna, although she technically should have been speaking to her, if anybody.

"She was nervous," Alex said. "But really excited. She couldn't stop smiling and she left early because she couldn't wait any longer." She shrugged casually. "Hopefully it turns out to be everything she was wishing for."

"I didn't think she was going to go alone," Red admitted quietly. "She had asked me to go with her, but I was too busy getting everything ready here so she said she'd take all of you instead."

"Yeah...I really think she just changed her mind, Red," Alex said patiently. "She seemed fine to me."

"Ooooooh!" a gasp came from the doorway. Everyone turned to smile at Lida who had just walked in with her friends, Valentina and Carmen. She was wearing a heavy knit shift dress in pale gray. Her enormous baby bump seemed almost too big to be possible on the petite girls frame. Her swollen ankles and plump face made her look mildly uncomfortable, but she was smiling bigger than ever and had that beautiful mother's glow about her anyway. "This is amazing!" Lida gushed, tears of joy springing to her eyes as they danced around the room taking all of this in.

"This is wonderful!" Lida exclaimed. She smiled at Red. "Thank you!" She went over to embrace her mother-in-law, who hugged her back just as strongly.

"It's long overdue," Red replied. She smoothed back Lida's short blonde hair. "I wish we could have celebrated together the first time you became a mother also...and the second."

"That's okay," Lida smiled understandingly. She knew that Red would have given anything to be a part of things before and was going all out to make this third and final pregnancy as special as could be.

As everyone else went to gather around Lida and hug her. Gloria glanced over at her two daughters who looked considerably more withdrawn than their friend. Val looked beautiful in a pair of black cigarette pants and a red asymmetrical sweater. Carmen was wearing a gingham pencil skirt over black tights, with a black top. "Hey, you two," Gloria greeted them casually.

"Hi," Valentina and Carmen both said in unison.

"This room really is beautiful," Valentina said complimentary. "Did you help?"

"Ah, not too much," Gloria said modestly. "I didn't pick anything out, just helped set everything up that they decided. If it had been up to me, it wouldn't have been all pink."

Carmen giggled. "Pink is traditional, though."

"It looks like a bottle of pepto exploded in here," Gloria complained. She smiled at the laugh that bubbled from between her youngest girl's lips. She chanced a look toward her oldest, and feeling a little confident said, "When I had my shower for you, Tia and I decorated everything in purple." Gloria shifted on her heels, "We didn't want to be so predictable."

Carmen nudged her sister, "Isn't that the same bs excuse you gave me?" She smiled at her mother, and nudged her sisters arm. She frowned at the stoney look Valentina gave her in response, and mechanically squared her shoulders.

"Gloria!" Lida exclaimed, unknowingly interrupting a tense moment as she joined them. She wrapped her arms around the older woman in a tight hug. "Thank you for helping," she breathed against her ear, "it looks great." She pulled back and looked down the length of her, clad in jeans and a v-neck. "You look great by the way, doesn't she look great?" she asked the girls.

"I think _you_ look pretty great," Valentina smiled. "I also think you're starting to waddle a bit. Was that a waddle?" she teased.

"I think it was," Carmen giggled.

"Shut up," Lida wagged a finger at them, one arm still on the small of Gloria's back. "Unless you want me to laugh when it's your turn." She motioned over at Red who was busy texting on her cell phone. "Ma is upset that Nicky isn't here yet," she rolled her eyes. "Is she ever on time?"

"I told her that we should have told Nicky the party started an hour before it actually did," Gloria remarked. She huffed. "Honestly, that girl…."

"What girl?" a voice asked behind her. Nicky had walked into the room with a girl that could only be her sister. They both had matching wild curly hair, except the new girl's was a darker shade of copper when compared to Nicky's blonde highlights. Their eyes were identical. "You talking about me, Gloria?"

"Fashionably late as always," Gloria said sternly. "Don't you know it's bad manners to show up after the guest of honour? Your mother was about to send out a search party."

"Yeah, yeah," Nicky said, with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Cut me a break will you?"

Lida smiled. "You're here now," she consoled. "I'm so glad you could make it. I didn't expect you two to look so much alike," she said as her eyes danced between them.

Nicky grinned, "I'm sure you could have guessed, Shelby, but this is Lida."

Shelby extended her hand, laughter coating her words, "it's nice to meet you."

"Nicky!" They all turned to see Red walking over toward them, the skirt of her blue dress moving with her every step. "I thought for once you'd be on time," Red frowned. "We almost started without you."

"You can't start without me," Nicky chuckled as she embraced her. "I am the life of every party."

Gloria scoffed, "More like the headache."

Nicky smiled guiltily and gestured to her sister. "Ma, this is Shelby," she stepped back as the two woman shook hands.

"Nice to meet you," the younger woman cooed. "I've heard a lot about you. Nicky talks about you all the time."

"That's very sweet," Red smiled. "I am so happy to have you here." She turned to Gloria, "You've met everyone else?" she asked the young newcomer.

Gloria felt a rush of heat spread to her cheeks and gently shook her head. "We didn't really get that far," she admitted. Clearing her throat she gestured to her own girls, "These are my daughters..."

Nicky nodded. "I could tell, Gloria. They look just like you."

"Galina," Gloria gestured to her wife, "Valentina… Carmen."

Red extended her hand, a sigh of relief passing her lips when the younger women accepted it. "Nice to finally meet you," she said quietly.

"Yea..." Valentina said a little stiffly. "You too."

"Maybe we should go sit down," Shelby suggested, sensing the awkward tension that had flooded over them.

Lida nodded in agreement. "Good idea," she stroked her hands over her swollen belly. "I think there's food-"

Nicky wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "always about food with you, isn't it?" She turned back to look at her sister. "Let me introduce you to Lorna and the rest of the gang."

They all moved over to the elaborate set table where they waited to be served. The menu had been chosen with all of Lida's favourites in mind. Red seemed entirely eager to indulge her, and they all enjoyed courses of vinaigrette salad, Salmon, and Russian delicacies such as Golubtsy and Knish.

"What's this drink?" Nicky asked, stirring the pinkish liquid in the punch bowl with the ladle. "Some kind of juice?"

"Kissel," Klara answered. "It's similar to juice, I suppose. That one is made from cranberries."

"I used to add more cornstarch to make it into a jelly and then serve it to the boys on a pastry," Red added.

"Oh, it's so delicious like that," Lida sighed. "I've made it at home like that for the kids and we had it with ice-cream."

"Uh huh," Nicky mumbled. She served herself a glass and sat down. Taking a tentative sip, Nicky allowed the liquid to roll over her tastebuds for a moment.

"Do you like it?" asked Red.

"Yeah…." Nicky said slowly, rocking her head side to side as she thought about it. "I think I'd like it more served on ice-cream, like Lida said…or maybe with brandy" She caught sight of the look of outrage on Red's face. "Kidding!" she held her hands up in defeat.

"Well, it wasn't very funny," Red told her stiffly.

"Neither is this kid's foot in my rib," Lida complained. She winced and rubbed her left hand against her side.

"Try leaning to the side a bit," Gloria suggested. "Sometimes that can convince the baby to change its position." Lida leaned over to the right side, brushing up against Valentina who was sitting next to her. She rubbed her hand strongly over her ribcage in a circular motion.

"I remember when Gabriella was always doing that," Valentina stroked a strand of blonde hair out of her friend's face. "She was tall, even as a baby...there was nowhere for those legs to go."

"Sounds like somebody I remember," Gloria said softly. She gave her daughter a knowing look. "You'd wiggle your foot up as high as it would go and wouldn't budge." She looked at Carmen. "And Car, you never stopped moving and kicking. I knew what size shoe you were going to wear before you were even born."

Carmen laughed. "Really? That's sort of cool,"

"Whoo," Lida breathed, sitting up straight again. "I think that worked. Little missy found a better spot to rest her foot."

"Until she gets a little bit bigger and doesn't have the option of rolling over anymore," Red teased.

"How much bigger can she get?" Lida groaned, motioning to her enormous stomach. "Only about a month more to go...I'm nearly there."

"You don't get scared about actually having to have the baby?" asked Shelby. "I know I would be….that's sort of why I don't think I'll ever have children."

"I know what you mean," said Carmen. "I was in the room when Val had her daughter." She smiled at her sister. "No offense, sis, but you sort of turned me off of the idea."

"It surprisingly isn't scary once labour starts" Valentina replied. "You're body just takes over and you trust that it knows what it's doing"

Lida nodded her agreement. "You're just so eager to get the baby out by that point that you're excited for the contractions to begin." She shrugged. "But I've always been pretty lucky." She giggled. "I feel like I'm going to jinx myself, but I've always been able to do it naturally and in a short amount of time. Alexei was born within twelve hours, which I'm told is pretty good for a first baby."

"Umm..yes," Red nodded at her daughter-in-law. "That's very good. I was in labour with Yuri for forty-four hours."

"Jeez," Nicky looked horrified. "You went through all of that just to wind up with Yuri?" She winked at her mother. "No offense…"

"All of my babies took a very long time to be born," Red continued. "I actually didn't mind that much because there was a steady build up before the pains became too strong….and it also gave me time to clean the house and get everything in order before I left for the hospital."

"My daughter took twenty-five hours," Valentina told Red. "I finally consented to have an epidural so that I could get some sleep..." She sighed. "I was a little disappointed not to do it naturally, but my husband pointed out that they don't give medals out for childbirth….so why be a martyr?

"Looking back, I probably should have given in and had one," Red said. "But I was so determined to do it naturally and I really didn't want to have any more needles-I had complicated pregnancies. But I was so exhausted that I kept dozing off between contractions during the pushing stage...they finally needed to use the vacuum extractor to get my first baby out, because I was so weak. I was able to push out my other two unassisted though."

"You mean they sucked the baby out of you with a vacuum cleaner?" Shelby looked astonished.

"Doesn't that sound like something out of a horror movie?" Nicky joked. She shook her head. "I'm actually still shocked that it hasn't come out that I was born via surrogate," she told them all seriously. "I just can't picture Marka actually subjecting herself to such torture. I mean, she outsourced all her other parental tasks."

"It's the miracle of life, Nicky," Gloria said dryly.

"It's disgusting," Nicky replied. "Who told you people that this was good table conversation when we're eating?"

"Well, it's a baby shower," Klara laughed. "It's bound to come up."

Alex laughed. "Well, all I know is that I'm never going to get pregnant," she said.

"I thought we'd take turns?" Piper said. "We want two kids," she explained to the group.

"And you wouldn't just be content with a couple of cats?" said Alex.

"No, I would not," Piper said firmly.

"I still would like to have one," Lorna said. Gloria and Red exchanged a long look behind her back. "Probably not more than that because I wouldn't want to be too stretched out. But so long as you're faithful about doing your kegels, everything goes back to normal."

At this, Gloria, Red, Lida, and even Valentina broke out into a fit of laughter. "Yeah, I don't know about the rest of you…" Lida joked, "but I still pee everytime I sneeze."

"You could have kept that to yourself," Nicky pointed out.

"Aside from Benny, my labours were quite uneventful," Gloria reminisced. She smiled at Red. "Seems sort of fitting that you'd have the more dramatic stories though, doesn't it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Red.

"That you're dramatic," Nicky said bluntly.

"I just remember watching television and sort of chilling out while Lourdes made me eat things that were supposed to help make things go faster," said Gloria.

"Like what?" asked Valentina curiously.

"Pineapple," Gloria told her. "And Tia knew all the acupressure points to hit to make my contractions longer so that they would accomplish more."

"Like the Pericardium 8 point?" Valentina asked, pressing a spot on her hand in demonstration. "They told us about that one in birthing class."

"Yeah," Gloria nodded at her daughter. "And then we just walked around the block a million times-I think that was my least favourite part of the whole ordeal, honestly. I just wanted to lie on the couch and nap until it was time."

Red scoffed. "The nurses kept trying to get me to stay in my bed." She shook her head. "I still remember how annoying they were. I had back labour and sitting down or leaning back made me feel like I was on fire. They were all mad that I wouldn't listen to them."

"See that's why I didn't have mine in the hospital," Gloria said. "I'm pushing out an eight pound baby, you don't get to tell me to do anything I don't want to do."

"You had home births?" Valentina asked, looking thoughtful when Gloria nodded. "I never knew that…"

"You girls and Julio were all born at home," Gloria said. She rolled her eyes. "And then Benjamin Mendoza came along with his feet first and the cord around his neck...I had to go in for a cesarean with him."

"Way to go out with a bang, I guess," Shelby observed.

"That's why I always decided against a home birth," Lida said. "I've always wanted to be _in_ the hospital in case of an emergency, but I never wanted any medical interference at all."

"Me either," Red agreed with her daughter-in-law. "I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't want anybody to touch me or talk to me...which was just as well, because I married a man who hid out in the hallway the entire time. If I had wanted someone to hold my hand or feed me ice chips, I'd have been very disappointed."

Lida smiled sympathetically. "Well, if you're going to be in the room with me, Ma, then you better be prepared for me to squeeze the life out of your hand. And I need cool cloths and lots of ice chips between contractions."

"Do you want me in the room?" Red asked her, looking slightly taken-aback.

"If you want to be," Lida smiled shyly. "I would like you with me."

"Okay," Red smiled.

"Should we cut the cake now?" Nicky asked, "somehow I still have an appetite after all the lovely images you mothers planted in my head."

Klara stood up to cut everyone a piece of cake. They passed them around the table and they all waited to eat until everyone had been served. "Does anyone else want coffee or tea?" asked Red. The server had wheeled in a cart laden with tea bags, cream, sugar, and a pot of hot water and another of freshly brewed coffee.

"Coffee, please," Lida said happily.

"I thought you weren't supposed to have coffee when you're pregnant?" said Lorna.

"Meh, I think giving it up completely would hurt me more," Lida complained. "We all deserve a little indulgence time-to-time. Our babies are fine….besides, it wasn't long ago that women smoked and drank all through their pregnancies and nobody thought anything of it. You learn as you go, every pregnancy is different."

"Yeah, I survived my mother's regular martini's whilst in utero," Nicky joked, "and I turned out just fine." She frowned. "Unless…" She turned to her sister. "Do you know if _your_ mother drank when she was pregnant with you?"

"I don't know," Shelby giggled. "You want me to ask her?"

"Maybe you should," Nicky nodded. "Because that might explain why I went to prison and you went to Harvard...another reason to hate Marka!" She almost looked triumphant.

"Oh, come on Nicky," Gloria chided disapprovingly. She snuck an anxious glance at her daughters. "You don't _really_ hate her."

"Nobody hates anybody," Red cut in before Nicky could respond. She knew Gloria was projecting her own emotions onto Nicky's experience. It wasn't hard to find comparisons between their situations, both Gloria and Marka having contributed to the estrangement between themselves and their daughters, but also having their own stories to tell.

Red had never really been interested in Marka's side of the story before. Her compassion had always been directed exclusively at Nicky. She'd relished in the opportunity to give Nicky the mothering she hadn't known before, never once caring about the reason why Marka had never been able to do that for her daughter herself. Yet, it was hard to be indifferent to her now when she compared the way Nicky was with Valentina and Carmen-all three girls with huge chips on their shoulders and an overflowing of resentment towards their mothers. And though their feelings were understandable, Red didn't believe Gloria deserved so much animosity...and now she was uncomfortable with Marka receiving the same level of contempt. It was interesting to be on both sides.

Red carried Lida over the cup of coffee that she had fixed her, with just the right amount of cream and sugar that she knew her daughter-in-law liked. Then she moved over to place her hands on Nicky's shoulders. "How can you hate someone who keeps you and Lorna living in a gorgeous apartment...AND who is paying your tuition at a prestigious university?"

"What does that have to do with my personal feelings towards the woman?" Nicky asked.

"Because hating someone, but still taking everything you can get from them, makes you a hypocrite," Red said sharply. "You either at least acknowledge the things she does right, or you learn how to live without her." Smoothing back Nicky's hair, Red smiled over at Shelby. "Harvard is pretty incredible, but it's too far away from me," she continued. "So I'm glad you stuck with NYU, Nicky. In-utero martinis notwithstanding, I think you both have turned out pretty great."

"Yeah, I guess I am pretty fantastic," Nicky agreed. She tilted her head back to look up at her mother. She gave her a reproachful glare, curious about why all of a sudden Red didn't want to hear her insult Marka. Red had never exactly gone along with Nicky's vents before, but she had never stopped her from saying her piece either.

"You are," Red confirmed affectionately. She patted Nicky's cheek so that she would know that she wasn't mad at her. Then she glanced down the table at the other girls. "Have you checked out your hotel room yet?" she asked them. "We booked two rooms side by side, and they walk out to the pool."

"I bought a new bikini," Piper said happily, stroking her finger down Alex's arm suggestively. "Do we all want to head upstairs?"

"Yes," Red nodded. "I'll just finish packing away everything in here and then I'll join all you girls."

"This is exactly the sort of weekend I needed," Lida said happily. She stood up and kissed Red's cheek before leaning between Valentina and Carmen so that she could reach the cake. "I'm just going to have a little more cake and then I'll join you guys. But you all go ahead!"

"We'll wait for you," Lorna said.

"No, go ahead," Lida waved them away. "We'll be along. I just want to eat more first."

"I take a long time to get ready anyway," Piper reasoned. She gripped Alex's hand and tugged her towards the door. "See you out there!"

"Do you like to swim, Nicky?" Shelby asked. "I used to lifeguard in the Hamptons every summer."

"Yeah, I used to be a synchronized swimmer," Nicky replied as the two girls walked to the door.

"Really?" Shelby asked.

"No," Nicky snorted. "Marka did make me take ballet for nine years though-" they could hear the two sisters laughter cascading down the hall as they headed to the pool.

"I'm glad they're getting along," Red said happily, once they were gone.

"Shelby seems to adore Nicky," Gloria nodded in agreement. "And Nicky looks like she's having fun showing off for her. It's good for them. It's nice when family can come together like that."

"So they're sisters?" Carmen asked interestingly.

"Half-sisters," Lida nodded. "They never met before and they grew up apart...I think there's a bit of an age difference too." She glanced at Red for confirmation. "It's sort of like you guys and your brothers," Lida added casually, scraping the icing off of her piece of cake and licking it off the fork.

"The two separate families part is the same," Valentina said stiffly. She looked over at Gloria. "Although I don't think I'll ever be as indifferent to being replaced as Nicky is-but I suppose having all of you helps soften the blow for her."

"You were never replaced," Gloria said quietly. "Even to this day, I want you girls in my life more than ever." She reached under the table for her purse, which she had stowed her cigarettes in. "I'm going to step out for a minute." She announced.

"You're still smoking?" Carmen asked her in disapproval. "Honestly, the damage inflicted by cigarettes that I see on people's teeth everyday-I don't know how you can still do that to yourself."

"I know," Gloria sighed guiltily. "But it's very addictive-that's why."

"You're a dentist?" Klara asked Carmen curiously.

"No," Carmen shook her head. "I'm a dental hygienist. I don't know...smoking has just always been a hot button issue for me."

"I understand," Klara said, "and I should quit-I've tried and failed so many times though. But it is addictive." She glanced at Gloria, who was holding a cigarette and a lighter in her hands, looking eager to escape. "Do you mind if I join you?" she asked cautiously.

"Not at all," Gloria said smoothly. She shifted on her feet as she waited impatiently for Klara to find her smokes and put on a jacket.

"You smoked when you were pregnant too though, right?" Valentina said, her eyes on Gloria. "At least with us….I know you tried hard to do better with the boys."

"Things change," Gloria said simply. "The doctors gave out new information when I got pregnant with Julio. They told me to quit and I did my best to abstain until he was born-when I had you girls, the doctor told me cutting back would be good enough. He was worried that going cold turkey would shock my system."

"And Dad was okay with that excuse?" Valentina asked under her breath.

"I didn't get his permission for every little thing," Gloria hissed. She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled a deep breath, forcing a smile to her lips. "Yeah," she breathed. "If there ever was a time I needed to step out for a cigarette this would be it."

"Valentina? Carmen?" Red spoke sharply, as she watched Gloria and Klara make for the exit. "Would either of you like a coffee or tea?"

"No," Valentina said coolly.

"But thank you," Carmen added hastily, her eyes downcast.

"You guys should at least have some more cake," Lida said.

"I'm full," Carmen protested, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

"Come on," Lida teased. "Mama, you too. I don't want to eat alone."

"Alright," Red gave in first. "Then we'll go see what the others are doing at the pool deck."

"And I won't even look completely hideous at the pool," Lida said brightly. She smiled at her friends, as Red gave them each a small piece of cake. "You know what Vasily splurged on for me? A maternity swimsuit...almost makes me sad I won't have more opportunities to wear it..."

"That was sweet of him," Red smiled approvingly. She sat down with the three girls at the table. "I have something for you too…"

"I said no presents," Lida exclaimed with a giggle, though she looked pleased. "All of this is a gift enough."

"You said you didn't need anything for the baby," Red surmised, "but I still wanted to get you something just for you." She pulled out a small box and handed it to her daughter-in-law.

Lida's eyes flashed excitedly as she eagerly opened up the wrapping to reveal a small velveteen box. Inside it was a gorgeous silver bangle bracelet with a delicate design and a clasp that looked like a rose. "Oh my gosh," Lida breathed. She reached out a hand to Red, clutching the fabric of her sleeve as she pulled herself closer to hug her. "I love it."

"I thought you would," Red answered simply.

Lida looked back down at the bracelet as a happy glow spread across her plump cheeks. "I said no presents," she reminded her, but she giggled.

"You deserve a present," Red dismissed her protest, "and you deserve a weekend away from the house to relax and have fun. So you get to have both."

"Look guys!" Lida told her friends excitedly. She passed the box holding her bracelet to Valentina. Then she wrapped her arms around Red's neck to hug her again. "Thank you," she whispered.

"It's beautiful," Valentina nodded, and then she passed it to Carmen to examine. "You two are so lucky that you get along so well. Most mother and daughters-in-law's don't."

"You don't with yours?" Red asked.

"Oh, mine's dead," Valentina replied. "I just know from what a lot of my other friends say."

"Well, I didn't like mine very much," Red admitted.

"You didn't?" Lida asked. She had taken back her bracelet from Carmen and was now trying to fasten it around her wrist by herself.

"Not really," Red admitted. "I always felt judged by her. Whenever Dmitri and I would fight-which was fairly often-he'd run to tell her and she'd always take his side without even asking for mine." She reached for Lida's bracelet and fastened it onto the girl's wrist for her. "Besides being annoyed that she was always in our business to begin with, It always upset me that she would automatically make me the bad one just because she refused to believe that her son could ever do anything wrong."

"Anyway," Red said briskly. She walked behind Lida so that she could untie the balloons from the back of her chair. The hotel staff would take care of all the clean up for them, but they needed to take down what they had put up. "I always swore that when I had a daughter-in-law of my own that I would be different." She rolled her eyes. "I know my son quite well," she said dryly. "He's pretty lucky to have someone like you put up with him."

"Yeah," Lida laughed. "My favourite is when you and I team up against him at the same time." She shook her head. "Poor guy," she smiled. "But he's pretty good."

"Alright, we're back," Gloria announced. She looked in better spirits than she had when she had left to go outside. She waved a hand at the balloons that Red had untied from the chair. "Do you want us to start taking everything down?" she asked.

"Yes," Red nodded. She glanced at Lida, Valentina, and Carmen. "Why don't you all go join the others and we'll meet you when we're done here?"

"Would you like any help?" Carmen asked politely.

"That's alright," Red told her. "We won't be long here."

Gloria reached for one of the plastic containers that the hotel had provided for them to pack up any of the leftover food. She went over to begin boxing up the cake.

"Sweet tooth?" Valentina asked lightly. She had dawdled while Carmen and Lida had left the dining room. Instead, she had wanted to catch a moment alone with her mother.

"Benny made me promise to bring some home for him," Gloria replied.

"Oh," Valentina said flatly, and a flicker of unmistakable jealous flashed in her eyes. The fact that her mother had moved on and had two more children that she had always seemed more devoted to, was very upsetting. Valentina had never been privy to the ups and downs Gloria had contended with when raising Benny and Julio. She actually didn't know too much about them, only having inconsistent brief visits with her mother, once the boys were born. Her father had said Gloria was too overwhelmed to house two teenagers when she was barely managing to look after the two little boys. Whatever Gloria said to the contrary, she _had_ replaced them.

"Listen," Valentina sighed, "I'm sorry about what I said there-about the smoking while pregnant with me thing."

"That's alright," Gloria murmured, covered the cake with a lid. "I mean...you were only stating facts, right?"

"Yeah, but I did exactly what I said I wasn't going to do," Valentina shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want things to be weird between us. The past is the past, right?"

"Not if it's still causing pain in the now," Gloria replied. "This isn't the time or the place, but someday I hope we can work through everything."

"You did replace us though," Valentina told her bluntly. "At least do me the favour of not denying that."

"I never-"

"Daddy told us about how you were too overwhelmed to see us more often, once you had the boys," Valentina said. "He said you had your hands too full."

"You were twelve, when Julio was born," Gloria said flatly. "And you were seven when your father and I separated….there was a whole lot of years in between where I barely saw you, although I begged for more time."

"He just didn't want us to sleepover because you were living in that really crappy apartment in that sketchy neighbourhood," Valentina replied. "He said it wasn't safe." She tapped her violet painted acrylic nails against the table. "But you had a really nice place when you had the boys. We could have come around more then, but you never invited us."

"That's not exactly true," Gloria let out a sigh. "But I'm sorry you were led to believe that. I should have made things more clear….you and Carmen were always welcome." She crossed her arms and pressed her head down to her chest, contemplating. "Do you think things will ever be alright between us?" she asked directly. "Or are you just going to disappear again once this weekend is over?"

"Well, I've been thinking about that," Valentine said slowly. "And I'm not sure if I'm making a mistake or not...but Ian and I were discussing things before...about Gabriella." She swallowed a lump in her throat. "He thinks you should meet her-so, if you want to, you can." Valentina could not possibly have sounded less enthusiastic about her invitation, but it was enough that she had said it at all. It was an offer, a step in the right direction.

"Yes," Gloria nodded, "Oh, yes. Darling, I want to…"

"Okay," Valentina said nervously. "Maybe dinner at my house next weekend?" She offered a weak smile when Gloria nodded her head immediately in agreement. It was sad to see how hopeful and eager she was over something as simple as dinner at her daughter's house. It was such a little thing that most people take for granted. "We can figure out the arrangements later."

After Valentina excused herself to go upstairs and meet up with everyone else at the pool, Gloria finished helping Red and Klara take everything else down. The three older women were quiet, but it was a comfortable silence that stemmed from tolerance. Red wasn't seething with rage by Klara's mere presence, she seemed indifferent while also respectful. She had done a good thing by voluntarily asking Klara to be a part of the day. It was a gesture that had made everything better in the family.

"Where would you like to store everything, Galina?" Klara asked, once all the decorations were folded up.

"We'll just leave them in our room," Red shrugged. She and Gloria were planning to stay at the hotel overnight, but had gotten a room for just the two of them to share. They had no interest in staying up all night with Lida, Nicky, and the others. They'd let the younger women enjoy themselves while they took full advantage of the comforts in this beautiful hotel, on a rare night away from Julio and Benny.

"Great," Klara said agreeably. "I think I'll go up to the pool to say goodbye to Lida and the others. Then I'll probably head home."

"Okay," said Red.

"Thank you so much for including me, Galina," Klara smiled.

Once she was gone, Gloria wrapped Red in her arms and smiled against her skin, as she buried her face in Red's neck. "Everything alright?" Red asked her uncertainty.

"Valentina invited me to her house next weekend," Gloria said softly. Red's response was to wrap her arms around Gloria tighter and kiss her.

"That's so good," Red breathed. She could feel Gloria's warm breath on the base of her neck.

"Yeah," Gloria agreed in a shaky voice. "If I forget the fact that she doesn't really want me to meet her. Val's husband does, and she-"

"If she didn't want you to, she wouldn't have asked," Red interrupted.

Gloria sighed, "I guess you're right."

"I wasn't really sure what to think of them exactly," Red said, "but at least she's doing the right thing there." She stroked her hand down the curve of Gloria's waist. "Quite a day for you," she teased. "You even made a brand new friend...traitor."

"What are you talking about?" Gloria asked in bemusement.

"Klara," Red rolled her eyes. "You spent more time talking to her than me today."

"She's not so bad, you know?" Gloria smiled. "I was proud of you for being so nice. It made everything better today. You did the right thing."

"Hmm," Red murmured. She pulled back with a frown. "What were you two talking about earlier?"

"Huh?" Gloria blinked.

"When I walked in…" Red explained. "You told her you had 'been there before too'-what were you talking about?"

"Oh," Gloria said flatly. She leaned forward to kiss Red's lips. "It's a long story," she said quietly. "And I want to share it with you later. It's not the right time now" She kissed her again. "Right now, we should go join the others. Let's go hang out in the jacuzzi!"


	24. Chapter 25

"What are you laughing at?" Gloria asked, as she walked out of the bathroom in their hotel suite and smiled. Red was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing a sweater over her pajamas and looking quite amused by whatever was on her phone. She looked up at Gloria's words, and her eyes flashed as she caught sight of her.

Gloria slipped her arms through the sheer fabric sleeves of her robe and then tied the belt in a knot at her waist. It was see-through, a complementary piece to the silky black lingerie she was wearing underneath. The nightie barely reached her thigh and technically wasn't appropriate attire for the cold damp autumn weather they had been experiencing lately, but one look at Red's face told Gloria it was worth it.

"Look at you," Red purred. As Gloria moved closer, Red reached a hand out for the silky belt at her waist. Gripping around the loosely tied knot, she tugged Gloria more forward. Gloria's legs parted as she lowered herself onto her lap. She wrapped her arms around Red's neck, her toes pressed into the floor so that she was still supporting her own weight.

"You like?" Gloria asked, and Red nodded.

She kissed Gloria's lips, and moved her hands lower, to the bottom of the short negligee she wore. "I've never seen it before," she murmured. Tugging playfully on the delicate fabric, she slipped her hands beneath it and crawled them upward, igniting goosebumps over Gloria's smooth skin. "Is it new?"

"Yeah," Gloria breathed. "A little gift for myself."

"I thought it was a gift for me," Red teased. She caught Gloria's lips with hers and savoured their smoothness. Their lips parted as they deepened into the kiss, leaning in closer. Gloria's hands caressing her face, while Red's hands were still stroking her skin underneath the nightie.

"And I was worried living together might kill the romance," Gloria laughed, when they at last came up for air.

"I don't think that's possible," Red said seriously, and Gloria nodded her agreement.

"What were you looking at just now?" she asked, motioning to the phone that Red had dropped onto the bed when she had caught sight of her.

"Benny messaged me," Red replied. "He's going to be mad that I didn't reply all day, but I didn't have time to look at it until now." After their luncheon downstairs, they had all gone to the pool where they spent several leisurely hours. They'd gone out to a bistro across the street that Lida picked, and then back to the hotel where they'd congregated in the large suite next door for games.

Through the thin walls, they could hear the laughter and music playing from the next room where all the younger women were hanging out and still going strong. Red and Gloria had stayed with them until eleven, but were now eager to retire to their own hotel room. It was a special treat to spend the night away from home alone.

"What did Benny want?" Gloria asked, nuzzling her neck with kisses.

"Nothing," Red said airily. She tilted her head to the side to give Gloria more access to her sensitive neck. "He just sent me a bunch of self-portraits of himself-said in case I was wondering what he was doing all day."

"Self-portraits?" Gloria asked with a frown. She leaned over to pick up Red's phone so she could see for herself. "Oh, _selfies_ ," she corrected. She swiped over to reveal more and rolled her eyes. "What a little dweeb," she joked affectionately. Benny had sent Red pictures of himself with Tiny Dragon, eating the pizza he had ordered in lieu of the meal she had left him in the fridge, and one of him making a sad face that he had captioned "stuck at home while everyone else is having fun."

"I think we're going to have to make it up to him," Red whispered, "he said it was discrimination that he wasn't invited just because he's not a girl."

"He's ridiculous," Gloria shook her head. "If he had sent these to me, I'd have sent him a selfie back of myself poolside and captioned it "Ha"."

"Mean mother," Red teased, "that's probably why he didn't send them to you."

"I could be meaner," Gloria threatened with a wry smile. "He puts all this effort into talking to you, and all I got from him today was a demand for cake." She stroked Red's hair back and laughed. "Sort of makes me want to go the mini-fridge and eat it on him."

"Don't you dare," Red giggled.

"Oh, is that who you're siding with?" Gloria teased.

"Yes," Red kissed her. "He likes me now, I'm not messing that up."

"He _loves_ you," Gloria gently corrected. "And so, does Julio," she kissed her again. "And so, do I."

"I love you too," Red smiled. She squeezed the muscles of Gloria's bare thighs, withdrawing any lingering tension.

"Mmm," Gloria sighed in relief as Red worked on her tight muscles. "So, did you have fun today?" she asked, brushing Red's hair out of her eyes for her.

"Yes," Red nodded. "And more importantly, I think Lida had a great day."

"She never stopped smiling," Gloria said. "She was so happy."

"She always smiles," Red said fondly. "She always just has this joy about her."

"I wonder what that's like," Gloria pondered.

"I don't think either of us will ever really know," Red replied. "That's not us…"

"Life might have been easier for me if I hadn't been cursed with such a resting b*tch face."

"I don't know," Red smirked, "I think it sort of suits you."

"Thanks a lot," Gloria rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I meant," Red brushed Gloria's cheek with her lips. "Just, I don't know, you always look cute to me." She placed her finger on the dimple on the side of Gloria's mouth when she smiled. "And you looked like you were having a lot of fun today too. It was okay?"

Gloria shrugged. "There were moments when things with Val and Carmen seemed almost normal," she said. "Where they forget that they're supposed to be mad at me all the time."

"That will probably happen more and more regularly," Red said softly. "I was watching them today-there is an obvious amount of love for you in those two girls. That's why they're so bitter."

"I don't think they _hate_ me," Gloria chewed her lower lip anxiously. "But I think I gave them a lot of reasons to over the years-"

"I think they were brainwashed against you," Red said bluntly. "There was nothing so bad you could have done that would have caused this amount of tension if their father hadn't been whispering in their ears. Like about the smoking? Come on! How would she have even _known_ what you did when you were expecting her, unless he had told her!"

"Yeah, but there were things I could have-should have-done differently," Gloria said bluntly.

"We all make mistakes," Red reminded her.

"Some mistakes are more serious than others though," Gloria replied. "They think I replaced them when I had the boys and I can't blame them for feeling that way. I didn't _mean_ to do it though."

"Gloria-"

"I was just so sick of the fighting, and the visitation headaches, and their snippy little attitudes because Danny told them that they didn't have to listen to me," Gloria sighed. "I should have fought harder for them, but I just checked out instead."

Red compressed her lips and didn't quite know how to respond to that. She wouldn't lie and excuse Gloria's mistakes, but she wasn't going to judge her for them either. Making Gloria feel better and helping her navigate through this difficult situation with her daughters was her priority. It didn't matter why it had happened. Things just needed to change.

"Your daughters are beautiful, college educated, close to their father, and Valentina is happily married with a baby," Red listed carefully.

"That all has nothing to do with me," Gloria replied.

"No," Red agreed, "but I just want you to see how well they turned out. Maybe you didn't have much of a hand in raising them, but the point is that they turned out okay-better than okay. You didn't ruin their lives, Gloria."

"You can see the hurt in them," Gloria said softly. "They aren't just angry with me for the hell of it, they felt rejected, abandoned, and replaced. I made them feel just how Marka makes Nicky feel."

"It's not too late to start again," Red sighed. "Valentina invited you over to her house after all. That tells me they are open to a relationship...they're just being cautious."

Gloria sighed. "I did try harder for the boys though," she admitted.

Red slipped her hands out from underneath Gloria's nightgown and placed them on her waist instead. Her ears were perked in attention. She wanted Gloria's story, her full truth of who she was and had endured. Gloria moistened her lips and then said. ""I gave birth to Julio and he was just so sweet and innocent. He didn't have anything against me-his face lit up whenever I came into a room."

"It still does," Red reminded her.

"I loved him so much and I was just so enchanted with him that I didn't fight for my daughters as much," Gloria said guiltily. "He was just easier. So, I stopped asking them to visit-I wouldn't have turned them away if they had reached out to visit me, but I didn't make the effort. And that was wrong. Because the mother should always go the extra mile for her child."

"There's still time," Red said softly. "You should tell them what you just told me."

"Oh, it wouldn't make any difference," Gloria scoffed.

"Valentina is a mother now too," Red reminded her. "I think that might help with her perspective a bit."

"I can't properly defend my position without criticizing their father," Gloria replied. "And they won't hear a word against him. In their eyes, I was the one who filed for the divorce and split up the family, and I made the choice to fade from their lives."

"Did you have any support when you were going through this divorce?" asked Red. "What did Lourdes' say about all of this?"

"She was upset," Gloria said matter-of-factly. "She didn't believe in divorce, or having babies out of wedlock." She tugged a strand of Red's hair playfully. "Back then she would have been adamantly opposed to same-sex relationships too, but I did a pretty fine job of mellowing her over the years...my disaster of a life kept her in a near constant state of shock."

"She told me before that you only got married because of her," Red said.

"Yup," Gloria nodded. "When I told her I was pregnant, the first thing she said to me was that I needed to get married and make it right."

"Weren't you a teenager?" said Red.

"I was sixteen," Gloria shrugged. "Old enough to get married with her permission." She sighed. "Tia thought she was doing what was best for me. The last thing she had wanted was for me to end up like my mother-knocked up and abandoned before the baby was even born."

"And Daniel proposed just like that?" Red asked. "Because Lourdes' told him he had to?"

"He went along with it," Gloria shrugged. "Got me a nice ring and did everything proper like a perfect gentleman. That's how he is though, everything needs to look good on paper."

"But behind the scenes?" Red asked dryly.

"He wasn't faithful for a minute," Gloria said bitterly. "He just cared about appearances. He used to have all these little rules that I needed to follow to maintain the facade."

"Like what?" Red asked quietly.

"Dressing nicely, wearing my hair long because it was how he liked it," Gloria smiled sarcastically, and ran her hand over her short locks. She looked thoughtful, and Red watched as her small smile was replaced by a defeated grimace. "He didn't like me going places with our daughters without him. He didn't trust me."

"What do you mean, didn't trust you?" Red frowned.

"To look after them properly," Gloria explained sadly. "He didn't think I could manage on my own. We always had to wait to go out until he got home from work. And he'd often come home on his lunch breaks to make sure that I had remembered to change the baby and feed her."

"What the hell?" Red looked outraged.

"Yeah," Gloria nodded her. "In his defense, I had bad postpartum depression. My head was basically always in the clouds after I had Val. I think he just wanted to be cautious…. but he always made me feel like such an idiot."

"That's because he was a jerk," Red said bluntly. "Don't make excuses for him. The way he made you feel probably contributed to you your postpartum depression. He should have been building you up, not treating you like an incompetent mother! And if postpartum depression was a concern, then he should have helped you and been compassionate."

"He didn't have time for that," Gloria scoffed. "He was too busy playing father of the year. As soon as the cord was cut, he came into the room and took Valentina out of my arms. He wouldn't let me breastfeed-said I ate too poor a diet to make good milk for her. And whenever she'd cry he would get mad at me if I couldn't get her to stop right away. He made me so nervous and then she would just cry more."

"Because she could sense your stress," Red replied. "It wasn't because you were doing anything wrong."

"I realized that when I had Julio," Gloria smiled at the thought of her first son. "After he was born, he and I just got to lie around in bed together hanging out. Nobody interrupted us or took him from me, we just got to know one another. And I always knew exactly what he needed." She laughed bitterly. "But that's what happens when you had a baby with a man who is hiding you from his wife and family. You get to spend a lot of time alone."

"How long were you with the boys' father?" asked Red.

"Oh, Benny was like nine months-ten?" Gloria thought about it. "He kept saying he was going to get a divorce from his wife and tell her about us. But that was a lie."

"She never found out he had two sons with you?" Red was astonished.

"Nope," Gloria shook her head. "His name wasn't even on the birth certificates. He asked me to put down father as 'unknown'...and like an idiot I did."

"Why were you with him?" Red asked directly. "Did you know he was married from the start?"

"Early on enough," Gloria admitted. "I just didn't care, I guess." she rubbed her face. "I tried not to think about his wife or kids when he was with me."

"You loved him?" Red asked bluntly.

Gloria shrugged. "I think it was more than he made _me_ feel loved," she admitted. "And I was desperate for someone to make me feel like that." She shook her head and looked defeated, "not that that is any excuse."

"It's alright," Red whispered softly. She crawled her hands around to Gloria's back and hugged her.

"Because after I filed for divorce, I walked with nothing," Gloria confessed, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Danny got full custody and he made my life hell when I tried to get visitation. I moved back in with Lourdes, and it was hard. I felt like such an idiot. Then I met Leo, and I fell pretty hard for him. He was married but that was almost just a technicality. He made a good living and he helped me get set up in an apartment of my own...so at least I wasn't as big of a burden on Lourdes."

"And then you had the two boys with him?" Red clarified.

"Yep," Gloria nodded. "Julio was a surprise. I thought Leo would be angry because he was still married, but he was excited. I thought a baby might be enough incentive for him to finally leave her for me, but it wasn't." She sighed sadly. "Two babies weren't even. I finally got fed up and left him."

"And you never went to court for child support payments or anything?" Red asked.

"No," Gloria shook her head. "I was adamantly opposed to doing that."

"Why?" Red asked in confusion.

"Because he was a man with a house, a good job, health insurance….and I was just like a kept woman who could barely make ends meet." Gloria blinked rapidly and a few teardrops escapes from her lashes.

"That's why he should have needed to take responsibility and help you," Red replied.

"I was too scared," Gloria admitted softly. "I was worried that he'd want retribution if I outed him to his wife by going to court for support or asking for anything. I was so afraid that he would try to take the boys from me."

"He couldn't have," Red sounded outraged.

Gloria stared back at her sadly. "He could have argued in court about how much more he had to offer them, pointed out that I had two other children that were in the custody of their father, instead of me."

"Oh, Gloria-"

"So, I promised him I would keep his secret and never ask anything of him," Gloria said quietly. "And then I packed up my boys, knocked on Lourdes' door, and begged for help. She was furious with me, but she took us in."

"Furious about the affair?" asked Red.

Gloria nodded. "She didn't approve, obviously." She scoffed. "Well, who would? It was wrong of me."

"It was even more wrong of him," Red replied, not sure what else she could say. Red knew what it was like to be betrayed by your husband and another woman. But for the husband to father a whole other family behind your back, brought that betrayal to a whole other level. She felt sympathy for the unknown wife. But her heart hurt for Gloria in the situation too. She knew that Gloria would not have done such a thing again. "He was the one who made vows he broke," she added.

"He wasn't great," Gloria agreed. "But I thought I loved him at the time. I didn't _really_ though."

"He never contacted you or the boys after?" Red frowned.

"Never," said Gloria. "He didn't want anything to do with them. I don't think his wife ever found out they existed. They're invisible."

"That's very sad," Red said quietly.

Gloria nodded. "The only father-figure they ever knew was Arturo. Julio was only two when I left Leo, he has no memory of him."

"Arturo," Red repeated the name coldly. "I'm so sorry that you all had to endure that."

"Again, my choice, my fault," Gloria said weakly. "I invited him to live with us. I made excuses when he would act weirdly possessive over me, even towards the boys."

"Like how?" Red asked softly.

"He wouldn't let them crawl into bed with us, he'd always make me take them back," Gloria sighed. "I wasn't allowed to kiss them on the lips...I don't know, he was jealous of them. One time he came home and I was having a bath. Julio was sitting on the bathroom floor just talking to me-I think he was five or six at the time. Well, Arturo acted like I was trying to seduce my child or something.

"What a sick f**k!" Red exclaimed in horror. "You know you weren't doing anything wrong, right?"

"Yeah," Gloria mumbled, not sounding entirely convinced. "I just went along with what he said so that he wouldn't get angry. Arturo was so passionate and attentive to me. We did have a lot of good moments-at least in the beginning we did."

"You mean, before he started beating the living daylights out of you?" Red couldn't keep the anger out of her voice. Gloria let out a whimper and allowed her head to fall forward, resting it upon Red's shoulder. Red tightened her arms around her, holding her close, trying to express as much comfort as she could.

"He only did that a couple of times," Gloria muttered.

"Don't defend him," Red told her coldly.

"I'm just saying, I was with him for nearly five years-and most of the time he didn't hurt me," Gloria said, feeling slightly defensive at Red's disapproval. She didn't need her judgement, Gloria judged herself enough for all her stupidity every day.

"I just can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you," Red said softly. "I wish I had been there…."

"If we had known one another back then, I think both of our lives would have turned out very different," Gloria sighed. "But at least we have one another now."

"I'm glad you're telling me this," Red said. "You shouldn't keep it all in."

A tear slowly slid its way down Gloria's cheek. "Remember…. remember this afternoon, when you asked what I had been talking to Klara about?"

"Yes," Red replied. She kissed Gloria's hair.

"She told me she had had several miscarriages, when she had been younger," said Gloria.

"That's sad," Red said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I know," Gloria said quietly. "I found it very sad because it made me think about the baby that I lost…. mine and Arturo's."

"What?" Red looked astonished.

"Yeah," Gloria nodded, and so many tears spewed from her eyes that her entire face was damp. "I named her Hope."

"Hope," Red whispered back.

"I mean, it might not have been a girl," Gloria shook her head. "It could have been a boy-but I sort of had a feeling. Anyway, I was so early on when I lost it-I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was already miscarrying."

"That must have been terrible for you," Red said softly. "What did Arturo say about it?"

Gloria shook her head and sucked in her breath, rendered momentarily speechless. "Gloria?" Red asked concernedly. "Honey?"

"He pushed me," Gloria croaked, her voice shaky with trepidation. "I got bumped really badly." She chanced a glimpse at Red's face and then buried her face back against her beck again. She couldn't stand the horrified look in Red's big blue eyes. "It hurt so….so bad," she choked out. "Way more than a little bump should have hurt me...I didn't understand it." She swallowed something like bile, her nails clawed into Red's shoulder, her feet twitched on the floor. "And then I went to the bathroom and saw all of the blood….it took a moment to realize what was happening."

"Oh my God," Red breathed. "Gloria-"

"The worst thing about this is that that wasn't the last time," Gloria said shakily. "I stayed and let him do it again...and again. But he didn't know I was pregnant and the miscarriage WAS an accident. He didn't necessarily cause it."

"Oh, he caused it," Red said angrily.

"But he didn't know that I was pregnant," Gloria whispered. "I didn't even know I was pregnant-I thought I was too old to get pregnant. I was like, forty-four at the time."

"My mother-in-law was forty when she had Dmitri," said Red.

"But a miscarriage probably would have happened anyway," Gloria said quietly. "I was too old to have another baby."

"I don't think so, Gloria," Red said honestly. "But even if it would have happened anyway-Arturo never should have pushed you."

"I know," Gloria agreed.

"I'm sorry you lost your baby," Red said sadly.

Gloria sighed. "I wouldn't have been there for it anyway," she said in defeat. "If the baby had lived-I'd have gone to prison before she was in kindergarten. It would have just been another mouth for Lourdes' to feed."

"You're still allowed to grieve," Red told her.

Gloria reached up to stroke her own neck. She smiled as she touched the place where she knew her tattoo was. It was an image of a bird, a swallow. "This is my Hope," Gloria confessed. She reached for Red's hand and then brought it up to lay on her neck, covering her tattoo."

"You got it for the baby?" Red asked.

"Yes," Gloria nodded. "I got it on my neck so that it couldn't be hidden-I'd always wanted a tattoo when I was younger, but Daniel wouldn't let me get one when we were married."

"Why did you pick a bird?" Red asked.

"It's from a story Lourdes' used to tell me when I was a child," Gloria explained. "That when a sailor drowns, the Swallow bird carries their soul to heaven. It's a symbol of freedom...and of hope." She took a deep breath to steady herself, before she continued. "So, I got it for my angel baby, in the hopes that when I die, my baby will come back to me and we'll get to be together in heaven."

"I'm sure you will be," Red replied.

Gloria shrugged weakly. "So that's that," she said, with a little wave of her hands.

"That's what?" asked Red.

"My secrets," Gloria explained simply. "You have all my secrets-I never told that story to anybody before. Lourdes never found out about my miscarriage...she'd have killed Arturo if she had."

"I wish she would have," Red said bluntly.

"I don't," Gloria said sadly. "I don't know what it is about me but I just can't bring myself to hate him. We had good times too, and he was very sick."

"It's because you have the most beautiful heart of anybody I know," Red said softly.

"Will you love me right now?" Gloria asked her softy. She stood up and went to pull back the blankets of the bed for them. She beckoned Red over as she slid beneath the covers first. "Will you just make me feel better right now?"

"Anyway, I can," Red replied. She crawled into the bed beside her. Her arm curved over Gloria's head on the pillow and her other hand rested on her abdomen. She couldn't stop thinking of the four-no five-babies that Gloria had given life to. That she had held and loved within her, and then sent out into the world to resent her. There had to be more to all of this. Gloria deserved more,

Gloria grabbed her hand and pulled it down lower. Red could feel the heat radiating off of her there, and she lifted up the front of her nightgown so she could rest her hand on her bare skin. "Touch me," Gloria pleaded. "Help me forget-"

"Forget?" Red questioned.

"For a little while," Gloria whispered. "I didn't want to talk about all of this when we're supposed to be happy tonight. I mean, I didn't buy sexy lingerie just to cry in. Can we get back to doing what we should be doing?"

"I'm glad that you told me all of this tonight," Red said softly. "Because I want to know and love every part of you." She kissed Gloria's lips as she caressed her the way she knew she desired. Gloria's body surrendered into her comforting touch, the same way they had surrendered to the truth tonight. There was nothing being withheld.


	25. Chapter 26

Gloria glanced at her appearance anxiously in the bedroom full-length mirror. She smoothed down the long pale blue sweater she was wearing, paired with a pair of black leggings. She thought she looked nice, but casual enough. She didn't want it to seem like she was trying too hard, but she had been getting ready to go out for over an hour. She couldn't shake the nervous anticipation she was feeling, the eagerness to get there mixed with the desire to pull the covers up over her head and go to sleep instead.

"Hey, mom?" a voice on the other side of the door said.

"Come in," Gloria called, turning away from her reflection to stare at the door. "You look nice," she nodded approvingly, as Julio stepped into the room and sat down on the bed. He was wearing a pair of jeans with a blue button up shirt.

"About that…" Julio said hesitantly. "Would you hate me if I decided not to go with you tonight? I really don't want to…"

"What do you mean 'don't want to'?" Gloria frowned. She folded her arms across her chest and looked down at her son.

"Come on, mom," Julio sighed. "I barely know them. Even more than that, it's really awkward. Besides, I just got asked out."

"Out where?" Gloria asked. She walked over to Red's jewellery box and pulled out a delicate pair of pearl earrings that she had always admired, but which Red never wore. She turned around to look at her son, while she stuck one into her ear lobe and then the the other.

"Just out," Julio said vaguely. At the look of suspicion on his mother's face, Julio sighed. "Out with a girl from my calculus class, alright?"

"Ohhhh," Gloria said knowingly. "What's her name?"

"Bethany," Julio replied. "And that's all you're going to get out of me right now."

"Why?" Gloria complained. "What do you think I'd do?"

"Humiliate me," Julio joked. He held up a hand. "Kidding," he told her. "But it's too soon to tell you anymore than that. We went out for the first time last Saturday."

"Oh, so she's the reason you abandoned your brother," Gloria nodded. "You know he doesn't like to be alone at night-"

"I know," Julio said apologetically. "But I was home by eleven for him. Besides, he needs to get used to that eventually right?""

"He does," Gloria agreed. "I didn't mean that you _shouldn't_ have gone out. I'm glad you did...but you seriously won't reschedule for me right now?"

"Do I have to?" Julio asked reluctantly.

Gloria sighed. "No," she said, "you don't _have_ to."

"Thanks," Julio sounded relieved. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent off a text message to Bethany. "'I'll see you tonight, mom!" He got up from the bed and hurried out of the room.

"You owe me," Gloria called down the hall after him. Once she was alone, she slumped down onto the bed and sighed. She had sort of been counting on having Julio with her, as as sort of security blanket while she walked into a home of estranged family members. It probably was wrong for her to have been hoping to depend on her son that way, but Julio had always been like a rock to her. He made everything better.

"What's happening?" Gloria asked gruffly, a few moments later when she emerged from the bedroom to join Red and Benny in the kitchen.

"You look nice, mom," Benny grinned charmingly. He was sitting at the kitchen table, grazing on grapes that had been laid out on the heavily laden table. Red was taking everything out of the refrigerator so that she could deep clean all of the shelves.

"You don't," Gloria told him bluntly. "What are you doing in those clothes?" Red eyed Gloria concernedly, as she carried some vegetables from the crisper over to the table. She laid them down and then looked between the mother and son, watching the interaction.

"What's wrong with them?" Benny asked, looking down at his graphic t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms.

"We need to leave for dinner in ten minutes," Gloria reminded him, pointing at the clock on the wall.

"Oh, I'm not going," Benny said casually. "I told you that already."

"Yeah...and I said, too bad," Gloria replied.

"I thought that meant for you," Benny sighed and he reached to pluck another grape from the bowl on the table. "Hey!" he cried, as Red swatted his hand away. "What was that for?"

"You told me that your mother was fine with you not going," Red scolded him. She picked up the bowl of grapes and moved it to the other side of the table, out of Benny's reach.

"I don't want to go," Benny complained. "How come Julio managed to get out of it?"

"Why are you both so against going?" Gloria asked sadly. "How are things ever going to get better if you all won't even be in the same room together?"

"Gloria, maybe that's why he shouldn't go," Red spoke up. "I don't want you to have to worry about how they are getting along." She placed a hand on Benny's shoulder and her nails dug into his his flesh. "Besides, we both know that this guy isn't the best company when he's already decided beforehand that he doesn't want to be somewhere."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Benny frowned, looking up at her. He wasn't sure if he was being insulted or defended. Maybe it was a bit of both.

"Please," Red rolled her eyes. "I don't want you going there and pulling the same faces you used to wear around me in the beginning."

"I was just shy," Benny insisted.

"You always looked like you had just swallowed a lemon," Red told him.

"I didn't-" Benny spoke up, "That was just cause-"

"Shush," Red ruffled his hair. "I know." She moved back towards the fridge, but couldn't take her eyes off of Gloria. She wasn't sure if Gloria was upset about her interfering, by defending Benny' desire to stay home. She just didn't think dragging him along when he was already reluctant was the best thing for anyone. The girls already felt like Gloria had replaced them with the boys, they probably would be more receptive to just time alone with their mother.

"Fine," Gloria sighed in defeat. "Stay home." She went over to the door to put her shoes on. "But you're not going to be able to hide forever, you know? I'm sick of this family being divided into two separate teams. Valentina and Carmen are your sisters."

"Then how come she's not going?" Benny asked, pointing a finger behind his head to where Red had retreated.

"I wasn't asked, Benny," Red said calmly. "And that's alright. Your sisters want time with their mother, not me." She picked up a rag and the bottle of spritz. "Which is why I think it's fine if you don't go either," she walked back over and dropped the cleaning supplies down on the table in front of him. " I doubt you'll be very missed."

"Thanks a lot!" Benny exclaimed.

"Now, are you finished running your mouth?" Red asked him. "If you are, you can stop being an observer and help me clean the kitchen."

"That's right," Gloria nodded, as she slipped her hands into her jacket. "Put him to work, Red."

"You're always making me work," Benny complained to his mother. "I washed so many dishes yesterday I'm going to end up with old lady hands." He caught a glimpse of Red frowning as she looked down at her own hands. "Not that there is anything wrong with that," he added quickly. With a sigh, he picked up the rag Red had set before him, and went over to scrub out the shelves of the refrigerator.

"Are you going to be okay?" Red asked Gloria, noting the way she was ringing her hands anxiously together.

"Mhmm," Gloria nodded. "Just a little nervous….it feels like I'm headed to a job interview or something." She buttoned up her coat and then smoothed back her hair. "I look okay?" she asked.

"Lovely," Red replied. "Just try to relax. You're going to have a nice evening."

Gloria gave her a begrudging smile. "I'll see you tonight," she reminded, and walked over to kiss her cheek. "Benny?" She called, looking over at her son who was halfway into the fridge he was cleaning.

"Can't hear," Benny's voice was muffled. He finished scrubbing a stubborn spot and then poked his head out. "What did you say?"

"Goodbye," Gloria told him simply.

XXXX

She hadn't wanted to do this alone, was all Gloria could think after she gave the cab driver Valentina's address and then leaned back in her seat, watching the traffic go by. She knew it was probably better this way. The boys hadn't wanted to go and Gloria really couldn't blame them. They had never been close with Valentina or Carmen, they had barely spent any time together. That they shared a mother was nothing more than a technicality, and for the girls it was a source of bitter resentment. Maybe someday there could be a relationship between all of her children, but for that to happen, first her daughters needed to reconnect with her.

"Is this the right street?" Gloria asked her driver.

"That's the right house," the driver replied, pointing out the passenger window to the house he had parked out front of.

"Thanks," Gloria said quietly, as she handed over the bills for the cab fare. She slung her purse over one shoulder and stepped out of the car.

She looked up at the handsome townhouse in amazement. It was a beautiful grey-brick building that looked large and immaculately maintained from the outside. It was a newer development and it a quiet, more elite part of the area. As she headed to the door, Gloria stopped to admire the stone design of the walkay. On the porch was a varnished bench that looked to be an inviting place to sit and chat with someone on nice evenings. Gloria gripped the knocker in her hand and rapped on the door with it twice. She could hear some voices chatting and then the door was opened.

"Hi," Carmen smiled. "Come in." She held an arm out to hug her mother lightly and then quickly moved back. "Valentina is just finishing up dinner in the kitchen," she pointed down the hallway. "I'll be back in a sec...you actually caught me right in the middle of a game of hide and seek." With that, she turned to run up the grand curved staircase to the upper level, leaving Gloria standing alone in the foyer.

"Alright then," Gloria muttered to herself, once Carmen had left. She pulled off her shoes and set them neatly on the mat to the side of the door. She slipped out of her jacket and then pursed her lips as she glanced around for somewhere to hang it.

Just then a young man with a heavier build, curly brown hair, and a round kindly looking face, walked down the hall. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants with a plain black t-shirt. Benny would have been annoyed with her for making him dress up to meet this guy. "Hi," he greeted her with a smile. "Let me take your coat for you."

"Thank you," Gloria told him politely. "Which one are you? Ian or David?"

"Ian," Ian replied, as he offered her a hand to shake. "I'm Valentina's husband. It's nice to finally meet you, Gloria."

"It's very nice to meet you," Gloria replied sincerely. She shook her son-in-law's hand and couldn't help looking him up and down. Judging by this gorgeous house, Ian had to make a very good living, but she was surprised by him. He wasn't the type she would have expected her beautiful and sophisticated daughter to marry, but Ian smiled at her warmly as he pushed his glasses up his nose, and Gloria could feel herself immediately relaxing.

"Why don't you come join us in the living room?" Ian suggested. "Val is just putting the finishing touches on dinner and she doesn't like people in the kitchen with her when she works." He chuckled good-humouredly. "She's an amazing cook though," he patted his larger stomach appreciatively.

"Your home is beautiful," Gloria exclaimed, taking in the crown molding and the carefully chosen pieces of art that hung on the walls.

"Thank you," Ian replied. He motioned to abstract painting that they passed. "Collecting art has always been a passion of mine. My mother was an Art History teacher. I'm more into modern creations from newer unheard of artists, but I inherited a lot of important pieces that my mom had collected over her life. And Val and I bought several when we went on our honeymoon to Italy."

"That's amazing," Gloria told him. "And this house is like a work of art in itself. Are you an artist?"

"No," Ian chuckled. "I missed that gene, I'm afraid. I can only appreciate the art that other people create. I'm a computer engineer, by trade."

"That's pretty incredible," Gloria said honestly. They stepped down into a sunken living room that was done completely in wood finishing. Even the wall was a strained honey oak. There was a stonewalled fireplace with a roaring fire that made the large space seem cosy and inviting. The enormous television was set to sportscenter. A tall, broad shouldered, black man was staring at the screen with his hands stretched over his head as he lounged back in a recliner.

"David," Ian called to announce their arrival, "this is Gloria."

David pointed the remote at the tv screen to turn down the volume and then got to his feet. "Nice to meet you," he smiled politely. He grabbed Gloria's hand to shake. Her hand felt almost doll-like in his strong grip.

"I'm glad to meet you too," Gloria smiled.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Ian offered, he walked over to the bar set up in the corner of the room. Gloria walked over to follow him. "We have everything. And, I don't like to brag, but I make really good _Manhattans_."

"Ian always likes to brag about his specialty drinks, but then complains that he gets stuck bartending whenever we have parties," David joked.

"Well, if you're offering, I'll take one," Gloria replied. She sat down on one the barstools and watched as her son-in-law began to concoct her drink.

"Man, if you're taking requests, I wouldn't mind a _Whiskey Sour_ ," David hinted. He sat down on the stool beside Gloria.

"I thought you told Carmen you wouldn't drink," Ian reminded him.

"We're meeting our girls' mother for the first time," David replied, winking at Gloria. "I think that deserves a celebratory toast or something."

"So how did you all meet?" Gloria asked them. She accepted the drink Ian handed to her and murmured a note of thanks.

"Val and I met in college," Ian told her. "I was majoring in computers and she was majoring in history, but we were required to take electives outside our field of studies. We met in a course on Environmental studies when we were put on the same team for a group project. I asked her out on the last day of class and we've been together ever since."

"Oh, that's really nice," Gloria smiled. She took a sip of the drink he had fixed her. "And this is amazing," she nodded at her glass. It had been exactly what she needed to relax around these two guys. They both seemed really nice to her, and Gloria was only slightly troubled that neither of her daughters had yet come out to join them.

"Carmen started working for the dentist I've gone to my entire life," David told her. "She cleaned my teeth and told me off for not flossing better. I thought she was cute."

"Aww, I heard that," a voice called behind them. Gloria turned to see Carmen walking into the room, with a beautiful little girl on her back. Gabriella's face was ducked behind her aunt's shoulder, so Gloria could only make out the one hazel eye that was peering at her. She had long curly brown hair, and the nails on the hands she had wrapped around Carmen's neck were painted a light pink.

"Down you go," Carmen said, crouching down so that Gabriella could climb off of her. "Tia needs a break. Besides, I told you that I needed you to come out and say hi to someone." She glanced over at Gloria who had turned in her chair but had not yet made an effort to come closer. "She's shy," Carmen explained to Gloria apologetically. "And a bit wary of strangers. She didn't want to come out of her room."

"That's okay," Gloria replied. "I just can't get over what a beautiful little girl you are, Gabriella. You look just like your mother did when she was your age." Gabriella blushed and hid behind Carmen's legs.

"Come over here, Sweetie," Ian beckoned his daughter closer. "Come say hi to your Nonna." He shook his head. "Oh," he touched Gloria's arm apologetically. "I didn't ask what you would prefer her to call you...that's just what I always called my grandmother. And since Grandma is already taken, we didn't want her to get confused."

"That's fine," Gloria told him breathlessly, her eyes on Gabriella as she slowly walked over to her father's side. "Personally, I feel too young to be called Grandma."

Ian scooped his daughter into his arms. She was dressed in a pair of flowered printed leggings and a pink sweater with a picture of a cat on the front. "I like your kitty," Gloria told her. "Sort of reminds me of my kitty at home."

"Gabby loves cats," Ian told Gloria. "Don't you sweetie?"

"I want one for my birthday," Gabby reminded her father shyly. Her sweet little voice was barely above a whisper. She buried her face against his chest.

"How old are you going to be on your birthday?" Gloria asked.

"How old?" Ian prodded his daughter with a gentle shake. Gabriella stuck out a wide-spread hand in Gloria's direction, and then held her thumb up on the other. She did this while keeping her face firmly pressed against her father.

"Six!" Gloria exclaimed. "You're such a big girl. I guess that must mean you go to school too, huh?"

Gabby nodded, making her curls bounce. Gloria couldn't take her eyes off the little girl, who was so shy but at the time just so positively endearing. "Daddy," Gabriella said softly.

"Yes?" Ian replied.

"I want to go see mommy now," Gabby told him, wiggling to get out of his arms.

"Okay," Ian agreed, setting both her feet back down on the ground. "Why don't you go see how supper is coming? And tell her to come out here to say hi to Nonna if she has a minute."

"Come on, Tia," Gabby reached for Carmen's hand. She tugged her out of the room and down the hall in the direction of the kitchen.

"She's gorgeous," Gloria told Ian. She took a long sip of her drink. "Does she ever play with Alexei, Lida's son? They're about the same age."

"Valentina and Lida have met with the kids at the park a few times," Ian replied, "and Lida is bringing her kids to Gabby's birthday party in a couple of weeks."

"Oh, nice," Gloria replied.

"You should come too," Ian told Gloria. "We're just doing it at the house here."

"Will Daniel and Sarai be there?" Gloria asked him warily, taking another sip of her drink.

"Oh yeah," Ian nodded. "Of course, they will be. But if you're okay with that, then you're welcome to come too. You could bring your partner and sons too."

"Dinner's ready," Valentina called, as she walked into the living room. She smiled stiffly at Gloria. "Hi," she said, and opened her arms up to embrace her mother. "Sorry I didn't come say hello before, I was cooking…"

"That's alright," Gloria replied.

"The guys kept you company though?" Valentina asked, glancing at her husband.

"Yes," Gloria smiled graciously at the two men.

"Good," Valentina replied. "Come on, I'll show you to the dining room." They walked back up the hall they had come through, and turned into a kitchen that Red would have sold her soul for. All the appliances were Stainless Steel, there was a an entire wall just dedicated to spices, a center island for prepping food on, with pots and pans hung above. They passed through the kitchen and into the dining room.

Gabriella was already seated at the long rectangular table with Carmen beside her. The walls were painted the lightest shade of peach and a beautiful chandelier hung from the ceiling. A large painting of 'The Last Supper' was displayed. Valentina had candles lit in the center of the table and had put all the dishes of food down along the table runner.

"Candles?" Ian asked his wife in surprise. Valentina shrugged. "Beautiful, honey," Ian smiled. "I guess I should have put on some nicer clothes if I had known supper was going to be so fancy."

"It's not fancy, it's just a couple of candles," Valentina told him. "Everyone eat before the food gets cold." She glanced at Gloria. "I have two bottles of wine for supper. Would you prefer white or red?"

"Hmm, red," Gloria answered.

"I'll do that," Ian said, reaching for the corkscrew that Valentina had just pulled out of the glass cabinet. "Sit down, Val. You've done enough today."

"Am I allowed to have some wine, or will it start a thing?" David whispered teasingly to Carmen.

"You can do whatever you want so long as you're still decent when it's time to leave," Carmen replied. She looked across the table at Gloria. "We have tickets to a concert tonight, so we're not going to be able to stay too long, unfortunately."

"We try to get tickets as often as we can," David explained. "I prefer sports, but Carmen likes to go to concerts."

"So, we usually take turns picking our date nights," Carmen added, smiling at her boyfriend.

"What kind of sports do you like?" Gloria asked conversationally, as she accepted a dish of rice that was handed to her by Valentina.

"I played football in college," David replied. "But basketball is my favourite to play now, I think."

"My son loves basketball," Gloria told him. She held out her glass for Ian to pour the wine into. He walked around the table serving everyone. When he got to Gabriella, he switched for the grape juice he had gone to fetch from the kitchen. Gabby even had a little plastic wine glass of her own to drink from, so she wouldn't feel left out.

Valentina had prepared a pork roast for dinner and it was delicious. She was quiet as they all enjoyed helpings of her wonderful cooking. Gloria supposed she was feeling uncomfortable, although the obvious effort that she had put into the meal gave Gloria a glimmer of hope. Through most of the meal, Ian and David kept up a steady flow of conversation which told Gloria that they had mutually agreed to pretend they didn't notice the obvious tension that existed between the mother and her two daughters. Gloria enjoyed them, they seemed like really great guys. There was a healthy respect for their partners that was quite apparent, and it was obvious to Gloria that both of her daughters were very much adored by their men.

Gabriella didn't say anything to Gloria and nobody pressured her to. She ate everything on her plate and even asked for more broccoli, with a please and a thank you. She was a very sweet little girl and had excellent manners.

Valentina busied herself with her daughter through most of dinner so that she wouldn't need to talk to anyone else. When everyone's plates had been cleared, she stood up to take all of their plates.

"Let me help you," Gloria offered.

"Okay," Valentina replied with a shrug, "thank you."

They cleared off the table and then Valentina showed Gloria the dessert she had stowed away in the fridge. "Will you grab the bowls and spoons?" Valentina asked.

"Sure," Gloria replied. She looked at the coconut and cinnamon pudding that Valentina had just taken out. "Tembleque?" she asked with a smile.

"My favourite," Valentina replied.

"I remember," Gloria said quietly, as she counted out six dessert forks. "Do you remember how we used to make it together and then eat it after mass on Christmas Eve?"

"Gabby likes to help me make it now," Valentina said quietly. "We made it this afternoon." She carried the dish back into the dining room. Gloria followed closely behind her.

"Mommy, is it dessert time?" Gabriella asked eagerly, her hazel eyes glimmered with excitement as she stared at the delicious pudding she had helped to prepare.

"Yes, it is," Valentina replied. She dished her daughter a bowl of dessert first and then served everyone else. She didn't say much more to Gloria, instead talking to her sister, about her and David's plans for the evening.

As soon as they were finished eating, Carmen and David shared a long look with each other. "Well, I guess we should get going," Carmen said, nodding at her boyfriend who echoed his agreement. "I'm sorry we can't stay longer…"

"Tia, you're going?" Gabriella pouted. "I wanted you to stay and play in my princess castle."

"Next time, love," Carmen replied, leaning down to kiss the top of her niece's head. "I'll come visit you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Gabriella sighed.

Carmen waled around the table to give her mother a brief hug before she left. David shook her hand and said it had been a pleasure, and Gloria felt assured that he was telling the truth. Carmen and David made a striking pair. Both tall and attractive, with David's broadness making him seem protective of his tinier girlfriend. They were a more likely couple than Valentina and Ian, who seemed far more oddly matched, in Gloria's opinion. But Ian had already won Gloria's heart with his kindness and unassuming charm. Both of the men seemed to be trying to overcompensate for the women's aloofness, and they had all enjoyed a nice evening.

Once Carmen and David had made their departure, Gloria took a final sip from her wine glass and decided it would probably be best to help clean-up and get going herself. She didn't want Valentina to feel like she was overstaying her welcome, and being invited to share a dinner with them seemed like plenty for now. She didn't want her daughter to feel overwhelmed.

Partially out of her chair, intending to clear the dessert dishes before someone else could get to them, Gloria flinched in surprise when Ian wrapped his hand around her wrist. "Those can wait," he said dismissively. He looked at his daughter. "Gabby? Why don't we go look at your princess castle? Tia isn't the only one who can appreciate a pretty castle."

"Okay," Gabriella agreed, scurrying out of her chair. "Come on everyone!"

Ian smiled up at Gloria and let go of her arm. Gloria giggled and walked around the table so that she could follow Gabriella. She took Ian's suggestion as an invitation to stay and play for a little while longer. She had barely gotten to speak to her granddaughter at ll yet. "Where's your castle?" she asked, "in your bedroom?"

"In my playroom," Gabriella replied. She led Gloria back out into the hallway and opened a door that led down a carpeted staircase to the basement. Gloria grabbed the banister and followed her down to the finished space. It was an open room that had shelves upon shelves of books, toys, and stuffed animals. In the center of it all was a large playhouse designed to look like a castle. There was even a ladder to climb to the top and slide down.

"That's my castle," Gabriella explained simply. "You wanna see inside?"

"Sure," Gloria replied. She had to laugh when Gabriella opened the door and crawled in first. TO a child, the structure was huge, but Gloria could barely squeeze in. But she went inside anyway and sat cross legged on the floor as she took it all in. There was a small little kitchen, and a table with two tiny chairs.

"You want a chair?" Gabriella asked.

"I don't think I can fit on that, sweetie," Gloria laughed honestly.

"Yes, you can," Gabriella told her. "Here, watch me." She sat down on one of the plastic chairs and pointed at the other one across from her. Giving in, Gloria crouched on the other chair.

Gabriella nodded her approval. "Do you want to watch me go down the slide now?" she asked.

"Yeah," Gloria nodded. Relieved to be able to crawl out of the cramped playhouse, Gloria followed her granddaughter back out the little door. Valentina and Ian had not yet come downstairs which surprised Gloria, who had thought they were right behind them. But Gabriella did not seem to be bothered or looking for them. She slid down the slide sitting, then face first, then backwards, while Gloria watched attentively.

"Look at all your princess clothes," Gloria exclaimed, as she opened a trunk that was filled with dress-up costumes. She pulled out a plastic tiara. "And this could be your princess crown!"

Gabriella came over and took the crown from Gloria. She rested it on top of her curls and then, with one hand holding it in place, leaned over into the trunk and pulled out a pink dress and a blue one, before she settled on a gown in emerald green. "Will you help me put it on?" she asked. Gloria held out the dress for Gabriella to slip into, and then zipped up the back for her.

"I look beautiful," Gabriella sang, spinning around in a circle.

"The most beautiful princess I've ever seen," Gloria agreed with a smile.

Gabriella stopped spinning and went back to look in the box. "I have a crown for you too," she said generously. She rummaged for a second one and then handed it to Gloria, who immediatley put it on her head.

"Now, quick!" Gabriella gasped. "We have to hide from the dragon...he's coming!" And grabbing Gloria by the hand, she pulled her back inside the playhouse castle.

Gloria couldn't stop laughing as she engaged fully with her granddaughter in her make believe game. She had no memories of every getting lost in make believe before, not since she was a little girl herself. She had always been too stressed or hassled to get down on the floor and fully engage in imagination with her own children. But she was fully immersed in Gabriella's creativity and her joy now.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Gabriella cried, running over to embrace her parents who at long last had come downstairs to join them. "Nonna and I escaped the dragon. He wanted to take us to his lair and steal our crowns!"

"How did you get away?" Valentina gasped in mock horror.

"We hid in the castle," Gabriella pointed at her playhouse, "and we had to be _very_ quiet. Shush" She brought a finger to her lips and looked at all three adults through her enormous hazel eyes.

"This is an amazing set-up you have for her down here," Gloria told them, referring to the enormous playroom. Gabriella was a very blessed little girl, a recipient of the stability and privilege that Gloria had only ever dreamed of being able to provide for Julio and Benny.

"Yeah, it's pretty good," Ian agreed. "When she's a little older she will be able to have sleepovers down here with her friends. And all the kids will be able to hang out down here for the birthday party in a couple of weeks. Have you decided if you're coming?" At Valentina's questioning stare, Ian smiled serenely and added. "Two weeks from today, at two o'clock," he added. "Right?" he asked his wife.

"Yeah," Valentina nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable. "You can come if you want, but Daddy and Sarai are going to be there too, you know."

"I know," Gloria replied. "I need a little more time to think about it."

"There will be cake," Gabriella spoke up, trying to sell Gloria on the idea as she caught the tail-end of their conversation. She slid down the slide of her playhouse. "Chocolate cake with green icing," she added.

"You said you wanted blue yesterday," Valentina reminded her daughter.

"I changed my mind," Gabriella replied. "Now I want green, like this dress." She motioned to the princess costume she was still wearing. "I want to wear this dress to my birthday party."

"You'll be beautiful," Valentina smiled.

"And we still have a little time to decide what colour frosting you want," Ian added. "You can come to the bakery and help pick out your cake yourself."

"But right now, it's time to go to bed," Valentina told her.

"Oh, mom!" Gabriella groaned.

"None of that," Valentina told her. "We let you stay up and play a whole hour later tonight because it was a special occasion," she glanced at Gloria. "But now it's time to get some sleep. We have church in the morning."

"And it's time for me to go too," Gloria added, trying to coax the little girl into obeying her parents. "Do you want to read a story together before I go?"

Gabriella's pout broke into a smile. "Yeah," she relented. She ran over to her bookshelf to make a selection. She picked quickly, and then hurried back over to Gloria with a copy of, "The Paper Bag Princess".

"Let's go upstairs so you can change into your pajamas and brush your teeth," Ian told his daughter. "Then Nonna can read you a story before you fall asleep."

They all went back up the basement stairs and then turned down the hall to go up the grand curved staircase at the front of the house. There were three bedrooms on the upper level. While Valentina helped her daughter brush her teeth and change into her nightgown, Ian gave Gloria a tour of the upstairs. The master bedroom had a walk in closet and an ensuite bathroom, there was a sunny yellow guest room, and Gabriella's bedroom had been done in baby blue.

"I'm ready!" Gabriella announced, walking into her room and hopping up onto the bed. "Will you read to me now?" she asked with her hands folded expectantly in her lap.

Gloria sat on the edge of the bed beside her granddaughter and rested her head back against the white headboard. She opened to the first page of the story, reading slowly so that it would last as long as possible. She used a lot of expression for the different voices, which made Gabriella laugh.

"Do you think that was the dragon that was chasing us?" Gloria whispered, pointing at an image of the green dragon in the book.

"It was that dragon's friend," Gabriella told her knowledgably. "And he's scarier, because he wouldn't fall for Elizabeth's tricks like _this_ dragon does."

"I guess we'll need to come up with a better way to outsmart our dragon then," Gloria replied. "Maybe we can dream on it tonight?"

"Good idea," Gabriella agreed. Gloria set the closed book onto her nightstand and then helped to tuck the little girl beneath her covers.

"I had fun playing with you," Gloria told her.

"Will you come play with me again?" Gabriella asked sleepily. "If you come to my birthday party we could play again…"

"That's true," Gloria agreed. She took a deep breath and smiled. "I'll be there," she promised. Images of Daniel and Sarai surfaced in her mind but she brushed them away. She'd endure an afternoon of their presence if it meant she'd get to spend more time with this precious girl.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," Gloria told her, stroking a lock of hair off of Gabriella's face.

"Goodnight," Gabriella yawned. Her eyelids were flickering shut and Gloria knew that she would be asleep within minutes. She stood up and came face-to-face with Valentina, who was standing in the doorway with a look of longing on her face.

"Are you alright?" Gloria asked her daughter, noting the wistful expression.

"Yes," Valentina nodded. "I'll walk you out, okay?"

They went down the staircase together in silence. When they reached the foyer, Gloria slipped her feet into her shoes while Valentina went to get her jacket from the hall closet.

"Gabby really liked you," Valentina said, handing Gloria her coat. "Sometimes she's shy with strangers but she warmed up to you very quickly."

"She's adorable," Gloria told her. "You and Ian are obviously doing a wonderful job with her. I can tell what a great mother you are."

"I try," Valentina shrugged, bowing her head.

"Val…" Gloria reached out a hand and tentatively rested it on her daughter's arm. It was a gentle touch, Valentina could have shrugged her off with any small jerking motion if she had wanted to, except she didn't. "Thank you for today," Gloria said softly, rubbing her arm soothingly. "I know it wasn't easy for you to do this, but I'm so thankful that you did."

"I'm glad we did this too," Valentina said faintly. "Obviously I had my reservations, but it was a nice evening. You were good with my daughter."

"I was so glad to meet her and spend time with her," Gloria said. She slowly lowered her arm from Valentina's shoulder. "I hope we can do things like this more often."

"We will," Valentina nodded. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave her mother a tight smile. "Have a good night," she dismissed her.

"Good night, darling," Gloria said back softly. She opened the front door and stepped out into the crisp autumn evening. The sky was already black, it always got dark so early this time of year. She started walking down the path to the road. She needed to find a cab or a bus to take her home.

"Wait! Gloria….mom?" Valentina's voice called her back, and Gloria turned around in surprise to see that her daughter had come hurrying out of the house with a jacket on that probably belonged to Ian.

"I wanted to ask you something," Valentina said, her voice slightly breathless as she stood before her. "Why weren't you like that with me?" she asked emotionally.

"What do you mean?" Gloria asked, frowning in confusion.

"Mmmmm," Valentina sighed in frustration, and her hands went up to the top of her head as she stroked back her hair. "How you were with Gabby tonight," she said finally. "I'd never seen you like that before."

"Valentina-"

"I don't understand why you weren't like that with me, or with Carmen," Valentina's voice shook. "Were you like that with the boys? I don't understand the difference in you."

"Darling, no," Gloria shook her head. " it's hard to explain...I never meant to hurt you, or your sister. But I was young and insecure when I had you guys. I suffered from depression. I had so much on my mind all the time that I just never really remembered to enjoy being a mother. And that has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me," Valentina told her in a chokey voice. She shifted her weight from side to side as they stood facing one another on the sidewalk.

"I wish I could make you realize how much I love you," Gloria said quietly. "I mean, you were my first baby. This beautiful little girl who lit up the room when you were born. You were your father's entire world, but you were also mine. I just never felt good enough to deserve you. I always felt inferior to him, and I guess I just stopped trying. I know it was my fault."

"I look at my own daughter and I just don't understand how you could have left us," Valentina shook her head. "You can blame Daddy all you want, but even if things went sour between Ian and I, I would still be devoted to our child."

Gloria took a deep breath. "Just imagine that you and Ian broke up," she swallowed a lump in her throat. "You needed to leave-I won't tell you why it was so important I leave your father, but just trust that I really had no other option." Gloria took a moment to get her bearings, as Valentina stared her down.

"Now imagine that Ian has a good job and everything going for him, but you have nothing. You're young, confused, and scared, so you don't know how to fight for what is yours. You move in with a relative, and Ian gets it put in court documents that you abandoned Gabriella...even though you were never more than a phone call away. The locks are changed, you can't go back, he is awarded temporary full custody, and while the divorce is proceeding he moves in another woman who dotes on Gabriella and acts like she is hers."

Tears prickled in Gloria's eyes, but she ignored them. "When you come to pick up Gabriella for your scheduled visitation weekends, your ex-husband purposefully schedules fun excursions like amusement parks and concerts, so that your daughter begs you to let her stay. And as you slowly become more and more irrelvant, you just become so depressed that you start to give up. That was my reality."

"That sounds terrible," Valentina said, tears pooling in her hazel eyes. "Was it really that bad? I'd die if that happened to me. I don't know what I would do…"

"I know I messed up," Gloria said in a pleading whisper. "But nothing ever happened because I didn't love you enough. All I wanted was for you and Carmen to be happy, and you both wanted to be with your father and Sarai, more than you wanted to be with me. I can understand that, my life was chaotic and dysfunctional. I should have fought to be around more, but I knew you were better off with them most of the time."

"We had a good life," Valentina agreed. She sighed sadly. "I wish you could have had a good life too. I'm sorry for all the bad things that happened to you."

"That's alright," Gloria replied. "I have a very good life now." She scratched the bridge of her nose. "I hope you and I can have a chance to be close," she said softly. "I know you don't consider me your mom-I know Sarai did more for you than I ever did, but you're still my daughter and I love you just as much as you love Gabriella. I hope you can find a place for me in your life."

Valentina nodded carefully. "I think I can," she answered.


	26. Chapter 27

"You hate me, don't you?" Gloria complained as she walked into the kitchen. The delicious aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls had pulled her from their bedroom, although she had been quite reluctant to wake up this morning. She watched longingly as Red stood with her back to her, transferring the pastries, which were still hot from the oven, onto a serving plate. Leaning back against the fridge, she pulled a small piece of lint from her skirt and curled her lips into a pout. It wasn't fair that Red was still dressed in her pajamas.

"Hate you?" Red echoed, turning around with the plate in her hand. "I made these because you like them so much, so shouldn't that say I love you?" She carried the plate over to the table, while Gloria gave her a begrudging smile and followed behind.

"They are my favourites," she conceded, reaching out to touch Red's hand. "But you only had time to bake this morning because you have the day off work, and I don't." She leaned over for a kiss. "Way to rub it in," she whispered, and then smiled as she brushed a light dusting of brown sugar from Red's cheek.

"Are you jealous?" Red asked, pulling out a chair for her.

"Mhmm," Gloria nodded seriously. "We're supposed to have the same days off so we can be together." She sighed, as she sunk down into her seat. "Although, I suppose these treats make me feel a little better about it. Well played, my love."

Focused on making a selection from the platter, Gloria didn't look up as Julio, and then Benny, walked into the room. Julio paused at the counter to pour himself a cup of coffee, while Benny plopped himself down heavily in the seat beside her. He reached eagerly for a roll and took a big bite, as crumbs fell onto the table.

"These look good," Julio exclaimed, taking the chair on his mother's opposite side. "What's the occasion?" he asked. One of the benefits of living with Red was that there was nearly always something good to eat in the kitchen, but even she didn't ordinarily have time to bake cinnamon rolls from scratch on a weekday morning before they all rushed out the door and went their separate ways.

"The occasion is that Galina doesn't have to go out in the miserable weather like the rest of us," Gloria complained. Although she smiled when Red brought her over a coffee without her even asking. Ordinarily they tried to sync their work schedules so that they could be off at the same times, but it hadn't happened like that this week.

"Mom, if you don't feel like going to work today, then just skip," Benny suggested, with a wry grin. "I'll stay home too."

"Nice try," Gloria eyed him. "You're not missing any school. "

"Yeah, yeah," Benny sighed. "I've got you figured out. You won't even let me stay home when I have a legitimate illness."

"Chapped lips?" Gloria rolled her eyes, as she reached for a second cinnamon roll. She had polished her first off quickly. They always tasted best when they were still warm.

"Not just chapped lips," Benny retorted. "My throat was sore too."

"Not sore enough to keep you from talking all through breakfast though," Gloria replied. "Next time you want to work that angle, I'd recommend acting like your close to losing your voice."

"Every heard of a personal day?" Benny complained. Polishing off another quickly, he grabbed another and went to find a napkin to wrap it in. He'd finish it off on the walk to school.

"Don't forget that I'll be late today," he reminded them all in a dull voice. He headed for the door to put on his coat and boots. A quick glance out the window had confirmed that the persistent rain through the night had not let up.

"Oh, yes," Red replied, suddenly remembering. "You have basketball tryouts this afternoon, right?"

"Yes," Benny sighed, shrugging his arms into his jacket.

"Try not to worry," Julio advised his brother, helping himself to another roll. "You know you're going to get it."

"I'm not worried," Benny insisted in a shaky voice. His face was creased in a frown. "I'm good, and besides, coach loves me."

"Somebody ought to," Gloria replied with a wink. She gathered up all of their dishes and brought them over to the sink.

"Ha Ha," Benny rolled his eyes at her, "you think you're so funny?"

"I dunno," Gloria shrugged, "I make Julio laugh."

Julio wiped the snicker off of his face as they all turned to look at him. "It's exciting though," he said to his brother. "You going back on the team after dropping out before…" Heading for the door, he pulled his coat off the hook.

Benny shrugged, "I guess," he replied, "but I might not get back on for sure. The coach has to be fair and I haven't played much lately."

"Haven't played much?" Gloria blinked, "you've been practicing since school started."

"Well, we'll see," Benny replied, "see ya." He opened the door and widened his eyes at the pouring rain that greeted him.

"Take an umbrella," Red advised him, "it's in the closet."

"Nah, I'm good," Benny replied stubbornly. He pulled the hood of his sweater up to cover his head and opened the door wider. "Bye," he called gloomily. Julio was right behind him. He was lucky that the bus he took to go to college stopped right outside their house. He could wait in the bus shelter and avoid getting drenched.

Once they were gone, Gloria glanced at the clock and groaned. "You see all that rain out there," she complained, nodding at the closed door that Benny and Julio had just walked out of. "You really want to be sending me out in that? I could get pneumonia..."

Red giggled, thinking that this concern warranted as much merit as chapped lips and a sore throat that didn't affect your voice at all. Gloria could be as much of an exaggerator as her son, and it wasn't hard to see where Benny got it from.

"So, stay home," Red raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Call in and stay home with me…"

"I can't," Gloria sighed. "Although, you certainly make a tempting offer."

However, they both knew she wouldn't ever take her up on it. Thinking about taking an unnecessary absence was always more of a fantasy than a seriously conceived plan. She was thankful for her job and she did it well. It was a blessing to not have to worry about money or getting by anymore. She and Red lived simply, were careful and frugal, and they combined everything that they had. Between the two of them, they had a nice life and Gloria's sons were well provided for.

And so it was, that a few minutes later, Gloria was reluctantly bundling up to head out the door. Her large tote bag held the shoes she'd change into once she arrived at the store, and she slipped her pantyhose clad feet into red rubber boots for the walk. She rummaged in the hall closet for the umbrella that Benny wouldn't take, and then she all but fell into Red's arms, holding her close. She wished she could stay home with her.

"Have a good day," Red wished her, as her hands traced lines over the back of Gloria's navy-blue raincoat. They kissed longingly and it was with much reluctance that Gloria finally forced herself to pull away. She was going to be late if she didn't hurry.

"I have to run," she lamented, "such a shame...I was just getting all these ideas in my head of what I'd rather be doing today instead...doing to you, I should specify." Smirking, she gave her a quick final kiss and was rushing down the porch steps before Red had a chance to formulate a response.

XXXX

Time to be alone was a pleasure though, and Red did enjoy her solitary morning. It was a rare opportunity to have the apartment to herself and she had enjoyed the temporary quiet for a spell, although it hadn't taken long for her to miss everyone. Washing the breakfast dishes had taken all but minutes, and then she had settled down on the couch with the current book she was reading. Duke and Millie stuck close by her side, but Benny's Tiny Dragon was thankfully secured in his bedroom. She had just been considering going back to bed for a rest when Nicky had popped by for a surprise visit. Having learned that Red was off work today after talking to her on the phone the night before, Nicky had decided to come over. They didn't spend near enough time together, as Nicky was always quick to remind her.

She and Daisy had been quite the sight upon arrival. Wearing a bright blue raincoat, Nicky had dressed her little dog to match. Daisy had even had a little hood to keep the water off of her head, although that hadn't prevented her from shaking forcibly upon arrival. Water had been sprayed onto everything and she had trekked muddy paw prints onto the floor. Red hadn't been amused, although Nicky had quickly cleaned her dog and the floor up, before snuggling Daisy up in some blankets on the couch to warm up.

After helping herself to the leftover Shepherd's Pie that she'd found in the fridge, Nicky had grabbed one of Gloria's Dr. Pepper's and then curled up on the couch with her dog. Red had joined them and as the television hummed quietly in the background, the two of them caught up on everything that had been happening lately.

"I've been sitting here so long that I don't think I'll be able to get up," Red said lazily. She linked her hands together up above her head and stretched.

"You're not supposed to get up," Nicky reminded her, as Red shifted on the couch and glanced at the clock. "We're supposed to relax. There's nothing either of us needs to be doing right now."

"Mhmm," Red murmured in agreement, shutting her eyes. She needed to take more time to do just that-nothing. The trouble was that for her, that was always easier said than done. Even recreation or taking it easy always seemed to require some purpose. Finishing a book, getting quality time in with somebody, being active-everything she chose to do had to accomplish something, even if it only was significant to her. Without Nicky's influence, Red would never veg out in front of a television for too long. Although, now that she was, she had to admit that she was enjoying herself.

Nicky was right, they didn't do this enough. Their schedules were always so conflicting, and considerations for Lorna, Gloria, and the boys usually ended up taking precedence. She still saw Nicky at least once a week, but it wasn't quite the same as having her in the house where she could see and talk to her all the time. She was still often wrought with worry about what Nicky got up to in all her unsupervised time. Although her girl seemed to be fine, it was hard not to be concerned. And when Red was worried, the only thing that would make her feel better was actually spending time together.

Which was why them both having a spare day off in the middle of the week was such a happy coincidence. Perhaps _too_ much of a happy coincidence, Red surmised. Suddenly wrought with suspicion, Red opened her lids and eyed Nicky curiously.

"What?" Nicky asked, with a nervous laugh.

"Were your classes really cancelled for the afternoon?" Red asked skeptically, "or were you just feeling like Benny, and decided to finagle a _personal_ day?"

"What does it matter?" Nicky asked casually, "I'm doing great in all my classes. Maybe I just wanted to spend time with you instead, for a change."

Red rolled her eyes but was obviously melting. "How can I argue with that?" she replied with a smile.

"Especially because if I want to see you, I'm always the one who has to make the effort," Nicky added with a knowing look.

"That is not true," Red protested.

"Sure, it is," Nicky rolled her eyes. "When was the last time you came to see me at my apartment?" she asked seriously.

"Well that isn't fair," Red argued, "you moved over by the university and I'm never down that way. I still come by sometimes."

"You visit Vasily and Max way more than you visit me," Nicky complained, "and you see Yuri like everyday."

"That's because Yuri lives across the street," Red reminded her patiently, "and Vasily and Maxim are just a couple of blocks away."

"Uh huh," Nicky said flatly. "Well, you better clear your schedule and get yourself down to visit us Friday night."

"Why? What's happening on Friday?" asked Red.

"Meh, Lorna's all about Pinterest these days," Nicky rubbed her forehead as though she could feel a headache coming on. "She keeps pinning all these recipes to her board...you know she's all about that happy housewife image…. I know right? Lucky me." She let out a chuckle. "Anyway, she wants to make dinner for us tomorrow night and wants you and Gloria to come. The boys too, if they want. Hope you all like Italian."

"What's Pinterest?" Red asked, her brow wrinkled in confusion about the first part of Nicky's statement.

"I'll show you later," Nicky replied. "You'd actually probably really like it. Seems right up your alley. You could find more recipes than you'd ever find in a cookbook."

"Hmm," murmured Red. "Well I promise we'll be there on Friday." She reached out a hand for the remote control that was set on top of the coffee table. Finding it too far, she sank back down into the couch cushions, and lifted one foot at a time, off of the floor, and rested them on top of the table. "Get me the remote, would you?" she asked Nicky, flexing her toes against it.

"Seriously?" replied Nicky, raising her eyebrows at Red in exasperation. "Maybe you're getting a little _too_ relaxed," she groaned. "You're closer than me." She curled deeper in the ball she had been scrunched into on the couch.

"You're younger than me," Red retorted, swatting at Nicky's thigh to get her moving.

"Fine," Nicky sighed. She sat up and stretched over to grab the remote control. She dropped it into Red's lap, and then tucked her feet underneath her.

"What do you want to watch?" she asked, resting her chin on her mother's shoulder. "I'm game for anything besides some nonsensical soap opera," she shuddered, "I get enough of that at home."

"How is home?" Red asked, settling on a daytime talk show that appealed to neither of them but seemed to be the best option.

"Fine," Nicky replied quickly.

"Lorna seemed alright when I last saw her at the baby shower," Red continued to say casually, watching Nicky closely. "Did she like Shelby?"

"She's...adjusting," Nicky considered her chosen word carefully before she spoke it. "We all went out to a movie the other night together," she told her. "And bowling on Saturday."

"Good," Red said lightly. "I mean, there's no logical reason why she should be jealous…"

"Lorna's not always logical," Nicky said with a derisive snort, "but we're working on it."

Smiling, Red brought her hand up to pat the side of Nicky's head. She kept it there, scrunching Nicky's curls with her fingers. "And you're okay, honey?" she asked quietly, turning her head to bestow a kiss on Nicky's crown. "Any cravings?"

"No!" Nicky exclaimed a bit loudly, pulling back. "I said I'd tell you if there was," she reminded her mother. "Don't ask me…"

"Alright," Red held up her free hand in truce, while the other scratched at Nicky's scalp and beckoned her closer again. "I'm sorry...I just worry."

"You make that very clear," Nicky told her dryly. "And you got Lorna on my case too, so between the two of you, I think I'll be okay."

"We care," Red reminded her.

"And I'm sober," Nicky replied. "I'm not going to do it again. I meant what I said before…. I'm done."

The phone began to ring. Red glanced over at the lampstand that her cell was resting on. Picking it up, she blinked in surprise at the screen before answering the call. "Hello?" Grateful to get the focus off of her sobriety, Nicky leaned more heavily against Red and watched the television screen lazily. She frowned, when Red got up suddenly, leaving Nicky suspended in air before her head bumped down on the cushion Red had been seated on.

"I'll come pick you up," Red was saying calmly into the phone. "I'll be there in ten minutes." She slipped her rain jacket on over the white sweater she was wearing with a pair of black yoga pants. Red dressed casually when she was just hanging around the house.

"You're leaving me?" Nicky asked disappointedly, once Red had hung up the phone.

"I'm sorry, honey," Red sounded apologetic. "It's just Benny," she explained, doing up the buttons on the front of her jacket. "He's not feeling well and he asked me to come pick him up."

"What's wrong with him?" Nicky asked.

"Not sure," Red replied, tossing her purse over one shoulder. "But he seemed fine this morning...Hmm," she considered, "maybe he really _did_ have a sore throat the other day." At the bewildered expression on Nicky's face, she elaborated. "Gloria thought he was faking to stay home before."

"Yeah, well, Gloria's a bit…." Nicky let her sentence run when she caught noticed the eyes that Red was giving her. "A bit dramatic herself," she finished quickly. "Anyway, it sounds like I might need to give him some pointers on sounding more convincing for next time."

"Are you going to be here when I get back?" Red asked.

"No," Nicky shook her head, "I should probably bounce. Plus, I don't want to catch a cold or whatever if he actually is sick."

A few moments later, Red was out the door and, on her way, to pick Benny up from school. Since he was underage, he wasn't allowed to sign himself out and needed parental approval. Gloria had listed Red as his emergency contact once Lourdes had passed away and he had called her first since he knew his mom was at work. Still, rules aside, it was a true testament to how well Benny was doing that he was actually following procedure and hadn't just walked out the school doors and headed home by himself. In the past he wouldn't have hesitated to do so, although Red didn't think he had skipped once since Gloria had come home.

Benny was quiet when she came into the school to pick him up and seemed quite flushed in the face, sitting in the office with his head in his hands as he waited for her. Red signed him out and Benny seemed to brighten significantly once they were out of the school, or perhaps that was just relief. Once they were seated in the car, Red placed a palm to his forehead. "You don't seem very sick to me," she said disapprovingly, moving her hand to his cheek, "and you don't have a fever. What's wrong exactly?"

"I needed to get out of there," Benny said quietly. Glancing out the side passenger window, he pressed his forehead against the glass. He enjoyed the coolness when he was feeling so flushed. His hands were clammy, and clenched tightly together in his lap.

"Why did you need to leave?" Red asked him patiently. She was watching his back, and hadn't yet turned on the car.

"I don't know," Benny gritted his teeth. "Just started feeling claustrophobic. The cafeteria was extra crowded at lunch because nobody wanted to go outside, on account of the rain. I just felt closed in."

"Okay," Red said, feeling a little confused. "But nothing actually happened? In class or with another student?"

"No," Benny shook his head.

"Benny-" Red sighed.

"None of my important classes are in the afternoon anyway," Benny told her, in a monotonous tone. "I'll make up what I missed tomorrow, I promise."

"What about your tryout?" Red pressed, her faced etched with concern. She bit the inside of her cheek when she observed Benny inwardly cringe at the question, before he mumbled something that was incoherent to her ears.

She drummed the steering wheel for a moment, trying to decide what to do with him. He seemed visibly distressed to her, although she didn't quite understand why. It didn't seem as though anything had actually happened to him, but he was exhibiting several of the same stressors that she had first observed in him at the cemetery after Lourdes' funeral.

"Well…" Red said, noting the way Benny had unclenched his fists and begun to run his hands back and forth against his thighs, pressing down hard. She put the key in the ignition and started the car. "Did you at least have lunch?" she asked.

Benny shook his head, still staring out the window away from her, "I didn't feel like eating," he admitted.

"How about now?" Red asked. "We can go wherever you want."

XXXX

It was how Red found herself moments later seated in a loud and overcrowded McDonald's with Benny. She let him wait at the table while she went up to order food for the both of them, she got herself the same thing that he had requested and then brought it all back to the table. Benny had already gone to get them straws and ketchup. Taking the seat across from him, Red lifted the bun of her burger up to examine it closer, while Benny picked his up and took a large bite without hesitation. His appetite was returning.

"Maxim tried to take me here one time, but I didn't eat," Red said conversationally. In her mind, flashed an image of herself and Maxim driving in his car the night she had shown up at his house and happened upon Klara for the first time. She had been hurt and embarrassed, and the meal Maxim had ordered for her at the drive thru had sat untouched and wasted in the bag, or perhaps her son had finished it off himself after leaving her at the motel like she'd requested.

Red nibbled at a French fry, without bothering to dip it into ketchup first. "Maybe I should have let him buy me some of these fries though," she added, looking pleasantly surprised. "These are pretty good. A bit too much salt though."

She bit into another French fry, while Benny remained silent. At least he was eating though, she noted to herself. She hadn't wanted to take him home because she reckoned it would be more challenging to get him to leave again if she did. She didn't want him missing his tryout, something that was important to him, he had prepared for, and was good at. Yet, the anxiety was radiating off of him and Red was worried that it really would keep him from following through. He seemed agitated and distracted, and she was sure his mind was a million miles away right now.

He was reminding her of what it had been like to deal with Dmitri's condition, something that had plagued him for the entire duration of their marriage. Red knew that she hadn't been a very compassionate wife to him but her patience had always worn thin when trying to be understanding only seemed to make Dmitri feel like he didn't have to try at all. Anxiety had prevented him from leading their family the way Red had always expected a father and husband to do. Instead, everything had fallen to her which had been a never-ending source of tension between them. Red had expected more from her marriage, and having to accept how much less she had settled for was a serious disappointment.

Dmitri's anxiety had cost him several different jobs, which had forced Red to work harder than ever in their store to keep the bills paid, and their sons fed and clothed. Although frequently out of work, Dmitri had never been much for helping with the childcare either. He'd say the children stressed him out, and he always found them too loud, too boisterous, and too clingy to their mother for his liking. His inability to maintain honest employment, and his wife's frequent remarks about it, was what drove Dmitri to start taking shady jobs with the Russian mafia. He saw it as his chance to finally do better for his family, but it was that choice that ultimately had led to Galina's undoing.

It had always been a challenge for Red to really sympathize with her husband's anxiety, especially because she felt that she had never been allocated the same consideration. It wasn't that she had never struggled internally herself, she had just never been able to take a time out from life to deal with it. She had powered through everything, to the best of her ability, because she had three boys looking up at her that needed to come first. She wasn't always successful. Sometimes her stress would erupt out of her in a fit of rage, such as the spontaneous assault on the mafia boss's wife. Red had always been told she'd had anger issues, although they certainly hadn't been as prominent in the last few years. Perhaps that was a result of being genuinely happy and at last having a partner who was there for her.

"Once we're done eating, we can go do something else you'd like," Red suggested. "I can still get you back in time to tryout for the team."

"Mmmm, no," Benny shook his head. "I've changed my mind."

"Why would you do that?" Red asked curiously. She brought her cup to her lips and took a sip of her coke. "You've been planning on this since September," she reminded him. "You've been practicing every single day." She wanted to do whatever it took to persuade him to go back. She wasn't surprised that he struggled this way, but she would hate it if his anxiety stopped him from doing the things he was meant to do in his life. She didn't want him to be like Dmitri.

"So have a lot of people," Benny told her, "and it doesn't mean I'm going to get it."

"You should still try though," Red argued. "Besides, I bet you will get it...you made the team before."

"And then I dropped out because it was too hard," Benny reminded her.

"I don't think basketballwas too hard," Red replied. "But you were dealing with a lot of other things at the same time that were probably too draining and distracting. It wasn't your fault."

"Maybe," Benny said reluctantly. "But I'd rather not find out," he said honestly. "People were really mad at me for dropping out last time. They'd hate me if I got the spot again and then quit."

"So don't quit," Red suggested simply.

"Easier said than done," Benny told her dryly. "I'm not good at keeping up with things. I'm not Julio."

"You don't have to be like Julio," Red replied. "but you do have a talent and it would be a shame if anxiety held you back from things I know you want to do."

"I'm not that talented," Benny insisted.

"Oh, yes you are," Red retorted. "I went to one of your games a couple of years ago and saw you with my own eyes, remember?"

"How could I forget?" Benny said with a small smile. "And then you made us all grilled cheese afterwards, back at Vasily's house."

Red beamed as her heart did a little flutter inside her chest. That he remembered even the smallest of details of their first meeting, warmed her heart. She had been so hesitant to be introduced to Gloria's sons that day, but the moment she'd laid eyes on them she had instantly begun to feel protective. She could recall how quiet and shy Julio had been, always polite but at the same time withdrawn into himself, playing games on his phone so that he wouldn't have to partake in a conversation. Whatever Benny said to the contrary, he had been one of the star players on the team back then and obviously pleased by the praise Red and her sons had bestowed upon him, although he'd pretended not to show it.

"You were so stubborn then," Red reflected, "although I suppose nothing much has changed." At the look of confusion on his face she added, "don't you recall getting upset when I insisted you and Julio come back to Vasily's house for the night because of the blizzard?"

"It was just some snow," Benny shrugged, "we'd dealt with worse. Tia couldn't escort us all over the place."

"No," Red agreed, "but she ended up being stranded at work until very late that night while they waited for all the roads to be cleared. You guys would have been on your own for quite awhile, and you were only fifteen at the time. What if we had lost power?"

"That's why we gave into you," Benny replied. "Plus, I was really hungry and I had a feeling you might have made me something to eat if I went along with you."

Red shook her head looking amused, "if I had known then, how much time I'd be spending cooking for you…"

"But didn't you know?" Benny asked pointedly. "You were keeping a lot secret back then about your intentions. Julio and I were really blindsided."

"You think I should have brought up everything right then and there?" Red asked him in astonishment. She shook her head, "that was for your mother to do. I was just happy to have a chance to get to know you both _before_ you knew about everything," she twirled her straw around in her cup, bumping it against ice cubes. "I was never naive enough to think that I would be well received by either you or Julio, once you learned the truth," she continued. "Although that didn't stop me from caring about you two boys very much from the moment I laid eyes on you."

Benny didn't know what to say to that, so he compromised by taking a large bite out of his burger so that he wouldn't have to talk. Her words sounded sincere, and Benny believed them. Galina Reznikov had gone above and beyond for both him and his brother several times. She'd made it possible for them to pay frequent visits to their mother, she had included them on countless outings and out of town trips with her and her family over the years, and she'd helped Lourdes in every way she could. It had been easy and natural for Red to do this. It went without saying that Julio and Benny had both stolen a piece of her heart from their first encounter, and had come to be as beloved to her as her own sons.

That hadn't meant that things had been easy, it never was when you were dealing with so many different conflicting personalities and trying to make sure nobody was disregarded. It had been a pleasant surprise when Julio had cautiously approached her for a ride to see Gloria. And then had willing decided to give her a chance. He had been hesitant, but open minded, and the frequent drives to see his mother had led to a deep bond between them. Benny had always been more challenging than his brother. He was angry, afraid, and mistrustful. It had been a long and trying process to give him the time, space, and unconditional love that he'd needed to be willing to put faith in her to care for him. Yet, it had all been worth it and now he was sitting across from her having an honest discussion about his fears and insecurities with no withholding.

"I don't want you to miss out today, Benny," Red said seriously. "I think you'll regret it if you don't at least try."

Benny grumbled something in reply and shook his head. He wasn't buying what she was trying to sell him. They finished the rest of their food and then Benny got up to clear the table for them both. Red buttoned her coat back up and waited by the door for him to join her.

"Where to now?" she asked wearily, hoping he would surprise her by requesting to go back to school.

"I dunno...home?" Benny suggested.

"What if instead we go find something to do to kill time for the next hour or so?" Red suggested hopefully, "and then, depending how you're feeling, I take you back to school in time to tryout?"

Benny sighed, "you're not going to stop, are you?" he complained.

"Won't you just humour me?" Red pleaded. "I know I'm right about this."

"You always _think_ that you're right," Benny shook his head. "But not today, I just can't." He scratched his head and then added. "I feel fine now, but going there is just going to start it all again."

Red sighed. "Alright," she relented quietly. "You don't have to. Do you mind coming with me to the grocery store before we head home?"

XXXX

Although she always preferred the open aired market, Red conceded to go to the store right around the corner to buy most of what they needed, for the sake of convenience alone. Except for meats and breads, which she bought from speciality shops because she was so particular. They all made fun of her for it, but with good intentions because her dedication certainly kept them all eating well. Gloria cooked a couple of times a week, but usually she was more than willing so step aside so Red could have full reign in their kitchen.

Benny pushed the shopping cart down all the aisles for her and then bagged up their groceries into the cloth bags Red kept folded up inside her large purse. He was quiet for the most part and loaded everything into their car so that Red didn't have to lift a finger. Once he was in the passenger seat he kept his eyes transfixed on the clock. His hands were pressing into his thighs again.

"I was thinking that maybe I would go check it out today," Benny told her quietly, "the tryout, I mean."

"Yeah?" Red looked surprised. "I'll take you there right now. "

She didn't question what had brought upon this change of heart. Whether it had been from anything she'd said, or because he'd recognized in himself how much he would regret not turning up. They drove up to the school, and Benny reached behind him for the backpack he had slung into the backseat.

"I can wait for you," Red offered, suddenly feeling quite protective. "I have a book in my purse." She wanted to be on hand in case he felt like leaving quickly. She didn't want him to ignite his anxiety more if this really was too much for him, yet at the same time, she was very proud.

"If you're going to do that then you might as well come inside," Benny said casually. "They have a spot where parents and students can watch."

"Do you want me to?" Red asked him.

"If _you_ want to," Benny shrugged.

"Alright," Red agreed, with a smile.

They walked into the school together and Red paused to look at the picture of Julio's graduating class that had been hung on the wall outside of the office. His name was listed on the honour roll as well, and Red smiled as she found it on the plaque. Benny led her into the gymnasium, the same one they had been in the first time she saw him play.

"Benjamin Mendoza!" a man in a tracksuit with a whistle hung around his neck called. He clapped his hands together and smiled jovially. "Am I ever glad to see you! Carlos told me that you'd gone home sick during the lunch period. I was worried you weren't going to come back!"

"Of course, I came back," Benny scoffed. "What, did you think I wouldn't?" He slung his bag higher up on his shoulder and gripped the strap tightly in his hand.

The coach smiled and cuffed him playfully around the head. "Don't be a smart ass, Mendoza."

"What?" the teenager questioned. "Me?"

Red smirked and crossed her arms, watching the exchange with a pleasant smile. A hand suddenly thrusted in front of her, she blinked in confusion before looking up into the coach's eyes. "Coach Brian, I don't think we've met."

Red politely accepted his hand. "No, I don't believe we have," she said. "Galina Reznikov."

"She's my stepmother," Benny explained, without skipping a beat.

Coach Brian smiled and nodded his understanding. "Well, this is a great kid you have here. If only we could work on his attitude and keep those grades up."

Red chuckled lightly, "we do our best."

"No doubt," the coach replied. He looked down at his watch, "Mendoza, you need to get changed. You've kept us waiting long enough."

Benny frowned, "school barely got out like two minutes ago."

"Five," his coach corrected, "and I want you to get a good warm up in before we start."

"Benny, I'm going to go sit down," Red told him, motioning over to the bleachers that were already pretty full. "So just come find me over there when you're done."

"Sure," Benny nodded.

He seemed quite comfortable in his surroundings and confident, which surprised Red who had expected him to be overwhelmed once he saw how many people had crowded into the gym for the mere tryouts. He seemed to respond well to his coach though, Red mused as she climbed the steps to find a seat where she would be sure to see everything that was going on. Benny and his coach were still chatting by the locker room door, and it was easy to see that the man was quite attentive to Benny. It was another reason for Red to be pleased that Benny had changed his mind about attending the tryouts. He could use some positive male role models in his life after the ones he had known in the past.

Her own sons had once served that purpose, Red reminisced. Older brothers, mentors, what have you-there was no denying that Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had all taken a definite interest in Gloria's two young sons once they had met. Unaware of the relations between their two mothers, what had started with Red asking her sons to bring Gloria's along on trips to the prison had resulted in genuine friendships. Benny and Julio had put up their walls once Gloria had confessed her feelings for Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily's mother, but that had only been misdirected resentment. They had felt used and played, and distanced themselves from everyone they considered guilty by association. Fortunately, that hadn't lasted, and Red couldn't help but hope that if Benny did make the team, her sons would be invited back to support him. She wanted them all to love one another.

It didn't surprise Red in the least that Benny did fantastic at the tryouts. He shot more baskets and ran faster than any of the other kids. His easy repertoire with the coach made him good at following the instructions given to him. For the most part he seemed to be in the zone, although he did look up to find her a couple of times and had smiled at her attentiveness. He hadn't even considered asking anyone to be there today, although it made a huge difference to feel supported.

"He told me I made it," Benny said happily, coming up to find Red once the session had ended and he had retrieved his belongings from the locker room.

"I knew you would," Red beamed.

As they walked out of the school, Benny palmed his hands together and then asked. "Do you think my mom will arrange her work schedule so that she can come to my first game?" he asked.

"I know she will," Red said confidently, who knew with absolute certainty that Gloria would move heaven and earth to be there for all the important events her sons' had.

"I was just wondering," Benny said casually. "Tia never really was able to. She came to a couple of things though, when she had off."

"Lourdes' would have come to it all if she could have," Red gently reminded him. "It's different when you need to carry everything by yourself, like your aunt was. For Lourdes to turn down a shift, even if it was to do something that she really wanted to do, that would have maybe meant not being able to pay a bill on time or something else unfortunate."

She cleared her throat. "But your mom doesn't need to have those same concerns because there are two of us working and that makes a huge difference. If she needs to take a day off because of something with you or Julio, then she can, and if for some reason she couldn't make it to something...well, then I'd be there."

"That's nice," Benny said quietly, as they reached the car and both climbed in. He fastened his seat belt and then hesitated. "Things are so much better now," he began. "But I feel bad too."

"Why?" Red frowned.

"Because Vasily, Yuri, and Maxim always used to come to this stuff until I told them to stay away," Benny admitted guiltily. "And then once they stopping coming, I didn't like bothering with it anymore so that was why I quit. But it's my fault they left in the first place. I told them to leave me alone."

"You could have called them up and invited them again," Red said calmly. "I know they would have liked it if you had."

"I was angry," Benny admitted. "Not at them-just everyone."

"Well, my sons had nothing to do with anything," Red reminded him. "But they understood that you needed space and they don't hold it against you. Besides, we all had fun at the cottage together last summer, right? And several other times when they were around."

"Yeah, I know," Benny said uncomfortably.

Red eyed him. "If you want, you could call them?" she suggested. "Explain more if it will make you feel better. I'll bet if you asked them to come to a game sometime they'd really appreciate that too."

"Okay," Benny nodded. "Because I do like them."

"That's good," Red smiled. "They like you too. We _all_ like you. And you've made me so proud."


	27. Chapter 28

**Thanks to Johanna-002 for editing**

The rain that had been pouring down for days had fortunately let up, although the sky was as dark and grey as ever. It matched Gloria's mood, or perhaps it was contributing to it. This dreary weather had been doing nothing to help with her morale and she couldn't help but wonder if a little sunshine would have made all the difference. However, when she woke up on the day of Gabriella's birthday and looked out the window, it was as gloomy as ever and Gloria's stomach was in knots.

A nagging part of her couldn't help but feel like attending this family event was going to be a huge mistake. She had never wanted to see her ex-husband and his wife again, and now she was deliberately going to where they were. She couldn't fathom how any encounter with Daniel could go well, and had been mentally rehearsing her plan ever since she had agreed to attend in the first place. She wasn't going to avoid but she intended to keep a healthy distance. Tension between her and Daniel would only guarantee more animosity between her and her daughters, which would defeat the whole purpose of going in the first place. Gloria was going to have to learn to tolerate him if she was to have any sort of relationship with her daughters and granddaughter at all.

At least she wouldn't be going alone. Ian had made a point to include Julio, Benny, and Red on the invitation and they were all coming with her, although none were overly enthused about the afternoon's prospects. The boys had been reluctant to go and indifferent to meeting Gabriella or spending time with the two older sisters they hardly knew. And although Red was trying to be supportive, the thought of putting her and Daniel into the same room together was enough on its own to make Gloria feel uncomfortable. She hoped that contact with Daniel and Sarai would be minimal, and that everyone could focus on what they were actually there for-Gabriella's birthday.

"I hope there will be good stuff to eat at this party," Benny said gloomily. He flashed a look of annoyance at his mother. "How long are we going to stay?"

"Until it's over," Gloria answered calmly. They were walking down the quiet street in the direction of Valentina and Ian's house.

"Great," Benny sucked his teeth.

"Hi," Lida called from behind them. Slightly out of breath, she hurried to catch up. She was red in the face and had dark circles under her eyes. Her blonde hair looked like she had forgotten to brush it that morning, but all of that was barely noticeable when compared with her enormous belly.

Alexei had been holding tightly onto the stroller while they walked, but when he caught sight of them, he grinned and broke into a run. "Grandma, I found you!" he laughed, and he threw himself into Red's arms.

"Out, out!" Vera was shouting in frustration. Her tiny hands were working to unfasten the straps holding her in place in the stroller.

"What's your mama got you tied down for, huh?" Gloria knelt down to unbuckle Vera, "a busy girl like you needs to burn off some energy!" She smiled when the little girl jumped up and immediately fell into her arms.

"Gloria!" Vera shouted happily. "Do you want to see my party dress?"

Gloria smiled at her, glancing down at the baby blue coat that was zipped up and hiding her dress from view. "I'll look when we get inside, okay?" she promised. She tickled the sole of Vera's black Mary Jane's and then plucked at the white tights the girl was wearing that were slightly baggy in the ankle. "I love your shoes though, are they new?"

"Yep," Vera swung her feet. "They're my party shoes," she explained.

"I bought them new outfits while shopping for a birthday present for Gabby," Lida explained. Her hands were still gripped tightly to the stroller and she glanced down at her own clothing and gave a helpless shrug. She was wearing a grey maxi dress that was tight around the middle and through which you could see her protruding belly button. Her baggy unbuttoned pink cardigan and open coat didn't do much to shield her from the damp wind. "This is the best I can do for myself though," she giggled. "At least my kids are cute."

"You're cute too," Red insisted. "Let's just get you out of this chill. Are you cold?"

"Actually I'm incredibly warm," Lida reassured her. "I got off a few stops early because I'm trying to walk as much as I can and the exercise heated me up." Suddenly she reached back to hold her lower back. Her teeth clenched together tightly, before she rubbed at the spot on her back gently and gave her mother-in-law a smile. "I'm doing great," she added.

"You sure?" Gloria asked disbelievingly. "You look exhausted…"

"I haven't been sleeping well lately," Lida admitted. "It's too hard to get comfortable. But it won't be for much longer...and a party seems like a great way to distract myself from this waiting game."

"So long as your sure," Red said, eyeing her closely. "If you want to go home and rest, we could keep the children?"

"No," Lida shook her head in protest, "really, I'm alright. Maybe I _shouldn't_ have walked as far as I did but once I sit down and have a glass of water, I'll be good."

"Let's go inside then," Red said. She glanced at Gloria in concern. "Are you ready?" she asked her quietly.

Gloria nodded and did her best to seem nonchalant. Taking Vera's hand, she lead the way up the stoney walk to Valentina's front porch. Behind her, Red, Lida, and Alexei were coming together, while her two sons picked up the rear and dragged their feet.

"This looks like a really nice house," Julio whispered to his brother.

"I know," Benny whispered back in agreement. "Do you think Valentina married rich, or did mom just pick a better father for them than us?"

Red overheard them and turned around to give both boys a stern glance. "Mind your manners," she said warningly, in a quiet voice so Gloria wouldn't hear. "Don't forget to say hello to your sisters." She nodded at the gift that Julio was carrying. "You can ask Valentina where to put that. Oh, and," she looked over at the stroller, devoid of passengers, that Lida had pushed up the walk. Reaching into the basket underneath, she took out the wrapped package and handed it to Benny. "You can take care of that for me, alright darling?"

Gloria knocked on the door and then swung Vera's arm and hers back and forth, making the little girl giggle. Gloria felt so nervous, but distracting herself with the little ones was helping. It gave her something to do. She knew she would feel better once she caught sight of Gabriella again. The reason she was there in the first place. That would make it all worth it.

"Hello!" Ian greeted them warmly, opening up the door. Valentina was standing beside him, dressed in gray slacks with a pale pink sweater. She looked reserved, despite the small smile she bestowed them with.

"Come in," Valentina beckoned them all through the door. When Gloria passed her though, Valentina placed her hand on the small of her back and leaned over for something of a hug. It took Gloria by surprise, but she immediately turned to embrace her daughter, who stiffened slightly but then relaxed. "I'm glad you came," Valentina said quietly.

"Me too," Gloria said softly.

"We're so happy to have you all here," Ian was saying.

"Thanks for having us," Lida smiled, she held out an arm to give Ian a hug. "The kids have been so excited all morning."

"It's going to be fun," Ian told them. "We're just waiting on a couple more, but most of the kids are already here. They're playing games in the living room. We decided to do it upstairs and moved the furniture around so there'd be more room. The magician show will be starting soon."

"Like magic?" Alexei spoke up.

"Like magic," Ian nodded.

"I can always figure out the trick though," Benny murmured under his breath to his brother. Feeling Red's eyes on him, he cleared his throat and then asked loudly. "Where can we put these presents down?"

"I'll take them," Ian offered. He motioned to the boys with his hands, and Julio and Benny both hesitantly came forward to hand him the gifts.

As Valentina stepped away from her, Gloria turned her attention to the boys. "Guys, this is Ian, he's Valentina's husband, and you remember your big sister, of course."

"Sort of," Julio said shyly. "I remember one time you pushed me on the swings at the park."

"You remember that?" Valentina asked him awkwardly. "You were probably only about five at the time…" It had been one of the last times she had visited them. She drummed her fingers against her thighs feeling quite uncomfortable by the large congregation in this foyer. It was too many people that should mean something to her, but really didn't. And the connection of her friend Lida through Gloria's new family almost made things more awkward, because she now knew the dysfunctional aspects of their family that Valentina had always done her best to keep hidden. Only now everything was out in the open, and she was just trying to do the right thing.

"So who is who?" Ian asked. He could sense his wife's discomfort, so he set the presents down on the stairs and then placed a supportive hand on Valentina's shoulder.

Benny said nothing, but Julio spoke up before Gloria would have to jump in and answer for them. "I'm Julio," he replied. Then he nodded at his brother, "and this is Benny."

"Well it's very nice to finally meet you," Ian smiled, "I've seen pictures of you guys in some old photo albums of Val's, but you were both a lot younger then."

"I don't really remember…." Benny admitted. He blinked at his mother. "Well, it's the truth," he insisted.

"That's okay," Ian assured him. "We're just glad to have the chance for us all to get to know one another now." He glanced at Red. "You must be Galina?" he asked, extending a hand to her.

"Yes," Red replied, offering him her own hand to shake. "It's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Ian smiled. "Let me take your coats," he offered. "And then if you just walk straight down the hall, the party is in the living room. Just follow the noise."

"We're just finishing up some stuff in the kitchen," Valentina explained. "But Gabby and the other kids are playing in the living room."

"Do you want some help?" Gloria asked her.

"No," Valentina shook her head. "I've already got lots of help." She walked out of the foyer and into the kitchen. Ian soon excused himself to go rejoin his wife.

Gloria knelt down and helped Vera off with her baby blue jacket. "Just look at that gorgeous dress!" she gasped, smiling adoringly down at the sparkly purple dress the little girl was wearing. "Don't you look pretty!" She stood back up and offered her hand for Vera to take. It was for her as much as it was for the child's sake. Gloria felt like she needed to hold onto somebody right now, and since holding Red's hand at the moment didn't seem too appropriate at present, she settled for Vera's.

"Let's go greet the birthday girl," Lida told her kids brightly. Feeling the most at ease in her surroundings, Lida led the way down the hall and into the grand living room where Gloria had shared drinks with Ian and Carmen's boyfriend, David, only weeks prior.

Stepping into the sunken living room, Lida's face lit up as she opened her arms to an older man who towered over her. He had been partially blocking the entry way, thus ensuring that nobody could pass through to the party without needing to interact with him first.

"Mr. Alvarez!" she exclaimed, "how have you been?" Red watched in astonishment at the friendly exchange between her daughter-in-law and Gloria's ex-husband. It wasn't unexpected, he was the father of Lida's childhood friends and she had spent a lot of time at his house. He had been kind and decent to her, where her own father had been critical and unduly harsh. A warm reception was only natural, but Red still couldn't help but feel like this was a betrayal. This man had put Gloria through hell all through their marriage, and now Red's daughter-in-law was embracing him.

"Oh, my, Lida," the man gushed in reply, "just look at you!" He gave her a fond smile and hugged her close.

"Don't look too close," Lida scoffed at him. "I'm as big as a house."

"Nonsense," he shook his head. "I always have thought that a woman looks her best when she is with child. Being a mother definitely suits you, my dear."

"Ah, thank you," Lida said, her hand resting on her large middle. "Have you been well?"

"Still alive," he winked, "most days I can't actually believe how old I've become. Sometimes I still feel like I'm in my twenties, and then I do something that sends Mrs. Alvarez into a fright, and reminds me that I'm not as young as I used to be."

Lida laughed at what he said and then turned to look at Red, as though she had suddenly just remembered that she was there. Red's hands were resting on Alexei's shoulders, as the little boy looked up curiously at the older man.

"Umm…." Lida giggled nervously. "Ma, this is Daniel Alvarez." Looking back up at Daniel she cleared her throat and added in a stronger voice. "And this is my mother-in-law, Galina, and _this,"_ she ruffled her son's hair, "is my son, Alexei. Can you say hi to Mr. Alvarez, darling?"

"Hi, Mr. Alv…." Alexei responded with a lighthearted laugh, the man's surname trailing off as it was too big of a mouthful for him to say.

"Hey!" Daniel smiled, and he knelt down on the floor to be at Alexei's level. "It is very nice to meet you, young man," he said seriously. "I think you're going to have fun here today."

"I want to see the magic," Alexei told him.

"Very soon," Daniel promised. "I heard the magician might even pull a rabbit out of his hat! Would you like to see that?"

"Yes!" Alexei nodded. "I want the bunny to be brown."

"I'll see what I can do," Daniel laughed. "But until then, do you want to go play in the bouncy house with Gabriella?" He pointed over his head at the huge inflated castle that had overtaken nearly the entire room and almost touched the ceiling. Gabriella was currently jumping and laughing right in the middle of it, with two other girls that she had invited from her school. To get out of the bouncy part, you had to wade through a pool of colourful balls.

"Yea!" Alexei told him. He looked up at his mother. "Where's Vera? I want her to come with me."

"I'll send her along," Lida replied, "you go ahead."

Daniel straightened back up and smiled as they all watched Alexei run off to join Gabriella and her friends. Then he turned his attention to Red, who hadn't said anything to him, but who had stood watching his interaction with her grandson, with a sort of curious expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, Galina," Daniel said apologetically, and he held out his hand to her. "I always get distracted with the kids, but it's very nice to meet you too."

"Thank you," Red said, still looking slightly taken-aback by who was standing in front of her. She held her hand out to him in reciprocation and gave him a tight, almost invisible smile. Gloria had described her ex-husband to her several times by this point, but it didn't exactly prepare one properly to see him in the flesh. So far he had been cordial and even charming, she only hoped he would maintain this aura when Gloria finally came back from wherever she had detoured.

Daniel held her hand slightly longer than was necessary, causing Red to pull back, which made him smile understandingly. "This is quite the daughter-in-law you have though," he nodded towards Lida.

"Yes, I know," Red replied simply, just as Lida exhaled a loud breath and suddenly clutched at her arm, fingernails pinching into her skin. Red turned to stare at her, but Lida immediately recovered, releasing her iron grip and casually brushing a strand of her blonde hair back.

"You must have raised a wonderful son," Daniel was saying, and Red turned her attention back to him. "I always said it was going to take a pretty special person to catch Lida's eye someday. He's a lucky man."

Red gave him a polite smile and then glanced back over her shoulder to peer down the hall. She was wondering where Gloria had disappeared. Red had thought she was walking right behind them but she must have decided to take a detour instead. Red wished she had gone with her. She hated that Gloria was putting herself through something so difficult, although she recognized the need to do so. It seemed like it would be okay anyways, Daniel seemed as though he intended to play nice.

"Ohh," Lida scoffed, and waved her hand dismissively at him. "I'm a huge nag, I lose my cool and sometimes yell, I don't become fully human in the morning until I've had my second cup of coffee, and I have an unhealthy obsession with reality tv shows which keep me up late at night when my husband wants more of my attention on himself….I could go on?"

Daniel laughed merrily as Lida listed off her faults and even Red couldn't help but smile at her candor. "Do you still watch Survivor?" he asked her. "I remember how you, Valentina, and Carmen were always begging to have a sleepover on finale nights...even though you girls had school the next morning."

"And you always said yes!" Lida reminded him cheekily.

Gloria came back down the hall and watched with a careful eye as Red and Lida conversed with Daniel in the entry of the living room. They hadn't gone too far, and they hadn't noticed until it was too late how she had retreated. It hadn't been what she wanted to do, but upon seeing the familiar form blocking the way at the end of the hall, Gloria had found her feet sliding back of their own accord as a feeling of being overwhelmed flew up inside of her. Choosing to prolong the inevitable, she had turned and gone back the way they had come, using Vera as a convenient excuse as she shuffled the little girl into the powder room with her. Julio and Benny had trailed along after them, but when their mother had emerged back into the hall they were gone.

Now as she moved back towards the living room, Gloria braced herself for the unavoidable encounter. She could see Red nodding her head politely, a simple observer in the conversation between Lida and Daniel. Neither of her sons seemed to be around them and Gloria briefly wondered where they had gone. She didn't blame them for their reluctance, it was a peculiar situation she had forced them all into, but it had been essential. Making these efforts was the only way she would ever even be able to hope that her daughters and her could be a family again.

Clutching Vera's hand for support, Gloria concentrated on her breathing so that she could pull off a convincing display of composure. She hated that this was all so hard for her. It didn't need to be a big deal, but with each step, Gloria could feel herself becoming just a little bit more afraid. Not necessarily of Daniel, but of the way he always made her feel wronged, inferior, and incompetent. She didn't want to be that person anymore, she wasn't anything remotely like that. And so Gloria continued to focus on her breathing, knowing that faking confidence until you had it would be the only way she could survive the next few hours. She needed to seem okay with everything, an equal match to Daniel who would take it all in stride, and behave as though there were nothing too awkward amiss at all.

"Your hand is wet," Vera informed her. She wriggled her tiny little fist out of Gloria's sweaty grasp and then wiped it down the thigh of Gloria's pants.

"Sorry," Gloria told her apologetically.

"Can I go play on that?" Vera asked, pointing towards the large bounce castle where all the other kids were congregated.

"Go ahead," Gloria told her and then watched as Vera by-passed her mother, grandmother, and Daniel without pausing for a second.

"And that was Vera," Lida was saying.

Gloria put on her coldest and most indifferent looking face as she went over to join them. Skidding around Red and Lida, Gloria moved to stand in front of her ex-husband. "I guess there's no way to get past you without at least saying hi," she said coolly, "so, hi."

Daniel gave her an unmistakable once over and let out a little chuckle at her abrupt greeting. "Don't hurt my feelings, Gloria!" he admonished lightly, "I think you can do better than that." And before she could react, Gloria found herself engulfed into a hug by the same strong arms that had held her so long ago. "It's really good to see you again," he told her.

Gloria awkwardly brought her arms up because she didn't want to seem completely unapproachable when Daniel was acting so overly friendly. She inhaled and caught a whiff of his cologne, which ignited a sense of familiarity. Not too much appeared to have changed with Daniel Alvarez, a fact that oddly unnerved her because she felt like she had become a completely different person from the one he had known before. She was stronger now, which was a fact she kept needing to remind herself of.

"I meant to get in touch or call," Daniel said softly, Gloria pulled back but he still kept a hand firmly gripped onto her arm. "Just to make sure you were coping okay. Especially once I learned of Lourdes' passing. I've very sorry for your loss, she was a great lady."

"She was," Gloria nodded. Raising her eyebrows at him, she finally succeeded in freeing her arm. "How have you been?" she relented to ask, taking another step back and creating some distance between them. She crossed her arms over her chest and then, realizing how defensive that looked, brought them down to dangle at her side.

"Very well," Daniel replied. He peered at her through his dark almond shaped eyes. "And you seem like you're doing okay for yourself, now."

"I am," Gloria told him.

"Good," Daniel said softly.

Uncomfortably charged silence fell between them, and Gloria shifted awkwardly on the balls of her heels. "So," she clapped her hands together to keep from fidgeting. "Where's Sarai?" She raised her eyebrows as she glanced around the room. "I thought she never left your side?"

"Oh, I think she's helping Valentina out in the kitchen," Daniel replied simply. He shook his head and gave an exaggerated sigh. "We've been working since nine this morning getting everything set up for the party," he told them, his eyes reverting back to Lida once again.

"Everything looks great," Lida told him. She nodded over at the bouncy castle. "The kids seem to be having a blast."

"We really wanted to give Gabby a nice party," Daniel told them. "Nothing's too good for my granddaughter."

"Yeah, well, speaking of _our_ granddaughter," Gloria said, "I guess I'm going to go try to catch her now."

"Or just wait," Daniel told her easily. "She's playing with her friends right now, Glo. And we're going to call them all out in a few minutes anyway to set up for the magician show."

Gloria hesitated, she had been about to walk away and pull Red along with her. Now she staggered in place and wasn't sure where to go. She looked around for someone else she might know, but her daughters and their men all appeared to be busy in other parts of the house at the moment. Aside from the playing children, she didn't know anybody else in the room.

"Won't you let me grab you a drink?" Daniel offered. He turned to Lida. "Honey, would you like some water or anything?"

"Actually, a glass of water would be great," Lida replied. "Thank you."

Daniel smiled. "I'll find you a chair as well," he told her. "You shouldn't be on your feet for too long." He looked back between Red and Gloria. "Would either of you like anything?" he asked.

"We're fine, Danny," Gloria told him stiffly.

"Alright," Daniel said simply, "I'll be back in a minute."

Once he had walked away, Red gently placed her hand on the crook of Gloria's arm and squeezed comfortingly. "Are you alright?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Gloria nodded, trying to ignore the hammering in her chest. "The hard part is over. Now all I have to do is avoid him for the rest of the day."

Red nodded her understanding. "Where have the boys gone?" she asked, with a frown, "I thought they were with you."

"Hiding?" Gloria guessed with a shrug. She had too many other things on her mind right now. "They'll turn up." She let out an obvious groan of displeasure when she saw Daniel already coming back towards them. He was like a fly that wouldn't go away and she wondered why she had even bothered hoping the two of them would just politely ignore the other's existence today.

"Here you go, dear," Daniel said, handing Lida her water. He was carrying a chair from the kitchen under his other arm, and he set it down against the wall.

"Thank you," Lida breathed a sigh of relief, and she sank onto the chair immediately. The living room had been basically cleared of all the furniture so that it could become an open play space for the children.

"Ian and David are going to bring in some more folding chairs for the adults to sit on in a minute," Daniel explained to Red and Gloria. "We didn't want the kids bouncing around on the couches so we moved them into the study for the day."

He pulled out a can of soda that he had stowed in his sweater pocket because he hadn't had a free hand to carry it. Now he held it out to Gloria. "I brought this in case you changed your mind," he said."I know you said you were fine, but you look thirsty and I know this is your favourite."

Because she didn't know what else to do with Daniel standing in front of her and holding out the drink, Gloria accepted the can of pop. She didn't open it, but held it with both hands gripping it tightly. "Good," Daniel said, his eyes focused intensely on Gloria's. He smiled back down at Lida, who had already guzzled down half of her glass of water. "Let me know if there is anything else I can get you."

"Thank you," Lida spoke up when nobody else said anything.

Gloria breathed a sigh of relief once he was gone. Despite his advisements for her not to, Daniel went over to the play space and stuck his head straight inside. "Everybody having fun?" he asked the kids, who all cheered.

Grimacing, Gloria laid the unopened pop can down on a shelf. She probably would have choked if she'd tried to have a sip of it. Mentally, she was already cursing herself for accepting it in the first place. It was minor, but it just brought back many memories of how her ex-husband had just always needed to be in control of everything. He had always wanted her to just blindly accept that he knew what was best for her, and her own judgement was not be trusted. It was a subtle thing, which she knew Lida had probably taken as a sweet form of concern for her. Even Red did not seem to have noticed anything too outwardly amiss.

Suddenly she was distracted by the ungracious thunder of footsteps as Benny came rushing over to them, Julio hot on his heel. "The upstairs of this house is so cool!" Benny announced.

"What were you doing upstairs?" Red asked him with a frown.

"Bathroom," Julio told her simply.

Gloria raised her eyebrows. "There's a powder room right off the foyer," she told him.

"Well, we didn't know that," Benny replied.

"I took you directly to it," Gloria rolled her eyes, "you just wanted an alibi in case you got caught snooping," she scoffed.

"So, did you discover anything?" Red asked them quietly.

"Val has a walk in closet that's bigger than our bedroom," Julio told her.

"And the bathtub is so deep," Benny added. "I sat in it and you almost couldn't tell I was in there. The shower is all glass and separate too."

"You sat in the bathtub?" Gloria asked incredulously. She shook her head. "Can't let you two out of my site for a minute."

"It was Benny's idea," Julio told her.

Gloria rolled her eyes, "just don't go anywhere else."

"Relax," Benny told her, "we want to see the magician show anyway."

"Well, I'm glad you two are enjoying yourselves," Red told them dryly, "even if so far you've conveniently managed to avoid interacting with anybody in here except each other."

"A brother is a friend chosen by God," Benny told her. "Would you rather we were fighting?"

"Well, then the same goes for a sister," Gloria told him, just as Carmen walked into the room.

"Hi, mom," Carmen smiled.

Gloria, temporarily taken-aback, actually looked over to see if Sarai had just walked into the room and caught Carmen's eye. She wasn't mom to her daughters, hadn't been for years. Yet, when Carmen stepped forward to give her a hug, the reciprocant of her greeting was undeniably her. Relief and happiness surged up inside of Gloria as she hugged her daughter back fiercely. Each time the two of them interacted, Gloria's youngest daughter seemed to be acting a little warmer. They talked on the phone once or twice a week now, but being called mom was so special.

"You guys have gotten so big," Carmen told her brothers awkwardly.

"Yeah, people usually grow," Benny muttered, which earned him a sharp nudge in the rib from Gloria. "Ow," Benny scowled, rubbing his side soothingly.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Carmen chose to ignore this and turned her attention to Lida instead. "How are you doing, girl?" she smiled sympathetically at her pregnant friend. Then she glanced at Red and added shyly, "it's very nice to see you again."

They all looked over when a man dressed in a traditional magician's cape and hat, walked into the room, brandishing a large trunk. He set it before the fireplace. Carmen pursed her lips in consideration and moved over to tap the magician on the shoulder. "Do you want us to start seating the kids?" she asked him.

"Okay," the magician gave her the thumbs up sign.

"Will you help me?" Carmen asked her mother.

"Of course," Gloria answered. She turned to her sons. "Come on guys," she told them, "I want you to meet Gabriella."

Julio and Benny both followed begrudgingly after their mother and Carmen, but Red hung back. Her eyes were focused intently on Lida who had gone rigid still with widened eyes. Her hands were clenched tightly around the glass of water. She gritted her teeth and made a sound between a laugh and a whimper when she noticed Red watching her.

"That's another contraction, isn't it, honey?" Red said matter-of-factly. Lida nodded her head. "Oh," Red soothed, rubbing the lower part of Lida's back that she had seen her holding before. "I'd counted one outside when we got here and another a few minutes ago, but I didn't want to say anything in front of everyone." she glanced at the large clock on the wall. "Anyway, they still appear to be pretty far apart and irregular."

"Yeah, they're just getting started," Lida breathed. "I've got time…" She wiped at her brow. "Whew…"

"Finish your water," Red advised, and Lida obediently brought the half-full glass to her lips. "Just tell me when it's time to go and I'll take you."

XXX

"Nonna, you came to my party!" Gabriella cried. She jumped out of the bouncy house and threw herself into her grandmother's arms.

"I said I would, wouldn't I?" Gloria replied, hugging her back. "And I love that you're wearing the princess dress we picked out when we played."

"Not my crown though," Gabriella informed her, touching her ringlets. "Because it would fall off when I jumped…"

"You can be a princess without a crown," Gloria replied, "because who wants to wear a heavy crown on their head all day? Princesses have to have fun too, right?"

"Yes," Gabriella replied.

"Sweetie, I want you to say hi to two special people for me," Gloria told her. "These are my sons, Julio and Benny."

"Your sons?" Gabriella repeated. She shook her head in confusion, making her curls bounce. "But how?"

"I'm their mommy, just like I'm Tia Carmen's and your mommy's mommy," Gloria explained.

"Oh," Gabriella said, although she still looked confused. She looked up at the boys. "You want to jump in my bouncy castle?" she asked them.

"Yes," Benny said instantly.

"You weigh too much," Gloria informed him.

"That's discrimination," Benny replied.

"I'm not paying for repairs if you bust that thing," Gloria told him. "It's for little kids."

"Still as strict as ever, I see," Daniel laughed, walking over to them. "How are you boys?"

"Umm...fine," Julio blinked.

"God," Daniel sighed wistfully. "It's been a long time," he smiled. "You make me feel old." He watched as Julio shared a look with his brother and rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. "You were still little the last time I saw you," he explained. Shaking his head, he nodded toward the bounce house. "Anyway, if you want to go jump then go straight ahead. I'm pretty sure those weight restrictions are only put on there for insurance purposes. You guys are fine-just don't land on my granddaughter"

"Thanks, Grandpa!" Gabriella said, "let's go!" Shrugging at one another, Julio and Benny followed after the birthday girl.

"Come on, you two," Benny beckoned kindly to Red's grandchildren. "You want me to bounce you guys high?"

Alexei eagerly went to join them, but Vera remained where she was-close to Gloria's side. The little girl still had a look of shock on her face from when she had seen Gloria and Gabriella embrace. Until today, it hadn't occurred to her that Gloria could possibly have another little girl in her life that she loved as much as her.

"Sometimes you just have to let kids be kids," Daniel explained with a smile. He stroked his hands over Vera's red hair. "You were always so strict with our daughters, Gloria. I was always needing to get you to lighten up and let them have fun. You shouldn't expect your sons to just stand around."

Gloria scoffed, "don't you think it's a bit silly for two teenagers to be hopping around with a bunch of kindergarteners?"

"They're good company for the little kids," Daniel replied. "They seem like well-adjusted boys, better than I imagined. Lourdes must have done a good job raising them."

"Excuse me?" Gloria whispered. She turned to stare at her ex-husband with daggers in her eyes.

"Well, she raised them more than you did," Daniel said matter-of-factly.

Her mouth opened in aghast, Gloria barely registered the persistent tugging on her sleeve.

"Somebody wants you," Daniel said pointedly." He walked away without a backwards glance, and his ex-wife was well aware that he was feeling pretty smug at the moment. Nothing had changed and he still knew how to hit her where it hurt. He walked away without a backward glance. Smug as always, he knew how to hit her where it hurt. Nothing had changed.

"Gloria, Gloria…" Vera began calling for her attention. Her tiny fist clenched tightly to the fabric of Gloria's shirt.

"What?" Gloria asked in exasperation, scraping her hair back with her hand. She felt Vera's hand release her and her eyes fell closed in regret. Inhaling a deep breath, she slowly sunk to her knees. Her hands on Vera's legs she stroked her thumbs along the caps of her tiny knees. "Yes, my love," she said calmly. "What is it sweetie?"Gloria felt a sense of calm wash over her at the feel of Vera's hands splaying over her shoulders. It was obvious that she had been easily forgiven.

"You'll be my Nonna too, right?" Vera asked, her left hand moving to play with the hoop dangling in Gloria's ear. She tugged at it roughly. "not just Gabby's-"

Wincing, Gloria tickled the back of her knees. "Of course, I will," she replied, continuing her assault of sweet revenge. Pulling Vera close, she hugged her tightly. Sometimes children could sense what a person needed better than anybody else could. Perhaps it was their innocence, but in that moment, Vera made her feel a lot better.

"Of course you will what?"

Gloria tipped her head back at the feeling somebody standing over her and smiled gratefully at her wife.

"What?" Red questioned, tugging playfully at a few stray grey hairs that she could see mixed in with Gloria' dark tresses.

Gloria moved her hand around her head, and caught Red's hand. "So long as Grandma is okay with sharing you…" she told Vera. "Should we ask her?" She teased. "Do you think she'll care?"

"Care about what?" Red pressed.

Vera giggled, and laid her head against Gloria's. "Grandma," she said sweetly, batting her lashes. "Will you share me?" she asked.

"With Gloria?" Red pretended to think about it, "I _guess_ I can share my little _solnyshko_ with Gloria."

"Sharing is nice," Vera reminded her. "Pulling hair is not," she batted at her grandmother's hand and moved around Gloria to brush her hair down.

"You're absolutely right," Red smiled. "Why don't you go play?" she suggested, encouraging her in the direction of the bounce house.

"Okay," Vera agreed, "but only because you said you'd share."

Rolling her eyes affectionately, Red chuckled. Turning her attention back to Gloria, she frowned at the sight of her still on the ground, head turned toward the bounce house. "Are you okay?" she asked, gently stroking her fingers through Gloria's hair

"Huh," Gloria exhaled.

"I saw him talking to you and you looked upset…" Red's nails scratched into Gloria's scalp. "Did he say anything?"

"Nothing that wasn't true," Gloria said weakly. She shook her head and shrugged, "Basically what I expected."

Before Red could inquire further, Valentina walked into the room. "Okay, kids," she called. "I want you all to come sit down on the carpet for the show now!" .

The kids all clamoured out of the bouncy house with Gabriella leading the way. They rushed over to crowd around the magician, Vera, the youngest, skipping along behind them. Looking mildly interested, Julio and Benny climbed out of the bouncy house last.

"It's not broken," Benny called over to his mother, and then he and Julio went to take two chairs in the back.

Gloria rolled her eyes and fell back against Red's legs. Encircling her arms around her legs, she locked her fingers tightly together against her shins.

"So," Red whispered, :I'm going to have to leave pretty soon, I'm afraid."

"Why?" Gloria's eyes flashed, and she turned around to face her.

"Because Lida is in labour," Red murmured. "Her contractions are starting to pick up."

"Oh, well, I guess I can't compete with that," Gloria sighed. She reached up for Red's hand and allowed her to be pulled to her feet.

"Why don't we all just get ready to go?" Red asked. "We came, you saw her-you spoke with your girls. I don't want to leave you here with him…"

"Oh, I'll be okay," Gloria replied. "May have to keep up a steady repetition of Hail Mary's in my head to keep from crushing my cake in his face, but I'm not going to let him scare me away early. That's what he wants. He doesn't want me here. He's probably furious that the girls and I are talking at all, except he'd never say that...to them."

"Okay, love," Red said, in a hushed undertone, "if that's what you think."

"You think I'm paranoid?" Gloria asked defensively.

"No, of course not," Red immediately replied. "I think you're smart...and I'm glad you won't allow him to intimidate you."

They took the seats next to Lida just in time for the magician to begin his act. Off to the side, Carmen was standing with David, her phone held up as she filmed the experience. The kids all seemed happy and the adults seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. Except for one-Lida, who had become increasingly flushed and discomforted in the minutes since her mother-in-law had left her.

"Now?" Red asked, as she reached over to hold Lida's hand. Lida immediately squeezed her tightly, cutting off the circulation in Red's hand and compressing Gloria's promise ring into her skin.

"Once the show is over," Lida whispered back breathlessly. "I want to say goodbye to the kids first." As her contraction came to a cumulative end, Lida freed Red's hand from her death grip and leaned across her to speak to Gloria, "could I leave the kids with you?" she asked, touching her arm. "I don't want them to miss the rest of the party."

"Of course," Gloria whispered back. "I'll keep them."

"I can have Yuri or Max come pick them up after," Lida said. She pulled out her phone. "I just texted Vasily what's happening and I know they're all together…"

"No, they don't need to pick them up," Gloria whispered firmly. "I can keep them for the night. Don't worry about it."

"Really? Thank you," Lida smiled. "Mmmmm," she groaned, as her hand opened and closed rapidly as she willed somebody to take it. She was already having another contraction.

"Okay that wasn't even two minutes," Red said, allowing Lida to squeeze and contort her hand again. "Let's get the hell out of here and you can call the kids tonight. They won't even notice us leave."

Nodding erratically. Lida struggled to her feet, with Red's assistance, and the two of them hurried out of the room and to the front door.

"Is it time?" Valentina asked, coming down the hall behind them. "I didn't know you were having contractions, Lida."

"They were barely noticeable," Lida told her breathlessly, "but now they're getting strong…..ah." She halted her step and bowed over as she was hit with another contraction.

"I'm getting the cab," Ian announced, and he shoved his feet into shoes and rushed out the front door.

"Sit, sit," Red ordered Lida in a stern voice that left no room for argument. Lida all but fell into a chair in the foyer as her contraction let up again. Reaching for Lida's shoes, Red helped her put them on and then took the coat Valentina handed her and draped it over Lida's shoulders. In the background, they could hear the sound of applause as the birthday party went on with everyone oblivious to the labouring woman in the hallway. Lida had been very discreet.

"Taxi is outside," Ian announced, coming back into the house.

"Thank you," Red told him. "Come on, honey," she coaxed Lida out of the door.

"I need my hospital bag," Lida told her. "It's at the house...I wasn't supposed to be due for two more weeks."

"We are not making a detour for a bag," Red replied. "You'd wind up having this baby on the kitchen floor or something and can you imagine the mess? Vasily will remember it...or we'll send someone else to get it after."

"Good luck, Lida," Valentina called. "Sort of cool that our daughters are going to share a birthday."

As Valentina went back to join the party, she couldn't help but smile as she thought of her friend and remembered that she had been the same six years ago, the day Gabriella was born. Without hesitation, Valentina took the now vacant chair next to Gloria and they shared a knowing smile.

"It's nice to see you and Daddy getting along," Valentina said quietly. "It makes me realize that we can really do this...all come together for events like this, and have it be okay."

"I promised it would be okay," Gloria reminded her.

"I know," Valentina replied. "And I appreciate it."

Once the magician's show was over, it was time to take the kids into the dining room where they were going to serve dinner and cake. Gloria got up and went over to Alexei and Vera, who both were looking around somewhat confused. They had been so fascinated by the show, that they hadn't noticed Red and Lida slipping away right in the middle of it.

"Where did Mommy and Grandma go?" Alexei asked her.

Gloria knelt down on the floor to be at their level. "Your mommy left to go have your baby sister!" she told them, "isn't that exciting?"

"But where did she go?" Vera asked.

"To a hospital," Gloria replied.

"Is she sick?" Alexei looked worried.

"No, she's not sick," Gloria told him. "That's just where the baby is going to be born. It's probably the same hospital that you were born at too." Both of the kids still looked a little worried, so Gloria took them by the hands and walked them down the hall towards the dining room. Everyone else had already headed over.

"And guess what else this means?" she told them excitedly.

"What?" Alexei asked.

"You two get to have a sleepover at my house tonight," Gloria told them. "We can stay up late and watch movies…"

"Will Grandma be there?" Alexei asked.

"She will be later," Gloria promised him, "she's just going to stay with your mommy right now."

"Will you play hide and go seek with me, Nonna?" Vera asked.

"Sure," Gloria agreed.

"Can I play too, Nonna?" Alexei asked, jumping in with his sister.

"Of course you can," Gloria told him.

When they reached the dining room, the kids climbed up onto their chairs and Gloria helped them fix their plates from the buffet spread that had been prepared. This was evidently what Sarai had been spending most of the day doing. It probably wasn't because she wanted to avoid her though, Gloria conceded. Sarai had never shown an appropriate level of guilt for her betrayal.

Sarai had been Gloria's oldest friend, the girl she had grown up with. They used to ask Lourdes to make them matching dresses and pretend to be sisters, since both were only children. It had been Sarai whom Gloria had always gone to when things were bad and she was too afraid to tell her aunt. Sarai had been the first person she had told when she'd found out she was pregnant, and it had been Sarai whom Gloria had confided in about all her marital troubles.

Gloria never could understand how a person could take that shared history and just cast it away without seeming to care in the least. A person would have to be without a soul, to listen to a woman cry about how her husband treated her and made her feel, and then turn around and f*ck that husband. She had never really been her friend, Gloria now knew. She had existed in Sarai's life until she no longer served a purpose, or until a better offer had appeared to replace her.

While the kids sat at the table, the adults stood around talking and holding their plates in their hands. Gloria purposefully avoided looking over at Daniel and Sarai, who were all cuddled up as they fed one another bites off of their plates. Gloria was sure that was purely for her benefit, nobody acted that in love at a kid's birthday party, especially when they had been married as long as the two of them had.

Gloria spent most of the meal supervising the kids and listening in as Julio and Benny chatted animatedly with Carmen's boyfriend, David. Most of the conversation revolved around college and sports, which all three of them had a lot to say about. Her sons had been dreading coming here with her today, had complained about nothing else for weeks, but now she thought they seemed glad that they did. Everyone had been kind to them and it was important for them to forge these connections. This was family.

After dinner was finished and cleared away. Ian carried a large chocolate cake with green and white frosting into the room. Everybody sang Happy Birthday and cheered when Gabriella succeeded in blowing out all of her candles in a single shot. Present time followed the cake. Gloria had gone shopping to buy Gabriella several little things, which the girl liked. She thanked everybody profusely for their gifts, which told Gloria that her parents had informed her before about proper party etiquette.

"Just wait," Daniel said, as everyone made to get up from the table. "There is still one more present for our birthday girl today."

"What is it?" Gabriella asked, almost bouncing out of her seat with excitement. Daniel just winked at her and walked purposefully out of the room.

"It's from Grandma and Grandpa," Sarai announced, speaking the first words Gloria had heard her say all day. "Because we love you so much. Do you want to see what it is?"

"Yes!" Gabriella said.

"Come see Grandma," Sarai said, beckoning Gabriella over. The little girl got up off of her chair and walked into Sarai's waiting arms, while her parents beamed-they knew exactly what was coming.

"Look what Grandpa has," Sarai whispered, just as Daniel walked back into the room with a tiny something in his arms.

"A kitty!" Gabriella exclaimed. She wriggled away from Sarai and ran over to Daniel. "Grandpa can I hold her?"

"Of course you can, love," Daniel replied. He passed the little white fluff ball to his granddaughter. It was pure white, identical to the kind you see on Cashmere Toilet paper packaging.

"What are you going to name her, baby?" Valentina asked.

"Snowball," Gabriella said automatically. Nuzzling her little kitten up to her cheek.

After everyone stopped to admire the kitten, most of the guests prepared to take their leave. Once it was just the family remaining, Ian coerced David, Julio, and Benny into helping him deal with the clean up in the living room. The bouncy castle and ball pit needed to be dismantled, and the furniture needed to be returned to its proper place.

Not completely forgotten, Gabriella came over to Gloria once her friends had gone to show off her new kitty. "Remember I told you that I wanted one for my birthday?" she said cheerfully.

"And now you have one," Gloria smiled. "She's so cute, and you picked such a good name for her!" She ran a finger over the fluffy white kitten's fur.

"Nonna? Can I show Alexei and Vera my princess castle downstairs in the playroom?" Gabriella asked.

"For a little while, sweetheart," Gloria replied, stroking back her hair, "but we're going to need to get going soon."

"Really?" Gabriella sulked.

"I promise that I will come see you very soon though," Gloria told her, knowing that Valentina would be fine with it. "I'll come see you all the time."

"Okay," Gabriella brightened at this. "I'm going to show them the playroom now," she said. The three kids hurried out of the room and bounced down the stairs. Gabriella still had her kitten clutched in her arms.

Daniel and Sarai had been watching this exchange with utmost interest, which irritated Gloria to no end. Still, once the kids were gone she became highly aware of how alone she was. Valentina and Carmen had gone into the living room to join the others, and Gloria decided to hurry and follow. She didn't want to speak to either Daniel or Sarai right now. This reminded her too much of all the times she had felt ganged up on by the two of them, whenever she had shown up to try and be a part of something her girls had been doing. Eventually they'd succeeded in driving her away, but Gloria wasn't going to let them do that again.

"So, my love," Daniel said loudly to Sarai, "Has Gloria even said hello to you yet?" His hands on her hips slid around to his wife's back and nudged her towards Gloria. He looked expectantly between the two women, as though they were children themselves that had quarreled in the past and were now expected to play nice. Gloria stared back with steady eyes, not going to blink first.

"Hello, Gloria," Sarai said stiffly, blinking first, "How are you?"

"Hello, Sarai...I'm fine," Gloria said back coolly.

"See, being nice doesn't need to be so hard," Daniel told Gloria. "If you want to be at things for Gabriella then you need to make sure you're more pleasant to be around. The girls aren't going to want you here if you upset Sarai. The least you can do is say hello without needing to be told."

"Danny-" Gloria began. She shook her head and gripped tightly to the back of the kitchen chair. Exhaling a deep breath, she said, "Look, we're having a good day, alright? I am not trying to start anything with either of you. The past is the past. Let's leave it there."

"I'm not talking about the past," Daniel replied. He stepped toward her, his hand on the same chair that she'd been using for support. "I'm upset about how you tried to walk into my granddaughter's birthday party-a party that Sarai and I contributed a lot of time and money into, and you could barely be bothered to even say hello to me."

"Are you after an apology or something?" Gloria asked dryly. At the feel of heat radiating from his own large hands, she moved her hands from the chair, to the back of her pockets. The person she had been before would have dissolved into tears and unwarranted apologies by now, but Gloria was not that person anymore. And even the part of her that was wishing she had left when Red had, was silenced. Gloria needed to be here, and she had every right to be.

"An apology would be nice," Daniel said. "Because then I'd at least know that you understand what you did was wrong."

"Wrong?" Gloria shook her head. It wasn't even worth it. "Excuse me," she said as she made a move to walk away. He walked backward and blocked her exit. "Danny… damnit," she hissed under her breath. "Move," she said firmly.

"Gloria-"

"Enough," she whispered. "I'm not doing this with you. I'm not going to allow you to intimidate me." She explained. "You want to threaten to keep my daughters and granddaughters away from me? Go ahead," she dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "You've done it before. But you should know I'm not going anywhere."

"You say that," he baited her. "But that's what you do best isn't it? Leave?"

"I'm not going to argue with you, and I'm certainly not going to stand here while you scold me like a child, Danny...not anymore. What are you hoping to get out of this?" Gloria asked, her eyes searching his. "Because I'm not going to bow down to your demands behind closed doors... you've never have the nerve to speak to me like this in front of somebody else." She squared her shoulders. "You always wait until we're alone because you know how wrong you are."

"Gloria-"

"I'm done," Gloria told his with an air of finality. "So stop it."

"I am not the enemy, Gloria," Daniel said. "You want to keep blaming me for your failings as a mother and a wife, then go right ahead. All I ever tried to do was help you."

"I don't need your help," Gloria said bitterly. She took a great sense of pride in the way her ex was looking at her, open mouthed and wide eyes. Stepping around him, she tossed a carless, "Goodnight Danny, Goodnight Sarai," over her shoulder.

Walking into the living room where all four of her children, and her two son-in-laws were hanging out together, Gloria felt pale and clammy. Downstairs in the playroom, the children could be heard laughing and she inhaled a deep breath before slowly releasing it. A part of her couldn't shake the fear of what the repercussions for speaking her mind to her ex-husband might be. Once again, she concentrated on her breathing and tried to remind herself about what truly mattered-and what didn't. She was loved beyond all reason by a woman who thought she was great just the way she was. And she had four beautiful children, an adorable granddaughter, and two (soon to be three!) bonus grandchildren that she now shared with Red.

Daniel couldn't destroy that. Gloria wouldn't let him.

"Are you alright?" Carmen asked, "you look a little pale…"

"I'm fine," Gloria lied, forcing herself to smile. There were some things she could never talk to her daughters about. Some things that would always be her fault. It was why Daniel had always been so successful at getting her to follow his rules before. And it was why she had eventually been driven away from her daughters, and stopped making a conscious effort to be a part of their lives. It didn't excuse her poor choices, but perhaps it explained them a little better.


	28. Chapter 29

"Vasily, I'm on my way with Lida to the hospital. Her labour is progressing fast so you need to get yourself down here right now," Red said sternly into the phone as she left a voicemail message. "I don't know where the f**k you are, but who the hell forgets their phone when they have a wife due to have a baby at any minute? Call me."

She hung up her cell phone and dropped it onto her lap. The carpet in the cab they were riding in smelt damp with mildew and the driver kept annoying her by glancing back repeatedly in the rear-view mirror, terrified that Lida was going to make a mess in his car. His eagerness to rid himself of them was causing him to swerve through traffic as quickly as possible, thus ensuring that they would be at the hospital in record time.

Running a hand over her face, Red glanced out the window at the grey and misty day and hoped that Gloria would be okay at the party without her. Gloria still had a lot of support with her, but Red hadn't liked some the looks Daniel had been giving Gloria. He still seemed to hunger for some control over her, even after all this time. It was subtle, but Red had noticed it because of the stories Gloria had confided in her before about him and what her marriage had been like. Red was sorry that she hadn't been able to stay, and couldn't help but think that her newest grandchildren already seemed to have a penchant for the dramatics.

"He didn't respond to my text yet either," Lida said tiredly. "Where the hell is he? Did you try everyone else?" She was flipping frantically through her phone and had already sent out messages to almost everyone else in the family. Her labours had always been relatively short, and this one seemed to be proceeding more rapidly than the others.

"I've left them all messages," Red reminded her calmly, turning away from the window she had been staring out of. "Try not to worry, he has time. And I imagine he won't be much use to you when he arrives anyway. Husbands are as useless as children when it comes to things like this."

"Well that's why I have you," Lida smiled. "Vasily is there more as something to laugh at between pains. He gets so nervous and tries not to show it, so instead he runs around like a headless chicken doing whatever tasks he can think of for me. It's quite sweet. He makes me feel loved."

"Hmm," Red mused, brushing the blonde tangled hair out of Lida's face. "Well, I'm sure he'll be along shortly."

The relationship between her son and his wife was endearing to her because it was such a good one. It went without saying that Vasily hadn't been given a great example of what marriage was supposed to be, but he'd appeared to overcome that. Red had worried her sons would never retain a healthy relationship. Yuri certainly hadn't, and Vasily and Lida had experienced several ups and downs, break-ups, and fights before they'd finally matured enough to fully commit and settle down. Red had never been privy to their most tumultuous early years, but Dmitri had always kept her well informed and she had always believed that Lida was the girl that Vasily needed to shape up for and marry before it was too late. She hadn't been wrong and things were very good now.

"Ahhh," Lida moaned, doubling over in pain as another contraction struck her. In the front seat their taxi driver scowled and honked his horn at an idling car that was in his way. Red automatically offered Lida a hand to hold, which she grasped onto as though it were a life preserver. Red was a reassuring presence through this anony that was labour, and Lida was pleased she was there for her.

"You're doing great," Red praised, while absentmindedly she scrolled through her phone. None of her sons had replied yet, which left little doubt in their mother's mind that they were all together somewhere. Nicky hadn't replied to her text yet either, which irritated Red to no end. Her finger tapping on her daughter's name on the screen, Red hit dial.

She held the phone up to her ear and squeezed Lida's hand back reassuringly. The girl was still emitting dull moans which concerned her. These contractions were extremely long, with several agonizing peaks throughout them. She'd been having one after the other so persistently that there wasn't even any point in timing them. The baby would be there soon.

"Hello?" Nicky grumbled into the phone, and Red let out a gasp of relief. She had just been about to hang up, ready to curse out all her children and their knack for disappearing right when she needed them most.

"Nicky!" Red exclaimed. "Oh, thank God! Why didn't you reply to my texts?"

"I was sleeping," Nicky explained nonchalantly. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Red repeated. "Lida is in labour."

"Really?" Nicky said, perking up a little as this bit of news peaked her interest. "Is that what that noise is? She sounds like a wounded cow…"

"Listen to me," Red said sternly, ignoring Nicky's remarks. "I need you to go by Vasily's house and see if you can find him. Then check Yuri and Maxim's...none of them have answered me either."

"Okay," Nicky sighed. "I'll do my best."

"Thank you," Red said briskly, and she hung up the phone.

It was nearing three minutes by the time her contraction let up, and Lida all but fell sideways into Red's arms, breathless and needing a rest. This labour was progressing rapidly but it was really exerting her, which wasn't great when she needed to save her energy for pushing. She was getting hardly any breaks in between. Red felt relieved when the hospital came into sight and she realized that they had made it. Lida still had some time to go, but it wouldn't be long and Red felt better knowing that the baby wouldn't be born in a dirty cab.

"Let's go," Red said, wiping beads of sweat off of Lida's forehead with a Kleenex from her bag. "Are you okay to walk?"

"Yes," Lida said impatiently, struggling to stand up. "I don't want to sit anymore." She waddled ahead of her, through the automatic doors of the hospital, while Red retrieved Lida's purse and cell phone from the seat of the cab for her. She handed some waded-up bills to the driver and then hurried after her daughter-in-law

Lida hadn't make it too far when she was almost knocked over by a sudden rising peak within her. "Why the f**k do I keep doing this to myself?" she moaned, as Red hurried through the doors and to her side. While Lida staggered, bent over at the waist, Red pulled her hair back out of her face and made shushing sounds to try and quiet her. Everybody in the waiting room was looking over at them with utmost interest. And a nurse got up from behind the admittance desk with a knowing smile on her face.

"Where is the maternity ward?" Red asked.

"Third floor," the nurse replied. She tilted her head to examine Lida, who was beginning to recover from the strong assault. "You want a wheelchair, sweetie?"

"No, I don't" Lida said firmly.

XXX

She was given a hospital gown to change into and was led into a room while Red followed closely. She pulled off her dress and undergarments quickly and tossed them onto the bed. Slipping the gown on, she wrapped it around herself before she felt the rising peak of another contraction overcome her. She fell forward, with her hands braced on the bed and her head bowed. As Lida shivered and grunted in pain, Red went to stand behind her and began kneading deep circles on her back, using as much force as she could muster.

"Too many more like that and I won't be able to go on," Lida said desperately, when it had ended. She kept trying to remind herself that she always felt like this and that it only meant that her body was doing as it was supposed to. Everything was proceeding beautifully, although it didn't feel like that to her right now. All she could think about was the pain and, despite this being her third child, she was growing increasingly panicked with each rising contraction.

"You're doing such a good job," Red said. Reaching for the ties on Lida's hospital gown, she knotted it for her. "You're nearly there."

Lida nodded her understanding, her face still scrunched up in anxious anticipation. The resting time between her pains was minimal now. "Ahhh," she cried, after what felt like mere seconds. She bent back over the bed again, while Red's hand resumed their strong rubbing that seemed to help some. The peaks were beginning to climb over her fairly high pain threshold and she knew she couldn't tolerate much more. She was in transition and very soon it would be time to push.

"Mrs. Reznikov, once you're through with this one I'm going to get you on the bed so I can monitor the baby," an older and unimpressed looking nurse said nonchalantly, as she walked through the door. Catching Red's eye, she asked, "has her water broken yet?"

"Not yet," Red said, "but her contractions are coming one after the other. When is the doctor going to examine her?"

"He's on his way," the nurse replied.

Lida looked up at Red will wild eyes once her pains had lifted. "Lying on my back makes it worse," she said panicky. She was in the full throttles of back labour, and any position that added additional pressure to her tender back made her feel as though she were on fire.

"You're going to have to lie down for the doctor to check your dilation anyway," the nurse told her, "and I'm pretty sure he's going to want to break your water himself to move things along."

Red cupped her hand behind Lida's head, clenching a fistful of her tangled locks. "Just get onto the bed and stay seated until the doctor comes in," she coaxed, "you don't have to lie down right away."

Whimpering, Lida crawled up onto the bed with Red placing a supportive hand on her back. As soon as she sat down it felt like an electric current had raced up her spine and she jumped onto her knees. She changed her position so that she was on all fours on the bed, just when there was a popping sound and her waters gushed. As she felt the flow of water between her legs, Lida moaned and rocked her hips forward. Active tears were flowing down her cheeks as she was overtaken once again by another mammoth of a contraction.

"I have to push! I have to push!" she cried, completely losing her head in this moment of excruciating pain.

"Not yet!" the nurse cried," the doctor isn't here yet." Looking to the supply table she grabbed a pair of latex gloves and pulled them onto her hands. Then she reached for a cotton pad and placed in onto the bed, over the wetness where Lida's membranes had ruptured.

"You have to lie back," the nurse commanded, "and I'll check to see if you're fully dilated."

"Mmmmm," Lida moaned, as Red's hands found her shoulders and pulled her back persistently. Lida crushed her back into the mattress, pinning Red's hands beneath her and causing her to wince.

"Vasily's not here," she looked up at Red pitifully. "Where is he? You said he'd come…"

Red gritted her teeth and glanced helplessly towards the door. "Try panting if you feel like pushing," she suggested. "You're so close. The baby is going to be in your arms very soon. Focus on that."

"You're nine centimeters," the nurse informed her, "not quite done but nearly there. I'm going to go see what's keeping the doctor. Don't push!"

Lida let out a noise of frustration as Red succeeded in freeing her hands from between Lida's back and the bed. She walked over to the window where she had dropped her purse and reached for the two cell phones that had been stowed away inside. A piercing scream behind her caused her to drop the phones before checking them, and hurry back over to the bed where Lida was crying out in agony, the crushing pain in her back making everything worse. With difficulty, Red helped maneuver Lida back onto all fours so that her stomach was dangling and not adding any more pressure to her back.

"Pant, pant, breath," Red reminded her, and at the sound of her voice, Lida stopped panicking and began to take deep alleviating breaths until the contraction released its hold on her again.

She went through another one before the doctor finally appeared in the doorway. "I expect you're about ready to push," he said cheerfully.

"You think?" Lida snapped in frustration. It had taken all her willpower to refrain from attempting to push this baby out despite what they said.

When there was a lull between her piggybacking contractions, Red helped settle her daughter-in-law back into a sitting down position, which made Lida whimper in pain but couldn't be helped. Her legs spread as wide as she could, Lida reached her hands beneath her to grip at her own thighs and pull them as far back as she could, her knees almost brushing her breasts. The nurse had set up the stirrups for her feet, but Lida didn't use them. The doctor examining her cervix nodded his satisfaction when he realized she was fully dilated.

"Push," he said simply, when the next contractions rocked her. This time Lida didn't scream. So relieved she was to finally be able to do something. To give in to her urge to get this baby out. Her face turned purple, as she brought her chin down to her chest and worked as hard as she possibly could. Red and the nurse were each bracing one of her legs for support and everyone was cheering her on.

"I-can't-do anymore," Lida exclaimed, falling back against the pillows in exhaustion. The contraction was over and her body was now giving her time to rest. The breaks between pushing were much longer than the near constant agony of the transitional stage.

"I saw the top of the baby's head," Red told her, smiling encouragingly. "Two more pushes...maybe three...I bet she'll be out. You can do three more for me can't you?"

"Uh huh," Lida nodded her head frantically, and then she arched her back up off of the bed again and moaned. "Again!" she cried out, and pushed even harder than she had before. Holding up Lida's leg for her, Red couldn't resist taking another glimpse and saw the top of the baby's head emerging. She could tell that the baby was going to have thick black hair like her father.

"Oh my god, oh thank god, I made it!" a voice cried from the doorway, and everyone in the room turned to see Vasily rush through the door.

"Where the hell have you been?" Lida asked him angrily. As Vasily rushed over to her side and placed a hand on the top of her head protectively. "And don't you dare kiss me! I am so mad at you right now...I just want to-"

Her words were cut off as she felt the push to bear down again. Her body doing what it knew instinctively to do and Lida groaned through the agony as she worked with the pain. With Red and the nurse bracing her legs and Vasily's encouraging hands on her shoulders, Lida pushed harder than ever before. Wanting and willing this to be it. She grunted through clenched teeth and beads of sweat dripped down her face until she thought she had given all she had to give.

"I can't-" she moaned.

But Red cut her off. "More, Lida, more!" she coaxed. "This will be it! Don't stop!"

And even though she was shaking her head and wanting to give up, Lida started pushing once again, grunting through clenched teeth as beads of sweat dripped down her face. With Red and the nurse bracing her legs and Vasily's encouraging hands on her shoulders, Lida powered through the burning agony and was rewarded when the nurse reached and guided her hand down to feel the top of the baby's head. Excitement replacing her panic, Lida gave one more great push and then fell back as her baby's cries filled the room.

Feeling a rush of blood to her head, Red suddenly realized that she had been holding her breath in those final moments. All she could do was stare, as the doctor lifted the baby up to its mother's chest and the nurse covered the two of them with a heated blanket. Vasily reached out a hand to caress his daughter's head. He moved to kiss his wife's cheek-who did not resist, but deliberately turned so that he caught her lips instead. All was forgiven, and Lida was laughing happily as she stroked the baby's cheek.

The doctor delivered the placenta and Lida barely even noticed what was happening to her. Vasily cut the cord as he had done at Alexei and Vera's births as well. All Lida had eyes for was her newborn daughter. The pain of labour was already forgotten, as nature always intended it to. Red stood back and smiled as she saw tears brim in her son's eye while he held his family close. Even though she had wanted to strangle him when he'd rushed in at the last possible second, now all she felt was pride swelling up inside of her. She had raised a good son, who had grown up to be a wonderful man.

"What's her name?" Red asked. Vasily and Lida hadn't divulged that bit of information to anyone yet. They had been keeping it a secret. A little part of her that had only been known to her parents. Their secrecy had driven Red insane.

"Emilia Grace," Vasily told his mother. Lida grinned up at him and then turned her attention immediately back down to her baby. Nobody had examined her yet or had done anything. She was just being held by her mama, skin to skin, and all was well. When Emilia began rooting, Lida latched the babe onto her breast with the practiced ease that came from nursing the two babies before her.

" _Posle babushki?"_ Red asked in astonishment and her son nodded. It had never occurred to her that Vasily would be inclined to name one of his children after the grandmother that he had never even met. After Red's mother, who had only known of her three grandsons through letters and photographs. She'd always loved them though, and had written to them weekly from the time they were born. Red had saved all of the letters and read them aloud to her sons as they grew up. Their Babushka would write them stories about her life, past and present, and all about what their mother had been like as a little girl, which were tales the boys had thoroughly enjoyed. It had always been a source of unyielding comfort to Red that both of her parents had at least died long before they'd ever learned of the mess that she and Dmitri had gotten themselves into. Her mother had always been so proud of her and had wanted amazing things for her. It would have destroyed her to learn that her daughter had wound up in prison.

Emilia nursed from both of her mother's breasts before Lida finally consented to allow the nurses to take the baby to examine and weigh her. She was a solid eight pounds, her biggest baby yet. And they diapered and swaddled her up before returning Emilia to her mother's waiting arms.

"Where's my bag?" Lida asked suddenly, looking inquisitively up at Vasily. "Did you remember my bag?"

'It's right here," Vasily replied, pointing at a chair by the door where he had tossed it hurriedly upon arrival. "Do you need something?"

"I want to take a shower," Lida said firmly. "And all my clothes and stuff are in there."

"Are you sure you feel alright to shower?" the nurse asked. "You've lost a lot of blood. You don't feel too dizzy?"

"I'm fine," Lida told her. "I feel completely normal now….also starving." she turned to her husband. "Will you go find me a burger or something to eat?"

"I'll see what I can do," Vasily chuckled. "I'll go down to the cafeteria."

After Vasily was gone, Red opened up Lida's hospital bag and began setting everything out for her. She had packed a lot for herself and baby. Red pulled out a pair of loose comfortable pajamas and the thick pads Lida had bought for herself because she hated what was provided in the hospital. She carried her shampoo and soap into the bathroom and switched the faucet on. The nurse had given her okay for Lida to get up, provided that somebody stayed with her.

"Will you hold the baby while I shower?" Lida asked.

"Is that a serious question?" Red asked incredulously, so eager she was to finally get to cradle her newest grandchild.

Lida passed Emilia into her grandmother's waiting arms and then slowly crawled out of the bed. She wrinkled her nose in distaste as she felt blood gush with every movement, but otherwise she was feeling perfectly fine. Just a little bit sore. She walked slowly into the bathroom and stripped off the soiled hospital gown, which she left in a heap on the floor. Stepping into the shower, she let out a contented sigh of relief when the warm water hit her body. She just wanted to feel clean.

Red had followed her into the bathroom to make sure she was okay and sat down in a plastic chair to snuggle the baby. Emilia blinked back up at her and Red felt a surge of love pass through her in this perfect moment. She hadn't held a newborn since her own children's births and had forgotten just how happy it made her feel. She had missed out on experiencing this with her other four grandchildren and was filled with a sense of gratitude that she'd never miss anything again.

One she was showered, Lida dressed herself in the fresh clothing and beamed down at her baby. "It's always worth it once it's done" she smiled. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"She's gorgeous," Red agreed, "and you did amazing today."

"Thanks for being with me," Lida said graciously.

Vasily returned with a load of food and Red was glad to have a reason not to hand the baby back over just yet. Lida enthusiastically ate the burger, fries, and strawberry milkshake that her husband had brought her. Red sat quietly in a chair, taking the time to memorize every piece of her newest grandchild. From her dark black hair, to her dainty little nose, and the pale blue eyes that were currently looking up at her. Red kissed each finger and smiled when Emilia wrapped her entire hand around one of hers. Red could have stayed and held her for hours, but once Lida had finished her food, Red knew she needed to give the baby back.

"Tomorrow I can bring Alexei and Vera by to meet their new sister," Red offered, as she handed Emilia back to Lida.

"Yeah," Lida agreed. "Aww I miss the two of them so much. I sort of want to call them, but they're probably already asleep. Do you think?"

"Probably," Red replied, though she doubted putting them to bed at their usual time had been on Gloria's list of priorities. She may have been stern about her own kids, but when it came to the grandchildren, Gloria was a complete softy. Red was pretty sure that she'd be returning home to two wide awake and very happy children.

"I'll walk you out, Ma," Vasily offered. She said her goodbyes to Lida and then forced herself to look away from the sleeping baby. It had been an incredible night and Red knew how lucky she was to be a part of it. It meant the world to her.

She shook her head. "I didn't know whether to kiss you or kick you when I saw you run in," Red said, as she and Vasily walked down the hall together. She shook her head. "You know your wife would have been heartbroken if you hadn't gotten here in time."

"Well, I did get here in time," Vasily replied. "So it's all's well that ends well, and I'll make it up to her."

"You'll be making it up to her for the rest of your life," Red told him. "I hope you at least have a decent alibi."

"I was fixing up some loose shingles on the roof," Vasily replied. "Yuri and Max were helping me. We left out cell phones inside. But fortunately, Nicky showed up and told me to get going. Thank God she did or I would have missed it."

"Who the hell doesn't check their cell phone for hours when they have a pregnant wife due at anytime," Red rolled her eyes. "Honestly-"

Vasily let out a little laugh and ran a finger across his mouth. "I guess I just didn't expect today to...amaze me as much as it did," he told her. "Like we already had the boy, had the girl...but," he took a deep breath and then smiled. "I was just blown away as soon as I saw her, Ma. It's like I didn't even realize how much I needed that precious girl until now.

"That's how I felt about you when you were born," Red said fondly. "I already had two little boys keeping me busy and I was working more than ever. When I found out you were on the way I couldn't figure out how I was going to make you fit." She reached out to grasp her son's arm as they walked outside into the cool November night. "And then you were born, and you were so perfect, and I loved you beyond all words. My third and final baby. All I wanted to do was cherish, soak you in, and never let you go. But you all grew up too fast."

"I'm so glad that you were here today, Ma," Vasily said, wrapping an arm around his mother's shoulders. There was a waiting taxi, but neither made a move towards it yet. Red was looking up at her son with a tender expression on her face, waiting for him to continue speaking. "I was without you for so long and we survived it, but now I don't even understand how I managed to do one day. I just needed you so much."

"I know," Red agreed, bowing her head in shame. "I don't know how we survived it either. I suppose we did because we didn't have any choice."

"I never take for granted having you around to see and talk to whenever I want," Vasily rubbed his mother's arm. "And it means the world to me that you're here for all the important moments now, like for my daughter being born."

Red looked up at him again and smiled. Her blue eyes were sparkling and she said seriously, "I'm never going to miss anything again." Vasily walked her over to the idling taxi cab with his arm around her shoulders and then hugged her tightly.

"I love you, Mama," he said.

"I love you too," Red kissed his cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow and we can make a plan about when to bring by the kids. Maybe after lunch?"

"Sounds good to me," Vasily replied.

XXXX

On the drive, Red rested her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. It had been such an emotionally charged and exciting day. She could barely contain herself and was eager to get home so that she could tell Gloria everything that had happened and about how precious Emilia was. It had turned out to be one of the most incredible days of her life and she hoped that Gloria had coped alright with Daniel and Sarai once she had gone.

It was nearing ten o'clock when Red unlocked the door to her apartment and let herself inside. Julio was on his laptop at the kitchen table and Benny was playing video games, but they both paused and looked up expectantly when she walked in.

"Well?" Julio prompted her.

"Did Lida have the baby?" Benny asked eagerly.

"Let me get my coat off first," Red told them with a smile. She unzipped her jacket and hung it up. Then she slipped off her shoes and placed them carefully on the mat.

"Gosh, you're slow," Benny complained, when Red finally came over and sat down beside him. Julio got up from the table and perched on the arm of the sofa.

"They named her Emilia Grace," Red told them. "After my mother. She has dark black hair, like Vasily, and blue eyes. And she's already so alert, looking all around at everything with such a serious expression."

"Nice," Julio smiled, "how's Lida?"

"She's good," Red told him. "Was up out of bed and doing everything herself before I left. She and the baby will probably go home tomorrow or the next day."

"Cool," said Benny. Losing interest with the conversation he picked up his game controller and then turned back to Red. "Feel like racing against me? Julio won't-he has homework," he rolled his eyes.

"Maybe tomorrow," Red told him, stifling a yawn. "I'm too tired."

"It's only ten o'clock," Benny pointed out. "What are you so tired for? It's not like you had to push out a baby, you just watched somebody else do it."

"Not everybody slept in until noon like you," Red reminded him, "no wonder you're so wide awake." Smoothing his hair back, she got to her feet. "I'm going to bed...I'll see you in the morning."

The door to her bedroom was open ajar and Red could see the blue light from the flickering screen bouncing off of the walls. Careful not to make a sound in case they were all sleeping, Red pushed the door open more and tiptoed inside. A flush of happiness warmed her insides as she took in the adorable scene before her. Gloria lying in the middle of the bed, with a bowl of candy on her lap, and a sleeping child cuddled on either side of her. Alexei and Vera must have dozed off in the middle of the movie, but Gloria hadn't moved. She didn't want to wake them.

"No Little Mermaid?" Red asked in surprise, citing Vera's favourite, which she asked for every single day.

"We finished it a couple of hours ago," Gloria told her, busy digging around in the mix bowl of candy for a kind that appealed to her. "You know these kids have never seen Pocahontas? I mean seriously, so we watched that one too."

"And what's this one supposed to be?" Red asked, pointing at the screen.

"Lilo and Stitch, where have you been?" Gloria teased, pausing with a sugary gummy worm mid-way to her mouth. "You'd probably like it. Stitch kind of reminds me of Nicky."

"Really?" Red chuckled, as Gloria popped the gummy worm into her mouth. Red perched herself on the foot of the bed and raised her eyebrows at Gloria expectantly. "You haven't even asked about her yet," she pouted.

Gloria laughed, "I was wondering how long it would take you to burst," she teased. "Tell me all about the little angel."

"Oh, Gloria, she's so perfect," Red gushed. "Eight pounds and eighteen and a half inches. She has lots of black hair and blue eyes, and the cutest little nose. I'd say she definitely takes after her father. She looks just like Vasily did when he was born."

"She sounds beautiful," Gloria said. "What did they name her?"

"Emilia Grace," Red replied. "Emilia was my mother's name. Vasily never even met her, but Lida let him name this baby because she picked Alexei and Vera. And Grace was Lida's Grandmother."

"That's so sweet," Gloria said. "I pissed everybody off when I had my kids because they're not named after anybody. I just picked names that I liked...well, Danny named the girls, I suppose. But Lourdes was offended that I didn't honour my mother for the middle name at least."

"Hmm," Red considered her. She trailed her hand over Gloria's leg that was hidden beneath the comforter. "How did things go with him after I left? Did he talk to you any more?"

"Oh, yeah," Gloria breathed, and she felt Red's hand tighten around her calf protectively. "But I handled him."

"You did?" Red nodded her approval.

"Well, he tried to corner me in the dining room once everyone else had left," Gloria explained quietly. "He and Sarai together actually-but I stood up for myself. That's about all I can do, I guess."

" _Khuyesos,_ " Red cursed Daniel in Russian. "You shouldn't have to do that at all."

"Such is life," Gloria shrugged. "I've been trying not to think about it since I left, actually. I've been distracting myself with these two tiny friends." She motioned to the sleeping kids nestled up against her. "Even though they bailed on me and passed out right in the middle of the good part. Left me with all this tempting candy to eat alone too."

"That _is_ a lot of candy," Red said, peering into the bowl. "Where did it all come from?"

"Benny keeps a stash in his dresser," Gloria told her. "The kids and I raided it when he wasn't looking...hey, if he didn't want me to know about it, he should have put his own laundry away."

Red laughed and pulled the blanket up a little higher on Alexei. "I sort of want to wake them up and tell them all about their baby sister," Red admitted wistfully, "but I suppose I'll restrain myself."

"You better believe you will, lady," Gloria replied. "You wake them up and it will take forever for them to fall asleep again, and I'm tired."

"I thought you were enjoying your movie?" Red motioned to the tv screen where "Lilo and Stitch" was still playing.

"Actually, I was just waiting for you," Gloria admitted with a smile. "I figured that you would be home soon, and I haven't fallen asleep at night once since I moved in here without kissing you goodnight first."

"Really?" Red whispered.

"Yeah," Gloria nodded. "I didn't want to deprive you…"

Red trailed her hand up Gloria's leg as she got up from her perch at the foot of the bed and leaned over to kiss Gloria's lips. "Mmm," she murmured appreciatively, "you taste delicious." She licked the residue sugar off of her own lips and then brushed Gloria's mouth again, savouring the sweetness. In sleep, Vera shifted and Red reluctantly pulled away. "I suppose I'll go get changed," she sighed.

When she returned from the bathroom, Gloria switched off the television, engulfing the room in darkness. The light from the street danced across the covers and Red used it to guide herself to bed. Gloria held open the blanket for her to crawl beneath, which she did. She squeezed herself onto the edge of the mattress. Fidgeting uncomfortably, she wriggled closer to Alexei and stroked his blonde hair back.

"Is this okay?" Gloria asked her sleepily. "I should have set up the air mattress for them or something before, but I didn't think."

"No, it's cozy," Red replied. "I like sharing them with you-sharing my life with you, and getting to be a part of yours. Like your sons, they're just such a gift to me. I don't think I say that enough…"

Gloria reached out a hand to caress her cheek in the darkness. "I love our life so much," she whispered back. "Every day I wake up and think about how blessed I am to have you, and everything that comes with that. It's just pure happiness."

Red covered Gloria's hand on her cheek and then pulled it back, entwining their fingers. She kissed Gloria's knuckles, and then rested their joined hands on top of her pillow, next to her face, and above their sleeping grandson. "Goodnight, my love," she whispered.


	29. Chapter 30

"Come on, boy, I'll race you!" Julio Mendoza called. Tugging on the leash, he broke into a sprint as the golden retriever began running alongside him. Heavy snowflakes were falling from the sky and sticking to the sidewalk, instead of melting the moment they landed. Julio's boots and Duke's paws left tracks on the ground, as they kept up a steady pace. The dog had no desire to try and pull ahead. He was loyal to a fault, and Julio considered him his best friend.

When they reached home, Julio tapped his foot on the bottom step up to the porch, as though it was a marking at the finish line. His cheeks were flushed pink from the cold and as he panted, he could see his breath. His hood had blown off, and his hair was covered in large snowflakes. Staring up at him, Duke's golden coat was also wet with snow. The dog looked as though he could have been smiling and his tail was wagging merrily. He watched as Julio brushed off his head, and then shook himself off also.

"Duke loved the snow," Julio announced, as he walked into the apartment. With him came a huge gust of wind, which flew through the room and made Gloria shiver from her place on the sofa. Rubbing her hands over her arms Gloria gave her son a warm smile.

"Thanks for walking him, baby," she said graciously.

"I like to," Julio replied. Kneeling down he unhooked the leash from the dog's collar. Duke bounded into the room, turned around twice, and then curled up in his doggie bed in the corner, beside the tv.

"I know you do," Gloria replied. "But she was so hell bent on getting out today and doing it herself. Wouldn't even listen to reason when I told her it was a frigid blizzard out there."

"I was going to say a winter wonderland," Julio said cheerfully, as he hung up his coat. He kicked off his boots and put them neatly on the mat. "But I suppose it depends on how you feel about it."

"I don't like snow," Gloria involuntarily shivered at the thought of what was happening outside.

"You've always made that clear," Julio snorted. He walked over to the couch and plopped himself down beside his mother. "I remember how you used to stand around drinking hot tea and complaining that you couldn't feel your toes, whenever Benny and I dragged you outside to help us build a snowman."

"And yet, I still sacrificed my hat and scarf for Frosty," Gloria rolled her eyes. "Not to mention walking through the trees in the park to find suitable sticks for his arms. You guys were so freaking particular…."

Julio laughed. "Deep down though I think you had some fun."

"Well…" Gloria shrugged, "I mean, it wasn't what _I_ would consider to be a good time, but…" she winked at him, "I never had more fun than when I was hanging out with my two favourite guys."

A loud sigh from the hallway caused them both to look over, just in time to see Benny walking into the room, looking very peculiar with the front of his hoodie pulled up over his mouth and nose. Catching them staring at him, he rolled his eyes and shrugged his sweater down. Walking over to stand beside his mom, Benny shook his head at her in exasperation.

"What?" Gloria asked finally, when he still didn't say anything.

"What did I ever do to you?" Benny complained, throwing himself down into the armchair. He drummed his fingers on it and then straightened up to stare his mother in the eye. "I'm not going back in there, you can't make me."

"What did she do this time?" Gloria asked. "All I asked you to do was bring her some juice."

"And I brought it to her," Benny replied. "I even stuck around long enough to get her more Kleenex and another blanket because she was cold. I even offered to fluff her pillows, and do you know what she said after all of that?"

"Thank you?" Julio guessed with giggle.

"Ha," Benny scoffed. He shook his head at his mother, who was leaned back on the couch with her arms folded behind her head. "She said that it's all my fault that she's in this predicament in the first place. Of all the ungrateful-"

"Well, technically you did give her your flu," Julio chuckled. "You were the first one to get sick."

"That doesn't prove anything," Benny protested. "She could have picked up a bug anywhere."

"She could have," Gloria conceded, linking her hands together and stretching them high about her head, "but I'm still glad I've kept a safe distance from the two of you lately. I don't want to get sick."

"Nobody does," Benny rolled his eyes. "But the least she could do is stop acting like I sneezed in her face or something gross. She acts I was hoping to get her sick so that she wouldn't be able to go see Emilia. She's taking this personal."

"Well, aren't we going to Lida and Vasily's for dinner on Christmas Eve anyway?" Julio asked his mom. The family was all planning to gather at their house because they had the most space to accommodate everybody. However, all of the preparations for the feast were being taking care of by Red, Gloria, and Klara ahead of time. With everything that came with having a newborn, Lida wasn't in the best place to be overseeing much of the Christmas events, which was quite alright with Red who enjoyed doing it herself for the most part anyways.

"We are," Gloria nodded, "but Galina hasn't been too pleased about needing to keep away the last couple of days."

"She's over there all the time lately," Benny complained, "you'd think she'd enjoy a break from the screaming."

Emilia was over a month old now and growing like a weed. She was a fussy baby though and between her and the other two kids, Lida had been exhausted lately. Red had been going over there almost every evening after work to help out with supper, putting Alexei and Vera to bed, and cuddling the baby while Lida showered or took a nap. Emilia was not a good sleeper and had been struggling with reflux which made her fussy much of the time. Even so, she was so completely adored by her parents and grandmother.

"Galina doesn't like to slow down," Gloria said casually. "She probably wouldn't even have stayed home from work yesterday if I hadn't insisted."

"Oh yeah, I got an earful of that too," Benny smirked. "Personally, I think it's a bit much to act like the world is going to end just because she has to spend a couple of days in bed. I was out of school for a week., and did you see me complaining? No. It's called making the best of a bad situation."

"Yeah, I'm still convinced you'd have been okay to go back on day three," Gloria said lazily. "You were really milking it those last two days home."

"That's what you said when I had my tonsils removed," Benny complained. "Some bedside manner. No wonder Galina offered to look after me instead of you…"

"I'm sure she's really feeling good about that choice now that she exposed herself to all your germs," Gloria retorted. "You had the flu, you're not dying. I don't think that necessitates a nurse."

"Then how come you're making me wait on her?" Benny complained.

"Eh," Gloria shrugged. "It's good practice for when we're sick old ladies who need you to take care of us."

"Screw that," Benny scoffed, "I'm putting you in a home."

"Isn't that the way?" Gloria sighed expressively. "Have kids, give them everything, and then they up and abandon you in your old age."

"Don't be dramatic," Benny told her, "it's not like I wouldn't visit. Maybe I'd even be extra nice and sneak you in cigarettes."

"Throw in a bottle of wine, a nice looking Brazilian guy, and you've got yourself a deal," Gloria chuckled.

"A guy, huh?" Benny raised his brow. "I can't keep up with you."

"Wine?" Julio considered distractedly. "Well, that would be a good idea for your Christmas gift, I guess…. except we're not old enough to buy alcohol yet."

"Well, not without fake ID's," Benny sniggered. At the sight of his mother glaring at him, he immediately wiped the smile from his face. "Not that we'd know anything about that," he added quickly.

"You better hope you don't," Gloria narrowed her eyes. "Also? Seriously guys? Day before Christmas Eve and you're just starting to think about what to get me now?"

Julio grinned sheepishly. "I thought this was ahead of schedule, actually."

"Typical," Gloria observed, as she wrapped an arm around Julio's shoulder and motioned with her other hand for Benny to come join them on the couch. When he did, she pulled him close and just savoured the feel of being with her two sons.

"I don't need anything tomorrow because just getting to spend this Christmas with you guys is the best gift I could ever receive," Gloria told them. She kissed each of their cheeks and then added. "But if you still really want to get me something, how about a gift card to Starbucks? I drink that stuff to stay alive at work all day and that shit is expensive."

"Works for me," Benny grinned. He could hardly remember the last time he had actually been looking forward to celebrating Christmas, or really anything for that matter, but he was very excited about it this year. They all were.

As a family, they'd all gone to pick out a real Christmas tree together and then had decorated it with all of the ornaments, glass balls, photographs, and ribbons that Red had collected through the years. The Harry Potter souvenir ornament she had gotten Julio for Christmas the previous year, hung proudly in the very center. They'd hung stockings for them all, including the pets, and Red had adorned the kitchen table with a festive tablecloth and a beautiful winter centerpiece she had bought last boxing. Wrapped presents for Julio, Benny, and the rest of their family were under the tree. Red and Gloria had agreed together to save their money rather than buying one another gifts. They had instead decided to go back to the same castle hotel in the country that they had visited on their first trip alone together. They wanted to see what the place looked like in winter, but mostly they just wanted a couple of days to themselves.

"I'd like us to go to midnight mass on Christmas as well," Gloria reminded them. "I know that you guys and Lourdes usually went to the earlier one, but I've always preferred midnight and then we won't be rushing, since I know Galina is going to want to stay at Vasily and Lida's until pretty late."

It was quite traditional for Red's family to stay up to all hours on Christmas Eve playing cards and other games together. They'd put the kids to bed and the adults would continue having fun downstairs. Gloria wanted to be a part of that, but it was also important to her to go to church, which was what her sons had grown up doing and what Red had agreed to attend with them now. Christmas day would be more informal, a peaceful day at home, just the four of them, and probably Nicky and Lorna-once they got done with their dutiful visit to the Morello family. Valentina had invited them all over to celebrate with them, but Gloria had decided against exposing Red and her sons to more of Daniel jut yet. They were going to go hang out at Valentina's on boxing day, when Daniel and Sarai would be away, instead. It seemed like a better plan.

"Works for me," Julio said agreeably. "We can light a candle for Tia too, maybe."

Gloria brushed his hair back with her hand and smiled. "I think that's a really good idea," she told him. She sighed heavily. "It's going to be sad not to have her with us this year, but I know she'd be so happy for us. Even though I miss her, I'm feeling pretty blessed this season."

"We are too," Julio assured her, and Benny nodded his agreement.

They stayed like that for a little while longer. Both boys seeming to mutually decide to humour their mother who was apparently craving some closeness with them today. Gloria was just so thankful to be with them this year. She hadn't gotten to celebrate a Christmas with her boys since they'd been little, and there was nothing like the holidays to make a former inmate feel nostalgic. Gloria loved everything about her life now, from her family, to their cozy little home together, to the person she had come to be. Right now, Gloria knew she was the very best version of herself.

Finally, the boys untangled themselves from their mother's arms and told her they were going out to do their last-minute shopping. They'd sat with her long enough, but they had places to be if they were ever going to be ready for tomorrow. Their attitudes were a far cry from how they had been on nearly every Christmas in recent memory. Having their mom back made all of the difference.

"The mall's going to be insane today," Gloria warned, as she watched them put on their boots and coats.

"We'll deal," Julio replied, zipping up his jacket. "I know you don't really care about getting presents, but I want to get you something you'll like."

Gloria smiled, "well, I know I'll love whatever you think of," she said. "Be safe out there though, guys. Bad weather and drivers are not able to see very well. Be careful crossing the roads."

"Yeah, yeah," Benny sighed. He walked back towards her on the couch, wearing his boots inside the house, but Gloria did not bother to object.

"Just so you know," he said awkwardly. "I probably _wouldn't_ put you in a nursing home when you get old."

Gloria laughed, "Benny, I was kidding before-"

"Yeah, but just so you know, I'd take care of you," Benny pressed on. "Galina too-she's good."

XXX

"How's my patient?" Gloria asked affectionately. She smiled from the door frame at the sight of Red lying curled up in the bed with her eyes on the television. Millie was lying curled up in a ball next to Red's hip. The cat had barely moved in the last two days, but had been lying faithfully by Red's side, enjoying cuddles and seemingly attempting to provide comfort. As much as Red had been complaining and insisting she felt well enough to work and do whatever else she considered of utmost importance, to Gloria she looked to be exactly where she needed to be.

"You mean your hostage?" Red retorted. She did not look at Gloria, but a frown spread across her face as she stared determinedly at the screen. Chuckling to herself, Gloria entered into their bedroom and sprawled herself across the foot of their bed. Lying on her stomach, she rested a hand lightly over Red's bare feet, which were exposed because she had kicked off her blankets.

"Oh, come on now, all I asked is that you take it easy for a few days," Gloria protested. Crawling up to kneel beside her, she rested her hand against Red's forehead, and rolled her eyes when her wife promptly jerked away-although not before Gloria could tell that she saw still very warm.

"At least rest so your fever will come down," she pleaded. "It's freezing outside anyway. You really feel like going out in that to catch your death?"

"I'll catch insanity if I don't get up and do something soon," Red replied shortly. She shot Gloria a look of incredulity "Catch my death…" she scoffed, "it's just a little snow, which I welcome. I was worried that we weren't going to have a white Christmas this year."

"Personally, I wouldn't mind Christmas somewhere tropical someday," Gloria winked. "Just a little suggestion for when we're retired and can do whatever we want."

"Hmm, that does sound nice," Red relented, "I've always wanted to go to Paris myself."

" _À la ville de l'amour_?" Gloria smiled, speaking one of the few lines of French she remembered from high school. "I'd go there with you. Someday when we have money...or rather, no longer have two little moochers eating up all our money."

"Someday," Red agreed in a scratchy voice, "in ten years probably-let's just make sure we do this stuff before we're too old to. I want to have lots of adventures with you."

She cleared her throat and then rolled over to lie on her side, facing Gloria. "Christmas Eve is tomorrow," she reminded her, as though Gloria could have forgotten. "I have a lot of things to do, you know."

"You don't have to do anything right now," Gloria admonished. "Let me worry about things for awhile, you're sick!"

"I'm not even that sick," Red argued. "Yesterday I was, but I was perfectly fine to get up today until you started overreacting." Her voice was raspy and as she spoke she caught a tickle in her throat and was consumed by a coughing fit. She sat up in bed and coughed into her sleeve while Gloria watched on.

"Perfectly fine, huh?" Gloria said dryly, as she handed Red the half full glass of juice that Benny had brought her.

"Shut up," Red grumbled, and then she gulped down the rest of her drink.

"Shut up?" Gloria raised her eyebrows, "is that how we're going to be today, _Mrs. Mendoza_?"

Red bit back a smile. "I am not Mrs. Mendoza," she said, the corners of her mouth tugging threateningly.

"You could be," Gloria teased, and Red swatted her playfully with her pillow. Gloria giggled and grabbed for Red's offending hand. Holding it tight, she brought it to her mouth for a kiss.

"I love you," Red whispered. She licked her lips hungrily and squeezed Gloria's hand back. "Is that all I'm going to get today?" she asked.

"Well…." Gloria considered, "although I do love you very much, I do not love your germs. So, I'm gonna need to keep my lips away from yours for awhile Red, Galina, Mrs.-whatever your name is."

"Hmm," Red grumbled, "you aren't very fun today."

"Is fun what you're after?" Gloria asked coyly. "Getting to lie around in bed for two days really too much for you? I'd love to do that sometime, but whenever I try hiding out in here everyone suddenly needs something from me."

"Maybe you _should_ let me give you some of my germs," Red teased, "then you'd have an excuse and I'd take good care of you."

Lying back down in the bed she rested her head on her pillow and shut her eyes in relief for a moment. Her face was pale, she was running a fever, and had a terrible cold. Her entire body was one big ache, even if she wanted to pretend it wasn't. Catching the flu was an unnecessary inconvenience that she'd have been inclined to ignore if left to her own devices. A part of it was pride and derived from her instinctive need to appear strong all the time. She also wasn't used to even having the option to take it easy for a little while and leave things in someone else's hands. Dmitri never would have stepped up to allow her to rest, but now Gloria was trying to do just that.

Tilting her head to the side, Gloria considered her. "You'll take care of me and yet you resent me wanting to take care of you when you're not feeling well," she lamented.

"That's not true," Red protested. "It's not about you. I just can't afford to be sick right now. It's almost Christmas, this is very bad timing."

"Oh, I think you'd be difficult even if it wasn't Christmastime," Gloria said honestly. "Face it darling, you're a terrible patient. But that doesn't mean you don't need to rest"

Red grumbled but did not argue back. Her arms twitched as though she were cold, and Gloria pulled the blankets back up over her. She brushed Red's hair back and then leaned forward to kiss her burning forehead. She let her lips linger and then she pressed them to her equally warm cheeks and the tip of her nose. Her hand wrapped around the back of Red's neck, and she absentmindedly began to squeeze at the very tense muscles there. Red's eyes were closed, but Gloria saw the way her face clenched up as though in pain when Gloria touched her there.

"Aww, my love," Gloria murmured, "are your muscles sore?"

"Yes," Red admitted. "Everything hurts."

Her eyes flickered open in surprise as she felt the bed lift slightly as Gloria got up. "Where are you going?" her voiced croaked.

"Nowhere," Gloria responded vaguely. She walked around the bed to the side Red's back was turned towards. She placed the palms of her hands flat on Red's back, overtop the comforter she was still snuggled underneath. She tugged the blanket down, and then pulled the baggy blue shirt she was wearing up.

"What are you doing?" Red asked in confusion, though she sat up and cooperated with the removing of her night shirt. Since she'd been in bed all day, she had not bothered putting on a bra underneath.

"Making you feel better," Gloria answered simply. "Lie on your stomach and I'll do your back and shoulders first."

"You don't have to do that," Red resisted, even as she lay down on her stomach as instructed to. She smiled, her mouth hidden as her lips buried into her pillow. It was always her first instinct to protest this extra attention, but she had to admit that she really enjoyed it when Gloria chose to spoil her.

"Oh, none of that," Gloria answered. She picked the tv remote up and turned the channel to one that played soothing music. "Anyways, the boys went out and I don't expect them back for several hours. So why don't you just relax and let me make you feel good?"

"Okay," Red let out a contented breath. Her arms squeezed around her pillow, she got herself comfortable and then shut her eyes.

Gloria reached inside the drawer of her bedside table and pulled out a small bottle of oil that she kept there. She squeezed some onto her hand and then rubbed them together to warm up. Standing beside the bed, Gloria leaned over to run her hands over Red's back using a swirling movement that she knew felt good. She paid careful attention to Red's nonverbal cues. Noting where her more tender spots were, which needed more attention to relieve the tension. She actually used the entire length of her right arm to press into the very sore center of Red's lower back, which had given her trouble ever since she was a young woman doing hard labour in a Russian factory. She took her time, making sure that she didn't miss a single spot.

"That feels so good," Red aid breathlessly. Her eyes were still shut and Gloria could sense just how relaxed she was becoming. Rather than answer, Gloria leaned forward to kiss the map of six brown beauty marks that zig zagged up her back. Nobody else was probably even aware that Red had those freckles. Gloria was the only one who got to be this close to her.

She gracefully crawled back up onto the bed. climbing on top of her, Gloria's knees sunk into the bed as she straddled her. She traced her fingers up and down Red's spine, the oil's lubrication making them smoothly glide. Gloria reached the top of her shoulder blades and then wrapped her entire hands around the stiff muscles where her neck and shoulders met. Kneading her there, Gloria could feel the restrictive movement in them, and kept massaging the same muscles until she felt them loosen and roll with her hands. Red felt lightened, like she was melting.

She squeezed her hands slowly down Red's arms, taking her time and not missing an inch. When she reached her wrists, she trailed her finger up to her shoulders and back rapidly. Red shivered against the deliberately light, almost ghostlike touch and Gloria smiled when she saw goosebumps appear. Not wanting her to catch a chill, Gloria rubbed her hands over Red's back one more time and then pulled the blanket back up until it reached the nook of her neck.

"Thank you," Red breathed, assuming that Gloria had finished.

"I'm not done yet," Gloria responded coyly. She climbed off of her though and sat herself cross-legged at the foot of the bed. "Turn over for me please?"

"Okay," Red agreed. Gloria had a magical touch and she was eager to soak up more of it. She was also feeling sleepy. Another minute or more of Gloria massaging her back and she knew she would have drifted off, although she didn't want to. This was too enjoyable to miss and the gesture of it was making Red feel very loved

She sat up in bed and pulled her shirt back on over her head. "I like when you take care of me," she admitted, giving Gloria a loving smile. She stacked three of their pillows and then rested back against them, so that she was propped up comfortably. It felt like was resting on a cloud.

"I know I've been grumpy," Red admitted sheepishly.

"If you hadn't been grumpy then I'd have really been worried," Gloria replied easily, resting her hands on Red's calves.

"How come you weren't this concerned when Benny was sick last week?" Red asked with a smirk. "But I get all this attention?"

"Please," Gloria rolled her eyes. "That boy lives for sick days home from school. But you...you couldn't even lift your head off the pillow yesterday and you slept for like fifteen hours straight, which is so not like you. Usually I can't get you to sleep enough. You must have been feeling terrible, my poor baby."

"I guess," Red shrugged, "but I feel much better now."

"I'm going to do your legs," Gloria told her. She thumbed suggestively at the bottom of Red's blue pajama pants and then tugged them off of her. Red lifted her hips to help and then Gloria sat them beside her in the bed.

"I want every part of you to feel good," Gloria told her. "I don't like you feeling sore." Her hands worked their way up her legs until she reached the top of her thighs. Then she slowly brought them all the way back down to her feet and could feel Red's entire body relaxing. She responded well to everything Gloria was doing. Gloria felt like she knew her wife's body as well as her own and therefore knew exactly what to do.

Despite the dark circles under Red's eyes, the light in them glimmered in adoration as she looked down on her beloved. "Come here," she motioned her over. Gloria moved to lie on top of her. They were close to the same height to they matched up near perfectly, as their bodies pressed together. Gloria kept her hands on either side of Red to support her own weight, but she nuzzled her lips against her neck. Kissing her sensitive skin, Gloria couldn't resist suctioning her lips against her neck and sucking hard for a moment. She'd have liked to have marked her, but she let up before she knew it would bruise. Red would kill her if she left any obvious signs.

"You made me feel so much better," Red told her.

"I'm glad," Gloria replied. She puckered her lips against Red's collar bone and felt a tingle of excitement within as though she were the one being ravished. She had been feeling a growing urge inside of herself with the more attention she gave to Red. Sometimes giving was more pleasurable than receiving, and it didn't even necessary need to be sexual by nature. Any intimate contact between them affected her this way.

"I'm really turned on," Gloria whispered in Red's ear.

"You are?" Red asked hoarsely. She giggled but it converted into a cough unwillingly, which had her barking into the crook of her arm. Once she had recovered, she stroked a hand over Gloria's cheek and down the side of her neck softly.

"Uh huh," Gloria nodded. She dipped her pelvis down, pressing against her suggestively. She rubbed against her slowly through the fabric of her yoga pants, as Red placed her hands on the curve of her hips.

Gloria pulled back just long enough to slip her pants and panties off, which she then threw forcefully to the floor. Now with no barriers, she aligned her own body with Red's again and rubbed against her rhythmically. Her arms on either side of Red's shoulders, Gloria arched her back with her chest raised. She forcefully grinded against her at a steady pace, almost aggressively, as her wife lay passively beneath her.

It wasn't too long before Red got over her initial surprise and became a more active participant in this exchange. Lifting herself ever so slightly, Red wrapped her arms around Gloria's neck and began moving beneath her in a synchronized ploy. She bent her legs up and squeezed them inwardly, pressing her thighs against Gloria, who was lying between them.

It astonished her, although it shouldn't have, to see evidence of how strong Gloria's attraction to her was. To be so desirable was not something she had experienced with any other previous partner. The brief fling with Pavel had been mainly about himself and Dmitri had used her body for his own personal gratification, but had never acted too admiring towards it for its own sake. Even stuffed up, hoarse, and fevered, Gloria couldn't resist the want to be with her. Nobody had ever made Red feel so comfortable with herself.

Gloria's ferocity was unspeakably sexy. As she listened to the heavy panting against her ear, Red felt her whole body tingle, right down to the part that was currently grinding against Gloria's, and now she was becoming aroused too. Her own breath felt hot and alluring against Gloria's neck. The friction between them was mounting in intensity with each slickened movement. They wanted one another so badly.

"Kiss me," Gloria commanded breathlessly, pecking Red's lips incessantly with multiple butterfly kisses of her own. Worries about germs were as far from her mind right now as anything else that wasn't Galina Reznikov. She was all that Gloria could see in this instant, and she was all that she wanted. Nothing mattered in this moment besides her.

It was close for both of them, and without words, they slowed their pacing down so that they were barely moving. Gloria lifted herself so that their skin was barely brushing. She could feel Red wriggle beneath her, as her body shifted in hopes of instigating more contact. Gloria brushed her lips against Red's forehead, smiling at this forced lull of most eager anticipation. She teased her, lightly giving just the most delicate of touches, as both of their bodies were tense from an exponential need for immediate release.

When Gloria was finally done playing with her, teasing her on the brink of ecstasy, she lowered her hips back down, pressing against her with great force. Gloria moved against her with slow and heavy movements, picking up the pace very gradually. Red's legs wrapped around her body and her arms around her neck so that they were as close as they could be. Every part of themselves was making a strong contact when their quickening pulsations at last released simultaneously, and their bodies shook with shared pleasure.

Red wouldn't let go of her even after they both had calmed. Still wrapped around Gloria, she loosened her grip just enough for Gloria to roll off of her and lie down beside her. Their legs were still tangled together as Gloria rested her chin on top of Red's hair and pulled her close again. Red's arm wrapped over her waist in a hug and her face was in line with Gloria's collar bone. Each breath she took was a like tickle on Gloria's neck and every part of both of them was relaxed. Red could feel herself nodding off, but instead of resisting, she willingly shut her tired eyes. She was in Gloria's arms, just wanting to be held, and this was the best medicine of all.

XXX

"Gloria, did you hear that?" Red said groggily, her eyes still closed. The sound of a door opening had woken her up and she could hear some shuffling around in the living room. Opening her eyes, she placed a hand over Gloria's breast, feeling the steady rising and falling of her chest as she breathed deeply in her slumber. Gloria must have fallen asleep herself as she'd lain there cuddling her. Red felt so comfortable in her arms and didn't want to disturb Gloria, but she knew that somebody was home and that Gloria needed to hurry to get dressed.

"Gloria, I think the kids are home," Red hissed shaking her shoulder roughly. Working to untangle her limbs from around Gloria's she pulled back in the bed and sat up. She reached for her pajama bottom, which had been wadded up beneath the covers. Slipping them on, Red then shook Gloria again with a great force than before, jolting her awake.

"Get dressed," Red told her, as Gloria stared back at her in puzzlement.

"Yes, yes," Gloria sighed, finally coming to. She blinked around in confusion, as she was always perplexed when she happened to fall asleep unexpectedly in the middle of the day. Spying her pants and underwear tossed carelessly onto the floor, Gloria sighed loudly and climbed out of the bed to retrieve them. Yet the second she did, she jumped back as a shadow cast itself in the doorway. Anxiously tugging down her sweater to cover her lower half, Gloria slowly lifted her eyes as a flush burned on her cheeks.

"Relax it's just me," Nicky sniggered. "Although I'm sorry to interrupt what I'm guessing was a lot of fun. I hope this means that you're beginning to feel better, Ma."

"What are you doing, Nicky?" Red asked hoarsely. Her cheeks were pink from embarrassment since she knew it was incredibly obvious what had recently transpired between them. However, if someone in this family was going to walk in on them at this moment, then Red was glad it was Nicky. She had had the misfortune of happening upon Nicky in several awkward situations before. It wasn't like Nicky could judge her.

"Visiting," Nicky replied. "I brought you some chicken soup. It's in the kitchen for whenever you want it."

"Don't you ever knock?" Gloria asked. Reaching down to pick up her clothes, she gave an indignant huff.

"You left your bedroom door open," Nicky pointed out. "Besides II have a key." She moved further into the room and crawled up into their bed and under the covers. Red bit back a smile at her girl's daring attitude, and reached for a tissue out of the box on her table.

"That's impressive on its own," Gloria said sarcastically, pulling her pants back on. "I removed the one you buried in the flower pot and I'd just assumed you'd have lost your other one by now." Crossing her arms across her chest she walked over to the bed and gave Nicky a very unimpressed look. "And that is my spot you're in, you know."

"I know," Nicky replied simply. "It's still warm and I'm freezing from outside. Won't you share, Gloria? There's enough room for all of us."

"Spoiled brat," Gloria complained, "I wasn't expecting anybody for hours. I was terrified that you were one of my sons."

"You'd have scarred them for life," Nicky told her. "You want my advice? Next time you're in the throes of passion, try to not throw your clothes almost into the hallway. It saves the inconvenience of needing to run around naked to find your underwear when you're in a rush."

Gloria rolled her eyes and just walked around to Red's other side. Pulling back the blanket she crawled in beside her, as Red shifted into the center of the bed. Curving against her back, Gloria wrapped an arm across Red's front possessively and kissed her cheek. Red smiled at the affection, but rubbed her eyes against her sleeve. She wasn't feeling good, and after what she and Gloria had just shared, Red was less inclined to pretend to be fine.

"I don't know why you're so annoyed with me," Nicky was saying, "it's not like I haven't seen you in your underwear before, Gloria. Although, I am glad to see that you took my advice and bought some sexier styles. You're not old enough for granny panties."

Red smiled at Nicky's words. She completely agreed with her which was why she had bought Gloria all her matching sets of bras and panties in the first place. Grasping the hand that Gloria had wrapped around her front, Red brought it to her lips and kissed it. Then, holding it against her heart she looked up at Nicky.

"So, there's soup in the kitchen?" she asked.

"Yeah, would you like some?" Nicky asked, and Red nodded. Climbing out of the bed, Nicky chuckled to herself. "I suppose you worked up an appetite, huh? Well...chicken soup is the best medicine for the flu, unless Gloria's got some tricks you never told me about."

"Don't underestimate me, Nicky," Gloria retorted, leaning forward to kiss Red's cheek. "And on your way back, will you bring me a soda? I'm thirsty."

"So long as I can have one too," Nicky replied, "and if you promise not to go crazy on me like the last time I helped myself to your Dr. Pepper."

"You took the last can!" Gloria complained, "I had ever right to get mad. I was saving it."

"There's a 24-hour convenience store across the street," Nicky replied. "It's not like you were stranded on a deserted island and I drank all the water."

She hurried off into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a tray laden with a bowl of soup, some fresh bread, and a glass of juice for Red. She'd grabbed two sodas from the door of the fridge for herself and Gloria, and had snagged a bag of chips from the kitchen cupboard. She helped set the tray comfortably across Red's lap and then handed Gloria her drink.

"Hmm, this looks pretty good," said Red. She blew and then spooned some into her mouth. The hot broth was soothing on her scratchy throat on the way down. "Thank you, Nicky."

"That's what a daughter is for," Nicky said sweetly. She took a sip of her Dr. Pepper and then smacked her lips together. "Especially around the holidays. Are you going to be up for all the Christmas stuff planned for tomorrow, Ma?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I will be," Red replied.

"Just checking," Nicky smiled. "I'm actually really looking forward to it. So is Lorna. Her family always does the big Christmas celebration stuff too, but it usually ends in a fight."

"That's too bad," Gloria said sympathetically. She didn't know much about the Morello family, or much about Lorna either for that matter. They never really had much reason to associate with one another before, but now Gloria supposed she should take the time to get to know the petite brunette a little better. She and Nicky were serious, and that made Lorna a member of her and Red's family.

"Yeah," Nicky shrugged, "I mean-they're okay. It's just her mom is sick and basically bedridden, and everyone else works themselves into a frenzy arguing about whose turn it is to look after her. It's a lot to deal with."

"Lorna still goes over to help though right?" Red's eyes narrowed slightly. "It's not fair if all of the burden is falling on Franny's shoulders."

"Lorna does her share," Nicky said defensively, "But what about Mikey? Lorna's brother doesn't do shit and nobody does anything about him."

"Well, it's different for sons," Red shrugged. "It's not the same sort of relationship as one with a daughter. I'm not saying it's fair or right, but if my in-laws had gotten sick, I would have automatically been expected to take care of them. Dmitri wouldn't have helped, and they were his parents."

"That's wrong on so many levels," Nicky told her, "but the whole thing really is. Lorna does what she can, but they can't just expect her to give up her own life to stay at home with her all the time. Especially when it's not like Lorna's mother ever shows her any appreciation."

"Benny should be here for this conversation," Gloria chuckled, reaching out to touch Red's arm. "I was joking around with him today and he decided to be all sweet and said he won't shunt us off to a nursing home when we get too old and sick. Listening to this might change his mind, though."

"Ugh, how can you even joke about such things?" Red shuddered. "I don't even want to think about getting like that. I can't imagine a worse fate. I think I would probably just cut my losses and put myself out of my misery."

"It's pretty sad actually," Nicky told them. "Lorna's mom is so demanding on them all and really annoying, but I feel sorry for her anyway. It can't be fun having to live that way."

"It's sad," Gloria said. "And it's hard on the family. Lorna's mom doesn't have a nurse or anything?"

"She does during the day," Nicky replied. "But the nurse goes home at night and then it's up to them to do everything. Franny said she doesn't even sleep through the night anymore. Just wakes up constantly and rings this bell she has until somebody answers. I try to be nice to her though. I bought her a really nice cashmere sweater for Christmas. I'm planning on scoring major daughter-in-law points this year."

"Daughter-in-law points?" Gloria asked curiously. "You getting married?"

"No!" Nicky exclaimed, "not yet anyway. I'm not in any hurry, but I expect that's something for us all to look forward to, in five or more years, I guess."

"That's exciting," Red smiled. "So long as everything continues going okay for the two of you..."

"That's the reason I'm waiting," Nicky told her. "I need to make sure it's okay. Besides that, we're both young. I've got all the time in the world."

"That's what I always tell myself because I don't feel my age," said Red. "I feel twenty-seven. And then I look at myself in the mirror and get a reality check."

"You look pretty good to me," Gloria said. "So long as you don't mind my greying hair and deepening crow's feet, I think we can keep each other young at heart, at least."

"Yes," Red agreed with a smile.

"Hey, I fully support aging with grace," Nicky chimed in. "Marka has had like three faces in the past decade. Each time she goes under the knife I think she starts to look a little more fake. No wrinkles though, if that's what you're after…"

"How do you know that?" Red asked her curiously. "I didn't think you'd been in contact…you told me before, when I said you should call, that you didn't want to." She looked upset. Even though she had encouraged Nicky several times to be more open to communication with Marka, a part of Red couldn't help but feel threatened by it.

"I didn't want to call her then and I still don't," Nicky said honestly. "Marka just added me on Facebook last week and for some reason I was feeling generous that night and decided to accept."

"How kind of you," Red said dryly. "I wonder what made Marka feel inclined to do that in the first place, though?"

"Nosy?" Nicky guessed. "I haven't seen or spoken to the woman in ages. Maybe she was just trying to get a glimpse of my life so that she could find something to criticize me for."

"Oh, Nicky," Gloria sighed. "I know Marka is a piece of work but I doubt her motive was to be to critical. She probably _is_ nosy, but not because she wants to criticize. She probably just wants to see how you've been doing because she cares."

Nicky squinted at her. "I think you might be projecting a little bit there, Gloria," she retorted. "Marka's greatest ambition since the day I was born was to be as far away from me as possible."

"She has provided you with the nice life that you and Lorna are living," Gloria argued. "Your apartment is gorgeous and there is no way that you girls could afford that on your own. You're not even working right now because you're in school full-time. And Marka's paying for that too."

She knew that Nicky was probably right to accuse her of projecting herself onto Nicky's experience. It was just that the estrangement between Nicky and Marka reminded Gloria a lot of the often-strained relationship between herself and her own daughters. Gloria had made decisions that had caused Valentina and Carmen to feel rejected or uncared for by her, but nothing could have been further from the truth. Gloria knew Nicky's story. The girl was very candid about it and Red had filled in some pieces of the puzzle for her too, but Gloria also believed that Marka had a story to tell also. She wasn't the enemy.

"Marka only throws money at me so she won't feel guilty about how much she sucks as a mom," Nicky told them.

"That's true," Red agreed, speaking up before Gloria could retort. She had finished her soup while the two of them had been arguing and now set her tray down at the foot of the bed. Picking up her glass, Red took a small sip of juice and then held it between both of her hands. She turned to face Nicky, who was looking quite smug about how Red had just sided with her over Gloria.

"She buys you things because it's the only way she knows how to show she cares," Red proceeded to say. "But that doesn't mean that she doesn't care, Nicky. She does very much. She just can't give you more because there is something wrong with her."

"There's a lot wrong with her," Nicky said dramatically. "The only thing she's got going for her is that she actually comes off decent when you compare her with my Dad. They both suck though."

"Well, I still think it's a good thing that you added her on social media," Gloria said.

"Me too," Red said quietly. "It's not easy for me, but I've been telling you to call her ever since you got out."

"Red, there is nothing for you to worry about," Nicky told her. "You're my mom-you're the one who counts."

"Thank you, darling," Red smiled. "That's very sweet."

"It's true," Nicky insisted. "I mean, the only good thing that came out of hitting rock bottom and going to prison was that I got to meet the two of you...and Lorna," she added. Then she said with a smile. "And Alex, Piper ex cetera, ex cetera...friends are good."

"It's part of the broken road in this journey called life," said Gloria meaningfully. "Sometimes that path you're on is really rough, but those ones usually lead to the best places...and they teach you all sorts of things."

"I've never liked sayings about how much everything happens for a reason," Red told them. "Those are just things that people say to make themselves feel better about how bad their lives are. So many unnecessarily terrible things happened to me-to all three of us-and I can't justify that. I'll never be okay about it."

"We don't have to be okay about the terrible things we went through in the past in order to make peace with it," Gloria said softly. "And I think that's the point. To try to find the beauty in the rain. The three of us wouldn't be here together right now if it hadn't been for that shared experience. Perhaps the universe could have found a kinder way to link us, but I believe in destiny and that this is meant to be."

"I think so too," Nicky agreed. "All of that stuff bonds us together and life is good now. I feel like we're being rewarded finally. So much is finally going right for me and it's only been a year...exactly a year, in fact."

"That's right!" Red exclaimed. "Last year, on this very day, I picked you up from Litchfield and got to take you home."

"It's a pretty important anniversary," Nicky teased. "I'm sort of offended there wasn't a cake here to mark the occasion."

"Is it supposed to be a celebratory thing?" Gloria blinked. "I'm certainly not going to celebrate my one year when it arrives. I'd rather forget that part of my life entirely. Keep it in the past where it belongs."

"I don't even remember the official date of mine," Red told them. "End of January, that's as much as I can recall."

"January 24th," Nicky informed her. She leaned her head against Red's shoulder and sighed. "I'll never forget the day you left," she said seriously. "I was so worried that it was going to be the last time that I ever saw you. I knew you'd meant what you promised me about staying in touch and about us moving in together when I finally got out, but I just thought that you'd get so distracted by your sons and grandchildren that you'd forget about me."

"Aww, _chicka_ ," Gloria sighed. "I remember that. The two of us just trying to stay busy while we waited to see if you really were going to come back for us. You had said you'd wait for me and I knew you loved me, but I wasn't certain that our relationship would transfer into the real world. I was worried you'd have second thoughts about us."

Red kissed her cheek. "The absence just made me grow to love you more," she reassured her.

"Our separation was agony," Gloria sighed. "But when you faithfully kept coming to see me and started taking care of my sons- _our sons,_ " she corrected herself with a smile. "I just knew that everything was going to be okay. Nobody else would have ever done as much for me as you did. You were the one to realize that I was worth it."

"Because you are," said Red. "After my children-which of course includes you, Nicky-you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I really love you, Gloria."

"I really love you too," Gloria whispered back. Pressing a finger to the bottom of Red's chin, she tilted her head so that she could kiss her lips. She didn't care about germs right now. She just cared about being close to her.

Nicky snuggled down closer, wrapping an arm across Red's waist. "Don't I get any love too?" she asked. When Red and Gloria still didn't break apart, Nicky rolled her eyes. "Sort of miss the days when you two were afraid to admit that you liked one another as more than friends," she teased. "Did I call it or what?"

"Excuse me?" Gloria turned away from Red to give Nicky a look. "All I remember about your part in this, was how jealous you were when we got together."

"Well...it was all new," Nicky said defensively. "I mean, for real...Norma had never been much of a threat, but you were different. Once you two stopped bickering and began to get along, I could instantly see the connection there. I noticed it before either of you did."

Red and Gloria exchanged a look and they knew they were both looking back and thinking about how they had first fallen in love. Neither had been prepared or had expected to find love in the most unlikely of place and person, but they had found it in one another. Now, every single morning when they woke up in one another's arms and then headed into the kitchen to have breakfast with Julio and Benny, Red and Gloria thanked their lucky stars that they had been courageous enough to take the plunge. To open themselves to a love more wonderful than their wildest imagination, and give themselves to one another in a way they had never been able to fully do for anyone else. They had always been meant for each other.

"You talk a lot about how I helped you, Nicky," Red said seriously, "but I don't think I mention it enough, just how much you helped me. You, my girl, gave me a whole new perspective on life...and I always feel lucky to have you as my daughter. You'll always be my blessing."

"And you'll always be my saving grace," Nicky told her. "Even when your nose is stuffed up and you're probably contagious, I always like to be right beside you. You're my safe place." Then she grinned at Gloria. "And you're like my stern Latina mother who likes to bicker and threaten to kick my ass, but at the same time, I know that you love me as much as I love you."

Gloria laughed, "that's because I do," she said. "We've survived a lot together, you and me-all three of us. I'm glad to know that I get to share the rest of my life with the two of you."

"To us," Nicky said raising her can of Dr. Pepper. "Our first Christmas together and our upcoming New Year."

Gloria and Red both raised the perspective drinks. "To us," they echoed her.

Through the good, and the bad, they were going to always be there for one another.

 **The End**


End file.
